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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tina on October 16, 2001, at 14:00:17
The following message requires a warning: it's a rant!
I am sick of the mood swings. Last saturday, I got up in the morning and had energy and bravado to spare. An agoraphobe by nature lately, I was surprised to find myself itching to go out and see and do everything. Things I usually can't even conceive of without some kind of panic attack. Well, the whole day saturday, I saw, did and enjoyed without a single benzo. I didn't want to come home again. Sunday, the same thing. I wanted to go out, I NEEDED to do something, anything. I stayed out and shopped and visited and had great fun. Monday came round and I even felt I had the nerve to go job hunting and I did. I put in a couple of resumes around town and still had the desire to stay out and do stuff.
Now, tuesday, I can't do anything. I had planned to go out job hunting again but I can't even get my ass up off the couch to pick up milk and bread at the grocery store. I have hit bottom again. I'm crying over stupid little things. Haven't eaten all day. Yelling at the dog if she comes within 5 feet of me. I absolutely hate myself right now.
I can't understand why there is such a massive difference today in my mood and function from the last three days. It doesn't come under the heading of rapid cycling. It isn't simple depression. What the hell is it?
I'm tired of getting up in the morning not knowing who is going to be in the mirror?
Posted by Phil on October 16, 2001, at 15:32:42
In reply to Argh, I can't stand it!!!, posted by tina on October 16, 2001, at 14:00:17
I can totally relate, Tina. Except, if I'm not at work, I hardly ever get that feeling of wanting to go and do. I'm glad you had three days but you, we, deserve more than an occasional tease.
My friends, what are left, know that planning something with me is like trying to herd cats.
I've been thinking about a light box...do you think it would help with energy?Thinking about you,
Phil
Posted by susan C on October 16, 2001, at 17:15:48
In reply to Argh, I can't stand it!!!, posted by tina on October 16, 2001, at 14:00:17
> The following message requires a warning: it's a rant!
Phill, Have you seen the demo for the Palm Pilot called Herdin' Cats...?
Tina: Me NEITHER!. I am glad the sun came out for you. It has been gray and wet today, til just a few minutes ago...It is good It got sunny, yesterday was too much for me, I had my 'treat' of a gardener and her two helpers come clean up my postage stamp yard and one of the workers pruned the holly bush into a tree, yikes! scalped is more like it...and then a ADD neighbor came over and kept asking about computer things, then started yakking at the workers and I finally went up to her and said, I am paying these people to work in my yard, please go home, I dont know if i even said please...It was a very difficult day, I havent dealt with four people at one time in a long time...and they didnt get everything done...ohhhhh, i tink I see the trigger, eh? white man?
I havent noticed a difference with a light box, except for the addtional light accentuates the fact that i am getting old and need more light to read.
Mixed States, I think it is called...I was ready to disappear today. Angry at everything. It is a good thing I am alone, if I had a dog, I probably would have kicked it...
a vicious mouse
susan C>
> I am sick of the mood swings. Last saturday, I got up in the morning and had energy and bravado to spare. An agoraphobe by nature lately, I was surprised to find myself itching to go out and see and do everything. Things I usually can't even conceive of without some kind of panic attack. Well, the whole day saturday, I saw, did and enjoyed without a single benzo. I didn't want to come home again. Sunday, the same thing. I wanted to go out, I NEEDED to do something, anything. I stayed out and shopped and visited and had great fun. Monday came round and I even felt I had the nerve to go job hunting and I did. I put in a couple of resumes around town and still had the desire to stay out and do stuff.
> Now, tuesday, I can't do anything. I had planned to go out job hunting again but I can't even get my ass up off the couch to pick up milk and bread at the grocery store. I have hit bottom again. I'm crying over stupid little things. Haven't eaten all day. Yelling at the dog if she comes within 5 feet of me. I absolutely hate myself right now.
> I can't understand why there is such a massive difference today in my mood and function from the last three days. It doesn't come under the heading of rapid cycling. It isn't simple depression. What the hell is it?
> I'm tired of getting up in the morning not knowing who is going to be in the mirror?
Posted by tina on October 16, 2001, at 19:01:41
In reply to Re: Argh, I can't stand it!!! Fill and » tina, posted by susan C on October 16, 2001, at 17:15:48
thanks for the laff Phil. Herding cats. LOL
> > The following message requires a warning: it's a rant!
>
> Phill, Have you seen the demo for the Palm Pilot called Herdin' Cats...?
>
> Tina: Me NEITHER!. I am glad the sun came out for you. It has been gray and wet today, til just a few minutes ago...It is good It got sunny, yesterday was too much for me, I had my 'treat' of a gardener and her two helpers come clean up my postage stamp yard and one of the workers pruned the holly bush into a tree, yikes! scalped is more like it...and then a ADD neighbor came over and kept asking about computer things, then started yakking at the workers and I finally went up to her and said, I am paying these people to work in my yard, please go home, I dont know if i even said please...It was a very difficult day, I havent dealt with four people at one time in a long time...and they didnt get everything done...ohhhhh, i tink I see the trigger, eh? white man?
>
> I havent noticed a difference with a light box, except for the addtional light accentuates the fact that i am getting old and need more light to read.
>
> Mixed States, I think it is called...I was ready to disappear today. Angry at everything. It is a good thing I am alone, if I had a dog, I probably would have kicked it...
>
> a vicious mouse
> susan C
>
> >
> > I am sick of the mood swings. Last saturday, I got up in the morning and had energy and bravado to spare. An agoraphobe by nature lately, I was surprised to find myself itching to go out and see and do everything. Things I usually can't even conceive of without some kind of panic attack. Well, the whole day saturday, I saw, did and enjoyed without a single benzo. I didn't want to come home again. Sunday, the same thing. I wanted to go out, I NEEDED to do something, anything. I stayed out and shopped and visited and had great fun. Monday came round and I even felt I had the nerve to go job hunting and I did. I put in a couple of resumes around town and still had the desire to stay out and do stuff.
> > Now, tuesday, I can't do anything. I had planned to go out job hunting again but I can't even get my ass up off the couch to pick up milk and bread at the grocery store. I have hit bottom again. I'm crying over stupid little things. Haven't eaten all day. Yelling at the dog if she comes within 5 feet of me. I absolutely hate myself right now.
> > I can't understand why there is such a massive difference today in my mood and function from the last three days. It doesn't come under the heading of rapid cycling. It isn't simple depression. What the hell is it?
> > I'm tired of getting up in the morning not knowing who is going to be in the mirror?
Posted by tina on October 16, 2001, at 19:05:22
In reply to Re: Argh, I can't stand it!!! Fill and » tina, posted by susan C on October 16, 2001, at 17:15:48
love your thought processes susan. Mixed states ya say? I'd rather a mixed drink.:)
> > The following message requires a warning: it's a rant!
>
> Phill, Have you seen the demo for the Palm Pilot called Herdin' Cats...?
>
> Tina: Me NEITHER!. I am glad the sun came out for you. It has been gray and wet today, til just a few minutes ago...It is good It got sunny, yesterday was too much for me, I had my 'treat' of a gardener and her two helpers come clean up my postage stamp yard and one of the workers pruned the holly bush into a tree, yikes! scalped is more like it...and then a ADD neighbor came over and kept asking about computer things, then started yakking at the workers and I finally went up to her and said, I am paying these people to work in my yard, please go home, I dont know if i even said please...It was a very difficult day, I havent dealt with four people at one time in a long time...and they didnt get everything done...ohhhhh, i tink I see the trigger, eh? white man?
>
> I havent noticed a difference with a light box, except for the addtional light accentuates the fact that i am getting old and need more light to read.
>
> Mixed States, I think it is called...I was ready to disappear today. Angry at everything. It is a good thing I am alone, if I had a dog, I probably would have kicked it...
>
> a vicious mouse
> susan C
>
> >
> > I am sick of the mood swings. Last saturday, I got up in the morning and had energy and bravado to spare. An agoraphobe by nature lately, I was surprised to find myself itching to go out and see and do everything. Things I usually can't even conceive of without some kind of panic attack. Well, the whole day saturday, I saw, did and enjoyed without a single benzo. I didn't want to come home again. Sunday, the same thing. I wanted to go out, I NEEDED to do something, anything. I stayed out and shopped and visited and had great fun. Monday came round and I even felt I had the nerve to go job hunting and I did. I put in a couple of resumes around town and still had the desire to stay out and do stuff.
> > Now, tuesday, I can't do anything. I had planned to go out job hunting again but I can't even get my ass up off the couch to pick up milk and bread at the grocery store. I have hit bottom again. I'm crying over stupid little things. Haven't eaten all day. Yelling at the dog if she comes within 5 feet of me. I absolutely hate myself right now.
> > I can't understand why there is such a massive difference today in my mood and function from the last three days. It doesn't come under the heading of rapid cycling. It isn't simple depression. What the hell is it?
> > I'm tired of getting up in the morning not knowing who is going to be in the mirror?
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 17, 2001, at 9:32:06
In reply to Re: Argh, I can't stand it!!! mousie, posted by tina on October 16, 2001, at 19:05:22
> Tina:
I certainly understand. You never know who you'll be when you crawl out of bed in the morning.
I actually don't think it's mixed states - that's when you're both manic and depressed. It could be rapid cycling (don't let time frames fool you from my experience), unless you're just not exhibiting any signs of hypomania or mania. If not then, it's depression as you say. What are you taking for it?
Even on a pretty good combo right now for BPII, Depakote and Prozac, I tentatively wake up each morning and kind of mull around my head for a few minutes to see what's in there. Some mornings I go back to sleep. I am trying really hard to find something that gets me up each day. For some reason coffee and eggs have been helping lately. But my cholesterol is probably going through the roof. ;)
If you can, I think it's best to give in to days when you can't do anything. But you have to be your own judge. I'm sure many would disagree with me.
- K.===
Posted by paxvox on October 17, 2001, at 11:18:17
In reply to Completely understand... » tina, posted by Krazy Kat on October 17, 2001, at 9:32:06
What's all this about cat herding? I feel that cats have been getting a lot of negative publicity lately. Something seems awful mousey about this to me. :)
PAX
Posted by tina on October 17, 2001, at 14:23:49
In reply to Completely understand... » tina, posted by Krazy Kat on October 17, 2001, at 9:32:06
> > Tina:
>
> I certainly understand. You never know who you'll be when you crawl out of bed in the morning.
>
> I actually don't think it's mixed states - that's when you're both manic and depressed. It could be rapid cycling (don't let time frames fool you from my experience), unless you're just not exhibiting any signs of hypomania or mania. If not then, it's depression as you say. What are you taking for it?
>
> Even on a pretty good combo right now for BPII, Depakote and Prozac, I tentatively wake up each morning and kind of mull around my head for a few minutes to see what's in there. Some mornings I go back to sleep. I am trying really hard to find something that gets me up each day. For some reason coffee and eggs have been helping lately. But my cholesterol is probably going through the roof. ;)
>
> If you can, I think it's best to give in to days when you can't do anything. But you have to be your own judge. I'm sure many would disagree with me.
>
>
Krazy Kat
Thank you for your reply. At the moment, I'm taking nothing. The occasional benzo when I'm having a really anxious day, that's it. I don't see that I cycle rapidly although I do have way ups and way downs, daily. Wish I could be manic all the time without the risky-ness. The energy and courage would really be nice.
I finally got the "balls" to call a psych and I see her on friday. I'll let you know whether we go the meds route again. I'm going to at least get something to help me sleep. I just don't sleep these days. It's annoying.If the cholesterol scares you, try "egg beaters" you know, the eggs without the cholesterol.
Here's to pleasant dreams and sunny mornings Kat
take care
Tina>
> ===
Posted by KB on October 17, 2001, at 22:46:47
In reply to Re: Completely understand..., posted by paxvox on October 17, 2001, at 11:18:17
My cats (5 of them) are very herdable - as long as there's food involved!!!
Posted by Wendy B. on October 18, 2001, at 17:41:37
In reply to Re: Completely understand... » Krazy Kat , posted by tina on October 17, 2001, at 14:23:49
> > If you can, I think it's best to give in to days when you can't do anything. But you have to be your own judge. I'm sure many would disagree with me.
> >
> >
> Krazy Kat
I wouldn't disagree, but then I never disagree with you, K. Being kind to yourself is what certain kinds of therapists would say. So we just have to learn to say it to ourselves.
> Thank you for your reply. At the moment, I'm taking nothing. The occasional benzo when I'm having a really anxious day, that's it. I don't see that I cycle rapidly although I do have way ups and way downs, daily. Wish I could be manic all the time without the risky-ness. The energy and courage would really be nice.
Tina: Great to have you get so many kind answers to your rant. (And the one from Susan, priceless. I know what you mean, S: -- Dealing with 4 people at one time when you haven't for a while must have been a fright...) Tina, would it help any more if I told you I am right there with you? I find I can't keep a mood for more than a day, maybe two. Then I dip down, and last week I went UP too far.
> I finally got the "balls" to call a psych and I see her on friday.
Yea! Yea! Yea!
>I'll let you know whether we go the meds route again. I'm going to at least get something to help me sleep. I just don't sleep these days. It's annoying.
Remember to ask about the low-side effect mood-stabilizers, like neurontin. It may work for you, it may not. The insomnia is a symptom of the hypomania. Tell the psych what you know about yourself, and >ask for what you want< .
> If the cholesterol scares you, try "egg beaters" you know, the eggs without the cholesterol.
Hey, I heard that eggs weren't as bad as they always said they were. I think it's when you do STEAK and eggs that it starts to be a problem.> Here's to pleasant dreams and sunny mornings Kat
> take care
> Tina
>Kelly - I know how it feels to be stuck in that rotten morning mode... Sorry that's going on right now...
a hug to you both, and congratulations, Tina, for making the phone call, it's the little triumphs that we also need to remember to celebrate... I raise my glass of filtered water with a slice of lemon, to you,
Wendy
Posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 18:04:13
In reply to Re: Completely understand... » tina, posted by Wendy B. on October 18, 2001, at 17:41:37
Thanks Wendy, for your responses. Please see my responses to you from before if you haven't.
Very, very bad day for me today. Can't seem to get off Topamax cpmpletey without starting to get hypomanic and just all over the place.
Tina was nice to suggest egg beaters - don't like their consistency though - must have regular, preferably free range, eggs. Can eggs be free range?
My mind is clouding already without enough stabilizing it - so I am doomed to these drugs forever, it becomes clear. (Irony...)
Ah, what a bad day...
This is the end of the thread.
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