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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Hod Putt on October 13, 2001, at 18:55:35
A public secret amongst the people who practice one kind or other of Martial Art is that the uncomfortable and embarrassing feeling of a fart coming up (down) occurs more often in the dojo that outside of it.
When the feeling is there it tends to seriously disrupt the unification of mind and body.
There are two ways that can happen. One is that you feel it coming and try to prevent it from erupting so hard that you can't concentrate on anything else, specifically the sensei or the partner you work with. This attempt to not fart will fail, as we all know. You see, after a while the second way for a fart to distort the unification of mind and body will reveal itself and that is the fart itself coming out. This always takes place when delivering a kick, punch, or during another sudden movement. This is only prevented by sitting down and not moving until very silently the methane has slipped out. But people will wonder, and then know, so the effect will be the same as farting aloud. As said before, during a motion of the body the gas will erupt in a disorderly manner, causing you to focus on the entire dojo focusing on you.
This situation is best dealt with by turning it into a learning experience. The trick is to completely ignore the fart and the effects it has on the people around you. Let the world be the world without affecting your inner peace. The ability to ignore farts is in fact one step further on the long road of unification of mind and body. The person who is able to disarm and eliminate a dangerous opponent and at the same time fart without wincing a muscle is surely a master.
Strong is the man who can fart without distorting his inner strength.
If you feel weak and do not want to bother yourself with this exercise, remember to pay attention what you eat before practice. Speaking from experience I can say that eating a sauerkraut meal beforehand will give you more chance to exercise unification of mind and body than you dreamt of.
I will at this time not go into using a fart as an assault weapon.
Roel van der Meulen
Posted by Kristi on October 13, 2001, at 19:26:50
In reply to Gas, posted by Hod Putt on October 13, 2001, at 18:55:35
You..... my dear.... are completely insane!!!!
You made me laugh... and that cant happen right now, I'm recovering from a surgery.What a nut......
> A public secret amongst the people who practice one kind or other of Martial Art is that the uncomfortable and embarrassing feeling of a fart coming up (down) occurs more often in the dojo that outside of it.
>
> When the feeling is there it tends to seriously disrupt the unification of mind and body.
>
> There are two ways that can happen. One is that you feel it coming and try to prevent it from erupting so hard that you can't concentrate on anything else, specifically the sensei or the partner you work with. This attempt to not fart will fail, as we all know. You see, after a while the second way for a fart to distort the unification of mind and body will reveal itself and that is the fart itself coming out. This always takes place when delivering a kick, punch, or during another sudden movement. This is only prevented by sitting down and not moving until very silently the methane has slipped out. But people will wonder, and then know, so the effect will be the same as farting aloud. As said before, during a motion of the body the gas will erupt in a disorderly manner, causing you to focus on the entire dojo focusing on you.
>
> This situation is best dealt with by turning it into a learning experience. The trick is to completely ignore the fart and the effects it has on the people around you. Let the world be the world without affecting your inner peace. The ability to ignore farts is in fact one step further on the long road of unification of mind and body. The person who is able to disarm and eliminate a dangerous opponent and at the same time fart without wincing a muscle is surely a master.
>
> Strong is the man who can fart without distorting his inner strength.
>
> If you feel weak and do not want to bother yourself with this exercise, remember to pay attention what you eat before practice. Speaking from experience I can say that eating a sauerkraut meal beforehand will give you more chance to exercise unification of mind and body than you dreamt of.
>
> I will at this time not go into using a fart as an assault weapon.
>
> Roel van der Meulen
Posted by dreamer on October 13, 2001, at 19:44:24
In reply to Gas, posted by Hod Putt on October 13, 2001, at 18:55:35
xcellent advice.
For a while at med school I was inspired to create a freshener that cud be easily inserted and would eradicate fowl odour thus replacing with a pleasant smell such as freshly baked bread , summer breezes a early mourn pine forest .....etc.
But the embarrassing sound would still have to be dealt with.Converting the sudden rush of gas into a soothing musical tune proved to be difficult.Also another idea I had was a tubullar device that would be flexible and hold the offensive fellow for later removal .
But after a few hours of revelry and wine a person could easily forget it's presense with catostrophic results.
So I never persued the idea further but I may recover my old sketches from the loft and who knows with the advancement of technology these days I may come up with something.Dr.Eamer .
Posted by paxvox on October 13, 2001, at 21:01:28
In reply to Re: Gas, posted by dreamer on October 13, 2001, at 19:44:24
Dreamer,
You aint right! And just today, Susan was speaking highly of you. The dark forces must have had their way with you.
But since we're on the subject of flatus, why do you think that hoop skirts were all the rage during the 19th century. And those hand fans, I mean, what's up with that? Why were there no investigations? Personally, I believe this is what led to the widely held notion (recently dispelled by JAMA) that woman, well....don't break wind. It was an unwritten fact while I was a teenager in the 70's that girls just did not fart. I've heard stories, devastating stories, of poor young lads out on car dates with girls when these offensive odors permeated the interior of the car. Being ever the gentleman, the poor young lad would have no other chivalric means than to assume the odor must have been his, and red-faced offer overflowing appologies. Not until the 1980's with the advent of catalytic converters were these young men aquited of this horrible scenario. Only now, as we enter the 21st century, have womanfolk admitted openly that the dogs were not the ones responsible either (oh the horror of the suffering of those animals! Bad Sparky, Bad boy!!). Someone owes us an apology, and could you light a match or something?
This rant is not sponsored by PAX, and he takes no responsiblity for its content, however accurate.
PAX
isobars I tell you isobars!
Posted by Phil on October 13, 2001, at 21:16:39
In reply to Re: Gas » dreamer, posted by paxvox on October 13, 2001, at 21:01:28
Y'all ever light a fart? Beautiful blue flame and a big crowd pleaser at parties. I recommend fire-proof underwear and don't light any overly extended releases.
When I was 10, I lit a fart in front of my mother-she lost it!! Laughing too hard to talk.
There's a lot of wasted unburned farts out there.
Hey, it's showbiz!
Posted by dreamer on October 13, 2001, at 21:20:58
In reply to Re: Gas » dreamer, posted by paxvox on October 13, 2001, at 21:01:28
> Dreamer,
>
> You aint right! And just today, Susan was speaking highly of you. The dark forces must have had their way with you.
>
> But since we're on the subject of flatus, why do you think that hoop skirts were all the rage during the 19th century. And those hand fans, I mean, what's up with that? Why were there no investigations? Personally, I believe this is what led to the widely held notion (recently dispelled by JAMA) that woman, well....don't break wind. It was an unwritten fact while I was a teenager in the 70's that girls just did not fart. I've heard stories, devastating stories, of poor young lads out on car dates with girls when these offensive odors permeated the interior of the car. Being ever the gentleman, the poor young lad would have no other chivalric means than to assume the odor must have been his, and red-faced offer overflowing appologies. Not until the 1980's with the advent of catalytic converters were these young men aquited of this horrible scenario. Only now, as we enter the 21st century, have womanfolk admitted openly that the dogs were not the ones responsible either (oh the horror of the suffering of those animals! Bad Sparky, Bad boy!!). Someone owes us an apology, and could you light a match or something?
>
> This rant is not sponsored by PAX, and he takes no responsiblity for its content, however accurate.
>
> PAX
> isobars I tell you isobars! >are these them fiber filled sweet snack bars?My bestest long lost friend used to release little noises below when she laughed .
Women -older from the north of england tend to do it in public and met female who just let go when she needed whilst watching tv -no appologies-I found it disgusting.
Myself only get problem in toilet even then I say oops.When my brother farted he always said..'a little bit of wisdom'
dreamer -no farting near me please.
Posted by susan C on October 13, 2001, at 22:15:44
In reply to Re: Gas » paxvox, posted by dreamer on October 13, 2001, at 21:20:58
Ok, you guys ready,
OOOPPPS, was that a fart or a mouse on a motorcycle...?
I think this is a much better topic than me talking about being a recovering parent (is that like being a recovering alchololic?)
Tho not with the accompanying odor, belches do also have the sound...I remember burping quite satisfactorily at a meal at my house with a professor and her child...she was quite taken aback...that was in the early 70's
Oh, and if not brave enough to light bodily fires, try lighting the spray from squeezing an orange peel...smells good too.
\
Body, thy temple, why doest we restrictist thou?Kristi, so good to hear you tippy tapping away, is it one handed...? best wishes to you dear.
Mouse on a motorcycle...
susan C
Posted by Wendy B. on October 13, 2001, at 22:31:33
In reply to Re: Gas, posted by Phil on October 13, 2001, at 21:16:39
> Y'all ever light a fart? Beautiful blue flame and a big crowd pleaser at parties. I recommend fire-proof underwear and don't light any overly extended releases.
> When I was 10, I lit a fart in front of my mother-she lost it!! Laughing too hard to talk.
> There's a lot of wasted unburned farts out there.
> Hey, it's showbiz!phil:
will you marry me?
wendy
Posted by Marie1 on October 14, 2001, at 9:50:16
In reply to Re: Gas » Phil, posted by Wendy B. on October 13, 2001, at 22:31:33
You guys are all hysterical!! I'm laughing so hard my family is getting concerned!
Marie
> > Y'all ever light a fart? Beautiful blue flame and a big crowd pleaser at parties. I recommend fire-proof underwear and don't light any overly extended releases.
> > When I was 10, I lit a fart in front of my mother-she lost it!! Laughing too hard to talk.
> > There's a lot of wasted unburned farts out there.
> > Hey, it's showbiz!
>
>
>
> phil:
>
> will you marry me?
>
> wendy
Posted by Phil on October 14, 2001, at 12:35:42
In reply to Re: Gas » Phil, posted by Wendy B. on October 13, 2001, at 22:31:33
> phil:
>
> will you marry me?
>
> wendy> >My horoscope for the day.."A fire hazard is worth being safe than sorry over or you'll wished you'd taken my advice."
wendy, I'll marry you but I must first ask,"Do you embarrass easily at restaurants?"
Posted by susan C on October 14, 2001, at 12:48:49
In reply to Wendy, posted by Phil on October 14, 2001, at 12:35:42
> > phil:
> >
> > will you marry me?
> >
> > wendy
>
> > >My horoscope for the day.."A fire hazard is worth being safe than sorry over or you'll wished you'd taken my advice."
>
> wendy, I'll marry you but I must first ask,"Do you embarrass easily at restaurants?""be sure and wash your hands, we are having potato chips later."
mouse under the napkin
susan C
Posted by sar on October 14, 2001, at 23:38:08
In reply to Gas, posted by Hod Putt on October 13, 2001, at 18:55:35
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hee hee...more than hee hee in reality, GUFFAW GUFFAW GUFFAW
how funny, you sillies...
Posted by Wendy B. on October 14, 2001, at 23:59:41
In reply to Wendy, posted by Phil on October 14, 2001, at 12:35:42
> > phil:
> >
> > will you marry me?
> >
> > wendy
>
> > >My horoscope for the day.."A fire hazard is worth being safe than sorry over or you'll wished you'd taken my advice."
honey, there is no "safe"... i am the fire hazard to which this little message was referring...
> wendy, I'll marry you but I must first ask,"Do you embarrass easily at restaurants?"
uhhh, what's a restaurant? (do you intend to "light up," as it were?)i don't think Kazoo is an ordained priest yet, but surely he would have to perform the ceremony...
tisk tisk, i get ahead of myself here. i must have an equally important pre-nup type of question pour toi...
oh yeah. what size is your.......
..............
..............
................... television screen?
(diagonal measurement, in inches,
.......of course...)
Posted by Cam W. on October 15, 2001, at 0:47:33
In reply to Gas, posted by Hod Putt on October 13, 2001, at 18:55:35
Better to fart,
And fart in shame;
Then grunt and groan,
And reel in pain.- Cam
Posted by tina on October 15, 2001, at 18:25:12
In reply to Re: Gas, posted by Cam W. on October 15, 2001, at 0:47:33
> Better to fart,
> And fart in shame;
> Then grunt and groan,
> And reel in pain.
>
> - Cam
This is the end of the thread.
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