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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by susan C on September 24, 2001, at 12:25:02
Hi everybody, There are so many of you to talk to I thought I would just post a note here. Last week was hell. This weekend especially yesterday, I thought things were going pretty well, then the evening hit. I just started to loose it again. This morning I feel OK, but have a friend taking me to lunch. I haven't been 'out' in a long time and found myself confused about what choice to make. Fortunately she is a long time friend and I could say to her 'oh dear, you are asking me to make decisions' (where to go, when to do it...) she said, thats ok, you decide or I will. Now I am dressed, showered.
Finally got the communication straight with hub about sorting out junk in the house (and on the deck) to make room for a place for me to do art. We gave away loads of things over the weekend...that is the hard part...I talked to hub on friday, and he said to trust him, but he forgets things too. I admit my expectations may be high, but there is that parental saying, don't make a threat you aren't willing to follow through on. Don't make a promise you aren't willing to keep. He talked about how could he know if I didnt keep telling him, and reminding him and that it wasn't nagging...but what good is it I say, If I say something over and over, and you keep having a very logical reason why it will not be done, so, I give up...this is all running into personal realtionshhip things of a long time married couple, but as I said, it reaches a point where I give up. But this weekend was kind of magic, embarrasing actually, watching all these piles of things that had been around for YEARs, go out by the little road, and people stopping and taking them away. I thought we were at a very quiet part on our road...but a lot of people passed by.
I was in the state last week were I was ready to give up, what sense is there to all of this, it just keeps coming back, go away go away I want to scream. Sometimes the good bits, like now, are painful because I am close enough to the bad bits today, I don't want to go back there. Or if I do, why can't I just stay...this going back and forth is sh**.(please pardon my french)
We reviewed (chat, hub, email, me brain and I)and here are the things that the last hypomanic/mixed episode resulted in/from:
1. I was very frightened. Because: they hadn't happened to this extent in a while (going on 5 days). Even though I am unsteady and somewhat dull, my emotions have kept relatively with in bounds (read depakote)
2. The keppra seems to work, tho very subtlely
3. This last event was longer, 5 days than last one-(one day), and longer since previous (last fall med doctor changes, many months of mess)
4. When I reviewed changes by adding keppra, I was also adding more and more things, more and more expectations...in other words, I was feeling better, thinking better, so doing better and I think I have been doing too much. I thought I would open my arms up and take it all in like I used to...now, back again to setting boundries. "I want it all, I want it all"
5. September 11. My response was delayed and I now no longer watch tv, read news, nor as much as I would like to give you all support, posts which refer to it.
6. During this time, I realized, again, I cannot watch movies where women, children, men, people animals are hurt, or the portrayals of conflict are serious...I have to stop the movie, leave the room, say, I can not have this image in my brain. Therefore the post for silly movies...which I really, really, really, appreciate the responses.
7. I finished watching 'a fish called Wanda', "what was that third one again?"Thank you for listening. I am going to sort paperclips and maybe go to england and throw pots with dreamer. Then I will canoe on a lake with willow, investigate odd nachos with horsechestnuts with jane, put my nose in a dictionary with paxvox, unplug computers with greg, compare pencil collections with kiddo, go shopping for a new jacket with kid a, toss pizza in the air with mila, go to one of those take-youur portait with your head inserted above the old time dress body with Kristi, turn purple with sar, make confetti with krazy for our own parade, Hope cam has a soda fountain at this new mom and pop and invite mitch, stjames, Kazoo, Phil, Wendy, tina, marie, geekuk, roo, tridit, lostsailor, ceilia, fluffykitty, afatchic, akc, Sal4me, elizabeth, and everybody else to have chocolate icecream sodas, and sundaes and root beer floats. We will stand around and put sticky finger prints on the windows and giggle at the 'intimites' supply section. And make a selection in the candy rack for something to save for later.
Mouse in an empty playground
Mighty Mouse's outfit is in the wash
sc
Posted by Kristi on September 24, 2001, at 12:38:55
In reply to Mouse on a Swing, posted by susan C on September 24, 2001, at 12:25:02
Hi Jane.. I'm sorry about your hell week.... nice to see you've kept your sense of humor.... boy, that last paragraph had me cracking up, I haven't laughed like that in a long time!!!!! Thanks.
More later about you.... I must try and get some sleep, I haven't been to bed yet, can't seem to turn off my brain.
A laughter of mice,
Kristi> Hi everybody, There are so many of you to talk to I thought I would just post a note here. Last week was hell. This weekend especially yesterday, I thought things were going pretty well, then the evening hit. I just started to loose it again. This morning I feel OK, but have a friend taking me to lunch. I haven't been 'out' in a long time and found myself confused about what choice to make. Fortunately she is a long time friend and I could say to her 'oh dear, you are asking me to make decisions' (where to go, when to do it...) she said, thats ok, you decide or I will. Now I am dressed, showered.
>
> Finally got the communication straight with hub about sorting out junk in the house (and on the deck) to make room for a place for me to do art. We gave away loads of things over the weekend...that is the hard part...I talked to hub on friday, and he said to trust him, but he forgets things too. I admit my expectations may be high, but there is that parental saying, don't make a threat you aren't willing to follow through on. Don't make a promise you aren't willing to keep. He talked about how could he know if I didnt keep telling him, and reminding him and that it wasn't nagging...but what good is it I say, If I say something over and over, and you keep having a very logical reason why it will not be done, so, I give up...this is all running into personal realtionshhip things of a long time married couple, but as I said, it reaches a point where I give up. But this weekend was kind of magic, embarrasing actually, watching all these piles of things that had been around for YEARs, go out by the little road, and people stopping and taking them away. I thought we were at a very quiet part on our road...but a lot of people passed by.
>
> I was in the state last week were I was ready to give up, what sense is there to all of this, it just keeps coming back, go away go away I want to scream. Sometimes the good bits, like now, are painful because I am close enough to the bad bits today, I don't want to go back there. Or if I do, why can't I just stay...this going back and forth is sh**.(please pardon my french)
>
> We reviewed (chat, hub, email, me brain and I)and here are the things that the last hypomanic/mixed episode resulted in/from:
> 1. I was very frightened. Because: they hadn't happened to this extent in a while (going on 5 days). Even though I am unsteady and somewhat dull, my emotions have kept relatively with in bounds (read depakote)
> 2. The keppra seems to work, tho very subtlely
> 3. This last event was longer, 5 days than last one-(one day), and longer since previous (last fall med doctor changes, many months of mess)
> 4. When I reviewed changes by adding keppra, I was also adding more and more things, more and more expectations...in other words, I was feeling better, thinking better, so doing better and I think I have been doing too much. I thought I would open my arms up and take it all in like I used to...now, back again to setting boundries. "I want it all, I want it all"
> 5. September 11. My response was delayed and I now no longer watch tv, read news, nor as much as I would like to give you all support, posts which refer to it.
> 6. During this time, I realized, again, I cannot watch movies where women, children, men, people animals are hurt, or the portrayals of conflict are serious...I have to stop the movie, leave the room, say, I can not have this image in my brain. Therefore the post for silly movies...which I really, really, really, appreciate the responses.
> 7. I finished watching 'a fish called Wanda', "what was that third one again?"
>
> Thank you for listening. I am going to sort paperclips and maybe go to england and throw pots with dreamer. Then I will canoe on a lake with willow, investigate odd nachos with horsechestnuts with jane, put my nose in a dictionary with paxvox, unplug computers with greg, compare pencil collections with kiddo, go shopping for a new jacket with kid a, toss pizza in the air with mila, go to one of those take-youur portait with your head inserted above the old time dress body with Kristi, turn purple with sar, make confetti with krazy for our own parade, Hope cam has a soda fountain at this new mom and pop and invite mitch, stjames, Kazoo, Phil, Wendy, tina, marie, geekuk, roo, tridit, lostsailor, ceilia, fluffykitty, afatchic, akc, Sal4me, elizabeth, and everybody else to have chocolate icecream sodas, and sundaes and root beer floats. We will stand around and put sticky finger prints on the windows and giggle at the 'intimites' supply section. And make a selection in the candy rack for something to save for later.
> Mouse in an empty playground
> Mighty Mouse's outfit is in the wash
> sc
Posted by dreamer on September 24, 2001, at 14:56:50
In reply to Re: Mouse on a Swing » susan C, posted by Kristi on September 24, 2001, at 12:38:55
Posted by Krazy Kat on September 24, 2001, at 17:00:58
In reply to Mouse on a Swing, posted by susan C on September 24, 2001, at 12:25:02
Posted by paxvox on September 25, 2001, at 11:27:10
In reply to Mouse on a Swing, posted by susan C on September 24, 2001, at 12:25:02
Susan, for someone "unable to make a lunch decision", you wrote one of the more eloquent epitaphs I have read of late. Maybe,just may be that glass is half full afterall! OK, I have another movie for you that is a "feel good" movie. Doc Hollywood with Michael J.Fox. Nice little flick. I'll keep my dictionary handy in the meanwhile.
PAX
Posted by susan C on September 25, 2001, at 16:18:47
In reply to Re: Mouse on a Swing » susan C, posted by paxvox on September 25, 2001, at 11:27:10
Thanks,Everyone,paxvox, Attention and hugs and flattery will get you everywhere.
Paxvox, but isn't an epitaph something you write on your tombstone...Dolens et maerens filieis fecit sueis.(??8:o))...I found that and have NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS...lol. Now you will have to translate...
And thanks for the movie suggestion.
Tonight is Something About Mary.
Last night was Superstar...if you want to know what my life was like, 12-16years old, watch just the beginning scenes of that movie...I didn't have googles, a skirt on my suit, nor did I wear my glasses in the pool, oh, and I am not catholic. Oh, and put the pool indoors. The rest of the movie was awkward and embarrassing, but funny none the less. The opening scenes had me rounding up son and hub with me saying, "this was my LIFE!!!!"
BTW, one of the reasons I can make sense here is typing is slower and can allow for revision, where talking can't..blah.
Let's see, am I done yet, can I hit the 'submit' button?
Thanks for all the kinds words, everyone.
Mouse with fresh apples
Susan C> Susan, for someone "unable to make a lunch decision", you wrote one of the more eloquent epitaphs I have read of late. Maybe,just may be that glass is half full afterall! OK, I have another movie for you that is a "feel good" movie. Doc Hollywood with Michael J.Fox. Nice little flick. I'll keep my dictionary handy in the meanwhile.
>
> PAX
This is the end of the thread.
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