Psycho-Babble Social Thread 10777

Shown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Under-reaction

Posted by paxvox on September 4, 2001, at 12:22:29

OK, so I've learned at least one trick the past few weeks from counselling (context: I really have not found counselling effective for me in 10 years)and that is..............under-react. Yes, it's that simple! When someone tries to get my fur up (which is not terribly hard to do)and that is their intent, I have discovered to ....well....not react. This seems so elementary, I know. But for me, I have always been likely to fall into the trap and take the bait. This is especially effective with teenagers, or those with teenage emotions. Turn the other cheek, so to speak. I have gotten out of two otherwise untenable situations by NOT doing anything. If you wish, I will expound.

Cheers to all,


PAX

 

Re: Under-reaction

Posted by susan C on September 4, 2001, at 13:50:00

In reply to Under-reaction, posted by paxvox on September 4, 2001, at 12:22:29

Ok I will take the bait. but how do you draw the line 'tween overreacting and smothering your feelings of irritation and making a point....

Susan C.
(mighty mouse just rescued a little kitten)

> OK, so I've learned at least one trick the past few weeks from counselling (context: I really have not found counselling effective for me in 10 years)and that is..............under-react. Yes, it's that simple! When someone tries to get my fur up (which is not terribly hard to do)and that is their intent, I have discovered to ....well....not react. This seems so elementary, I know. But for me, I have always been likely to fall into the trap and take the bait. This is especially effective with teenagers, or those with teenage emotions. Turn the other cheek, so to speak. I have gotten out of two otherwise untenable situations by NOT doing anything. If you wish, I will expound.
>
> Cheers to all,
>
>
> PAX

 

Re: Under-reaction ยป paxvox

Posted by sar on September 4, 2001, at 14:58:25

In reply to Under-reaction, posted by paxvox on September 4, 2001, at 12:22:29

i think Lao Tsu would applaud this.

 

Re: Under-reaction

Posted by paxvox on September 5, 2001, at 7:45:35

In reply to Re: Under-reaction, posted by susan C on September 4, 2001, at 13:50:00

I didn't say it was EASY, Susan, just efficacious.
I guess the best parallel I can think of is "turn the other cheek" as many times as necessary. Perhaps it works along the same theory of the bully principle i.e. when you ignore the taunts of a bully, they soon tire of bullying you because they don't get the reaction they need for their own self-affirmation. Same would apply to a teenager doing something like getting her tongue pierced because she knows it would piss daddy off. Had I hit the roof (first reaction) she would have succeeded, however, I said "hey, what other colors do those come in? And make sure you wash it out right to avoid infection." I was REALLY thinking, "you idiot"! I guess there is a point where one must draw a line (though Ghandi would probably say there is no limit). I guess when "self" becomes less important because of altruistic reasons, there is some reward. Sort of like giving a gift, but giving it anonymously. If your reason for giving was to receive "praise" from the recipient, the motive was not pure. Does that make any sense?

PAX


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