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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by dreamer on September 1, 2001, at 19:38:22
This buried alive feeling with no coffin.The weirdest thing to feel this ill yet be horny at the same time it's beyond logic. Crying, and some drunk ringing my door buzzer forgotten a key. Hopeless , feeling of decay inside my body. Lethargic and lost.
I know it passes but how to pass the time with this heavy struggle and to eradicate this negativity.
I remember what Kazoo said in one post about moving a grain of sand playing a small part in the universe the wonder of it all- something like the butterfly's wings effect of the chaos theory?
Difficult to find a wonder.My first conscious thought as a very small child was get me out of here.
Then I'd xperience a wonder a euphoric moment that I would try to hold onto; the kid at the back of the classroom always laughing too much foolin around for a while/months, then dead silence withdrawal into the grave that seemed forever.
Bloody miserable and dreamless.
Posted by Krazy Kat on September 1, 2001, at 20:13:20
In reply to beware! a miserable post :-( , posted by dreamer on September 1, 2001, at 19:38:22
> dreamer,
it's so heavy, isn't it? i'm still not up to being the least bit eloquent, so forgive my bastarding of the english language, and my simplistic phrasing.
sounds like you feel trapped often, like i do? do you have any energy now to get outside, to smoke, even if you don't usually, or walk around the block, especially in something outlandish? to somehow rebel against it?
i don't know if you work outside of your home, if that "forces" you out or not. but i was stuck inside my house for weeks because of my last depression, and i just got sicker, and sicker...
but, if it's like what i went through, then probably not. the horniness is good! you are still in touch with something primal, like having an appetite, or thirst.
If you know how to pass the time, how to out-wait it, you are far beyond me.
It is so heavy, though, isn't it?
- K.
Posted by dreamer on September 1, 2001, at 20:26:16
In reply to Re: beware! a miserable post :-( , posted by Krazy Kat on September 1, 2001, at 20:13:20
sleeping beaut sleepin 4 england and beyond.
The meds help somewhat. I'll live 2 post another day, looks like a full moon and I'm getting hairy and have the urge to howl.
dreamerebel.
Posted by dreamer on September 1, 2001, at 20:30:52
In reply to Re: beware! a miserable post :-( , posted by Krazy Kat on September 1, 2001, at 20:13:20
Posted by Krazy Kat on September 1, 2001, at 20:31:31
In reply to Re: I'm going 2 sleep again ? » Krazy Kat , posted by dreamer on September 1, 2001, at 20:26:16
run, dreamerebel, run...
Posted by sar on September 2, 2001, at 1:08:54
In reply to beware! a miserable post :-( , posted by dreamer on September 1, 2001, at 19:38:22
dear dreamer,
i felt like that consistently for 6 months awhile ago--the only things that made me feel human were eating, sleeping, drinking, fucking, and drugs. in hindsight i feel like i wanted sex all the time to feel real and simple. just to feel something purely good, something to make ya sweat instead of catatonically staring at the ceiling...do become really somatic at your lowest? (concentrating on eating, sleeping, sex, etc). my theory is that the body is fighting for life...
have you ever read any charles bukowski? your first memory sounds alot like his in *ham on rye* which is peddled as fiction but is largely autobiographical. he is my favorite writer and i think you might like him.
how do you feel after 16 hrs sleep? how do you feel after 8 or 9?
yr posts are so neetly poetic, keep 'em comin, love...
sar
Posted by dreamer on September 2, 2001, at 3:24:25
In reply to Re: beware! a miserable post :-( » dreamer, posted by sar on September 2, 2001, at 1:08:54
> how do you feel after 16 hrs sleep? how do you feel after 8 or 9?
Always feel better when I get insomnia .
Lately trying to get an orgasm is impossible usually fall asleep after a xtremely active 2++++ hoursThanks 4 book recommendation unfortunately I cannot maintain concentration whilst reading been this way for years.
Whats a girl to do?....... Wait it out. Sleep it out.
dreamless.
Posted by sar on September 2, 2001, at 7:30:41
In reply to Re: :-( » sar, posted by dreamer on September 2, 2001, at 3:24:25
well hey then, what's a gal to do? good on ya for having a great 2 hours anyway.
(i can relate somewhat. finally i find someone i really really like and prozac is messing my sex drive up, or messing up my sexual functioning a bit.)
i know what you mean about reading. charles bukowski though, if you'll just trust me, is the bread and butter of literature for the depressed. i can't read anything, i always get drunk instead. but bukowski, i can read. he's not depressing, he's funny, he's just an honest messy sloppy gamblin drunk who could write his ass off. i don't wanna push him on you, just know that he comes highly recommended.
sleep it out if that's what helps. i was a little concerned because in my experience, sleeping that much is a sign of severe depression and never made me feel better--but we're 2 different people; i'm a sleeper myself, so i can see how 16 hrs might be refreshing.
right now i'm awake after 5 hrs sleep, finishing off a six-pack, totally surprised i couldn't finish it last night. i fell asleep! how girlie--
take care, dreamer...
sar
Posted by Marie1 on September 2, 2001, at 8:51:52
In reply to beware! a miserable post :-( , posted by dreamer on September 1, 2001, at 19:38:22
Dreamer,
Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your posts. I usually don't respond because, well, what is there to say in the presence of such eloquence? You have a magnificent way with words; I really admire that. Thank you.
Marie
Posted by dreamer on September 2, 2001, at 10:34:28
In reply to Re: beware! a miserable post :-( , posted by Marie1 on September 2, 2001, at 8:51:52
> Dreamer,
> Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your posts. I usually don't respond because, well, what is there to say in the presence of such eloquence? You have a magnificent way with words; I really admire that. Thank you.
> MarieI've blushed.......please respond in the future Marie....blush....you know in the real world I fumble for words till I give up and I'm usually incomprehensible , a social retard.
dreamer-shy.
This is the end of the thread.
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