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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 1 of 1. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by AKC on August 4, 2001, at 18:32:39
It really is. When I am resorting on a Saturday evening to posting several messages to an internet board. I'm very restless. My stomach goes from nausea to hungry and so forth -- my body from energy to no energy to flu like -- its med related, I'm convinced, but my pdoc is on vacation (without my permission! < grin >).
I'm now feeling totally, completely, absolutely alone. It's bad when you post on a board and even then feel alone. Heavy sigh. Not depressed -- no, the meds are doing their job. So I get to sit with the real me - and that is kinda scary, because I don't know me very well and there are some things I don't really like. The one that 5 years of out-of-control damage has created. The one that is slowly building a life - learning how to live again. But it is a slow process. Sometimes so slow, I don't know if I can wait. I can't speed it along, but it is hard to sit alone like I am tonight. My best friend is on her way to Michigan, or I would give her a call. I'm just restless. I'm tired of not having someone to share this life with -- and I'm not talking about friends -- I'm talking about that special one -- that intimate relationship that I see others having -- something I have never had, am scared I never will. And this is not even about sex (meds have killed that completely) -- it is about having someone to hold me right now when I am feeling so alone.
God, I am getting teary -- that is definitely not normal. I gotta get a life. This morose one I am leading sucks.
A sad hounddog.
This is the end of the thread.
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