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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Gremmy on July 17, 2001, at 20:21:32
I have been experiencing for the past 3 yrs. now a person that is visable to me and touches me. I know he's not there, and I get violent and I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have cut myself. I recognize this person as someone I used to work around when I was an EMT for an ambulance company we both worked at. He was a jerk in real life and I can't understand why this is happening to me. I don't like being touched,pinched by other men and this is exactly what I perceive is happening to me and it has been effecting my whole being. Driving has even become a bad time, this crap comes on when I drive and turns me into an angry driver who only by some grace of God I haven't been in or caused a serious accident.
I am still an EMT, I work at a mental health urgent care and I try to keep hidden this torture that is happening to me.
Sometimes I can't sleep, my family has said that they have heard me say violent things at night, I have stabbed and slashed so many things to work out this anger that I have to keep buying new stuff and having to hide the damage I did to the other. A doctor put me on an anti-depressant "Zoloft" which I didn't like and quit taking. I am now on a weight loss med called "Meridia" which can be somewhat of an anti-depressant, but it's not helping me with this at all, only losing some weight which has been the only thing lately to make me happy. I have been suicidal,but I do not have the "guts" as it were to actually go through with it, I guess I fear Hell more than this so I just keep going along and cutting myself and other things. To tell ya the truth, if I actually saw this person and he were to touch me I would lose all sanity,if I haven't already, and I know I would kill him easily just like that. I have literally snapped at friends that have pinched me, going from easy going-funny guy to Dr. Jeckyl in a milli-second. I scare and worry myself, I don't know what to do anymore.
Posted by Anna Laura on July 18, 2001, at 4:33:36
In reply to aud/vis. halucinations???, posted by Gremmy on July 17, 2001, at 20:21:32
> I have been experiencing for the past 3 yrs. now a person that is visable to me and touches me. I know he's not there, and I get violent and I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have cut myself. I recognize this person as someone I used to work around when I was an EMT for an ambulance company we both worked at. He was a jerk in real life and I can't understand why this is happening to me. I don't like being touched,pinched by other men and this is exactly what I perceive is happening to me and it has been effecting my whole being. Driving has even become a bad time, this crap comes on when I drive and turns me into an angry driver who only by some grace of God I haven't been in or caused a serious accident.
> I am still an EMT, I work at a mental health urgent care and I try to keep hidden this torture that is happening to me.
> Sometimes I can't sleep, my family has said that they have heard me say violent things at night, I have stabbed and slashed so many things to work out this anger that I have to keep buying new stuff and having to hide the damage I did to the other. A doctor put me on an anti-depressant "Zoloft" which I didn't like and quit taking. I am now on a weight loss med called "Meridia" which can be somewhat of an anti-depressant, but it's not helping me with this at all, only losing some weight which has been the only thing lately to make me happy. I have been suicidal,but I do not have the "guts" as it were to actually go through with it, I guess I fear Hell more than this so I just keep going along and cutting myself and other things. To tell ya the truth, if I actually saw this person and he were to touch me I would lose all sanity,if I haven't already, and I know I would kill him easily just like that. I have literally snapped at friends that have pinched me, going from easy going-funny guy to Dr. Jeckyl in a milli-second. I scare and worry myself, I don't know what to do anymore.Hi Gremmy,
I don't know you well enough to give you the right advice, and everybody is different. So i just can tell you what has been useful for me.
First: good thing you're aware of having/allucinations etc.... i've been psychotic my self and awareness saved me from the jaws of total madness.
Second: i was violent too. One night i destroied a car that was parked near me. I had do do it, otherwise i'd become a killer. Did you try your best to control your rage? I remember it was counter-productive (my anxiety grew worse when i got angry, moreover, rage is like a fire: the more angry you get, the more it grows, the more you can't control it).
1. Try to give yourself a spare place inside of you for positive feelings, like love and friendship: they can be powerful channels trough which you might find a "way out"; try to expand those areas: they are very useful and very potent antidotes against "madness" and discomfort.
2. Find a good therapist, a person you feel comfortable with.
3. Find the right medication, something that won't sedate you too much but that works.
4. Perhaps you'd benefit from a cognitive-behavioural therapy to control your rage.That's it, hope it helped you just a little bit....
Posted by judy1 on July 18, 2001, at 7:46:40
In reply to aud/vis. halucinations???, posted by Gremmy on July 17, 2001, at 20:21:32
I think Anna Laura gave you excellent advice, I, too, have experienced hallucinations and been aware that's what they were. My questions to you are- have you been completely honest with your psychiatrist? If not, just printing out this post and handing it to him/her would really help. Once medical causes were ruled out in my case (brain tumor, epilepsy- actually that's an ongoing one for me, and other conditions that can cause hallucinations) than the proper medication needs to be given (and an AD is not the right one). I've been helped by 2 of the atypical AP's- risperdal and zyprexa, but there are others that may be helpful to you. You sound miserable, and there is no reason for you to continue to feel so bad. I wish you all the best- judy
Posted by Gremmy on July 18, 2001, at 12:00:39
In reply to Re: aud/vis. halucinations???, posted by Anna Laura on July 18, 2001, at 4:33:36
> > I have been experiencing for the past 3 yrs. now a person that is visable to me and touches me. I know he's not there, and I get violent and I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have cut myself. I recognize this person as someone I used to work around when I was an EMT for an ambulance company we both worked at. He was a jerk in real life and I can't understand why this is happening to me. I don't like being touched,pinched by other men and this is exactly what I perceive is happening to me and it has been effecting my whole being. Driving has even become a bad time, this crap comes on when I drive and turns me into an angry driver who only by some grace of God I haven't been in or caused a serious accident.
> > I am still an EMT, I work at a mental health urgent care and I try to keep hidden this torture that is happening to me.
> > Sometimes I can't sleep, my family has said that they have heard me say violent things at night, I have stabbed and slashed so many things to work out this anger that I have to keep buying new stuff and having to hide the damage I did to the other. A doctor put me on an anti-depressant "Zoloft" which I didn't like and quit taking. I am now on a weight loss med called "Meridia" which can be somewhat of an anti-depressant, but it's not helping me with this at all, only losing some weight which has been the only thing lately to make me happy. I have been suicidal,but I do not have the "guts" as it were to actually go through with it, I guess I fear Hell more than this so I just keep going along and cutting myself and other things. To tell ya the truth, if I actually saw this person and he were to touch me I would lose all sanity,if I haven't already, and I know I would kill him easily just like that. I have literally snapped at friends that have pinched me, going from easy going-funny guy to Dr. Jeckyl in a milli-second. I scare and worry myself, I don't know what to do anymore.
>
> Hi Gremmy,
>
> I don't know you well enough to give you the right advice, and everybody is different. So i just can tell you what has been useful for me.
> First: good thing you're aware of having/allucinations etc.... i've been psychotic my self and awareness saved me from the jaws of total madness.
> Second: i was violent too. One night i destroied a car that was parked near me. I had do do it, otherwise i'd become a killer. Did you try your best to control your rage? I remember it was counter-productive (my anxiety grew worse when i got angry, moreover, rage is like a fire: the more angry you get, the more it grows, the more you can't control it).
>
>
> 1. Try to give yourself a spare place inside of you for positive feelings, like love and friendship: they can be powerful channels trough which you might find a "way out"; try to expand those areas: they are very useful and very potent antidotes against "madness" and discomfort.
> 2. Find a good therapist, a person you feel comfortable with.
> 3. Find the right medication, something that won't sedate you too much but that works.
> 4. Perhaps you'd benefit from a cognitive-behavioural therapy to control your rage.
>
> That's it, hope it helped you just a little bit....Thank you both for your replies =0)
Does anyone know of a good therapist in the Phx. Az area ??? I have health ins. so I hope that I should be able to find a good person.
Thanks again, I hope all is well with you =0)
- Gremmy
This is the end of the thread.
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