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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JennyR on June 26, 2001, at 10:00:28
I was once a little late for a therapy appointment, so upon arrival, I bumped into someone leaving who I recognized. She seemed to not notice me. But I frequently see her at the other place I know her from, and feel like I hate her, because she shares my therapist. I feel ridiculous to feel this way, like a jealous child. Now people who know her happen to have told me things about her life. So now I feel badly for hating her becasue she's had her share of problems, but then I also picture my therapist being all kind and sympathetic to her, and I get very jealous. Like a little kid. And I even get a little mad, in my own head, at my therapist, who has done absolutely nothing wrong. Obviously he cannot survive seeing just me, obviously he sees many other people. But when they were anonymous people I didn't care.
I feel like a stupid baby for feeling all this. But when I'm with my therapist it feels great, the rapport is so wonderful, that I hate to picture him being that way to her or other people. It feels like he's cheating on me. I guess it's because the nature of the therapeutic relationship fosters feelings of closeness and intimacy, and in real life people you are close and intimate aren't going around being that way with a lot of other people. But emotionally, I struggle with this even though I know it is irrational. Anyone have similar experiences or thoughts on this?
Posted by Willow on June 26, 2001, at 11:05:11
In reply to Bumped into someone at therapist's office, posted by JennyR on June 26, 2001, at 10:00:28
My best friend went to the same therapist. Oooh, yeah I know what you're talking about.
She just went several times and when she stopped then I was upset that he didn't say yeah "Willow" how do feel about not coming anymore, I don't think you need my services.
Screaming Willow
Posted by yo-wazzzup on June 26, 2001, at 15:14:01
In reply to Re: Bumped into someone at therapist's office, posted by Willow on June 26, 2001, at 11:05:11
Maybe it's not jealousy? (maybe it is) Maybe, on some level you fear the info. divulged to your therapist may be transfered to this woman & she'll gossip to those u both know? But, maybe it is jealousy, the type u feel when u consider someone a close friend & confide in them & as time goes by s/he may start dividing time with some one else. Hmm. as I type it makes sense...Like dating someone, for instance. ahh, I'm just babbling & probably not making sense 2 anyone else. But, it works in my mind. I think your feelings are just part of human nature?!?
Posted by Diane J. on June 26, 2001, at 17:46:01
In reply to Re: Bumped into someone at therapist's office, posted by yo-wazzzup on June 26, 2001, at 15:14:01
I used to want my ex-therapist to like me the best. But you know that saying, "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it?" My ex-therapist made at least 4 telephone calls on my supposed behalf to people who were in my life at the time (a teacher, co-worker, etc.). She did this without my informed consent. She may have had good intentions, but it was wrong for her to have done it. This is a big reason why she is my "ex-therapist."
I think it is perfectly normal for you to feel the way you do about your therapist. It's hard though, because your feelings may seem confusing since you're an adult. I think there is a way you can look at it that might help. I was once told that the patients are sort of like the therapist's children. The therapist, like a mom or a dad, has plenty of love or unconditional positive regard or empathy or whatever you want to call it for all of his patients. But he or she can't have favorites! They are all important to the therapist. The therapist wants the best for all his patients.
Sincerely,
Diane J.
> Maybe it's not jealousy? (maybe it is) Maybe, on some level you fear the info. divulged to your therapist may be transfered to this woman & she'll gossip to those u both know? But, maybe it is jealousy, the type u feel when u consider someone a close friend & confide in them & as time goes by s/he may start dividing time with some one else. Hmm. as I type it makes sense...Like dating someone, for instance. ahh, I'm just babbling & probably not making sense 2 anyone else. But, it works in my mind. I think your feelings are just part of human nature?!?
Posted by Button on June 29, 2001, at 18:52:06
In reply to Bumped into someone at therapist's office, posted by JennyR on June 26, 2001, at 10:00:28
Jenny,
You should get and read a book "In Session - The Bond Between Women and Their Therapists" by Deborah Lott. It's one of those books that will make you think the author read your mind. It really helped me to understand my feelings, and I have even begun to talk to my therapist some about it, and it seems to make my therapy even better to have everything out on the table. Unfortunately, there are apparently some therapists that can't handle discussions of this type, which is a shame. I thank God every day for the care He has provided me in the form of my therapist (a pastoral counselor). I hope you can get this book and maybe eventually talk this out.
Good luck!
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