![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Rzip on May 11, 2001, at 15:33:49
I was delighted find a message from my therapist upon returning home this afternoon. In that message, he validated that the unforseenable event that forced him to cancel our Thursday appointment was that he was given an award last night. So, he had to attend the award dinner, and he was only informed of this honor earlier this week. As a result, that pushed back his client appointments. I am just glad to know that I was justified in feeling upset and frustrated over all this. He is going to call me back later this evening and help me bring closure and personal growth to all this. So, all is good and well. Now, I can really move up and onward with my life's agenda. Farewell and Best Wishes to all and to all a good night!
Posted by Doo on May 11, 2001, at 22:32:13
In reply to Therapist update...all is well, posted by Rzip on May 11, 2001, at 15:33:49
This is respectful of him to call you to talk about all this.
I just saw a concert, kind of modern rock music with violas. It was good, but I feel bad these days, I feel a very strange, intense tension, it may be because I'm adjusting meds. But I feel bad. The concert was distracting anyways.
I'm all so self-destructive. I gotta fight to breathe. I realize I have to learn to be a fighter if I want to survive in such a cruel world. All the cruel things we humans do, especially to mother nature, they affect me so much since I was a kid. I feel all my energy's going inwards and hurting me. I gotta find a way to express the pain I feel. That gigantic pain I feel.
Well, had to let that out. I wish you all a good night/day/whatever.
Doo
Posted by kazoo on May 12, 2001, at 1:00:12
In reply to Therapist update...all is well, posted by Rzip on May 11, 2001, at 15:33:49
> I am just glad to know that I was justified in feeling upset and frustrated over all this.
Let me see if I understand this drama correctly: after learning the truth and the reasons as to why your therapist was unable to see you, you *still* feel anger and frustration, and justifying your hard feelings expressed in your first post? I would think it would be the other way around. Shouldn't you feel RELIEVED upon learning there were logical, not to mention HUMAN, reasons why he broke those appointments? Or do you feel that your therapist has a personal/professional obligation to tell you about everything he does, and where he goes?
Do you think that you might have become a little too dependent on this guy? I base this on your long-winded, but articulate, first posting which went on and on and on about how terrible it was that this man should act like a human being sometimes. He's not perfect. You took his absence as a personal affrontry and insult. With good and effective therapy, there should be no personal transference any kind. He can't read your mind any more than you can his.
I am sure he is a good therapist for you and you should stay with it, but I feel you may be asking (or demanding) for something he can't give.
kazoo
Posted by sar on May 12, 2001, at 1:46:01
In reply to Re: Therapist update all is well...but for whom? » Rzip, posted by kazoo on May 12, 2001, at 1:00:12
I've got to say, kazoo, that I disagree. Rzip was completely justified in feeling upset at having been jerked around so much--I don't think (s)he (Rzip, what gender are you?) was implying that the therp shouldn't have a private life, but raher, that the therp should be more reliable *and* more considerate of his patients' feelings! Three rescheduled appts & I would've been p*ssed too!
Rzip's message may have been highly detailed, but I understood this as wanting to explain the entire (confused) situation as clearly & objectively as possible.
Or course there were "HUMAN" and "logical" reasons the appointments were broken, but what kind of therp deserves a professional award if this is the way he treats his patients???
sar
Posted by stjames on May 12, 2001, at 11:37:21
In reply to Re: Therapist update all is well...but for whom? » kazoo, posted by sar on May 12, 2001, at 1:46:01
>
> Or course there were "HUMAN" and "logical" reasons the appointments were broken, but what kind of therp deserves a professional award if this is the way he treats his patients???
>
> sarjames here....
To me it sounds like this theripist treats the patients well. I agree with kazoo, this was a drama with unreasonable expectations placed on the doc.
James
Posted by Rzip on May 12, 2001, at 14:56:07
In reply to Therapist update...all is well, posted by Rzip on May 11, 2001, at 15:33:49
My therapist DID not call me last night :-( I am very sad.
Thank you for all your comments. I would also like to hear from a therapist point of view, through. Wasn't there a psychologist who posted on PB-administration a while back?
I know you are all thinking that I am such a baby, so dependent on my therapist. Wanting my every whim satisfied. While that might be true, I also feel like it is not fair that I put such willpower into pulling myself away from my obsessions of other people in order to focus my energy more productively on this therapist. I mean realistically, I probably set myself up for this fall. Still, this is hard! Working on a relationship (even with a therapist) is hard. I am halfway thinking this is all my fault, and thinking that this all stinks. It is amazing how much energy gets drained with all this. I am sleepy all the time. I do not want to think any longer. So there. It is stupid to wait for my therapist to call also. Why should he have such an influence on me? It is stupid and pointless to leave endless messages on his voicemail also. I don't want to work on this any longer. But he really is a good therapist. Deep down inside, I think that he can really help me if I let him (that's a paraphrase from the person who referred me to him). So now the question is how do I let him help me. This is so hard. I already left a "million" messages on his answering machine. He can not exactly sit glued to the phone. I can, but then that is not an healthy habit. He wanted to touch base with last night. But he did not. Why do they use the term "touch base". It sounds so military. I don't want to whine and pout any longer, which is what I have been doing both to myself and over the phone in the messages that I left. But I can not exactly stop either. I probably should get away from this computer also. But then I'll just end up lying on my bed. Not good. Hmm...what to do? I suppose I could just be patient and wait for him to call me, as I am sure he would. That seems to be the logical thing to do. But my mind is not very coherent, so it is a bit hard to think clearly. I must have a lot of dyfunctional neurotransmission in my CNS. Too much, too little. Up-regulate; down-regulate. Hey, I still have my humor. That is definitely something that my therapist has taught me well. He is a very kind and witty guy. He always makes me smile. I like him very very much. In general, our sessions have been very special and glowing. He always make me smile, even just thinking about him. I have a special crush on him. Sometimes, he mocks me -- I do not always like that. He is very devoted to his profession. He really is a very good therapist. Hmm... I miss him a great deal. I think not being able to see him last week is probably at the root of all this. I miss him :-( By his own admissions, he has green eyes. How many people do you know that has green eyes. I want to see him very much. I know that if he could talk to me now, his soothing voice would be enough to calm and reassure me. I do not know why I am such a sensitive person, but I am. That's all for now.
Rzip
Posted by Rzip on May 12, 2001, at 16:45:13
In reply to Re: Therapist update...all is NOT well, posted by Rzip on May 12, 2001, at 14:56:07
My therapist called. I am happy and relieved again. Choa!
Posted by JennyR on May 17, 2001, at 16:48:00
In reply to My spirit has been lifted!, posted by Rzip on May 12, 2001, at 16:45:13
I just want to tell you that it is very normal to feel the sorts of things you describe. I don't think anyone can understand who has not been through the experience of really clicking with a therapist and all the attachment that comes with that. It takes on proportions that loom large. It's the nature of that particular strange arrangement - you spill your guts, you confide, you feel like it's very special. And then they have a lot of power over you and you can be very sensitive to little things - good (like praise) or bad (perceived insensitivity). I've been through some of these, and talking it out, however painful, has always resolved it. The part I think you therapist did do wrong is that when it came to the last rescheduling, the fact that he had given your regular time away is kind of messed up. We get kind of attached to our regular times, and it does feel like a slight if they give it to someone else. If your therapist is really a good one, then bringing up your reactions to the whole thing is important and should get dealt with sensitively.
Posted by hon on May 19, 2001, at 10:57:27
In reply to Re: Therapist update all is well...but for whom? » Rzip, posted by kazoo on May 12, 2001, at 1:00:12
> > I am just glad to know that I was justified in feeling upset and frustrated over all this.
>
> Let me see if I understand this drama correctly: after learning the truth and the reasons as to why your therapist was unable to see you, you *still* feel anger and frustration, and justifying your hard feelings expressed in your first post? I would think it would be the other way around. Shouldn't you feel RELIEVED upon learning there were logical, not to mention HUMAN, reasons why he broke those appointments? Or do you feel that your therapist has a personal/professional obligation to tell you about everything he does, and where he goes?
>
> Do you think that you might have become a little too dependent on this guy? I base this on your long-winded, but articulate, first posting which went on and on and on about how terrible it was that this man should act like a human being sometimes. He's not perfect. You took his absence as a personal affrontry and insult. With good and effective therapy, there should be no personal transference any kind. He can't read your mind any more than you can his.
>
> I am sure he is a good therapist for you and you should stay with it, but I feel you may be asking (or demanding) for something he can't give.
>
> kazooKazoo,
You are being harsh. I agree that it seems as if Rzip is a little dependent on her therapist, but I am sure that happens in many therapies. It see it this way, 1st of all the confusion & hurt is only multiplied by the nature of the theraputic relationship. It is one sided, mean to help the patient so the therapist needs to keep his needs during the therpy hour, & info about his or her life separate. This is what helps to form the transference. The other thing is that one of the reasons RZIP might be in hterapy is because this dependency need disrupts her life & relationships. If so, this needed to happen so that the therapist can experience what issues Rzip needs to address. This whole situation is actually a stepping stone to deepen their work.
Jennifer
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.