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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rnny on April 12, 2010, at 18:52:26
I was in a group therapy where the session took an interesting twist. The psychologist said that anyone has the capacity to "feel" like they could kill someone given the right circumstances. However he went on to say that the majority of people do not act on such feelings and that in effect is the difference between some people who do kill others and some who do not. The self control, self retraint. One woman in the group therapy said she disagreed because she could never "feel" that way. I chimed in that I agreed with the group leader and believed anyone was capable of "feeling" that way but that there was a big difference between what you feel and how you act. So this is my question: Do you believe that "feeling" some things are wrong? That morally, ethically and even psychologically it is wrong to "feel" certain things? I will start with an answer. I have to be honest and say I do think it wrong to feel certain things. Next?
Posted by TherapyGirl on April 12, 2010, at 19:54:27
In reply to your feelings, posted by rnny on April 12, 2010, at 18:52:26
I'm not sure the feelings are wrong. They are what they are. I think it all depends on what you do about them and how you manage them.
Posted by workinprogress on April 13, 2010, at 0:02:18
In reply to your feelings, posted by rnny on April 12, 2010, at 18:52:26
I, as much as I might want to beat myself up for my feelings, have come to believe what my T always says about this subject. Feelings are just feelings, they can't be wrong or bad. It is in the acting/behavior where that distinction could be made. More likely than not (outside of things like murder) my T would be likely to say, "maybe not the best choice or not a good choice.
Now, that's not to say that you or I or many of us weren't taught that our feelings were bad. I was certainly taught that, so it's one on the list of many things I'm unlearning.
> I was in a group therapy where the session took an interesting twist. The psychologist said that anyone has the capacity to "feel" like they could kill someone given the right circumstances. However he went on to say that the majority of people do not act on such feelings and that in effect is the difference between some people who do kill others and some who do not. The self control, self retraint. One woman in the group therapy said she disagreed because she could never "feel" that way. I chimed in that I agreed with the group leader and believed anyone was capable of "feeling" that way but that there was a big difference between what you feel and how you act. So this is my question: Do you believe that "feeling" some things are wrong? That morally, ethically and even psychologically it is wrong to "feel" certain things? I will start with an answer. I have to be honest and say I do think it wrong to feel certain things. Next?
Posted by Lingonberry on April 13, 2010, at 1:34:21
In reply to your feelings, posted by rnny on April 12, 2010, at 18:52:26
I judge my own feelings, and others too sometimes and I think that is the problem, the valuating of ones feelings. Like the living paradox I am, I also think that feelings per se arent wrong. I mean, we cant choose what we feel but we can choose how to react. For me, its about being honest of my own feelings, trying to not judge myself for them. Not many people will be honest about the dark side within but I believe coming to terms with that side is what makes us come to peace with ourselves.
Lingonberry
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 13, 2010, at 13:26:19
In reply to your feelings, posted by rnny on April 12, 2010, at 18:52:26
We cannot always control feelings, but we CAN control our behavior.
Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are.
Sassy
I am sure we are ALL capable of doing something illegal, immoral, etc.....under the "right" circumstances.
There was a study/experiment called (I think) The Stanford Prison Report/experiment...
Sometimes what happens when society breaks down (looting, murder, etc., etc....) is when we take the brakes off (like no police around)....and we plunge into chaos.
Put some people on an island together, where we don't have the niceities of civiization....and see what we would be capable of just to survive.
My t asked me once: "Have you ever thought about suicide?" I said, "no, but I have thought about homicide!!"
This is the end of the thread.
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