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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by emmanuel98 on May 15, 2009, at 21:51:20
I've been thinking about Dinah's therapist asking her to pay for a session interrupted by a fire alarm and about what she said to her therapist -- I pay to see you but you need to be paid to see me.
Not too long ago, I had a session with my T in which we discussed my going into the hospital because I had become so severely depressed. I was in tears and he was very concerned and compassionate. As I got up to leave though, he asked me for my $15 co-pay. It was disheartening. However distressed I might be, he still remembered to collect his co-pay, which was his due.
Once I said to him that this was a commercial relationship and he objected to that characterization. He doesn't think of it that way, and neither do I, actually. Yet it is his business and, to stay in business, he needs to be aggressive about collecting his fees. It helps that I have insurance. I don't know if I could handle having to write a hefty check every week, having to haggle with him over money.
Once he told me that he genuinely cared about me and I responded that he wouldn't see me if I didn't have insurance and couldn't pay him. That's actually not true, he said. If you couldn't pay, I would still see you and you would pay whatever you could afford -- maybe even $10/session. I was very touched by that.
Once there was some confusion over the time of my appointment, so I arrived too early and met a patient leaving and another patient waiting to see him. Then I came back at the correct time and encountered yet another patient leaving. This parade of patients depressed me beyond belief. If you were my only patient, he told me, I wouldn't be able to pay the rent on my office.
As a professor, I have nearly 100 students each semester and it's hard to keep track of them all. I worried that he must lose track of people as well. But he told me most T's will see only 20-30 patients a week; they see them for an hour at a time over a long period and remember them well.
Relationships between T's and their patients are so confusing. But I think I'm coming to accept that just because he is paid to see me doesn't mean that he doesn't genuinely care about me. I genuinely care about my students, am very fond of many students, even adore some of them. But I still want to be paid to teach them since this is my livelihood.
Posted by Looney Tunes on May 15, 2009, at 23:50:20
In reply to money, posted by emmanuel98 on May 15, 2009, at 21:51:20
For your reading pleasure....
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb1416/is_1_27/ai_n29156961/
Caring is part of the act or should I say, the training.
Posted by mollieQ on May 16, 2009, at 1:02:23
In reply to money, posted by emmanuel98 on May 15, 2009, at 21:51:20
Emmanuel, for a lovely and thoughtful post.
LT, for the link to an interesting article.
Mollie
Posted by Daisym on May 16, 2009, at 15:00:21
In reply to money, posted by emmanuel98 on May 15, 2009, at 21:51:20
To add to this money discussion: Have you ever bounced a check to your therapist? :(
The thing about money is that old-school therapists are often taught that patients who are late in paying or who bounce a check or forget their payment are "acting out" - deliberately withholding in anger or resentment to the therapist. But if we really look at it, people in therapy are often overwhelmed, depressed, etc. and they are likely having trouble paying all their bills on time, remembering anything that isn't attached and scheduling time for things like depositing your paycheck. In other words - life outside the therapy room isn't going so well, so why would the business aspects inside the therapy room be any better? Yet, they make it personal.
I work with disabled infants and toddlers. It is very personal work, we are in people's homes and there are many mental health aspects to this work. And we get paid. But I contend that no one would do this work, as emotionally draining as it is, just for the money. I think therapists are in the same boat.
Good discussion.
Posted by alexandra_k on May 16, 2009, at 23:36:27
In reply to Re: money » emmanuel98, posted by Daisym on May 16, 2009, at 15:00:21
> The thing about money is that old-school therapists are often taught that patients who are late in paying or who bounce a check or forget their payment are "acting out" - deliberately withholding in anger or resentment to the therapist.How... Convenient for them.
Posted by raisinb on May 16, 2009, at 23:45:30
In reply to Re: money » emmanuel98, posted by Daisym on May 16, 2009, at 15:00:21
I did do that once. I was so embarrassed that I canceled the next two sessions until I got paid and had the money to pay the bounced check and the fee.
Funnily enough, she never mentioned it.
Posted by desolationrower on May 20, 2009, at 18:29:16
In reply to Re: money » Daisym, posted by raisinb on May 16, 2009, at 23:45:30
I found it hard to ask my therapist for a price reduction when i lost my job, even though she had offered that (earlier). like it was something she would offer because it is helpful to me, but it feels like our relationship is not about helping each others its commercial.
-d/r
This is the end of the thread.
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