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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Lemonaide on August 13, 2008, at 7:54:55
erupts into illness. First off depression. Then I get a migraine, first one ever, then now I got a kink in my neck, can't hardly move my head without it hurting really bad.
Went to the chiro and they did EMS on my neck and shoulders and then did a massage. The lady doing the massage was shocked how tight I was. I thought I was relaxed, but I guess not. Maybe you get so used to feeling tense, that it feels normal. She also found a trigger point to my migraine, which amazes me. She didn't even know I had one, but yet when she got poking around that trigger point was hard as a knuckle she said. When she rubbed it, I could feel where my headache was.
So I continue with therapy to help with the mental, but sometimes I wonder if more is needed. Processing trauma is mentally tiring, but I am also seeing what it is doing to my body. It is almost like the trauma came to life again and I am feeling it from all angles.
I blew a fuse emotionally in therapy last week over what my old T did. I cried a deep primal cry deep down into my soul. I am grieving, I am in pain all over. I am getting older, and the trauma that emotions have on your body seem harder to deflect.
Having my head immovable, makes me feel paralyzed, but I wonder if I am just re experiencing the trauma on a new level now. In order to survive life, I have to pretend it didn't happen, or I would be a damaged person. So I suppressed these memories, but I think my body still has that stress from a child holding it hostage now. It is almost like my body is resisting processing the trauma because it is afraid it will flood over, so it is fighting me processing it.
Posted by backseatdriver on August 13, 2008, at 8:43:07
In reply to My body holds onto the anger and stress and then, posted by Lemonaide on August 13, 2008, at 7:54:55
I hear ya. I used to get kinked up muscles, trying to hold myself together.
Now I get panic attacks, diarrhea, and hives. It's like the borders of my body dissolve instead of tensing up. I don't think it is an improvement.
I think this problem only gets worse as one gets older. One's immune system gets older and less efficient, organs and tissues are less resilient, and the stress-response kicks into overdrive and sometimes, for me anyway, just doesn't stop.
Wishing you health and peace,
BSD
Posted by Partlycloudy on August 13, 2008, at 15:32:27
In reply to Re: My body holds onto the anger and stress and th, posted by backseatdriver on August 13, 2008, at 8:43:07
Same thing for me. At different times of my life stress has expressed itself in different, interesting ways. First, stomach aches. Then migraines. Then acne for 20 years. Then back pain. I seem to have come full circle and am currently finding that stress immediately triggers stomach problems and migraines. At least I am able to make the connection now - mental anguish equals physical anguish. And the physical problems are no less real for having been triggered by my inner conflicts.
But I am in touch with my body. Oy.
Posted by Dinah on August 13, 2008, at 17:48:43
In reply to Re: My body holds onto the anger and stress and th, posted by Partlycloudy on August 13, 2008, at 15:32:27
Me too. Migraines and IBS.
Joy Joy.
This is the end of the thread.
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