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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on October 8, 2007, at 21:27:07
My T makes me feel it is safe to cry in front of him. He makes it okay to say anything I need to say. It is even safe to challege him on something, he welcomes it. I like that he is sensitive, I am so glad I have him. I think I can do the hard stuff with him and I will be okay.
I think we are a good match. Today he gave me 2 thumbs up and it was so cool!Weird thing though, he had on sandles with socks again, but this time the sock had holes in the toes. My trumpet instructor and I were talking about T's and how strange they can dress at times. My T really looked nice today too, except the holes in his socks. It is kinda funny. But one nice thing I don't think twice about what I wear with him, like I did with my old T. lol So I guess I can relax more.
Posted by happyflower on October 8, 2007, at 21:29:20
In reply to My T makes me feel safe, posted by happyflower on October 8, 2007, at 21:27:07
Maybe for X-mas I will get buy him some socks! lol The guy needs some socks!
Posted by Phillipa on October 8, 2007, at 22:06:54
In reply to Re: My T makes me feel safe, posted by happyflower on October 8, 2007, at 21:29:20
Most definitely get him a different pair for each day of the week in different colors and you'll know if he changes them. Or has stinky feet. Phillipa
Posted by RealMe on October 8, 2007, at 22:15:39
In reply to Re: My T makes me feel safe, posted by happyflower on October 8, 2007, at 21:29:20
That is so funny!!!
RealMe
Posted by RealMe on October 8, 2007, at 22:17:00
In reply to My T makes me feel safe, posted by happyflower on October 8, 2007, at 21:27:07
I am so glad you feel safe with T. Don't let anything or anyone spoil that for you, Okay?
RealMe
Posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 22:35:01
In reply to Re: My T makes me feel safe » happyflower, posted by RealMe on October 8, 2007, at 22:17:00
Happyflower, he sounds delightful. Like someone comfortable in who he is.......a keeper! Glad you feel safe. We all need some of that in our lives.....I am thrilled for you. rk
Posted by Dory on October 9, 2007, at 0:10:42
In reply to My T makes me feel safe, posted by happyflower on October 8, 2007, at 21:27:07
that's nice HF. i am very happy for you. You have sounded more consistently happy lately. i remember a conversation we had one night in chat about being able to show emotion, esp in therapy... do you remember it? i don't know.. i couldn't explain what i was getting at... what i wanted.. but now you understand. What you are describing is a goal of mine. My T is doing ok for his part, i'm just not there yet. It's nice you have this.
and the sock thing is funny.. really funny.
Posted by Wittgenstein on October 9, 2007, at 4:07:28
In reply to Re: My T makes me feel safe, posted by happyflower on October 8, 2007, at 21:29:20
Good idea!! Please buy him some socks! My T has done the socks and sandals 'stunt' before. Definite no-no. But having his tootsies poking out... oh my!!! I had one session where my T had a big stripe of toothpaste down his front - I happened to make a comment about what he was wearing (he seemed distracted and I wondered whether he had been in the middle of decorating and actually would have rather continued than had a client) - I didn't notice the toothpaste stain and wasn't consciously trying to draw attention to it - but then suddenly he looked down, noticed it and proceeded to pick at it for what seemed like ages. We were both embarrassed.
I don't make an effort to dress for my T lol. The first time I went to see him, I made slightly more of an effort - wore a skirt and a nice top - I guessed it might improve my chances of having him take me on as a patient lol - what a disappointment he must have got from then onwards. To be honest I doubt he notices what I wear - or maybe I'm naive.
How nice to feel safe with your T. My T makes me feel safe too. Sometimes I imagine he is a hammock (ok this sounds bizarre) - the feeling that I can relax and he will support me/cradle me - the desire of a little child but a nice safe feeling all the same. First, I felt so ashamed to cry in front of him but a couple of weeks ago I cried freely - it was such a painful time - but I didn't feel ashamed anymore.
Thanks for sharing the things you do about your therapy.
Witti
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on October 9, 2007, at 7:08:15
In reply to Re: My T makes me feel safe » happyflower, posted by Wittgenstein on October 9, 2007, at 4:07:28
my T and I have had several conversations about what to wear in certain circumstances. Thing is that I use clothes to provide "protection" against the outside world. When I don't want to be noticed I dress like a bum. When I'm feeling more confident I show some leggies or wear a skirt. Unfortunately, the way I feel getting dressed in the am is not always how I feel the rest of the day. So... I have had the uncomfortable experience of wearing something and feeling completely exposed and nekkid. Not nice at all!
I worry about what to wear to T. I don't like to have my moods written on my face. I prefer to talk about them. Somedays I have more energy, and otherdays less. Does T notice?
God, we even had a convo about cleavage... WTF?
-Ll
p.s. glad things are going well with your T. You deserve the best!
Posted by Dory on October 9, 2007, at 8:53:07
In reply to dressing up for T, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on October 9, 2007, at 7:08:15
i fuss over what to wear to the laundry place! well, if i am doing ok that is. i am a complete and utter slave to my closet. i love it.. it loves me ;o) It's a sure sign that i am not doing so great when i just look the part. i can feel bad and dress ok, and i like a lot of clothing that is far from "polished" so i can often look rather... well, punky... or i can look office professional. That stuff is sort of mood dependent i guess, but not like what you said Ll.. just more what i feel like wearing, not entirely what i feel like.
we've joked a little about clothing too.. b/c he's noticed the dramatic range of types of clothes i like. i noticed HF's comment about dressing for T or not.. thought about that one. i do. i do spend time thinking about what to wear.. and for me, it's because of my own quirky ways of dealing with insecurity. i want him to like me as much as possible (not in *that* way). i want him to see the best of me, even if it's a stupid contradiction to how i feel. i fight allowing him to see the worst of me. It's not him, he's been totally accepting.
interesting subject HF, even if it was kind of a side thing
Posted by emily99 on October 9, 2007, at 9:50:34
In reply to Re: dressing up for T » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by Dory on October 9, 2007, at 8:53:07
How interesting that this subject got into what to wear when we see our Ts. I'm seeing mine for the first time today, and it's been a struggle trying to decide what I'll wear. The "real" me wears sweats and long-underwear tops. I was thinking of warning her that I may show up dressed like that sometimes. I know it's going to be hard getting myself out of the house anyway, even though I'm anxious to see a T. Am I the only one who doesn't have any kind of social life?
Emily
Posted by Phillipa on October 9, 2007, at 20:38:31
In reply to Re: dressing up for T » Dory, posted by emily99 on October 9, 2007, at 9:50:34
Nope I don't either and always dress in jeans or shorts that is who I am. Either they accept me for who I am or it's not the right fit. Phillipa
Posted by happyflower on October 10, 2007, at 10:23:49
In reply to Re: My T makes me feel safe » happyflower, posted by Phillipa on October 8, 2007, at 22:06:54
lol Phillipa!
I think dark solid colors would be best!
Posted by happyflower on October 10, 2007, at 10:24:51
In reply to Re: My T makes me feel safe » happyflower, posted by RealMe on October 8, 2007, at 22:17:00
Thanks RealMe,
I do like him, I am glad. ;-) Even if he is a dork like myself
Posted by happyflower on October 10, 2007, at 10:26:53
In reply to Re: My T makes me feel safe, posted by rskontos on October 8, 2007, at 22:35:01
Thanks Rk,
He is like a pair of comfey slippers (with holes) lol
Posted by happyflower on October 10, 2007, at 10:29:25
In reply to Re: My T makes me feel safe » happyflower, posted by Dory on October 9, 2007, at 0:10:42
hey Dory,
Thanks for noticing the change, sometimes it is hard to see it for ourselves. You are right it takes both the client and the T to get their. Maybe I am just ready to be there?
Posted by happyflower on October 10, 2007, at 10:35:48
In reply to Re: My T makes me feel safe » happyflower, posted by Wittgenstein on October 9, 2007, at 4:07:28
> Good idea!! Please buy him some socks! My T has done the socks and sandals 'stunt' before. Definite no-no. But having his tootsies poking out... oh my!!!
yeah, I had to look twice to see if what I was really seeing. But then it is hard to not look like you are looking.
I had one session where my T had a big stripe of toothpaste down his front -
I am not sure if I could sit their and not say something. lol That is too funny!
> To be honest I doubt he notices what I wear - or maybe I'm naive.
Well it is there job to notice, because what and how you wear it says a lot about your mood, etc. But being comfortable, is a good thing. ;-)
> How nice to feel safe with your T. My T makes me feel safe too. Sometimes I imagine he is a hammock (ok this sounds bizarre) - the feeling that I can relax and he will support me/cradle me - the desire of a little child but a nice safe feeling all the same.
I love this ! Is it okay for me to use sometimes? It is exactly how my new T makes me feel sometimes.
First, I felt so ashamed to cry in front of him but a couple of weeks ago I cried freely - it was such a painful time - but I didn't feel ashamed anymore.I am still getting there, I stil feel self conscious about it, but relieved that I do feel safe to let those emotions out.
Thanks for your support Witty, you are a delight to talk to in chat and on the boards.
This is the end of the thread.
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