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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by daisym on December 6, 2004, at 13:04:18
Do you think sessions feel differently, or do you act differently, if you go at a different time of day, or at night, instead of during the day? Is there any benefit to moving sessions once in awhile to see if you do react differently, or open up to different stuff?
I've gone mostly afternoons, but the few evenings I've done lately leave me much more anxious. I think I find the dark threatening. I rarely do mornings, so I don't know if that would be different. And when I come straight from work is very different than if I come from home on a day off.
Just curious.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 6, 2004, at 14:16:57
In reply to Timing of Sessions, posted by daisym on December 6, 2004, at 13:04:18
I do afternoons or nights as a night person I prefer nights but rarely get them...I am more relaxed at night.
Posted by Dinah on December 6, 2004, at 19:11:06
In reply to Timing of Sessions, posted by daisym on December 6, 2004, at 13:04:18
When my emotional side is hard to access, like now, it's better for me to go first thing in the morning, because the night time is emotional me's time. Otherwise I have to work really hard with uncertain results to access that part of me.
And I hate going to therapy. :) I never know what to say.
Posted by Aphrodite on December 6, 2004, at 19:27:37
In reply to Timing of Sessions, posted by daisym on December 6, 2004, at 13:04:18
I think about this a lot. When I go mid-afternoon, my normal time, I am in corporate mode, and it feels like a business meeting. I am usually dressed up and feeling guilty about not being at work. This is not my best time, but I'd rather take away from work time than time with my kiddo.
When I go at night, I feel guilty about leaving my family, but I am definitely less guarded. Optimially, I like to be his latest appointment which stretches into my kid's bedtime so I feel less guilty. (Can you tell I have a big problem with guilt?) Anyway, I am usually dressed down, less preoccupied, and definitely more likely to cry a river.
Posted by Klokka on December 6, 2004, at 20:36:06
In reply to Re: Timing of Sessions, posted by Fallen4MyT on December 6, 2004, at 14:16:57
I find the time of a session doesn't make as much of a difference for me as whether I will have something else to do after I leave. The worst is coming home when my parents are there; having class is not ideal but okay and I can deal with a church event or time with friends.
Ideally, though, I like to have a couple of hours to myself after a session to go for a walk/go home and take a nap. That usually works out to being somewhere in the midafternoon, and my usual time (3pm on Fridays) isn't too far off. It's a good thing, too, since it's the only time I have in my week where my schedule doesn't conflict with my pdoc's.
Posted by antigua on December 7, 2004, at 7:57:49
In reply to Timing of Sessions, posted by daisym on December 6, 2004, at 13:04:18
Yes, I think a change of day or time makes a difference. I usually go first thing in the morning and I like being her first patient of the day. This week I had to change day and time so I will be squashed between other patients, which tends to make me feel rushed.
I like going first thing in the morning because depending on how the session goes I can decide what to do next. Sometimes I come home and go straight back to bed. Other times I shop, and sometimes I feel I need to reward myself and I'll do something nice for myself.
I don't like to come home and have to deal w/anyone else. I have to think things through. My whole slant on the session can change between her door and my car.
I don't like late in the day sessions and I recently had a night one that seemed surreal.
antigua
Posted by Bent on December 7, 2004, at 12:32:05
In reply to Re: Timing of Sessions » daisym, posted by antigua on December 7, 2004, at 7:57:49
In three years (with the same T)I have had a session on each weekday, and on each hour between 9am and 4pm. Definitely one of the things that annoys me about my T, but there are so few things that annoy me about her. Time doesnt so much bother me as the day. I really dont like Mondays or Fridays. I like the middle of the week for some reason. This may seem a little crazy but I used to try to get my appointments late in the day in hopes that I'd be my T's last patient and she'd therefore give me more time. I guess it's that whole wanting to be special thing. I never told her this, and she never gave me extra time. Good on her part. This isnt an issue for me now, but just seems weird to look back on.
Posted by littleone on December 7, 2004, at 14:41:27
In reply to Timing of Sessions, posted by daisym on December 6, 2004, at 13:04:18
I go twice a week. My first session is just after my T's lunch on a Tuesday. This can be good or bad. I guess he'd usually be a bit refreshed after a break, and that's good. But you know how sometimes you might eat a big lunch and then you just feel like having a nap? Well he did fall asleep on me one day. Plus I get to see the sort of cr*p he eats.
My second session is at around 5.00 pm on a Friday afternoon.
I guess both sessions feel the same for me in a way. But I have trouble driving at night time. I used to have a lot of trouble with falling asleep at inappropriate times (like behind the wheel of a car). That's improved a lot now, but if I have a really rough Friday arvo session, I find it really hard to actually get home afterwards.
I raised this with my T at one stage and we kind of agreed he'd really push me on Tuesday's and ease off a bit on Friday's, but it never seems to work. I tend to write my most important stuff for him during the week so Friday's end up being the roughest.
I think that some defense mechanisms are in play here though. But I'm still trying to figure them out properly.
So yes, my two sessions have a very different feel to them, but probably not for any of the reasons you mentioned.
And incidently, I would never take a late night session because I would dread being my T's last appointment. I have a big problem with feeling like I'm a bother to people and I would actually cancel my session so he could go home early that evening. Like it's more important for him to have an early night than for me to get help with my issues. In my head I know how crazy that is, but I feel it anyway.
Posted by cubic_me on December 7, 2004, at 15:08:07
In reply to Re: Timing of Sessions » daisym, posted by littleone on December 7, 2004, at 14:41:27
I've never had a 'set' time for appointments, it was always just when we could both make it, but I tended to prefer the middle of the week, probably because with the weekend right between sessions it didn't feel so long to wait inbetween.
I didn't like 9am sessions because I never wake up properly until the middle of the day, afternoon or evening sessions were best for me. I liked the evenings because the other Ts at the office had gone home and it felt more personal and private.
I agree with the others here that it is more about what goes on before and after your session than what time of day it actually is. I hate having to deal with people right after therapy, I usually try to be on my own for at least a couple of hours so that no one else has too deal with my disconnectedness!
Posted by Aphrodite on December 7, 2004, at 20:12:31
In reply to Re: Timing of Sessions » daisym, posted by littleone on December 7, 2004, at 14:41:27
What on earth did you do?
Posted by Aphrodite on December 7, 2004, at 20:14:20
In reply to He fell asleep?!?!? » littleone, posted by Aphrodite on December 7, 2004, at 20:12:31
> What on earth did you do?
Let me rephrase that: I didn't mean, "What did you do that caused him to fall asleep," I meant, "How did you react when he did that?" Sorry for the unfortunate wording.
I would have thrown something at him. How terrible for you!
Posted by Aphrodite on December 7, 2004, at 20:15:25
In reply to Re: He fell asleep?!?!? » Aphrodite, posted by Aphrodite on December 7, 2004, at 20:14:20
Posted by littleone on December 7, 2004, at 21:09:48
In reply to He fell asleep?!?!? » littleone, posted by Aphrodite on December 7, 2004, at 20:12:31
I can laugh about it now, but it was hard at the time. I don't look at him at all during our sessions. I rarely even have him in my periphial vision. It was a rare moment when I was actually talking about something for a while and all of a sudden there was a huge TWITCH from his side of the room. And I'm not talking just a little sleepy twitch. He did a full body twitch that almost landed him on the floor.
It surprised me so much that I actually looked over at him and he had that "where am I, was I just asleep?" look on his face. He realised that he surprised me and apologised for that (ie the surprising, not the sleeping). He just said that he slipped off his chair.
The really funny thing is that we had been talking about re-framing things just prior to that. So his "slipped off the chair" stood out as a re-frame from a mile away.
I gave him a real earful (eyeful?) in my next writeup about it and he did admit to falling asleep, but tried to pass it off as a sugar low. Sugar low my a$$.
Posted by Dinah on December 8, 2004, at 7:31:01
In reply to Re: He fell asleep?!?!? » Aphrodite, posted by Aphrodite on December 7, 2004, at 20:14:20
Back in the earlier days my therapist would come close to falling asleep quite a bit. I was rather unemotional and unengaging, and our appt was after lunch.
I would politely ask him if he was falling asleep and if there was anything I could do to help keep him awake. At first he'd deny it, but later he'd say he'd had a big lunch and that maybe it would help to stand up for a minute. Then he changed it to most clients sat on the couch and sitting on the couch made him sleepy. So I insisted on sitting on the couch from then on. *Then* whenever he started nodding off I'd remind him that he wasn't on the couch.
I don't think I minded it so much. It was on my list of all the ways he was a terrible therapist that I was crazy for wanting to continue to see.
He quit getting sleepy when I quit having my emotions cut off. Now it's very rare indeed. And now I'm more likely to ask in indignation "Are you getting sleepy while I'm talking about ....?" and he'll answer that he's not sleepy, he's thinking, and then stay more alert.
This is the end of the thread.
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