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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 12:01:51
In reply to Re: No, I wasn't wrong, posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 11:08:53
And please do remember (and not that I'm using this as an excuse but Dinah I just love you dearly and sincerely and would hate to lose you so please know that if this sounds a bit wrong, I'm still not all together....)
Now, after that disclaimer...
Can you think of it as dinner... Like you have roast and mashed potatoes and salad and green beans. And even though you hate green beans, you still love the rest of the dinner and have to eat to survive. And the rest of the guests need you at dinner as much as you would love to have dinner with them. Could you politely pick the green beans off your plate?
I'm not trying to minimize your feelings. And I completely understand your point, as I agree and would certainly have no part as well. But we, the dinner guests need you. We would be lost without you. And I know you need us too. And I realize that someone's not taking the voices of very valuable guests into consideration while preapring the meal, and that's not fair. But, do the rest of the guests, especially you have to suffer?
I'm really not at all trying to minimize the situation. I just know that dinner wouldn't taste the same without your company. In fact, it would taste quite sour. It's already beginning to taste that way.
Obviously, the loss of invaluable parts of the dinner guests doesn't hurt the dinner host. Or maybe it does, but the dinner goes on...But, it hurts the other guests. And it hurts them a lot. If you don't believe me, ask Gabbi.(hope you don't mind me bringing you in Gabbi, I just know you don't post much anymore because of people leaving or being "forced" to leave) I know it's hard to stay at a dinner that doesn't taste very good, or the conversation is beginning to sour, but remember things are always changing at this dinner party. But, does that mean the guests have to leave? Other guests need you very much. And I know you need us.
So, please. Pick the green beans to the side. Yell very loud if you have to to say, "I hate green beans, don't serve them!" Wll of us who agree will yell loud with you. Avoid the green beans! But please, don't leave to prove a point when you know things won't change! And you know we need you! Please!
What I'm trying to say is Dinah, you are an invaluable dinner guest. We need you here. And I know you need to be here. I;'m sorry if this doesn't make sense. And I think I'm even sorrier if it does. But please, I'm just saying anything that I can to get you to stay. I know you need to stay as much as we need you to. "Young lady, it's for your own good!" I'm trying to tell you, I love you and would be very sad to see you go. Things just wouldn't be the same. I'm honesty be pacing until I hear from you. And I know it's not as simple as picking green beans of your plate, but maybe we can make it that simple if we have to. If it doesn't work, it may jsut go away, right? Didn't that happen in the past?????? But, you just leaving won't solve a thing, except hurting you, me and everyone else here...... I'm sorry I jsut had to say it girlie..
Posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 12:20:45
In reply to I'm just thinking here and i could be wrong » Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 12:01:51
Thank you, Karen. I'll think about it, and I printed out your post to bring to my therapist today. He has the qualifications to be an ethical mentor as well as a therapist, and I really do value his opinion. But I hope I'm not just trying to make excuses to stay where I want to stay in the face of what I think to be wrong.
I think I should decide this with the rational half of my brain, but the emotional half keeps tantruming.
Posted by judy1 on February 9, 2004, at 12:23:35
In reply to Re: No, I wasn't wrong, posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 11:08:53
Dinah,
Why do you feel it's a 'done deal'? My impression is there is still a discussion going on about pros and cons. Since most people are expressing a negative reaction, my assumption would be that it won't happen. But of course that is an assumption-either way I would have to see if PIBs were instituted before making a decision. I hope you do the same.
take care, judy
Posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 12:34:05
In reply to Re: No, I wasn't wrong » Dinah, posted by judy1 on February 9, 2004, at 12:23:35
Sorry, Judy. I shouldn't have posted that. :( I am just not myself today, although I thought I was feeling better after sleeping all day yesterday and taking a risperdal. But obviously my judgement is still off.
I had emailed Dr. Bob about the matter, and while his response was civil and perhaps even helpful, it did seem pretty clear that it's a done deal.
But it was poor judgement of me to post about it. I need to step away from the computer now. At least till I talk to my therapist, have another risperdal and sleep a while.
Posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 12:48:02
In reply to Re: I'm just thinking here and i could be wrong » Karen_kay, posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 12:20:45
I'm touched and honored that you printed out my post. Just remember that thing happen that are beyond your control. And by taking a stand and making a point that needs to be made, who gets hurt in the process? You'll make a better point by staying, IMHO.... It's not ignoring your moral values and judgement. It's letting people know that even though you don't agree, you'll still voice your opinion. No one's going to make you leave home. No one can take away your right to be here. I honestly feel you can make more of a stand by staying. And that's my head talking.
My heart's begging you to stay... (I don't want to say this, but do what you feel is right) And I'm so proud of you for getting an unbiased opinion. That takes guts girl.... Not jsut guts, that's just .. Well, I can't even put into words. It's the right thing to do.
You're truly wonderful, in every way!!!! [I'm so glad I have a fair and just Aunt Dinah!]
Posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 13:01:11
In reply to Re: No, I wasn't wrong » judy1, posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 12:34:05
And Dinah, you don't have to step away from the computer.... you've been so wonderful at giving support, please let us return the favor./.... Just this once, let me help you like you've helped me. Maybe you know something we don't. Maybe not. I know that when I'm very upset, I tend to jump to conclusions, maybe that happened... Either way, it's fine... We're all entitled to it. Please know that if you need us, we are here. You hear me? You really are one of the most compassionate people I know. I really respect you and hope to learn from that. Take your time away if you have to, if you think that's best. But also know that this board was created for support. (Is that true? See, I'm wrong about 85% of the time :)) And I'll be right here if you need me babe.
Awaiting your return,KK
(((((((Dinah))))))))))
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 9, 2004, at 13:43:47
In reply to Re: No, I wasn't wrong » Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 13:01:11
I am kind of new and don't know you well but seen a lot of your posts and you seem very nice and smart. I am sorry you are going and hope you come back but I dont know why you are going so maybe you wont wanna come back. All in all I would say do what YOU can live with and feel good about..Best wishes with whatever you decide
Posted by lilmsbubbles07 on February 9, 2004, at 13:51:01
In reply to Re: No, I wasn't wrong, posted by Fallen4myT on February 9, 2004, at 13:43:47
ok i am confused ... what happpen to make u want to leave???? i would really like to know ...if u dont mind me asking or if anyone else knows coul someone please in form me
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 9, 2004, at 13:53:38
In reply to ok i am CONFUSED, posted by lilmsbubbles07 on February 9, 2004, at 13:51:01
I don't know why she is leaving and saw nothing on this thread so ? Maybe we will not know why. I do like her sense of humor though but respect her privacy if she dont wanna say why she is leaving
Posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 14:25:19
In reply to ok i am CONFUSED, posted by lilmsbubbles07 on February 9, 2004, at 13:51:01
Yeah, I think it's up to Dinah to decide if she wants to post why she's thinking of going. But, it has nothing to do with anything that posters said. Don't worry that you or any other posters said anything to hurt her feelings. [Sorry Dinah if I stepped on your toes. I just didn't want miss bubbles to think she did something wrong. Not trying to disrespect at all. And trying to respect your privacy at the same time. It gets confusing and is a fine line to walk..]
Posted by lilmsbubbles07 on February 9, 2004, at 15:18:54
In reply to Re: ok i am CONFUSED » lilmsbubbles07, posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 14:25:19
i understand that it is up to dinah weather or not she decides to say why she may be leaving ..i resepct her right for privacy !!!! i hope she dont leave she brings so much light to this borad but i hope she makes the right desion for herself!! im behind her 100% on her desion!!
Posted by terrics on February 9, 2004, at 15:35:47
In reply to Re: No, I wasn't wrong » Dinah, posted by judy1 on February 9, 2004, at 12:23:35
What are PIBs? terrics
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 9, 2004, at 15:38:06
In reply to Re: No, I wasn't wrong » judy1, posted by terrics on February 9, 2004, at 15:35:47
Terrics I have no clue :) someone?????????????
> What are PIBs? terrics
Posted by Penny on February 9, 2004, at 16:00:46
In reply to Re: No, I wasn't wrong, posted by Fallen4myT on February 9, 2004, at 15:38:06
Posted by Fallen4myT on February 9, 2004, at 16:49:26
In reply to Re: Poster Initiated Boards (nm), posted by Penny on February 9, 2004, at 16:00:46
Posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 17:24:26
In reply to I'm just thinking here and i could be wrong » Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 12:01:51
I *am* sorry everyone. My intention was just to not have anyone worry as I was planning to take a leave of absence, not to make anyone feel bad. Just the opposite. It was just an administration problem, not anyone on this board. But I probably didn't go about it well. I guess maybe it should have all stayed on Admin. I wasn't really thinking clearly.
It's not a huge secret as it's all posted on the Admin board on this thread.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/311376.html
I've talked to my therapist, who was at his best, and incidentally Karen, agreed with you completely. (Told you he was at his best! :) ) His take is that it isn't necessary to leave. Just to continue protesting the green beans, and of course, not eating any of them. :)
Posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 17:34:23
In reply to Re: Apology, posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 17:24:26
I think I like your therapist! :) And I don't like green beans either! They stink of dirt! But, I'll be having seconds of everything else, thank you! And I enjoy the company very much!
Posted by gardenergirl on February 9, 2004, at 19:35:57
In reply to No apology needed » Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 17:34:23
Yeah! I like your therapist, too. I'm glad you are okay being here, because we love you! So glad to see you back.
Selfishly,
gg
Posted by fallsfall on February 9, 2004, at 20:09:37
In reply to Re: Apology, posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 17:24:26
Two kinds of ice cream,
finding a skate key,
telling the time.Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime, too.
'Cause Happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you.Dinah, you bring happiness to my life.
Posted by Poet on February 9, 2004, at 21:37:02
In reply to Re: Apology, posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 17:24:26
Dinah,
Thanks for staying with us. I don't get the green beans reference, but can I pass on green peas?
Poet
Posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 21:40:39
In reply to Re: Apology » Dinah, posted by Poet on February 9, 2004, at 21:37:02
But of course! You can join my son. Re. the green beans though:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040206/msgs/311259.html
Posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 21:41:23
In reply to Happiness is... » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on February 9, 2004, at 20:09:37
Same here. :)
Posted by All Done on February 10, 2004, at 1:55:19
In reply to Re: Happiness is..., posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 21:41:23
...still having you here, Dinah :).
For what it's worth, I'll pass on the green beans, too.
Posted by Dinah on February 10, 2004, at 4:04:41
In reply to Re: Happiness is... » Dinah, posted by All Done on February 10, 2004, at 1:55:19
I'm afraid I've officially resigned from the board. The reason is absolutely not any of you, but Dr. Bob's complete lack of sensitivity. The posts in question are on the admin board.
You're a great group of people.
I won't be coming to Babble anymore because I might be tempted to stay, so please...
I've really enjoyed my time here.
Posted by lookdownfish on February 10, 2004, at 4:05:17
In reply to Re: Happiness is... » Dinah, posted by All Done on February 10, 2004, at 1:55:19
Dinah, please stay here and lets pass on the green beans. You have my total support. PIBs - I don't like the idea; it is against the spirit of inclusiveness and support that I thought was present here on Babble.
Infact, personally I don't really like spending any time on the admin board as I have found it is not good for my mental health.
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