Psycho-Babble Eating Thread 783058

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

weight and my helpers

Posted by pianissimo on September 15, 2007, at 14:47:33

Hey there. I've got a problem. I'm losing weight (in rapid bursts but over longer periods of time). I'll be stable for quite a while and then drop suddenly for no reason, only to stabilize again. I weigh myself only to check every so often cause I'm afraid of this, and then terrify myself when the scale is lower. I have a T beginning to get concerned, and another professional I deal with bringing up eating disorder questions. The only person who doesn't seem to care, is my medical doctor. I've brought this subject up, stating how I'm not influencing this in any way and that it's really scaring me, but the only response I get is that, some people my age and height weigh this ("It's still in what can be considered a normal weight range")

I don't know what to do. How can I reassure those on my care team that this has nothing to do with an eating disorder, but convince them to take it seriously as a medical issue? I'm afraid, and am starting to get pretty panicky cause I don't think this is normal. Help please.

pianissimo

 

Re: weight and my helpers » pianissimo

Posted by Poet on September 15, 2007, at 16:06:34

In reply to weight and my helpers, posted by pianissimo on September 15, 2007, at 14:47:33

Hi pianissimo,

Does your T and the other professional you see know that your medical doctor ignored you when you talked about the weight loss? That might help them understand that you do not have an ED, and that you are trying to find out what is behind it.

Maybe go back to your doctor and tell him/her that you have lost X amount of weight in X amount of time and remind him/her that you brought this up before and you are getting worried. Have you lost more weight since your last appointment? Your file should reflect what you have weighed at your appointments and so s/he should have a record to look back on.

If you get ignored again, if I were you I would consult another doctor.

Poet

 

For once I disagree with Poet

Posted by Racer on September 16, 2007, at 14:43:17

In reply to Re: weight and my helpers » pianissimo, posted by Poet on September 15, 2007, at 16:06:34

But only on this: I'd see another doctor right now.

(Otherwise, Poet is pretty dang close to perfect -- her only real problem is buying mirrors at the Funhouse Liquidation Center.)

Doctors are like anyone else, in that they have their own prejudices. It sounds as though your doctor has a weight related prejudice, and won't take your concerns -- which sound VERY valid to me -- seriously.

Also, if you do choose to see your doctor again, and bring it up again, it would be well worth asking your T and your other professional to call and consult. You'll have to sign a release, which you can limit to this one issue, but maybe hearing from another professional will make a difference.

If I sound kinda cold here, it's because this is such a trigger point for me. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder at the age of 40. I got sick when I was 14. That's nearly thirty years of doctors not paying attention. In my case, I knew full well what I was doing, and I tried many times to ask for help. The responses I got from doctors absolutely appalled me, and now I have a great deal of distrust for any doctor who doesn't take weight related issues more seriously than it seems your doctor is doing.

Good luck to you, and I do hope you find the kind of caring, professional medical care you deserve.

 

Racer does have a point

Posted by Poet on September 16, 2007, at 19:04:24

In reply to For once I disagree with Poet, posted by Racer on September 16, 2007, at 14:43:17

I am just so uncomfortable with doctors that I'd go with the bad familiar doctor I know instead of finding someone new competent. So I think she has a real good point that you might want to see a new doctor and not go back to the old unhelpful one.

I own stock in the Funhouse Liquidation Center. You should see the 2008 mutant pear models.

Poet

 

Re: weight and my helpers » Poet

Posted by pianissimo on September 18, 2007, at 8:42:18

In reply to Re: weight and my helpers » pianissimo, posted by Poet on September 15, 2007, at 16:06:34

HI Poet

>>>>Does your T and the other professional you see know that your medical doctor ignored you when you talked about the weight loss?

Yes, they do. One believes me completely, the other has a harder time trusting my word because I have had eating disorder problems in the past. The PCP just labels it "eating disorder" and then sweeps it off the table.

>>>>>Have you lost more weight since your last appointment? Your file should reflect what you have weighed at your appointments and so s/he should have a record to look back on.

I've only ever been weighed twice there (my first appointment ever, and then at my request when the first drop happened). The last report she got from a specialist of mine said I weighed 10lbs more than I did. I know this cause I request copies of all communications between my doctors. The woman did only weigh me quickly, in passing, and I guess she mis-read the lines. I laughed when I read it, that someone would be so careless.

My PCP doesn't often read reports unless it contains test result printouts. So she may not have even noticed that mistake.

The problem is, I technically COULD look that weight. The weight has come off so bizarrely. My clothing size hasn't changed the last 10lbs, and I have so much muscle wasting and exhaustion. It's very stragnge to see, my body fat is just hanging off my bones. My food intake hasn't changed in any way (but then, that only means as much as my word). I have none of the psychological symptoms of an eating disorder returning, and none of the emotional ones, considering I'm scared of this and not at all pleased or excited or proud.

I already have an appointment I made awhile ago so I'll try one more time.
I just want to be well.

thanks for your ideas, pianissimo

 

Re: For once I disagree with Poet » Racer

Posted by pianissimo on September 18, 2007, at 8:57:31

In reply to For once I disagree with Poet, posted by Racer on September 16, 2007, at 14:43:17

>>>>But only on this: I'd see another doctor right now.

It's funny you say that, cause in July I did try and switch. I made an interview appointment with a different one, and was told that I was not "suitable to her practice" and she didn't take me on. I didn't know it was possible to fail an interview with a doctor! Since that, I've lost my steam and courage to try again.

>>>>(Otherwise, Poet is pretty dang close to perfect -- her only real problem is buying mirrors at the Funhouse Liquidation Center.)

They must be good salesmen there cause I think we've all had at least one of those mirrors in our homes.

>>>>In my case, I knew full well what I was doing, and I tried many times to ask for help.

I don't understand how that can happen. It's terrible. Yes, I think it's true what you say about weight-prejudices and doctors, and that it can go both ways. Sometimes I think that it's just easier for docs to say whatever they can to push you out the door, if it doesn't seem like doing that would kill you anytime soon. I'd love to meet one that was passionate about what they do, compassionate, and interested in continued education/current research. Maybe that's not realistic with today's health care.

I have had another professional write my PCP hoping to "collaborate" on my health care, and it must've seemed offensive cause she was even more brusque and dismissive after that.

I told Poet that I DO already have an appointment set-up, but if it brings nothing again, I guess I'll have to get brave and think of trying another interview.

thanks Racer,
Pianissimo

 

Changing the subject line » pianissimo

Posted by Racer on September 18, 2007, at 12:31:36

In reply to Re: For once I disagree with Poet » Racer, posted by pianissimo on September 18, 2007, at 8:57:31

I didn't want to look as though I still disagreed with Poet about anything, since it's so much easier just letting her have the thoughts for us both ;-)

Back to you:

You know how much I enjoy your company, so I will just say that you deserve better. You want a good, caring, compassionate doctor? I got one. If it comes down to it, come out here and see her. (There, if that's not incentive to find a good one where you are, I don't know what is...)

I've got a very long history of problems with doctors. I come by it honestly -- my mother hasn't seen any doctor in over a decade! Even when I got insurance, I struggled a lot. The first two PCPs I saw were -- sub-optimal, shall we say. The first asked something stupid about my weight, "Is this a normal weight for you?" I said, "I have an eating disorder" -- and watched his eyes glaze over. When I said I knew I needed to gain weight, but didn't know how, he said, "I tell my patients who need to lose weight to cut carbs, so I guess you need to eat more carbs." Uh...

The next was so appalling my husband -- who hates conflict -- called him to yell at him! I'd gained weight by this time, but when I went in for something basic, said, "Oh, and it's probably time for another thyroid test." He turned around and said, "You American women want to think it's your thyroid that makes you gain weight..." Hello? I told him that I *knew* why I had gained weight -- it was a year's nutritional counseling from a dietitian, and the same year's worth of psychotherapy -- I wanted a thyroid test because I am treated for severe depression! Uh... Maybe my mother has the right idea?

I'm telling you all this so that you understand that I really do know how hard it can be with doctors.

I now have a team of doctors I -- mostly -- like and trust. My pdoc, affectionately known as Dr Dorky, is still scary to me, but he's a good guy and I'm working on that. My PCP is a tiny little Russian woman, and I like her quite a bit since she asked about what classes I was taking and then went on to talk about how much she liked Algebra, with such a light in her eyes. My gyn is a nice, avuncular sort of a man, older, very compassionate. I'm less thrilled with my orthopedist, but he's only a now and again sort of doctor, so that isn't so vital. Even my podiatrist is a good talker. It really and truly is possible to do this. You can find a doctor who isn't an [body part]. And you know what? You deserve to. You deserve to find a doctor who treats you as a whole human being, not as an eating disorder with legs.

Good luck, and if you want ideas on finding a good doctor, I've got some experience with it now...

 

So then,

Posted by pianissimo on September 19, 2007, at 19:54:27

In reply to Changing the subject line » pianissimo, posted by Racer on September 18, 2007, at 12:31:36

How can you convince someone else that you aren't inside an eating disorder?
How do you change their mind? What can I say? Or are some people's minds made up about what "recovered" means from the very beginning.
Has anyone ever been able to lose the label, lose the comments about your weight being down(even at times when its not), lose the snorts when you don't go back for seconds...etc? I fear I'm always always gonna be judged by a part of my life that I can't take back or re-write. It's trains of thought like this that make me so mad at myself, cause I made myself "sick". It didn't HAVE to happen, but I made it so.

I feel like I should have some cheese here with my whine. bad day.

 

Ah, you see... » pianissimo

Posted by Racer on September 20, 2007, at 0:03:27

In reply to So then,, posted by pianissimo on September 19, 2007, at 19:54:27

Since no one noticed I was sick, until I finally got my courage up to speak to my pdoc -- at the age of 40, thank you very much -- that's never been a problem for me.

Bad day here, too...

Back to you -- that's exactly why I disagreed with Poet. If your doctor disregards what you're saying, I don't think that doctor is good enough for you. You deserve better. You deserve the basic respect of having someone else LISTEN to you. Sure, he/she/it may not agree with you, may not entirely understand you, may not believe you, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be listened to.

I don't know what to tell you about this. Actually, let me back up a minute. Am I misinterpreting this? Which of your team is suggesting that this is your ED acting up? If it's your therapist, that's certainly grist for the mill -- ask why he won't believe your self-report? Discuss that. At least, I'd like to believe that I could do that...

My bad day may be getting worse -- I let the call go to voicemail, but I think I have to listen to it, so gotta end here...

 

Re: Ah, you see...

Posted by pianissimo on September 23, 2007, at 18:45:34

In reply to Ah, you see... » pianissimo, posted by Racer on September 20, 2007, at 0:03:27

>>>>Which of your team is suggesting that this is your ED acting up? If it's your therapist, that's certainly grist for the mill

No, my current therapist believes me completely and has been urging me to get my physician involved. That's harder than it sounds though.
The one who approaches it as just another resurgence of the ED has their entire practice based in EDs. So I kinda get why there's a one-way mindset. But I don't think it's fair to think everything wrong with a person, or life, or health will always be an ED. It's so frustrating. I was told so many times while actually recovering that I was so much more than my ED, but that's proving to be only a pretty slogan that no one else really believes or behaves according to. Apparently I'll always only be that. *sigh*

Thanks for talking Racer. I see my doctor tomorrow. Really dreading it. Probably will be more of the same nothing. oh well, at least none of them will be able to fault me for not bringing to everyone's attention. And I'll have tried again.

Hope your bad day improved some.

pianissimo

 

Result

Posted by pianissimo on October 2, 2007, at 11:55:12

In reply to Re: Ah, you see..., posted by pianissimo on September 23, 2007, at 18:45:34

Meant to say this sooner.

I wore very sparce clothing, to see if she'd notice I've lost weight. Felt strange to be doing that again, and for a different reason. She didn't pick up on it. So finally when she was wrapping up the meeting, I told her that I'm concerned that my weight drops. And that I'm scared of it because for once, I'm not orchestrating it, and it's not in my control.
She said, "Well let me weigh you" And it was down from six months ago, but not at a tragic number (though that's not the point to me, it's not the number it's the drops themselves)
And then she told me that some people have a hard time keeping weight on. I tried to explain that that's not me normally (was never me even back in day when I was healthy and fine), and not what's going on. And she ended with the line about the number being acceptable for some women my age and height, and that "we'll just watch it and see what happens", and to carry snacks in my purse. Oi. I've been watching it for a year now, and eating power bars. *sigh* She's so tiring to talk to.

But I did get a referral after a specialist made a request to her that I see someone in the appropriate field, to look into results they found doing the tests that my PCP should've been ordering herself. I'm just angry at others catching stuff that's her responsibility. Things I feel she would be looking for if she didn't already have a preconceieved idea about me as a patient. But I guess it wasn't a total bust.

P-mo

 

Re: Result » pianissimo

Posted by Poet on October 4, 2007, at 13:49:37

In reply to Result, posted by pianissimo on October 2, 2007, at 11:55:12

Hi P-Mo,

I hope that the doctor in the appropriate field correctly reads the test results and catches on that something might be wrong.

As for your regular doctor, I have an anorexic friend whose doctor has never said anything about her weight. She wears layers of clothes and heavy shoes when she gets weighed, but you'd think the doctor would see how thin she is when she's being examined in a gown, but no. I don't get it as I don't get why your doctor just told you to carry snacks.

Let us know what the new doctor says.

Poet


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