Psycho-Babble Eating Thread 784597

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 36. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Binge Eating

Posted by sadone on September 23, 2007, at 4:18:29

Does anyone have problems with binge eating?

 

Re: Binge Eating » sadone

Posted by Poet on September 23, 2007, at 14:10:10

In reply to Binge Eating, posted by sadone on September 23, 2007, at 4:18:29

Hi Sadone,

I do. Anxiety triggers my urge to binge, try to tell myself bingeing (and for me purging) won't make the anxiety go away, but I don't always listen to myself so to speak.

Do you know what triggers your bingeing?

Poet

 

Re: Binge Eating » sadone

Posted by Racer on September 23, 2007, at 23:09:41

In reply to Binge Eating, posted by sadone on September 23, 2007, at 4:18:29

I binge pretty regularly. My dx is Anorexia Nervosa, although my weight is up -- way too far up, as far as I'm concerned, and I can't seem to lose any of it -- but yes, I binge eat.

I've found one common denominator: I start binging late at night. If I can get to bed earlier, I don't do it. I also graze-binge when I'm restless and avoiding doing something. If I get myself involved in doing something, that helps. (Problem is, if I'm trying to do homework, and experiencing anxiety about it, I'll graze-binge even more: it gives me an excuse to get up over and over again.)

Are you looking for help with this? With ideas for ways to stop the binging?

 

Re: Binge Eating

Posted by sadone on September 24, 2007, at 21:22:55

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by Racer on September 23, 2007, at 23:09:41

thank you for your responses, I have been getting help for this and in the past anorexia, it has caused me to become isolated as I dont want anyone to see me looking like like this, I hate myself because of it. I just feel like I will never get over it this time. I tell myself every day that today I will stop, but I get thru most of the day - and - yes - night time is also the worst for me. I am finding Topamx is stopping the cravings that I get, so that is a good thing, now I just have to master the reasons as to why I am using food as the drug of my choice ?

 

Re: Binge Eating » sadone

Posted by Poet on September 28, 2007, at 11:22:57

In reply to Re: Binge Eating, posted by sadone on September 24, 2007, at 21:22:55

Hi sadone,

I hope that you are able to figure out why food is your drug of choice. I know for me I feed anxiety, though that is within the last few years, before that anxiety didn't trigger binges. What I need to do is figure out why I feed anxiety and starve depression and find something in between. Like normal eating?

Poet

 

Re: Binge Eating » sadone

Posted by RealMe on September 28, 2007, at 22:26:16

In reply to Binge Eating, posted by sadone on September 23, 2007, at 4:18:29

No; just don't eat at all sometimes for days, and then eat crap food (but not a lot) for a few days, eating only once per day and then try to eat normal meals. It never works. I sometimes think I could do it if I was at home everyday and could schedule and plan my meals and what I would eat, but I am just kiding myself to think that. At least I am no longer sticking my finger down my throat, but it is a tempting thought. I have been around long enough that even my head says, nope that won't work. So, misery time, and I don't lose no matter what I do. No I shouldn't say that; I have lost about five pounds in the past month. Not good enough I say to myself. T is wrong; I can lose by starving! Oh I better quit before I talk myself into something I will regret. Good night, and sleep tight.

RealMe
(OzLand)

 

Re: Binge Eating

Posted by sadone on September 30, 2007, at 10:17:02

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by RealMe on September 28, 2007, at 22:26:16

thanks for your follow up posts - helps to know im not alone. im trying to exercise more - finding it fights off the urge to binge - well - on good days anyway.
PS - OZLAND - that has to be Australia, previous Aussie - stupidly married a Canadian - what was i thinking the weather is sh*t ! - far less binge eating in bikini season - which we dont see for 11months of the year here !!!

 

Re: Binge Eating

Posted by sadone on September 30, 2007, at 10:19:37

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by Poet on September 23, 2007, at 14:10:10

Poet - I have tried for years to figure out my triggers - sadly the list is so long - it is easier to list the non triggers it would seem. It is comfort first, anxiety release, when I am alone, and the ongoing saga of - just one more day - and 2morrow will be different.....

 

Re: Binge Eating » sadone

Posted by Racer on September 30, 2007, at 13:17:01

In reply to Re: Binge Eating, posted by sadone on September 30, 2007, at 10:17:02

> previous Aussie - stupidly married a Canadian - what was i thinking the weather is sh*t ! - far less binge eating in bikini season - which we dont see for 11months of the year here !!!

My husband is from Oz, although he's losing his accent. I keep telling him he has to take me home with him, to get his accent back. I was fortunate enough to spend a month in Melbourne some years back, while my ex was working on the Crown Casino, and loved it.

As for the binging, I've identified at least two trigger points for me: when I'm "punishing" myself, I'll eat much more than I want. I can't put these into words very well, but it certainly feels like punishment -- "you're such a worthless idiot, with no control." The other is something physical, although I don't know what. All I know is that, at my pdoc's suggestion, I tried taking an acid reducer like ranitidine, and it breaks the urge to binge. I don't know if that would help you, but it has certainly helped me.

Welcome to the Eating disorders board. I hope you'll stick around and join us here.

 

Re: Binge Eating

Posted by sadone on October 1, 2007, at 3:23:16

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by Racer on September 30, 2007, at 13:17:01

Ah yes Melbourne - great for shopping...

I have had years of anorexia - and then binging - then periods of yo-yo followed by anorexia again. I am just finding that at 34yo I have wasted so much time with depression and eating disorders. When I feel really fat and ugly I shut everyone out of my life, I am at the stage where I have no-one left - no surprise really. I have lost hope of things getting better "one day". I have been on meds for the last 16 years - the latest addition from my pdoc (candy man) is Topamax - this is great for cravings in binging, but I get so sleepy on it I can hardly do anything. I now just binge regardless of cravings or not. I am black or white in my world. Starving or Binging, when I am starving I like myself more, the addiction to the high from starving that always draws me back into anorexia when I want to hide from the outside. I am done with it though, cant be bothered anymore and can no longer keep living pretending that it is ok, it gets so exhausting and consuming, I already regret loosing so much of my life already and cant see it changing. I wasted over $60k yes - that is $60,000.00 on lipo when I was unable to stop binging and sadly the only reason I didnt keep going is that I had to declare bankruptcy - hence my run from Oz to Canada...
guess I can take a new paragraph somewhere...
I know what you mean when you say that you are punishing yourself, I feel the same, why is it that we just cant stop?
will let you take a break...sorry for the epic rant.....
will go and dream of white sandy beaches and sidewalk cafes in Melbourne

 

Re: Binge Eating

Posted by sadone on October 1, 2007, at 3:24:56

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by Racer on September 30, 2007, at 13:17:01

PS I will try the acid reducer - anything is worth it - thanks.

 

Re: Binge Eating » sadone

Posted by Poet on October 1, 2007, at 9:04:32

In reply to Re: Binge Eating, posted by sadone on September 30, 2007, at 10:19:37

Hi Sadone,

Just one more day and tomorrow will be different is something I can, unfortunately, identify with. I understand food for comfort, too. Though it ends up not really comforting, but hurting me. It took me years to admit bingeing/purging is a form of self injury.

Poet

 

Re: Binge Eating » sadone

Posted by Racer on October 1, 2007, at 10:19:16

In reply to Re: Binge Eating, posted by sadone on October 1, 2007, at 3:23:16


> guess I can take a new paragraph somewhere...

This made me laugh -- you're one of us, we'll send you a map to the clubhouse and teach you the secret handshake. (I wish we did have a secret clubhouse.)

> I know what you mean when you say that you are punishing yourself, I feel the same, why is it that we just cant stop?

You know, after hearing it from my T in slightly different context, I just got this: we can stop punishing ourselves when we learn that it's OK to ask for comfort, and learn to comfort ourselves. Maybe some sort of self-soothing technique could help? Make a deal with you: let's both try to do that, just once, and see how it goes? We can report back to each other the success or failure of the exercise.

> will let you take a break...sorry for the epic rant.....

Honey -- you ain't got nothing on me! If you check the archives, I've got rants that go on far longer than yours -- in fact, what you posted here would be a short post from me!

I hope you have a good week.

 

Re: Binge Eating

Posted by sadone on October 1, 2007, at 16:06:52

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by Poet on October 1, 2007, at 9:04:32

you know thats right - it is a form of self injury, i cant tell you the disgust i feel with myself, i guess it would be similar in a way to those who cut themselves. wow - self injury that sheds a whole new light on it for me, thanks for the comment, it feels good to know that people out there are going thru the same, comforting in a way - and far less lonely.

 

Re: Binge Eating

Posted by sadone on October 1, 2007, at 16:31:46

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by Racer on October 1, 2007, at 10:19:16

learning to ask for comfort, how do I do that? i dont know what else would be comfort for me? - ahh, yes, I do, holy sh*t just had a light bulb come on - i know that I crave touch, not touch that a husband can give - not that there is any of that these days anyway - but I crave the touch of others - men only - for example: I went to buy shampoo the other day as one does, looking glamerous in my paint covered flip flops that i have worn for 3 summers in a row, my baseball cap that i dont leave home without to hide myself (like people cant see me anyway) - and my now tight shorts that I make myself wear (again maybe as punishment) as it reminds me of how much the binging has ruined my body.
anyway.......
the guy selling it to me said why are you so sad? I told him I wasnt sad, he said i know you are troubled i feel it - I of course did what any girl would do - started to cry of which i then could not stop. he took my hand walked me to a chair out the back continued to hold my hand and sat with me for a while and talked. It wasnt so much the talking that made me feel better, but it was the touch, the simple touch of my hand that made me feel so incredibly okay. for me that was far more comforting than any binge, but i dont really see myself going up to strange men and asking them to touch me ?!?
massage is pretty expensive these days, although maybe it is worth the investment and could help me. Ithink this all stems from the fact that I was never hugged or touched as a child, our family never showed any affection. my sister and i still dont hug comfortably like a friend would (none of those left.) i was in boarding school from the age of 11 - 18 no boys or men in my life at all, except my b/ball coach, and same thing - i craved his touch !
I dont socialize with anyone and feel like i look at life from the outside and have never been able to be a part of it.
what do you find comforting? in a perfect world if we no longer had to eat anything - like alcohol, we could survive without it, what would it feel like not to have food there for comfort? i know i would feel sad, immed. anxious. Do you feel like it has anything to do with the brain telling us that we want more serotonin? as we dont manufacture enough of it in our brain - threrefore we binge? or is it 100% used as a form of abuse for us?
Do you eat in public? i know i hate eating when people can see me. It is not comfortable, like I shouldnt be doing it or something. I sat and ate an ice cream on the main street the other day to see how would i feel, i would usually hide in my car, and i didnt enjoy it, i hated the feeling, it took away any enjoyment i would have had. I dont know anybody in this area which made it easier - but I remember back in OZ where i grew up, i could never have done that - had someone i know see me eat an ice cream (bad food) good food eg apple etc was perfectly ok tho. strange dont you think?

 

Re: Binge Eating

Posted by sadone on October 1, 2007, at 16:32:40

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by Racer on October 1, 2007, at 10:19:16

PS could use that "clubhouse" about now....

 

Re: Binge Eating » sadone

Posted by Racer on October 1, 2007, at 16:48:01

In reply to Re: Binge Eating, posted by sadone on October 1, 2007, at 16:31:46

> but I remember back in OZ where i grew up, i could never have done that - had someone i know see me eat an ice cream (bad food) good food eg apple etc was perfectly ok tho. strange dont you think?
>
>

Strange? That? Not a bit of it. Here's strange for you: I have packages of peanuts in my pantry, but I can't eat them. Too many calories, don't you know, too high in fat, so I just can't eat them. Unless I put them on ice cream, in which case there's no problem! THAT, my friend, is strange...

So much of what you wrote I relate to entirely. The part about touch especially. I'm just back from therapy, so I can't say much -- too raw -- but I will tell you that touch is scary as hell, too, for me. One night in ED group, I said how much I wanted to be held, and another woman offered to hold me. I let her, and it was terrifying -- I think because I wanted it so very much, or maybe I just don't know at all what it was. Oh, well...

Gotta go -- that restarted the waterworks...

 

Re: Binge Eating

Posted by sadone on October 2, 2007, at 2:08:01

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by Racer on October 1, 2007, at 16:48:01

Well cant argue with that - peanuts on ice-cream what are you thinking? weird how we set these certain boundaries for ourselves like our life depended on them. I am sorry for your tears, would toss you a tissue if i could - followed by a hug.
I know how emotionally exhausting your day must have been, hope your session was productive for you nontheless.
i hate how everyone just keeps saying that it doesnt matter what you look like, we love u anyway etc...it bothers me that they just dont get it - how we feel about our bodies, for me anyway, is the difference between happy and sad, being afraid or strong, having a good day or a bad day, to me it is everything - how i look, how fat or thin i feel is the difference between living and feeling dead.
probably could have expressed that way better, but you get where i was going with it ?

tissue on its way....

 

Re: Binge Eating » Poet

Posted by RealMe on October 6, 2007, at 23:26:27

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by Poet on September 28, 2007, at 11:22:57

Gosh

I starve both especially anxiety. But then I don't binge. I starve myself and vomit and used to exercise like run 10 to 15 miles per day. Hah. I can't even run one mile now since my cervical spine surgery and all the more reason I find it so irresistable at times to just stop eating even though intellectually I know that does not cause weight loss. So, I ate a bowl of Wheaties today and so I was good. Before yesterday therapy I went for almost a week again not eating and just drinking diet cokes and water and unsweetened fruit juice. I felt that was good enough. Did not tell T. He will just say he thinks I should see his dietician. Sh*t why does he have to be an eating disorder specialist as well as a trauma specialist. I did not know he was an ED specialist when I first saw him. I just knew he had worked with people who had been abused. Okay; I have to go to bed. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe I will actually eat more than a bowl of cereal, but I have to be careful. The bowl of cereal left me rushing to sit on the toliet all day. What the heck!!! And no; I did not use any laxatives.

RealMe

 

Re: Binge Eating » RealMe

Posted by Poet on October 8, 2007, at 9:07:55

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » Poet, posted by RealMe on October 6, 2007, at 23:26:27

Hi RealMe,

I don't talk about my ED in therapy, the only time my T has commented was when I was in a major depression and I lost a lot of weight, some of which I have gained back much to my horror. My BMI is within the normal range, but I still refuse to go to my regular doctor for a long overdue exam because they will weigh me. I am not going to weigh more than I did the last time I was there.

Poet

 

I just refuse to be weighed » Poet

Posted by Racer on October 8, 2007, at 16:30:46

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » RealMe, posted by Poet on October 8, 2007, at 9:07:55

You really can refuse to let them weigh you. The nurse may say it's standard, or that it's policy, but you still don't have to step on the scale. What are they gonna do? Pick you up and put you on it? (If they do, you obviously don't weigh too much...)

Seriously -- that is an option. Head to your doctor's, so that you can stay healthy, because I need you.

 

Re: I just refuse to be weighed » Racer

Posted by Poet on October 8, 2007, at 18:49:17

In reply to I just refuse to be weighed » Poet, posted by Racer on October 8, 2007, at 16:30:46

Hi Racer,

Last time I closed my eyes and told her not to tell me my weight, but since I know its higher I won't even do that. I can try and refuse, but the catch is that my husband works at the clinic and I don't want the doctor to look at him and think "he's married to a complete nutjob." Not that the psych meds I list don't already indicate that.

The doctor is going to be mad that I didn't get a mammogram, didn't have my blood pressure checked and I haven't had my period in two months which coincides when I ran out of oral contraceptives.

I will try and stay healthy for you. Though I'm still leary of saying I don't want to be weighed. Maybe make an appointment out a couple of weeks and lose the weight like a normal person? I know, I know.

Thank you for being you, which of course is good.

Poet

 

Made the appointment » Poet

Posted by Poet on October 11, 2007, at 11:51:16

In reply to Re: I just refuse to be weighed » Racer, posted by Poet on October 8, 2007, at 18:49:17

Hi Racer,

October 31st, a scary day, and I don't mean ghosts and goblins, I mean the fear of the scale.

Poet

 

Re: Made the appointment » Poet

Posted by RealMe on October 13, 2007, at 10:05:04

In reply to Made the appointment » Poet, posted by Poet on October 11, 2007, at 11:51:16

Glad you made the appointment.

RealMe

 

Re: Binge Eating

Posted by RealMe on October 13, 2007, at 10:09:32

In reply to Re: Binge Eating » Poet, posted by RealMe on October 6, 2007, at 23:26:27

I went to the doctor a few weeks ago, and they just asked my weight. That's because I just needed scripts, and it is a new doctor, new to me as my doctor left. He seems good and is probably in his 50's. Anyway, he did blood work too, and I have elevated calcium level plus some other stuff. I have an idea now why I have been so tired. Had this before, but long time ago and almost ended up having two parathyroid's removed when I things resolved on their own. Other stuff wrong too, and I have a physcial scheduled for October 20th. I weighed myself today, and I was horrified as I have gained 6 pounds since who knows when, but still. So I must do the six snacks per day thing as the other way does not work, the starving. I know that, but it is so easy to do. Take care.

RealMe


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