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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on August 23, 2007, at 11:25:44
I gained some weight to try to have a baby. Now, I can't have a baby, and I'm left fat. I can't stand being in my body like this, and yet -- I still eat. I can't stand it, and I promise myself I'll eat less next time, but then I still eat much more than I want to. I can't seem to control myself.
I hate it so much. And I feel so weak, such a failure, and so hideous. I even told my pdoc the other day that that I wouldn't be trying anything else until the weight came off. Some of the weight is from Prozac, which I stopped in part because of it. I hate this. And I need to do housework, which I'm not doing, and I hate how much I'm not getting done, I'm ashamed of myself for it all.
I guess I really am a pathetic failure.
I don't know what I want. I guess I just wanted to express it.
Posted by Poet on August 23, 2007, at 13:52:38
In reply to Feeling hideous and f-f-f-f-fat..., posted by Racer on August 23, 2007, at 11:25:44
Hi Racer,
Yesterday my T asked me when the last time I saw Dr. Clueless was (and she called her Clueless, LOL.) I said last month and she wants me to up my Lexipro. T said, I think you're really doing better, how do you present yourself to her? "I tell her I'm a fat ugly failure."
A good friend pointed out that I am not a failure since I just finished getting a paralegal certificate. Problem is I look at my fat thighs and I think I fail to have thin thighs. Big problem is even at my thinnest I still didn't have thin thighs. Time out while Poet mentally beats the crap out of herself.
I know how horrible it's been for you both in gaining weight and in being unable to get pregnant. I would have stopped the Prozac with weight gain, too. Clueless knows not to give me anything that could cause it. Chalk up one for Clueless. Could your eating too much be caused by depression? Not getting anything done sounds to me like depression.
You are not a pathetic failure: I cannot sew, knit or ride a horse without being thrown off and you do all three successfully. As my friend said I am not a failure because I finish classes and do good in school even though I can still feel the gravel in my butt from the last time I attempted ride a horse back in 1974.
Poet
Posted by RealMe on August 24, 2007, at 21:59:25
In reply to Feeling hideous and f-f-f-f-fat..., posted by Racer on August 23, 2007, at 11:25:44
Racer
Are you really fat or just weigh more than you used to. I know the drugs and crap for getting pregant bloat you. Now being more depressed because you gave up on trying to have a baby??? So, eat more. I did that and turned into a blimp for real. I look at pictures of me and UGGGGH! I lost the weight to a decent weight
Now I AM fat again, way over weight. At least 30 pounds over, and I hate it and can't lose it, and that is why I just quit eating. But that didn't work either as my metabolism just shut down. I keep thinking that all the other stuff is getting in the way of letting me lose weight, and my therapist gave me some ideas but also said I needed to be more stable emotionally and not to worry about it for now. Easy for him to say. That is when I finally told him I used to have an eating disorder (one of his areas of expertise), and I told him I was at the point of purging but had not done that yet and just was starving.
Oh crap, as I am now back to just eating whenever. I don't think therapist's understand how painful that is. Could you try a different medication. I am on Parnate now, and it gives me more energy, and when I was younger, Parnate really worked to lift the depression AND give me energy so I could lose weight. A double bonus. Unfortunately it is not working as well for me that way now. At least I am not gaining.
For lunch I had some oriental chicken and rice at work from the cafeteria. Then like a dummy I also bought a package of red licorice for later. Did I stop there? No. I also bought a Reezes peanut butter cups and just proceeded to eat it all for lunch with diet pop!! HAHA. So, if someone has an idea, I sure would like to hear it, and maybe you too??
RealMe (Oz)
This is the end of the thread.
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