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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fca on May 27, 2006, at 11:52:39
29 year old bulimic an serious alcohol dependency. Has been sober off and on last three years (mostly after completing a local 28 day residential program--for six months it was like having my daughter back). The bulimia has not been seriously addressed. She is currently in an inpatient detox program after a three month relapse (admitted with a BA of .44--FYI .6 is fatal). She has a job and insurance and her mother has agreed to pay for the unreimbursed portion at a residential program that specialized in eating disorders and substance abuse. A number of the really outstanding substance abuse programs (Hazelden, MAYO, etc.) will not take her until the eating disorder is stabilized. Now the question--any recommendations for first rate residential programs for eating disorders and alcoholism (most of us who love her and her professional health providers think the eating disorder is the first order of business--besides I am sure any eating disorder program is going to be alcohol free). Right now she is one very scared, anxious young lady. Any help or suggestions would be seriously appreciated. If there is anything fortunate in this situation is that right now she has the resources available to find the treatment that might be most beneficial. I am sure she has had a life long anxiety disorder--in HS it was masked by a very successful career as a US class competitive swimmer--College brought drinking and a progressive downward spiral with periodic upswings. I have struggled most of my adult life with anx/depression and some OCD but have been fortunate in having what is generally a very rewarding and rich personal and professional life. Thanks for any help. A loving and frightened Dad.fca
Posted by floridagal on May 27, 2006, at 18:35:09
In reply to Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by fca on May 27, 2006, at 11:52:39
Dear Dad,
Your daughter sounds a lot like me. I am 28 and also an alcholic and bulimic. However, I have been sober for 4 years and have been free of an eating disorder for 3. I went to a rehab at the Cleveland Clinic, which worked after 2 inpatient visits. However, it wasn't until I seriously dealt with my ED that I was able to maintain sobriety. Both disorders are ways to avoid reality, so was impossible for me to truly work the AA program without treating my ED, and vice versa.I also attended two intensive outpatient treatment programs at the cleveland clinic for my ED, which proved to be just the thing for me. However, my fiance was at a treatment center in Arizona called The Meadows, which is definitely first rate and very secluded. They have a wonderful program there that treats people with multiple problems...ie, they treat patients wholly. My fiance was there for a 4 week session that concluded with a 1 week family program that was great for educating the non-addicts, and for teaching the families to communicate well with each other. For my fiance and me, it was a really good thing. I cannot say how much I am grateful for that experience. If you are looking for the best, this is it, in my opinion. It is run by a woman who was bulimic, and I think, also an alcoholic. If you are interested, it is www.themeadows.org.
I wish you the best of luck. I know it must be hard for you because I remember how it was for my parents as well. But just so you know, people do recover, and your daughter can too. Please let me know if you have any more questions. I would be happy to help.
> 29 year old bulimic an serious alcohol dependency. Has been sober off and on last three years (mostly after completing a local 28 day residential program--for six months it was like having my daughter back). The bulimia has not been seriously addressed. She is currently in an inpatient detox program after a three month relapse (admitted with a BA of .44--FYI .6 is fatal). She has a job and insurance and her mother has agreed to pay for the unreimbursed portion at a residential program that specialized in eating disorders and substance abuse. A number of the really outstanding substance abuse programs (Hazelden, MAYO, etc.) will not take her until the eating disorder is stabilized. Now the question--any recommendations for first rate residential programs for eating disorders and alcoholism (most of us who love her and her professional health providers think the eating disorder is the first order of business--besides I am sure any eating disorder program is going to be alcohol free). Right now she is one very scared, anxious young lady. Any help or suggestions would be seriously appreciated. If there is anything fortunate in this situation is that right now she has the resources available to find the treatment that might be most beneficial. I am sure she has had a life long anxiety disorder--in HS it was masked by a very successful career as a US class competitive swimmer--College brought drinking and a progressive downward spiral with periodic upswings. I have struggled most of my adult life with anx/depression and some OCD but have been fortunate in having what is generally a very rewarding and rich personal and professional life. Thanks for any help. A loving and frightened Dad.fca
Posted by Poet on May 27, 2006, at 20:07:52
In reply to Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by fca on May 27, 2006, at 11:52:39
Hi FCA,
I've been bulimic for 28 years, so I know how hard it is for your daughter. I do drink alcohol, but have managed to keep it under control, so I don't consider it to be a problem for me. That's not denial, honestly.
I don't know where your daughter lives, but in Wisconsin there is a top notch eating disorder and substance abuse program at Rogers Memorial Hospital. I have not been treated there, but I know someone who was and it really helped her anorexia. I've also heard great things about their substance abuse program.
I can't go there due to my health insurance not covering their facility, but if my insurance did I would go there if I needed inpatient or residential treatment.
Here's a link.
http://www.rogershospital.org/eating_disorders.php
I wish her the best. She sounds like she really does want to help herself recover.
Poet
Posted by Racer on May 27, 2006, at 20:52:58
In reply to Re: Desperately need some help for my daughter » fca, posted by Poet on May 27, 2006, at 20:07:52
My T recommended Sierra Tucson and Mirasol to me, although I couldn't swing either program. I think it was Mirasol I was more interested in, but the Sierra Tucson program looked excellent. Sierra Tucson was originally a substance abuse program, though, so I'd say try them first.
For what it's worth, my T is a Certified Eating Disorders Specialist, does a lot of teaching about them, and she went to a retreat there where the therapists who refer people there spent several days experiencing some of the program. She spoke very highly of them.
Their website is: http://www.sierratucson.com/welcome.php
Posted by fca on May 27, 2006, at 20:55:20
In reply to Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by fca on May 27, 2006, at 11:52:39
Many thanks to both of you--The Cleveland Clinic is an interesting possibility as it is only 90 miles from us--She could enroll in an IOP program there for ED and also beging working her 12 step program--The Meadows was also recommended by the staff at Hazelden and seems to be as good as it gets. Thanks to both of you--We hope to give her the options so she can make a decision in the next 10 days Thanks fca
other suggestions or comments also appreciated
Posted by fca on May 27, 2006, at 20:59:50
In reply to Re: Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by fca on May 27, 2006, at 20:55:20
our list of outstanding programs. Obviously this is a big decision and commitment on all of our parts--her life, our hopes and much money Thanks to all of you fca
Posted by floridagal on May 27, 2006, at 22:10:25
In reply to Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by fca on May 27, 2006, at 11:52:39
I'm thankful you've gotten some good suggestions. No matter where she goes, at least it is a step in the right direction! Let us know how things work out. I'll be praying for you!
Posted by fca on May 28, 2006, at 10:30:08
In reply to Re: Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by floridagal on May 27, 2006, at 22:10:25
I can not tell you how much your support means. If you have any thoughts (as daughters) how we can be most helpful I am completely open to them--particularly the eating disorder. I have attended Al Anon on a somewhast regular basis but I find loving disengagement really difficult. Since I am a MH professionalo and run a large CMHC I should know the answers but it really does not help when it is you or a loved one. Thanks again for the info., your thoughts and prayers. fca
Posted by floridagal on May 28, 2006, at 11:59:42
In reply to Re: Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by fca on May 28, 2006, at 10:30:08
My Dad is a pastor, and he does pastoral counseling, and my mom leads all kinds of women's groups, so I'm absolutely sure they thought they should know all of the answers too. So you are not alone in that.
When I was at your daughter's point, I really appreciated my parent's love and support. I was however, embarrased, humiliated, depressed, and anxious, and therefore, I was hard pressed to be so vulernable to so many health care professionals, much less my parents. I think I had had all the sharing I could take within the walls of the hospital, so when it came to talking to my parents, I was reluctant to say much. Not because I didn't love them tremendously, but because I was mentally, spiritually, and emotinoally exhausted, and the other things I mentioned above. For me, the best thing my parents could do was just offer their love and support and tell me that they were there for me if and when I wanted to talk. Granted, I didnt' want to talk for a year or so, but the key thing was that I was talking to someone, and not keeping things inside. I would suggest asking your daughter how she would like you to be there for her, and don't be afraid to ask her what NOT to do, and what subjects are off limits to you. That way you will not risk pushing her away from you. My parents would usually just ask how I was doing and ask for an honest answer. And I would give them an honest answer as long as they didn't freak out and I knew that they would love and support me no matter what.
Unfortunately, my parents live on the opposite side of the country, so they were unable to participate in the family groups. I remember being sort of sad that they weren't there, even though I knew they couldn't be. I also suggest finding out when the family support groups for your daughter's IOP or whatever program she enters, and GO. Even if she might not want you to, at least it shows you care and that you want to help her.
Just another thought. The thing that really made me mad was when my parents asked what I ate. I felt like they were totally invading my privacy, and I think most people with ED's are like that. I would leave the subject of food to her docs, and try to focus on other things.
So....I can't think of anything else, but if I do, I'll let you know. It's nice to be on the other side of this now, and hopefully someday your daughter will be too.
EJJ
Posted by fca on May 28, 2006, at 14:49:17
In reply to Re: Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by floridagal on May 28, 2006, at 11:59:42
thoughtful response--ah yes, to be the child of parents who are in the field--I sometimes wonder what expectations we put in place--her Mom is the classic overachiever and I am the classic (well, I am not sure) but I have done triathalons, run every day, quit drinking, quit smoking 30 years ago--a but of an ascetic with anx/depression and and a touch of ocd.
Your advice is wise and will be put into the mix. Thanks from all of us fca
Posted by fca on May 28, 2006, at 18:41:18
In reply to Sierra Tucson, posted by Racer on May 27, 2006, at 20:52:58
Man, I just checked it out--$39,000 to $70,000. But it does sound good--We have put together a list of 5-10 facilities--her insurance will cover 80% of 30 days. As we took a serious look at these they are all either on the ocean, mountains or attarctively landscaped wooded grounds. I am personally leaning towards an eating disorder/addiction IOP at John Hopkins --12 hours a day and accomdations arranged by the hospital. However, I think she is going to feel better in a 24 hour residential--man this is difficult--I am looking for the perfect solution and I know in my heart it has more to do with her than with the specific program Take Care fca
And to think I joined these forums for myself--I need to get back to more of that.
Posted by floridagal on May 30, 2006, at 17:15:27
In reply to Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by fca on May 27, 2006, at 11:52:39
How's your daughter doing? How are you doing? Was thinking about you this weekend, and hope all is going well.
Posted by fca on May 30, 2006, at 21:03:23
In reply to Re: Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by floridagal on May 30, 2006, at 17:15:27
Thanks for asking, she is detoxed and medically stable and staying temporarily with her Mom as none of us (including my daughter)think it best for her to be alone--her employer has been incredibly supportive and told her to do what she needs to do to rehab (flex schedule, leave, etc). She wants to go residential rehab (alcohol and bulimia) and we are narrowing the options. Fortunately her insurance covers 30 days of inpatient substance abuse and 30 days of inpatient psych. My daughter and I are leaning towards programs associated with teaching hospitals (John Hopkins for example) but still considering the ones in the mountains, shores and woodlands. The Meadows is a strong contender. Right now she is quite labile but doing OK on a day to day basis. She has some medical problems that need to be cleaned up before she leanes and also has an outpt appointment with a pdoc and independently lic nurse (they work together--the MSN specializes in eating disorders). My guess is she will head off some where next week. The struggle now that she is sober is that she really takes pride in her job (it has been a real anchor for her) and she loves her apartment and does not want to lose it. I am selling her 12 year old truck for her and that will pay for the rent while she is in rehab. SHe has not been driving for over a year anyway. You all are great and thanks so uch for asking--I will keep you informed. Fondest wishes fca
Posted by floridagal on May 31, 2006, at 9:32:47
In reply to Re: Desperately need some help for my daughter, posted by fca on May 30, 2006, at 21:03:23
Thank you for writing back. You know, if your daughter is having a hard time with the not working thing, at least they are holding her job for her. And I'm positive that once she gets through all of this, she will be a much better employee.
The first time I went to rehab for everything, I was going to school in VA, and had to move to OH for treatment, so I lost everything; my apartment, my friends, my job, and I missed out on the last semester of my senior year at college. (I later finished online, but I still never got to say goodbye to any of my friends -I just sort of disappeared out of embarrassment.) I knew I wasn't going to get sober in VA, where my college friends were, so I opted for treatment in OH, where my best friend lived. I thought I'd only be there for 30 days, but I ended up staying for several IOP's, and just sort of settled in. In fact, I've been here almost 6 years, although I now have a home in another state, as my name suggests.
My point is, that even though this is hard for your daughter, she will get through. If she loses some things, they will be replaced by much, much better things that she can even imagine. My life is so much more rich today than it ever was before, and I certainly didn't see that coming. I thought I had lost everything, and that my life from there on would be void. In AA, there's such a thing as the 12 promises, and they do come true, if you put in the footwork.
Again, good luch to you and your family.
This is the end of the thread.
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