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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on May 8, 2006, at 1:33:39
I feel half awake all the time from the damn meds, I feel trapped at home, and I feel fatter than a hippopotamus. Every so often, I get a flash of clarity, and remember that I should be working towards healthy, not thin, but that's rare. Mostly, I would give nearly anything to be thin.
We're trying to get pregnant, and that's making all this harder in a lot of ways. Part of me says eat, so that there's better chance of getting pregnant. Mostly, though -- I would give nearly anything to be thin. I find myself thinking things like, "If I knew for sure that I could get pregnant by doing it, I would eat right." But then I get other, less healthy thoughts.
I don't know. I hate being this size. I can't stand it, and hate it, and would give nearly anything to be thin again.
Posted by Poet on May 10, 2006, at 11:38:11
In reply to I can't stand this!, posted by Racer on May 8, 2006, at 1:33:39
Hi Racer,
You're fighting yourself in an emotional boxing ring. *I'd be happy if I were pregnant Racer vs. I'm only happy when I'm thin Racer.* .
I know how frustrated you feel. The logical part of you understands that you have to maintain your weight for the best chance at getting pregnant and keep that weight on through out the pregnancy. The this might not work and I could be thin and happy part of you is trying to get you to give up. Though again the logical part is trying to tell you that being thin does not equal being happy.
I think much of what you can't stand is the anxiety from having to do something that you don't want to do without being able to predict the end result. It's kind of like me going back to school with a specific career goal and thinking that no matter what I won't get a job anyway. If I were thinner I'd have a job, by the way, I know it.
I've put myself in that emotional boxing ring. You're getting a time out. I'll beat on myself, I'm good at it. I can take it.
Poet
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on May 12, 2006, at 0:10:40
In reply to I can't stand this!, posted by Racer on May 8, 2006, at 1:33:39
>
> I can't stand it, and hate it, and would give nearly anything to be thin again.Remind yourself that being thin is NOT worth giving your life for. We all know that is the sad risk w/ ED's. You can in fact kill yourself by trying to be thin. Not that I am so simplistic to think that one can simply, logically talk herself out of an ED. On the other hand, a little rational self-talk can certainly help.
Back to something that you said earlier...
>
> We're trying to get pregnant, and that's making all this harder in a lot of ways.Let me preface this by saying that I'm not trying to be rude, or snotty or anything, okay? (I don't know how this will sound typed out). But, I don't think that your husband is trying to get pregnant so much as he is trying to impregnate YOU. I know that some women like to say "we" to emphasize shared responsibility for child-rearing, etc. But, particularly in this case, I feel like saying "we" diminishes the huge physical stress and emotional strain that this puts on you. Afterall, if your job were to, um, "plant the seed" so to speak, you would not be experiencing so many intense body-related issues related to having a child. This is a HUGE burden for you and it should be acknowledged!!
Does that make any sense? Honestly, I am a person who never ever uses the plural to describe pregnancy and childbirth. It sorta feels like saying "We're menstruating." (Funny that no one ever says that, huh?) But the word choice issue is particularly striking to me here. I would be interested in your thoughts on the matter (Even if they are, "EE, stop ranting!")
Best,
EE
Posted by Racer on May 12, 2006, at 18:55:09
In reply to Re: I can't stand this!, posted by Emily Elizabeth on May 12, 2006, at 0:10:40
My husband is not going to like you now -- because, after what you wrote, from now on, I will say "We have OUR period!" LoL
Honestly -- I am laughing, alone in the room, and probably looking very silly.
You're right, it is a place where "we" probably isn't as appropriate as "I." Probably part of my psychopathology, though: *I* don't matter, but *we* do. I have had horrible experiences, and complained about them only because "what if they do it to someone else?"
For that matter, when I started classes again, I was told TWICE that I shouldn't take any maths -- "there are nice English classes, or History, and we're sure you'd like those more." I'm forty-{mumble} years old, fer cryin' out loud! If I want to take ELEMENTARY ALGEBRA -- which I have taken before, passed, gotten an A, gone on from there to take Statistics -- I think it's OK to let me try. The head of the math department told me he had no confidence I could do it, and wanted me to take ARITHMATIC! And you wanna know what I told the female advisor I complained about it to? "Now, you know, it's one thing if they do this to me, but what if they do the same thing to a 17 year old girl?" Doh!
And no, it didn't sound snotty. Thanks for taking the time to write it.
This is the end of the thread.
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