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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on February 16, 2006, at 15:12:29
I am living with mom and I am in my late 30's. I am anorexic. It's very hard to restrict my food when I am living with my mom. I wish I could just tell her. She knows I have a problem but we never mention it. I am not at a low weight now, she thinks everything is fine. Except she is nagging me to eat more.
What she doesn't know is that everytime I eat more for her, I go upstairs in my room and I cut myself.
Maybe I should write a letter to her.
I am really distressed because eating causes stress for me. I just don't know what to do.
Maxime
Posted by Poet on February 16, 2006, at 22:15:10
In reply to I wish I could just tell her!, posted by Maxime on February 16, 2006, at 15:12:29
Hi Maxime,
I wish you could just tell her, too. I wish everybody with an ED could not be afraid to say it.
I come from a family that doesn't talk about things, so this one is hard for me to answer. No one in my family knows about my bulimia, my husband has no clue that I'm completely out of control right now. Hell, my T doesn't know (yes, send me a cyber slap, I know, I know.)
I think that a part of you needs to talk to her about what her urging you to eat is doing to you. I have always found it easier to write to someone than to try to talk directly, so I am in favor of a letter, but since I know that your head is full of things right now, but ask yourself
How do you think your mother would react to your letter?
What would you want her reaction to be?
What kind of relationship do you have with her?
Take care. Let us know what you decide. We're pulling for you no matter what.
Poet
Posted by Racer on February 18, 2006, at 11:49:37
In reply to Re: I wish I could just tell her! » Maxime, posted by Poet on February 16, 2006, at 22:15:10
Your mother knows that you used to have a problem, but doesn't know that you do now, right? Could you tell her that -- just as a residue from that, nothing to do with now, you see -- it's very stressful for you to have her urging you to eat more? Maybe say that that sort of thing leads to the sorts of feelings that gave you the ED in the first place?
And don't cut yourself. I know, and I know you know I know. Just -- take better care of you. Take the kind of care of you that you'd take of me if you could. Or that I'd take of you if I could.
My own mother is good for the same sorts of things, although she tends to do things like, when i'm thin, pointing out every overweight woman in the area and criticising her. She talks all the time about fat people, how awful they are, etc -- and I know that she's worried about me, but she can't express it so it comes out in a way sure to make me feel as though I have to lose weight! Or she pretends that nothing's wrong with me. Or assumes that, since I'm fat now, that I must be fine, and willing to eat anything at any time.
Whoops -- I'm triggering myself, so gonna stop. Just trying to tell you that mothers can be triggering. And suggest the whole "just don't talk about eating with me, 'K?" thing.
Good luck.
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