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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on February 5, 2005, at 13:50:44
I was thinking about this today -- if I didn't waste all this time worrying about food and my body size and shape, who would I be? What would be left? What would take its place?
After all, worrying about what I was going to eat next, and how long I could put it off, and how little I could eat and still function -- all that has taken up so much of my time for so long now, what would take its place if I didn't do it?
If I learned to accept my body as a part of myself that was just fine the way it was as long as it was healthy, how would I use all that time that I'd suddenly have?
Anyone else have similar questions?
Posted by Augustina on February 5, 2005, at 19:20:41
In reply to Who are we without our Eating Disorders?, posted by Racer on February 5, 2005, at 13:50:44
Racer,
this is a very good question and something i often ask myself. For me, food and weight obsession is such a natural part of my life and if it wasn't there anymore, i'd probably feel empty and feel like my life was not complete. Though it is mentally exhausting to be constantly thinking of food (from the time i wake up til i go to sleep), this obsession has become my "friend". Sounds strange but right now, that's how it is and that's something i'm working on in therapy.
I think underneath this "layer" of an ED there is a lonely, scared little girl who was teased and criticized for being fat. Even though i'm no longer overweight, the scars are still there and
now at age 37 i do all i can to prevent such criticism from happening again to me...this takes its form in my ED--diet obsession, compulsive exercise, former use of laxatives, etc...A.
Posted by partlycloudy on February 6, 2005, at 14:55:11
In reply to Who are we without our Eating Disorders?, posted by Racer on February 5, 2005, at 13:50:44
Well, having met you in person and not spent a lot of time talking about our afflictions, but rather, our interests, I would say that you are a fantastic, intelligent woman, with a compassion that *must* reach beyond your disorder, because you were able to come and meet with me.
So, I already don't define you by your eating disorder, but by the compassion you have shown me. Does that help give you some perspective?
Posted by Racer on February 6, 2005, at 21:16:02
In reply to Re: Who are we without our Eating Disorders?, posted by partlycloudy on February 6, 2005, at 14:55:11
Hell, Woman! That wasn't compassion, just companionship! You were certainly worth any drive, and I only wish we'd had more time.
Thank you. And thank you for a very enjoyable visit, too. WHEN are we gonna do it again? *g*
Posted by Maxime on February 16, 2005, at 20:54:04
In reply to Re: Who are we without our Eating Disorders? » partlycloudy, posted by Racer on February 6, 2005, at 21:16:02
Well an ED isn't about food. And I developed anorexia because I didn't feel like I was worthy of food. I wanted to disappear. I had been sexually molested. Now I HATE my body and everything about me.
So without my ed I am a woman who feels like she has no worth and wants to disappear and I would probably find another coping mechanism ... alcohol I suspect.
Maxime
Posted by stresser on February 17, 2005, at 14:30:33
In reply to Re: Who are we without our Eating Disorders?, posted by Maxime on February 16, 2005, at 20:54:04
Maxime,
How long did it take you to admit to yourself that the eating disorder wasn't about food? When did you discover what it was really about? We are going through that with my daughter and she won't admit to herself, or the pdoc why she binge eats. She will admit that she has a problem when pressed about it, but that's about all. -L
Posted by Maxime on March 5, 2005, at 2:29:52
In reply to Re: Maxim:Who are we without our Eating Disorders?, posted by stresser on February 17, 2005, at 14:30:33
I have always known. My ED started when I was 10 or 11. I knew it wasn't about food because I wanted to make myself disappear. But I still have that need or desire to be thin. Beyond thin. I'm 36 years old now. 3 years ago I was at such a low weight I was wearing a children's size 10. I'm short so length wasn't a problem. Now I am much heavier and disgusted with my body and that I have lost control.
I don't know if I have answered your question ....
Maxime
PS. Sorry for the delay in response. I haven't checked this part of the board for a couple of weeks.
> Maxime,
> How long did it take you to admit to yourself that the eating disorder wasn't about food? When did you discover what it was really about? We are going through that with my daughter and she won't admit to herself, or the pdoc why she binge eats. She will admit that she has a problem when pressed about it, but that's about all. -L
Posted by Maxime on March 5, 2005, at 2:45:41
In reply to Re: Maxim:Who are we without our Eating Disorders?, posted by stresser on February 17, 2005, at 14:30:33
Have you tried joining the community for parents, spouses etc. with loved ones who have an eating disorder? I highly recommend it.
www.somethingfishy.org Also there is no way for your daughter to see any posts you make on that board.
I am on the board for people with eating disorders. I find it very helpful because we are not allowed to post any numbers or anyting that might trigger a fellow member.
Maxime
This is the end of the thread.
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