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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by redscarlet on November 28, 2004, at 23:48:52
I have an eating disorder, I have dealt with anorexia for many, many years.
I all most died from it in fact, that was in 1981.
I have been obsessed about my weight all my late teen to adult life.
I have been doing some binge eating for the last three weeks and I don't know why.
I have a lot of stress in my life right now so I guess it's coming from that, however that is usually when I STOP eating !
This binge eating has me so stressed out. I've never done this before and I want it to stop and stop NOW.
I'm really feeling out of control.
Everyday is a battle with food and my thoughts about food.
If it wasn't bad enough I got worse after I had gained a lot of weight due to meds I was put on for my bipolar and OCD.
That was over four years ago and I lost all the weight once my meds were changed. However now I have this great fear of being fat again.
Well it sure is nice to have a place to post this, it just feels better to be able to talk about it.
No one knows about this in my life except my Mother but she thinks I recovered after my near death back in 1981.
The wired thing is I want to be well and healthy but I also want to keep control if that makes any sense ?!?!
So I just wanted to share my story, maybe you can share yours... :-)
Posted by Racer on November 29, 2004, at 9:17:26
In reply to anorexia bingeing, posted by redscarlet on November 28, 2004, at 23:48:52
Sounds pretty familiar, red. I, too, gained huge amounts of weight from meds, and am entirely ambivalent about recovering from all this. In fact, I want to recover -- but only as a very thin person who doesn't need to eat!
Here's a bit of a clue about that: that's the eating disorder talking.
Have you gotten any treatment for your ED? After almost 30 years, I'm finally getting treatment, and it does make a difference. Maybe not much of one, in that I still hate myself when I eat a semi-normal amount, and still want to starve myself into thinness, but it is helping more than the weight inducing drugs did in the past. There's still a sense of futility, and that my life may as well be over, since I'm just going to be fat, but at least there is someone I can talk to for support, and the nutritional counseling helps me understand what "normal" really is -- and why I feel so out of control with eating.
In past episodes of AN, I have 'binged' myself. Mostly, my binges were still very small amounts, but it did feel terrible. I finally got a routine going of scheduled binges, so that I could get them under control. I'd have something I wanted to eat every Sunday. That way, I didn't over-overeat, and didn't feel so out of control since it was planned.
If you've been restricting for all these years, though, this is probably your body's way of saying it can't cut back anymore, and needs fuel. That might be worth listening to.
I hope there's something in there that helps. It's early, and I'm still half asleep...
Posted by redscarlet on November 29, 2004, at 14:29:04
In reply to Re: anorexia bingeing, posted by Racer on November 29, 2004, at 9:17:26
Racer ~ No, I'm not in any type of treatment/therapy for my ED.
I know it would help but in 2001 I was hospitalized twice for my bipolar and OCD and have not been able to work since then, so money is very tight, stuff like keeping the roof over my head takes priority.
I know I'll work through this, I have a great will to survive, it's just that I've been here at this same place for so long.
It's a vicious circle that seems to have no end.
It's not like it's something you can just give up like drinking or drugs you have to learn some how to make peace with food.
That's the thing I'm just not there with yet.
But I wont give up, my motto is... sink or swim !Thanks for your post.... :-)
This is the end of the thread.
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