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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on August 9, 2009, at 2:16:34
I think a lot of it may be a transference type thing. I wonder what the difference is between people who love vs. hate Dr. Bob?
I love Dr. Bob (obviously) LOL. I was never abused and nothing traumatic or bad has really happened to me. My parents love me a whole lot. I love living life and I get really happy and excited about things easily. I have a positive view of the world and of people in general.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 9, 2009, at 2:19:40
In reply to What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. Bob?, posted by Deneb on August 9, 2009, at 2:16:34
maybe they are both prone to splitting???
Posted by alexandra_k on August 9, 2009, at 2:23:15
In reply to What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. Bob?, posted by Deneb on August 9, 2009, at 2:16:34
sometimes our parents care can be fairly dependent on our doing what it is that they want us to do. so if a parent gets anxious that their child is off exploring and not missing them they can subtly or not so subtly make their anxiety known to the child or punish them by threatening to remove their love upon the child's return. that way the child learns to hang around their parent rather than to go off to explore. the love the child gets is dependent on the child learning what 'good' things they need to do. the care they get is dependent on the child putting their own needs and desires aside in order to be 'good' so as to get the care they need.
i think the desire to be 'good' (to understand, to tow the line) can be a manifestation of this kind of dynamic...
authority figures tend to like 'good' patients. studies have shown lol. gee, i wonder why...
Posted by Deneb on August 9, 2009, at 2:32:35
In reply to Re: What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. B, posted by alexandra_k on August 9, 2009, at 2:23:15
That is interesting. I find I've always been a "good" kid. I usually do what I've been told. I think for me it is more about the fear of punishment, which I suppose is like the removal of care when one is a child. I was always good in school. I never got into trouble.
But what about those who hate Dr. Bob? Did something happen in their childhoods to make them hate Dr. Bob?
Posted by Sigismund on August 9, 2009, at 2:36:13
In reply to Re: What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. B, posted by alexandra_k on August 9, 2009, at 2:23:15
> sometimes our parents care can be fairly dependent on our doing what it is that they want us to do. so if a parent gets anxious that their child is off exploring and not missing them they can subtly or not so subtly make their anxiety known to the child or punish them by threatening to remove their love upon the child's return. that way the child learns to hang around their parent rather than to go off to explore. the love the child gets is dependent on the child learning what 'good' things they need to do. the care they get is dependent on the child putting their own needs and desires aside in order to be 'good' so as to get the care they need.
> i think the desire to be 'good' (to understand, to tow the line) can be a manifestation of this kind of dynamic...
> authority figures tend to like 'good' patients. studies have shown lol. gee, i wonder why...
Is that what splitting is?
Posted by alexandra_k on August 9, 2009, at 5:22:29
In reply to Re: What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. B » alexandra_k, posted by Sigismund on August 9, 2009, at 2:36:13
> Is that what splitting is?i think sometimes no matter how hard you try and do whatever it is that your parents want of you in order to obtain their pleasure no matter what you do... it simply isn't enough.
then what do you do? give up, of course. disillusionment. one can want to curl up and die... or one can rage...
s'not like bob doesn't encourage / enjoy the dynamic.
Posted by SLS on August 9, 2009, at 5:52:47
In reply to What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. Bob?, posted by Deneb on August 9, 2009, at 2:16:34
> I love living life and I get really happy and excited about things easily. I have a positive view of the world and of people in general.
Never lose it.
Cynicism will shorten your life.
- Scott
Posted by Dinah on August 9, 2009, at 8:51:58
In reply to Re: What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. B, posted by alexandra_k on August 9, 2009, at 5:22:29
> then what do you do? give up, of course. disillusionment. one can want to curl up and die... or one can rage...
Those aren't the only possibilities.
Posted by obsidian on August 9, 2009, at 23:10:20
In reply to What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. Bob?, posted by Deneb on August 9, 2009, at 2:16:34
much of my own personal experience would tell me not to trust the intentions of anyone
but some of my very significant experiences have told me otherwise
I don't think I'm idealizing anyone here...
I choose to believe that Dr. Bob's intentions are honorable. I think, why else would he bother?
We do throw a good amount of cynicism, hate, love, hope, anger, etc. his way.If I thought posting here was detrimental to me then I'd stop. I think it is each person's responsibility to make that decision.
I like to read about what people think, that's why I keep coming here...for years now. I think there are some really amazing people here.
So, I think Dr. Bob created this site and keeps it going for whatever reasons he wants. I don't really need to know why.I asked a long time ago...I've got my moments of paranoia after all.
"mutual support and education" was the answer
works for me
take what you like and leave the rest right?
Posted by Glydin 00 on August 12, 2009, at 21:28:57
In reply to Re: What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. Bob?, posted by obsidian on August 9, 2009, at 23:10:20
I don't think of Dr. Bob in terms of loving or hating or liking or disliking so far as him as a person.
I find it difficult to make those judgements as I know so little about him. I see him as the owner and manager of this site. I see him as providing and overseeing this site.... that's the only capacity that seems workable to me given the design of these boards. What judgements I make are on his behavior on and about the boards... which are, at times, quite difficult enough for me without adding in a character assessment or believing he's something more....
Posted by SLS on August 13, 2009, at 5:55:13
In reply to Re: What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. Bob? » Deneb, posted by SLS on August 9, 2009, at 5:52:47
> > I love living life and I get really happy and excited about things easily. I have a positive view of the world and of people in general.
>
> Never lose it.
>
> Cynicism will shorten your life.
Just in case you thought I was kidding:
http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/news/20090810/pessimism-cynicism-can-hurt-your-hearthttp://www.examiner.com/x-9303-Miami-Health-Care-Examiner~y2009m8d12-Optimistic-women-live-longer
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-08/12/content_11865615.htm
This is not news, though. I first read about the link between cynicism and heart disease in 1984 in a Scientific American article.
- Scott
This is the end of the thread.
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