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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 3 to 27 of 79. Go back in thread:
Posted by Glydin 00 on July 24, 2009, at 9:41:00
In reply to I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend, posted by Deneb on July 23, 2009, at 20:59:19
> Remind me again why Dr. Bob can't be our friends?
>~~~ Despite his unoffical capacity as a doc here, he is a doc who is the owner of this site and he states so in many different places. I would think that would make for some boundaries in which crossing would not be a good idea nor healthy for him or the posters here.
Prehaps, in a fashion, it's a looking out for what's best for the community at large, himself and individuals.
Given your particular enthuiasm about Dr. Bob, maybe the interactions you have with him at the level they are are the best and the healthiest. He does allow you to post about your love of him and such. And you do meet with him face to face from time to time. Maybe it's a favor and in good interest to not go farther than that...
Of course, I can't speak for Dr. Bob and only he has the answers as to why he does what he does. As a poster here, my opinions are only how I preceive things to be
Posted by SLS on July 24, 2009, at 14:34:38
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend, posted by Deneb on July 23, 2009, at 23:00:26
Your feelings for Dr. Bob offer you a chance to explore what it is you like about him so much and to begin looking for someone else with the same traits. You are in the midst of a discovery process.
I agree with Glydin 00. It is a healthy set of boundaries that Dr. Bob has placed between himself and his posting community.
- Scott
Posted by Deneb on July 24, 2009, at 15:55:30
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend, posted by Glydin 00 on July 24, 2009, at 9:41:00
> Prehaps, in a fashion, it's a looking out for what's best for the community at large, himself and individuals.
>
> Given your particular enthuiasm about Dr. Bob, maybe the interactions you have with him at the level they are are the best and the healthiest. He does allow you to post about your love of him and such. And you do meet with him face to face from time to time. Maybe it's a favor and in good interest to not go farther than that...Thanks for your explanation, but what bad things could happen if we were friends?
>
> Of course, I can't speak for Dr. Bob and only he has the answers as to why he does what he does. As a poster here, my opinions are only how I preceive things to be
Posted by Deneb on July 24, 2009, at 15:59:41
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Deneb, posted by SLS on July 24, 2009, at 14:34:38
> Your feelings for Dr. Bob offer you a chance to explore what it is you like about him so much and to begin looking for someone else with the same traits. You are in the midst of a discovery process.
I wonder if anyone can replace Dr. Bob for me? I always said if I ever have a future boyfriend, he would have to be OK with me loving Dr. Bob. LOL
>
> I agree with Glydin 00. It is a healthy set of boundaries that Dr. Bob has placed between himself and his posting community.
>
>
> - Scott
Posted by Glydin 00 on July 24, 2009, at 16:17:32
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Glydin 00, posted by Deneb on July 24, 2009, at 15:55:30
> Thanks for your explanation, but what bad things could happen if we were friends?>
~~~ What good things do you think could happen if you were friends?
Posted by Deneb on July 24, 2009, at 16:48:58
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Deneb, posted by Glydin 00 on July 24, 2009, at 16:17:32
> > Thanks for your explanation, but what bad things could happen if we were friends?>
>
> ~~~ What good things do you think could happen if you were friends?
>Well, we would be friends and we'd have fun times together. We'd comment on each others Twitter and it would be fun. We would joke around and it would be great. We'd laugh and chat and play together.
Posted by Glydin 00 on July 24, 2009, at 19:00:59
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Glydin 00, posted by Deneb on July 24, 2009, at 16:48:58
> Well, we would be friends and we'd have fun times together. We'd comment on each others Twitter and it would be fun. We would joke around and it would be great. We'd laugh and chat and play together. >~~~ I appreciate you answering.
I think Dr. Bob appears to have made a choice to not deeply engage with posters. I know no more about Dr. Bob than I did when I began here eight years ago.... that seems telling to me.
I believe the boundaries he has appeared to establish are for the good of the community and for individual posters. He owns and governs the boards - that's his role. I appreciate the potential objectivity keeping all posters on an even playing field gives..... Maybe, he feels if he's considered a "friend" to one, he would need to extend that level of interaction to all?
I don't believe it's a purely ethical issue but it may be a proper conduct issue in terms of how he "should" engage and be involved with posters.
As far as individual posters, well, it may be that some would not find an "enough" level as to how a friendship with Dr. Bob would be defined or with realistic expectations.... that sets up for potential harm, IMO.
Posted by Deneb on July 24, 2009, at 19:18:45
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Deneb, posted by Glydin 00 on July 24, 2009, at 19:00:59
> I believe the boundaries he has appeared to establish are for the good of the community and for individual posters. He owns and governs the boards - that's his role. I appreciate the potential objectivity keeping all posters on an even playing field gives..... Maybe, he feels if he's considered a "friend" to one, he would need to extend that level of interaction to all?
That's seem plausible. There are so many posters here that he can't be friends with all of us. Plus if he is friends with some then it can be perceived that he has favourites. That wouldn't be good. I just wish...sigh. I just wish Dr. Bob could be my friend.
Sometimes he interacts with others on Twitter and I get envious. I wish he would interact with me on Twitter.
>
> I don't believe it's a purely ethical issue but it may be a proper conduct issue in terms of how he "should" engage and be involved with posters.
>
> As far as individual posters, well, it may be that some would not find an "enough" level as to how a friendship with Dr. Bob would be defined or with realistic expectations.... that sets up for potential harm, IMO.Do you mean maybe some people would expect too much and be disappointed?
Posted by Glydin 00 on July 24, 2009, at 19:32:27
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Glydin 00, posted by Deneb on July 24, 2009, at 19:18:45
> Do you mean maybe some people would expect too much and be disappointed?
>
~~~ Yep, that's what I meant... does that make sense to you?I think folks don't always handle disappointments very well. In turn that could be harmful and have unhealthy effects in ways beyond the initial disappointment.
Posted by Deneb on July 24, 2009, at 21:21:12
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Deneb, posted by Glydin 00 on July 24, 2009, at 19:32:27
> > Do you mean maybe some people would expect too much and be disappointed?> ~~~ Yep, that's what I meant... does that make sense to you?
>
> I think folks don't always handle disappointments very well. In turn that could be harmful and have unhealthy effects in ways beyond the initial disappointment.Yeah, that makes sense, but isn't it a bigger disappointment to not even to friends in the first place?
Posted by Phillipa on July 25, 2009, at 0:04:34
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Glydin 00, posted by Deneb on July 24, 2009, at 21:21:12
If it makes you feel better put a request on facebook for his friend no answer. Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 0:12:07
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Deneb, posted by Phillipa on July 25, 2009, at 0:04:34
I think Dr. Bob quit going to Facebook and is on Twitter now.
Posted by SLS on July 25, 2009, at 0:39:32
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Glydin 00, posted by Deneb on July 24, 2009, at 21:21:12
> Yeah, that makes sense, but isn't it a bigger disappointment to not even to friends in the first place?
Not necessarily.
Being disappointed (rejected) after developing a personal relationship with someone for whom you have such intense unrequited feelings can be traumatic.
Perhaps it is better to worship from afar.
Besides, reality is often disappointing when compared to the fantasy.
Who am I to discourage you from trying, though?
Nobody.
I still think that you can learn things about yourself by examining your current feelings, whether they are requited or not.
Why Dr. Bob?
- Scott
Posted by Zeba on July 25, 2009, at 0:59:32
In reply to I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend, posted by Deneb on July 23, 2009, at 20:59:19
I don't understand why you would want him as a friend????
I would not want him as a friend, I don't think if for no other reason that I think his way of handling Babble is very controlling. Other reasons too,
So I am curious why you want him to be your friend.
Posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 1:20:41
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Deneb, posted by SLS on July 25, 2009, at 0:39:32
I love Dr. Bob because he cares about Babble and he's a caring, fun loving, adventurous, smart, interesting, funny, attentive, guy.
I like how he listens to people and makes comments and how he thinks about others, even the little people others rarely notice.
I like how devoted he is to Babble, and all the time he spends here. I like how he is funny and makes jokes.
He cares about the little people you don't usually notice. I love how he loves to explore and is like a little kid. I love how he loves to share things, like pictures and food.
I love how he sticks to things he believes in and tries to make Babble safe the best he can, even if it doesn't always work out. I know he has good intentions.
:-)
I just love him soooooooo much! I love him. :-)
((((((((((((Dr. Bob)))))))))))))))))
I love practically everything about him.
Posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 1:26:26
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend, posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 1:20:41
I was just using like, but replace them with love. LOL
Posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 4:58:18
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Deneb, posted by SLS on July 25, 2009, at 0:39:32
> > Yeah, that makes sense, but isn't it a bigger disappointment to not even to friends in the first place?
>
> Not necessarily.
>
> Being disappointed (rejected) after developing a personal relationship with someone for whom you have such intense unrequited feelings can be traumatic.
>
> Perhaps it is better to worship from afar.Hehe, worship. LOL
>
> Besides, reality is often disappointing when compared to the fantasy.So far reality hasn't let me down, but I think I know what you mean. Dr. Bob however is awesome in real life and it makes me love him more.
> Who am I to discourage you from trying, though?
>
> Nobody.
>
> I still think that you can learn things about yourself by examining your current feelings, whether they are requited or not.
>
> Why Dr. Bob?
>
>
> - Scott
Posted by SLS on July 25, 2009, at 11:38:49
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » SLS, posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 4:58:18
> > Besides, reality is often disappointing when compared to the fantasy.
> So far reality hasn't let me down, but I think I know what you mean. Dr. Bob however is awesome in real life and it makes me love him more.It is nice to hear something complementary about Dr. Bob every now and then.
- Scott
Posted by Lou Pilder on July 25, 2009, at 14:39:31
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend, posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 1:20:41
> I love Dr. Bob because he cares about Babble and he's a caring, fun loving, adventurous, smart, interesting, funny, attentive, guy.
>
> I like how he listens to people and makes comments and how he thinks about others, even the little people others rarely notice.
>
> I like how devoted he is to Babble, and all the time he spends here. I like how he is funny and makes jokes.
>
> He cares about the little people you don't usually notice. I love how he loves to explore and is like a little kid. I love how he loves to share things, like pictures and food.
>
> I love how he sticks to things he believes in and tries to make Babble safe the best he can, even if it doesn't always work out. I know he has good intentions.
>
> :-)
>
> I just love him soooooooo much! I love him. :-)
>
> ((((((((((((Dr. Bob)))))))))))))))))
>
> I love practically everything about him.
>
> Deneb,
You wrote,[...the little people others rarely notice...].
I am unsure as to what yoiu are wanting to mean here. If you could post answers to the following, then I coukld have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
A. What in your thinking constitutes one here to be a little person?
B. In your thinking, how do you determine if or if not others notice a person in that catagory of yours?
C. If you could identify members here in your catagory in question, could you make a list of those in that catagory?
D. If so, could you email me that list or email it to someone that could email it to me?
E. Do you think that any people on a list like that, they saw their name on the list,could be led to feel put down?
F. What is your conception of what could lead a person to feel put down?
G. redacted by respondent
Lou
Posted by Zeba on July 25, 2009, at 17:20:45
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Deneb, posted by Zeba on July 25, 2009, at 0:59:32
Is there someone in your everyday life you feel this way about too? I don't guess you see Dr. Bob that frequently??
Zeba
Posted by Deneb on July 25, 2009, at 17:44:03
In reply to Re: I wish Dr. Bob could be my friend » Zeba, posted by Zeba on July 25, 2009, at 17:20:45
> Is there someone in your everyday life you feel this way about too? I don't guess you see Dr. Bob that frequently??
>
> ZebaNo, I've never felt this way with anyone else. I only see him at Babble Meet-ups. That's about 2 days in a year.
Posted by Sigismund on July 25, 2009, at 22:55:21
In reply to Lou's request- » Deneb, posted by Lou Pilder on July 25, 2009, at 14:39:31
You must be one of the big boys, Lou.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 26, 2009, at 2:32:03
In reply to Lou's request- » Deneb, posted by Lou Pilder on July 25, 2009, at 14:39:31
> C. If you could identify members here in your catagory in question, could you make a list of those in that catagory?
> D. If so, could you email me that list or email it to someone that could email it to me?
> E. Do you think that any people on a list like that, they saw their name on the list,could be led to feel put down?Please be sensitive to the feelings of others. For example, please don't suggest that anyone do anything that might lead others to feel put down.
But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person, and I'm sorry if this hurts you.
More information about posting policies is in the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceThanks,
Bob
Posted by Lou Pilder on July 26, 2009, at 9:50:36
In reply to Re: Lou's request » Lou Pilder, posted by Dr. Bob on July 26, 2009, at 2:32:03
> > C. If you could identify members here in your catagory in question, could you make a list of those in that catagory?
> > D. If so, could you email me that list or email it to someone that could email it to me?
> > E. Do you think that any people on a list like that, they saw their name on the list,could be led to feel put down?
>
> Please be sensitive to the feelings of others. For example, please don't suggest that anyone do anything that might lead others to feel put down.
>
> But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person, and I'm sorry if this hurts you.
>
> More information about posting policies is in the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
>
> Thanks,
>
> BobMr. Hsiung,
You wrote,[...don't suggest that anyone do anything that might lead others to feel put down...]
I do not see anything in my request that you cited that suggests that the poster in question could feel put down untill you could respond by posting answers to the following. If you could, then I could then have a better underdstanding of what you wrote to me and respond accordingly.
In regards to your TOS here that this board is for to ask for your rationales, have dialog concerning the actions that you take and the policy and rules here ect;
A. What is the criteria that you used to determine that my request could lead , I guess, the poster, to feel put down?
B. If it is someone other than the poster that you write that they could be led to feel put down, I guess, by them reading my request to another member, what could be your rationale for such?
C. Is asking that another email to anyone here the same as asking the member to post what they are requesting for them to email, if what is requested exists? . If so, could you post here your rationale for such?
D. In your TOS that you do what in your thinking will be good for the communitty as a whole, and that you would like others to try to trust you in that regard, could you post here what your rationale is that could make it good for the commnunity as whole for others to be restricted here to request from another member something about what they posted and why members are to try to trust you in that regard? If your reply contains aspects with my requests in A, B and C here included in any reply from you to me here, I think that that could go a long way for members to have a better understnding of the actions that you take here and then they could also have the opportunity IMO to post what IMO could be good for the community as a whole if they like. If you could, then I could post here all the outstanding requests from me to you, all of the outsdtanding notification from me to you, and them others could have the opportunity IMO to make their own determination about my concerns without emailing me.
E. If the same request could be posted here by modifying the request, what would be needed to put in that request, if there exists something to make it acceptable to be posted here?
F. Could a member request to another member that they apologize and if so, what could be in your thinking the differentiating criteria that could make that an acceptable request and requesting to email me would not?
Lou Pilder
Posted by Lou Pilder on July 26, 2009, at 12:35:40
In reply to Lou's reply to Mr. Hsiung- » Dr. Bob, posted by Lou Pilder on July 26, 2009, at 9:50:36
> > > C. If you could identify members here in your catagory in question, could you make a list of those in that catagory?
> > > D. If so, could you email me that list or email it to someone that could email it to me?
> > > E. Do you think that any people on a list like that, they saw their name on the list,could be led to feel put down?
> >
> > Please be sensitive to the feelings of others. For example, please don't suggest that anyone do anything that might lead others to feel put down.
> >
> > But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person, and I'm sorry if this hurts you.
> >
> > More information about posting policies is in the FAQ:
> >
> > http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> > http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Bob
>
> Mr. Hsiung,
> You wrote,[...don't suggest that anyone do anything that might lead others to feel put down...]
> I do not see anything in my request that you cited that suggests that the poster in question could feel put down untill you could respond by posting answers to the following. If you could, then I could then have a better underdstanding of what you wrote to me and respond accordingly.
> In regards to your TOS here that this board is for to ask for your rationales, have dialog concerning the actions that you take and the policy and rules here ect;
> A. What is the criteria that you used to determine that my request could lead , I guess, the poster, to feel put down?
> B. If it is someone other than the poster that you write that they could be led to feel put down, I guess, by them reading my request to another member, what could be your rationale for such?
> C. Is asking that another email to anyone here the same as asking the member to post what they are requesting for them to email, if what is requested exists? . If so, could you post here your rationale for such?
> D. In your TOS that you do what in your thinking will be good for the communitty as a whole, and that you would like others to try to trust you in that regard, could you post here what your rationale is that could make it good for the commnunity as whole for others to be restricted here to request from another member something about what they posted and why members are to try to trust you in that regard? If your reply contains aspects with my requests in A, B and C here included in any reply from you to me here, I think that that could go a long way for members to have a better understnding of the actions that you take here and then they could also have the opportunity IMO to post what IMO could be good for the community as a whole if they like. If you could, then I could post here all the outstanding requests from me to you, all of the outsdtanding notification from me to you, and them others could have the opportunity IMO to make their own determination about my concerns without emailing me.
> E. If the same request could be posted here by modifying the request, what would be needed to put in that request, if there exists something to make it acceptable to be posted here?
> F. Could a member request to another member that they apologize and if so, what could be in your thinking the differentiating criteria that could make that an acceptable request and requesting to email me would not?
> Lou Pilder
>
Mr. Hsiung,
If you are considering posting a reply here to my requests to you in this thrread, could you look at the posts in the threads that the following links bring up? If you could, I would like for you to consider what could be seen in those threads in any reply to me here that you may post.
And to member interested in considering posting here in this thread, I would like for you also to look at the posts in the links and consider what can be seen there.
If you are are further interested and would like to email me for additional infomation concerning the aspects here involved, I could email you links that could give further infomation regarding:
A. What other psychiatrists/psychologists write regarding some aspects of the situation that can be seen here that IMO could offer you more understanding so as to post with more infomation
B. The historical parallels to what can be seen here.
C. Posts from here that might IMO could be very interesting in reagrds to what can be seen here as to if you are considering posting here in this thread or parallel threads.
Here are some links that I would appreciate if interested members could take some time to explore.
Lou Pilder
lpilder_1188@fuse.net
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090702/msgs/907121.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090707/msgs/907122.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090707/msgs/906568.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090302/msgs/897756.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080709/mshs/841329.html
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
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