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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maxime on February 9, 2008, at 4:25:00
I used to think that PB was a relatively safe place to post.
However, I don't feel that this is the case anymore. There is a member here who likes to spread rumours about people and they are hurtful. Babble Mail isn't always used otherwise I would report this person. He/she uses email.
The things that have been said about me to other members makes me sick. I am also sickened by Babble Mails he/she has sent me regarding other members. I am not interested in gossiping and I wish it would stop.
Myself and others have been hurt by this person. PB is supposed to be a place where you can feel better about yourself ... not worse. And these rumours are not based on facts. For instance, this person told another member that I was a lesbian and I liked to seduce men on PB! I am *not* a lesbian and if I was I wouldn't be trying to seduce men! This person also told another member that I was faking my illnesses. This person has an active imagination. I wish I was faking my illnesses because then I would not be in so much pain.
I don't know if anything can be done unless this person uses Babble Mail.
I am hurt and sad about what has been said about me, and others are as well.
Any suggestions on what might done?
*Please treat others with respect.* Goodness knows that many of us have been mistreated by mental health care professionals. We don't need anymore hurt!
Maxime
Posted by Deputy Dinah on February 9, 2008, at 9:34:40
In reply to Rumours galore, posted by Maxime on February 9, 2008, at 4:25:00
> There is a member here who likes to spread rumours about people and they are hurtful.
Dr. Bob asks that we use the notify the administrators function to report uncivil actions by other posters, even if they are not specifically named, since doing so on board could lead others to feel accused or put down.
Uncivil babblemails should be forwarded to Dr. Bob. And Dr. Bob has said in the past that uncivil emails can also be forwarded to him. Obviously there is more of a verification problem with emails.
It's ok to discuss generalities, such as the potential for abuse of outside methods of communications, or suggestions that people use babblemail rather than email. But please don't refer to specific poster(s), named or unnamed, when doing this.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by Maxime on February 9, 2008, at 15:23:38
In reply to Please Follow Site Guidelines » Maxime, posted by Deputy Dinah on February 9, 2008, at 9:34:40
Ugh, I am sorry. I regret deleting the Babble Mails now, but they were upsetting. I will take you advice and use it. Again, I am really sorry. At the same time this person should be felt put down after everything she made up.
Thanks again.
Maxime
Posted by Phillipa on February 9, 2008, at 17:26:55
In reply to Re: Please Follow Site Guidelines » Deputy Dinah, posted by Maxime on February 9, 2008, at 15:23:38
One thing I learned is always to keep copies of all babblemails. Hence the send copy to self. Sorry you didn't do this as it must be very frustrating. Phillipa
Posted by Kath on February 9, 2008, at 17:42:24
In reply to Please Follow Site Guidelines » Maxime, posted by Deputy Dinah on February 9, 2008, at 9:34:40
Dear Deputy Dinah,
Thanks for your post. I feel really uncomfortable with this type of thing being dealt with in any way other than what you described.
Makes me feel anxious, sick to my stomach, uneasy, scared - basically triggers a lot of deep-inside-me-stuff, I guess.
Thanks again Dinah. I truly hope that this type of concern can be dealt with in the manner you suggested in the future. If this is to feel like a 'safe place', the guidelines put in place to ensure that need to be followed.
I was guilty of once commenting on a post in a reply to the post & had it pointed out that that wasn't the way to do it. I hadn't realized it & was really embarrassed & felt badly, but it was so clear, once it was pointed out, like "Oh of COURSE! that makes way more sense to do it that way"
sincerely, Kath
Posted by Maxime on February 9, 2008, at 23:31:11
In reply to Re: Please Follow Site Guidelines » Deputy Dinah, posted by Kath on February 9, 2008, at 17:42:24
I am sorry Kath, I let my anger get away from me. I didn't mean to trigger anyone.
Ah, you won't have to worry about me anymore because I highly doubt I will come back.
Maxime
Posted by Maxime on February 9, 2008, at 23:32:36
In reply to Re: Please Follow Site Guidelines » Maxime, posted by Phillipa on February 9, 2008, at 17:26:55
???? Please do not talk to me Phillipa.
Posted by Maxime on February 10, 2008, at 0:34:43
In reply to Please Follow Site Guidelines » Maxime, posted by Deputy Dinah on February 9, 2008, at 9:34:40
Hi Dinah
I wrote to Dr. Bob and told him everything. I guess the reason I didn't do that in the first place is because I don't have the Babble Mails anymore that this person sent me.
Anyhow, I trust that Dr. Bob will do the right thing.
Maxime
Posted by Jamal Spelling on February 10, 2008, at 2:16:27
In reply to Re: Please Follow Site Guidelines » Kath, posted by Maxime on February 9, 2008, at 23:31:11
> Ah, you won't have to worry about me anymore because I highly doubt I will come back.
Please don't go. I like it when you post. But if you think Psycho-Babble is a destructive influence in your life, then that is different. Sometimes I think Psycho-Babble may be a destructive influence in my life. But otherwise, please don't go.
Posted by Justherself54 on February 10, 2008, at 12:22:52
In reply to Re: Please Follow Site Guidelines » Maxime, posted by Jamal Spelling on February 10, 2008, at 2:16:27
I'm sorry you have had to deal with this..I wish you felt safe on babble..there will be so many people who'll miss you, myself included..I hope you stay..don't let anyone drive you away..otherwise they've won and we've lost a valuable member..
Posted by Phoenix1 on February 10, 2008, at 14:18:22
In reply to Re: Please Follow Site Guidelines » Kath, posted by Maxime on February 9, 2008, at 23:31:11
> I am sorry Kath, I let my anger get away from me. I didn't mean to trigger anyone.
>
> Ah, you won't have to worry about me anymore because I highly doubt I will come back.
>
> MaximeHi Maxime,
I really hope you aren't leaving for good. I truly enjoy your presence here and you add a lot of value to the board with your insight and experience. Please don't disappear, as you would be missed by many!
Phoenix1
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 11, 2008, at 1:34:13
In reply to Re: Please Follow Site Guidelines » Phillipa, posted by Maxime on February 9, 2008, at 23:32:36
> Please do not talk to me Phillipa.
Please be sensitive to the feelings of others. If you don't want another poster to post to you anymore, please follow the steps at:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#harassed
But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person. And I don't want anything bad to happen to you. In a crisis, please also get help in person. You may also wish to check out a listing compiled by a poster of helpful web pages on coping with crisis at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-tips/links/Coping_with_crisis_001012507973
I encourage anyone who has questions about this or about posting policies in general, or is interested in alternative ways of expressing themselves, to see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceThanks,
Bob
PS: According to the formula:
duration of previous block: 1 week
period of time since previous block: 24 weeks
severity: 2 (default) - 1 (provoked) + 1 (uncivil toward particular individual) = 2
block length = 1.51 rounded = 2 weeks
Posted by karen_kay on February 11, 2008, at 14:04:58
In reply to Re: blocked for 2 weeks » Maxime, posted by Dr. Bob on February 11, 2008, at 1:34:13
considering that the 'notify' button and regulations are relatively new and highly confusing, shouldn't some sort of lenience be granted in this case?
Posted by karen_kay on February 11, 2008, at 14:06:09
In reply to ouchie! » Dr. Bob, posted by karen_kay on February 11, 2008, at 14:04:58
now i'm confused if i should have sent that last post via 'notify admin' button....
don't slap me, it was an accident! :)
Posted by kezia on February 11, 2008, at 17:21:54
In reply to Re: blocked for 2 weeks » Maxime, posted by Dr. Bob on February 11, 2008, at 1:34:13
Un-f*ck*ng-believable!!!!!
Posted by tecknohed on February 12, 2008, at 19:04:02
In reply to Re: blocked for 2 weeks » Dr. Bob, posted by kezia on February 11, 2008, at 17:21:54
> Un-f*ck*ng-believable!!!!!
I second that! Dr Bob, do you not pay any attention to peoples cries for help on these boards & simply look for 'naughty' behaviour? (which I dont believe this was)
And isn't this the ADMIN board where people should be ALLOWED to express how they really feel about such distress caused by others ON THESE (YOUR) BOARDS? If people dont want to get involved or become distressed by what others post ON THIS BOARD then they can allways stick with the other boards! Or simply DONT read the thread!I thought part of THIS board's purpose was to help sort out such issues, not block people! I could understand if it was on another board. But in this case it was not.
And how does 1.51 weeks round up to 2 whole weeks? There are 7 days in a week you know.
Not impressed AT ALL.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 13, 2008, at 1:16:42
In reply to Re: blocked for 2 weeks, posted by tecknohed on February 12, 2008, at 19:04:02
> > Un-f*ck*ng-believable!!!!!
>
> I second that! Dr Bob, do you not pay any attention to peoples cries for help on these boardsIt's fine to ask for help, and to express how you feel, but I'd like that to be done in a civil way.
I trust that Maxime appreciates your support,
Bob
Posted by Phoenix1 on February 13, 2008, at 12:38:44
In reply to Re: blocked for 2 weeks, posted by tecknohed on February 12, 2008, at 19:04:02
> > Un-f*ck*ng-believable!!!!!
>
> I second that! Dr Bob, do you not pay any attention to peoples cries for help on these boards & simply look for 'naughty' behaviour? (which I dont believe this was)
> And isn't this the ADMIN board where people should be ALLOWED to express how they really feel about such distress caused by others ON THESE (YOUR) BOARDS? If people dont want to get involved or become distressed by what others post ON THIS BOARD then they can allways stick with the other boards! Or simply DONT read the thread!
>
> I thought part of THIS board's purpose was to help sort out such issues, not block people! I could understand if it was on another board. But in this case it was not.
>
> And how does 1.51 weeks round up to 2 whole weeks? There are 7 days in a week you know.
>
> Not impressed AT ALL.Teck, I agree with you completely. This is what admin should be for. And Maxime didn't use any names or accuse anyone specifically. If anyone felt accused, then they were either reading too much into it, or the accusations about them were correct. Either way, I think she brought an important subject into the open in the appropriate place. And this is obviously an issue that has hurt her significantly. Sometimes the notifier button just doesn't resolve anything, whereas bringing the issue into the open without naming names has better results. And I think it should be known that there is more background here that has not been discussed that may have led Maxime to post as she did.
And blocks should be done in days not weeks. Rounding 1.51 weeks up to 2 weeks just adds insult to injury.
Let's offer her some compassion and empathy. That's what she needs right now, not exclusion from this community.
Dr. Bob, please reconsider your actions in light of the other information that Maxime may have shared with you, and the location and context of her post.
Phoenix1
Posted by Kath on February 13, 2008, at 13:26:14
In reply to Re: Please Follow Site Guidelines » Kath, posted by Maxime on February 9, 2008, at 23:31:11
Hi Maxime - Thanks for the apology, although I don't fell as if you needed to apologize to me, but thanks. I'm sorry you were blocked I hope you had other support available during your block.
sending you good wishes, Kath
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 14, 2008, at 1:33:14
In reply to Re: blocked for 2 weeks - tecknohead - Dr. Bob, posted by Phoenix1 on February 13, 2008, at 12:38:44
> If anyone felt accused, then they were either reading too much into it, or the accusations about them were correct.
Being correct doesn't necessarily make accusations civil.
Bob
Posted by kezia on February 15, 2008, at 14:18:45
In reply to Re: blocked for 2 weeks, posted by tecknohed on February 12, 2008, at 19:04:02
> > Un-f*ck*ng-believable!!!!!
>
> I second that! Dr Bob, do you not pay any attention to peoples cries for help on these boards & simply look for 'naughty' behaviour? (which I dont believe this was)
> And isn't this the ADMIN board where people should be ALLOWED to express how they really feel about such distress caused by others ON THESE (YOUR) BOARDS? If people dont want to get involved or become distressed by what others post ON THIS BOARD then they can allways stick with the other boards! Or simply DONT read the thread!
>
> I thought part of THIS board's purpose was to help sort out such issues, not block people! I could understand if it was on another board. But in this case it was not.
>
> And how does 1.51 weeks round up to 2 whole weeks? There are 7 days in a week you know.
>
> Not impressed AT ALL.Yeah, it's a shame that a person who had rumours spread about them and was probably feeling "put down", "accused" and all that other psychobabble civility b*llsh*t, gets blocked while trying to protect themselves from emotional harm.
I am so sick of people who seem to take such pleasure in gossiping about others and not having anything truly worthwhile to say or offer. Passive-aggressive bitches who play the innocent victim so well and always come out smelling like a rose. Some people need to get a life!
I hope Maxime is ok. She shouldn't have been the one to be blocked!
Posted by Deputy Dinah on February 15, 2008, at 18:39:39
In reply to Re: blocked for 2 weeks » tecknohed, posted by kezia on February 15, 2008, at 14:18:45
> I am so sick of people who seem to take such pleasure in gossiping about others and not having anything truly worthwhile to say or offer.
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as Deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by gardenergirl on February 16, 2008, at 11:29:33
In reply to Re: blocked for 2 weeks » tecknohed, posted by kezia on February 15, 2008, at 14:18:45
Well it certainly sounds like you are aware enough about what you are "so sick of" that you can easily identify posts to avoid. That's great!
gg
This is the end of the thread.
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