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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DAisym on August 27, 2007, at 15:25:12
Continuing part of the discussion from sychological, what is the possibility of starting a "support only" board? That way those that are in a very sensitive place and "only want a hug" as Happy Flower put it, would feel safe to post. And the rules would be very clear about what to say back.
And I think that might liven up psychological again, which has sort of (unintentionally I think) turned into a support board for some posters, instead of a discussion forum. Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course.
Thank you for considering this idea.
Daisy (who posts over here with lots of trepidation.)
Posted by Racer on August 27, 2007, at 17:19:01
In reply to Support Board, posted by DAisym on August 27, 2007, at 15:25:12
:-} <<Please note the wicked grin. I do enjoy teasing you.
I think that's a great idea, Daisy. I'll second the motion.
Aside from the issue of whether or not there's discussion material, I think sometimes people are afraid to post something when they "only" want some petting, some comforting, some hugs. Having a place that everyone knows is safe would be awesome.
What a great idea to come out of your great brain!
Posted by DAisym on August 27, 2007, at 22:51:16
In reply to Just what do you mean by that? » DAisym, posted by Racer on August 27, 2007, at 17:19:01
At least it was a question mark and not the dreaded "!" exclamation!!! Yikes! :(
Occasinally I have an idea or two worth sharing. I wish they weren't so few and far between these days.
'course - I'd also like to have a board dedicated soley (get it!!) to shoes. (or puns, take your pick. )
Posted by obsidian on August 28, 2007, at 0:21:59
In reply to Support Board, posted by DAisym on August 27, 2007, at 15:25:12
-obsidian (formerly sleepygirl)
aka 'girl of few words'
;-)
Posted by Racer on August 28, 2007, at 13:09:46
In reply to Re: Just what do you mean by that?, posted by DAisym on August 27, 2007, at 22:51:16
>
> 'course - I'd also like to have a board dedicated soley (get it!!) to shoes. (or puns, take your pick.Sole Survivors?
Sole Mates?
Rhythm and Sole? (Dancing shoes only)
Heart Full of Sole?
Any more?
Posted by DAisym on August 28, 2007, at 23:57:51
In reply to What would you like to call it? » DAisym, posted by Racer on August 28, 2007, at 13:09:46
I think
"chop shoey"
or
"If the shoe fits"
or
"For Shoeperheroes Only"
My son suggested "Big Bootie..."
(yeah...punsRUS around here) grin
Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 29, 2007, at 6:48:49
In reply to Re: What would you like to call it?, posted by DAisym on August 28, 2007, at 23:57:51
> > My son suggested "Big Bootie..."
>
> (yeah...punsRUS around here) grinI am glad my kids aren't the only ones! LOL I think you have a great idea about a support board. I just don't want it to turn into a hugs board though.
Posted by gardenergirl on August 29, 2007, at 9:56:58
In reply to Re: What would you like to call it? » DAisym, posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 29, 2007, at 6:48:49
> I just don't want it to turn into a hugs board though.
So you'd like to escSHOE hugs in favor of a higher depth of HEELing? ;)
gg
Posted by honore on August 29, 2007, at 11:35:33
In reply to Re: What would you like to call it?, posted by gardenergirl on August 29, 2007, at 9:56:58
Would that be the board where one could put one's foot into one's mouth without dire consequences?
Honore
Posted by Racer on August 29, 2007, at 11:42:02
In reply to Re: What would you like to call it?, posted by honore on August 29, 2007, at 11:35:33
Posted by 10derheart on August 29, 2007, at 13:35:04
In reply to Re: What would you like to call it?, posted by gardenergirl on August 29, 2007, at 9:56:58
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 29, 2007, at 20:09:28
In reply to Support Board, posted by DAisym on August 27, 2007, at 15:25:12
hi Daisy,
yeah, I wonder about that too sometimes. Where to go when it's not really the kind of thing I'd talk about to my socializing friends (on the social board) and not really selfesteemed, and not really to do with therapy discussions.God knows I'm guilty of invading all of the boards with mindless prattle in search of some kind of human connection...
mind you that I prefer my human connections via text and not via FOOT
unless it's footsie. I always enjoyed a frisky footsie.
Ll
Posted by karen_kay on August 31, 2007, at 8:12:49
In reply to Support Board, posted by DAisym on August 27, 2007, at 15:25:12
(((((shoes))))
(((heels))))
(((pumps)))
(sandals) <--- they're ok, not so fond of showing my flat feet thoughi think it sounds spendid!
the shoe one anyway. the support one's not so bad either! :)
miss you daisy. don't see you so often. (i'm serious about the shoe one too. got any good ones lately?)
(((daisy)))
kk
Posted by DAisym on September 1, 2007, at 20:06:09
In reply to yeah yeah!! » DAisym, posted by karen_kay on August 31, 2007, at 8:12:49
I think we could easily combine the shoe and support board. Our motto could be, "when you are too tired to keep going, sit down and buy some shoes!"
And think of the possibilities - We could "pump" each other up and help each other when we are feeling "clogged" up or stuck. We could also do some tongue and cheek writing, to cheer each other up.
There is a whole SHOEniverse open to us here. Let's make it happen!
(I miss you too, KK)
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 26, 2007, at 0:02:14
In reply to Just what do you mean by that? » DAisym, posted by Racer on August 27, 2007, at 17:19:01
> I think sometimes people are afraid to post something when they "only" want some petting, some comforting, some hugs. Having a place that everyone knows is safe would be awesome.
Ideally, it would be safe on every board to ask for comfort...
Bob
Posted by zenhussy on September 26, 2007, at 10:19:32
In reply to Re: Support Board, posted by Dr. Bob on September 26, 2007, at 0:02:14
Posted by DAisym on November 2, 2007, at 18:41:19
In reply to Re: Support Board, posted by Dr. Bob on September 26, 2007, at 0:02:14
No offense, but you kind of missed the point. Of course it is "safe" to ask for support on all the boards, but you also leave yourself open to opinions, discussion and dissention. As it should. I guess I was looking for a way to make it safe(r) for the responders -- on a support board you would, I think, know how best to respond. And one wouldn't have to overtly ask for support - it is implied.
And, ahem, we don't exactly live in an ideal world, now do we?
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 3, 2007, at 0:38:39
In reply to Re: Support Board » Dr. Bob, posted by DAisym on November 2, 2007, at 18:41:19
> No offense, but you kind of missed the point. Of course it is "safe" to ask for support on all the boards, but you also leave yourself open to opinions, discussion and dissention.
Oh, maybe I did miss the point. Are you saying it would be safer on a Support board because it would be just support and no opinions, discussion, or dissent?
Bob
Posted by Daisym on November 3, 2007, at 19:33:57
In reply to Re: Support Board, posted by Dr. Bob on November 3, 2007, at 0:38:39
Well...there might be discussion. But mostly it would be cyber hugs, commiseration, suggestions and general support. I think this came about because it started to feel, at least a little on the psychology board, that people were too fragile for a "spirited" discussion. It wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea - but it might help cut down the "I need to leave" or "I don't feel safe here" posts. I don't know.
But as a poster, it would be easier for me to squelch my natural inclination to say, "have you thought about it from this angle, or this...or this?" Sometimes I assume people want to think about things when all they really wanted was a hug. On a support board, I'd KNOW they want support. :)
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 4, 2007, at 11:55:13
In reply to Re: Support Board » Dr. Bob, posted by Daisym on November 3, 2007, at 19:33:57
> Well...there might be discussion. But mostly it would be cyber hugs, commiseration, suggestions and general support. I think this came about because it started to feel, at least a little on the psychology board, that people were too fragile for a "spirited" discussion. It wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea - but it might help cut down the "I need to leave" or "I don't feel safe here" posts. I don't know.
I know posters who start threads here have limited control over how those threads develop, but at the same time, responses that lead them to feel unsafe aren't in keeping with the mission of the site, either.
Would it help if posters were more clear about what sorts of responses they were looking for? And if they just didn't read "spirited" replies? A new thread could always be started for other discussion.
Bob
Posted by Daisym on November 6, 2007, at 1:38:51
In reply to Re: Support Board, posted by Dr. Bob on November 4, 2007, at 11:55:13
I take it from your response that you don't want to have a "support" board. I understand what you mean - I think you are thinking of folks being "unsupportive" vs. "only" being supportive. There is a difference, I believe and it stems from what the initial poster is looking for versus what the responder perceives. Again, it isn't always easy to come right out and say, "be nice to me, I'm fragile." I think many people have trouble with the "should's" or "oughts" -- they think they "should" be open to a discussion, particularly if they are posting about something.
I'm having trouble saying clearly what I mean. Perhaps an example?
Someone posts about getting yelled at because they are always late. They feel really bad about getting yelled at. They are hoping for "it is terrible that you were yelled at - you didn't deserve such treatment, etc." responses. Instead, they get, "try leaving earlier so you aren't late anymore," or "I yell at late people too," or "you must get some secondary gain by being late" kinds of comments. The initial poster isn't really looking for suggestions, nor are they up for being challenged. The responders think, "well then, why did you put it out here if you don't want help around it?" The board begins to struggle and then we have strife and conflict and no one posts. Or worse - we only post the most bland niceties...
anyway - thank you for thinking about it and responding. We'll work with what we have.
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 7, 2007, at 17:52:05
In reply to Re: Support Board, posted by Daisym on November 6, 2007, at 1:38:51
> it isn't always easy to come right out and say, "be nice to me, I'm fragile." I think many people have trouble with the "should's" or "oughts" -- they think they "should" be open to a discussion, particularly if they are posting about something.
I think that might be the issue. Is there some way we can encourage posters to say they're fragile or only want support or whatever if that's how they feel? It would be a good skill to learn, and they wouldn't use a new board, anyway, if they thought they *should* stay on Psychology.
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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