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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 33 to 57 of 77. Go back in thread:
Posted by gardenergirl on June 25, 2007, at 15:14:18
In reply to My (nm), posted by gardenergirl on June 25, 2007, at 15:13:59
Posted by karen_kay on June 25, 2007, at 15:31:26
In reply to Re: I really thought ... was just a gen. reference » Dinah, posted by Happyflower on June 25, 2007, at 14:20:13
does sorry not count for a thing anymore?
are you looking for dinah to kiss your *ss as well or what?
just sticking my nose where it doesn't belong and surely creatign more problems but for crying out loud cut her a break here, dinah's a good girl and very sweet and geez, she's the sweetest person i know and forgive me for coming to her defense but i do get a bit defensive of MY dinah,kk
Posted by sunnydays on June 25, 2007, at 15:32:39
In reply to God (nm), posted by gardenergirl on June 25, 2007, at 15:14:18
I started this thread, so I decree that no one else needs to post to it. :) I think that enough has been said. It really didn't turn out as I was hoping it would, so I'd like to just end it. I support the deputies and will thank them for their hard work. Admin can be a vicious place, and maybe I need to post my support for the deputies on social. Too much going on here that could cause people to react badly. I just meant that I wished Bob could step up and say thank you to the deputies publicly (all of them, although I thought his post to gg was very nice).
So this thread can stop now as far as I'm concerned, although obviously I have no control over it.
sunnydays
Posted by Happyflower on June 25, 2007, at 17:22:48
In reply to Re: I really thought ... was just a gen. reference » Happyflower, posted by Dinah on June 25, 2007, at 15:13:55
I did not quote you. That was your perception.
Posted by Happyflower on June 25, 2007, at 17:35:40
In reply to geez... » Happyflower, posted by karen_kay on June 25, 2007, at 15:31:26
I don't have a problem with you sticking up for a friend... but I didn't do anything wrong... but I will remember your comments...I thought you were a friend... but I was wrong... and that is okay...life goes on...
Posted by MidnightBlue on June 25, 2007, at 17:45:06
In reply to And of course it hurts worse, posted by Dinah on June 25, 2007, at 8:16:31
(((((DINAH)))))
Hugs! You are NO idiot! Now where would you get such an idea? You are a HUGE help here. I don't think this site would make it without you.
MidnightBlue
Posted by gardenergirl on June 25, 2007, at 20:03:28
In reply to Re: I really thought ... was just a gen. reference » Dinah, posted by Happyflower on June 25, 2007, at 17:22:48
Posted by karen_kay on June 25, 2007, at 20:14:05
In reply to Re: geez... » karen_kay, posted by Happyflower on June 25, 2007, at 17:35:40
entitled to state my own thoughts?
i just thought that perhaps you were being too hard on dinah dear. and saying it as i would to anyone else on this board. i show no particular special treatment to anyone. if dinah had said the same to you, i'd have said it right back to her. however, i'm quite certain dinah wouldn't say somethign like that to you. curious, isn't it?
am i not allowed to say what i think now? would you have preferred i kept my mouth shut? (i do have a hard time doing that dear. you of all people should know that.)
it's more to do with accepting an apology, especially a sincere one. why would you not choose to do so? that's what gets me.
remember it, write it down, take a picture. i don't give a sh*t what you do with it. if you want to get into a fight, why not fight with me instead dear? it'd be funner :) i'm cattier.
Posted by Happyflower on June 25, 2007, at 20:20:47
In reply to paraphrased, then (nm) » Happyflower, posted by gardenergirl on June 25, 2007, at 20:03:28
I didn't do that either.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 25, 2007, at 21:13:17
In reply to Re: paraphrased, then » gardenergirl, posted by Happyflower on June 25, 2007, at 20:20:47
Posted by Happyflower on June 25, 2007, at 21:32:49
In reply to Oddly reminiscent, then (nm) » Happyflower, posted by gardenergirl on June 25, 2007, at 21:13:17
sorry you preceive it to be.
Posted by karen_kay on June 25, 2007, at 21:47:54
In reply to Re: Oddly reminiscent, then » gardenergirl, posted by Happyflower on June 25, 2007, at 21:32:49
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20070605/msgs/765698.html
Posted by karen_kay on June 25, 2007, at 21:52:50
In reply to Re: Oddly reminiscent, then » gardenergirl, posted by Happyflower on June 25, 2007, at 21:32:49
*
Posted by Dinah on June 25, 2007, at 23:16:05
In reply to THE NERVE!!!!! » Happyflower, posted by karen_kay on June 25, 2007, at 21:52:50
C'mon guys. I shouldn't have said anything at all, and I really do regret it. But I really don't want anyone to get in trouble over trying to be supportive to me. I appreciate the caring, I really do. But having people get in trouble won't make me feel any better. In fact, one way to be really supportive to me is to keep things civil?
I'm just not sure what I can say to help here.
On my part there's no lasting hard feelings towards anyone. And I hope that's true of everyone else as well. I won't say anything too sickly sweet about community, but I'll likely think it.
Dinah, acting only as Dinah
Posted by obsidian on June 25, 2007, at 23:16:25
In reply to lame dot poem » confuzyq, posted by obsidian on June 25, 2007, at 1:16:57
so...I thought about this post and I suppose part of what it was about, and only part, is that sometimes (perhaps it's hard-wired) we are vigilant of possible ill intentions of others- and maybe we see it even when it isn't there...
a statement that is non-declarative (not speaking from one side or the other) is more readily misperceived in this way
and
I do think we like to argue, to find wrongs, to criticize....
why do we do it?
and we really tend to see evils in "authority"
is it a matter of convenience, a place to store the uncomfortable within ourselves?
I know in many places, especially institutions, like corporations, schools, hospitals, etc, the interpersonal dynamics get played out...the evil upper management for example (not that I'd argue with that ;-)
the "in crowd" vs the "out crowd"...whateverI wrote this because the deputies in my opinion are taking too hard a hit...and I do believe it is because bob is not around so much
it's easier to argue, be angry with, criticize a representation of someone rather than someone who exists in true form here on the boards.........sorry dr bob, but to me you are some strange entity presiding in some mysterious place over this strange babbleland
or perhaps it's just an occasional thought for you
but whatever it is, we are left to govern ourselves, we want structure and safety...and we find that the ones who would help to preserve it are also people who desperately want it themselves (I speak for myself here- and anyone who would identify)
I think we best own our humanity, our frailty, our ignorance, our mistakes....and then those of others
This post is not intended to "define" anyone in particular, but just reflects some things I have begun to think about the world in general
-obsid
Posted by karen_kay on June 26, 2007, at 0:09:00
In reply to Well now I feel even worse., posted by Dinah on June 25, 2007, at 23:16:05
and i can respect it as well.
no regrets doll. and i can end my fit now.
take care of yourself sweetie. my latest bride must look her best for the wedding, no?
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 28, 2007, at 12:23:27
In reply to THE NERVE!!!!! » Happyflower, posted by karen_kay on June 25, 2007, at 21:52:50
> are you looking for dinah to kiss your *ss as well or what?
>
> surely creatign more problems but for crying out loud cut her a break here, dinah's a good girl and very sweet and geez, she's the sweetest person i know and forgive me for coming to her defense but i do get a bit defensive of MY dinah> i just thought that perhaps you were being too hard on dinah dear.
> THE NERVE!!!!! » Happyflower
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused.
But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
Maybe next time defend Dinah by posting something positive about her?
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
PS: According to the current system:
previous block: 1 week
period of time since previous block: 4 weeks
uncivil toward a particular individual or group: yes
particularly uncivil: no
different type of incivility: no
clearly didn't understand PBC and made effort to reply: no
provoked: no
uncivil in multiple posts at same time: no
already archived: noIf we take 4 weeks, divide by 10, and round, that's a reduction of 0 weeks. If we apply that to your previous block, that's 1 - 0 = 1 week. And if we triple that, that's 3 weeks.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 28, 2007, at 12:23:33
In reply to obsid hates conflict......................., posted by obsidian on June 25, 2007, at 23:16:25
> Could you please do something to publicly acknowledge all the hard work that the deputies do for you, without pay or thanks. Maybe you thank them off the board, but I would think it would be nice for the deputies if you showed them just a little bit of on-board support. They work really hard for this site and it seems like all they get are continual criticisms and ever more work as you are around less. And if they decline to take on the work, the board suffers.
>
> I think it would be nice if you could support your deputies a little bit.
>
> sunnydaysI agree! I'm sincerely grateful for all the work the deputies do for me -- and for Babble. They enable me to have more balance in my life, and they enable Babble to remain a supportive community. It really is a hard job, and we're lucky to have volunteers who do it so well.
--
> I am trying to keep my comments civil, and sometimes that vagueness is because of the rules here. I am just trying to follow them because I understand them better than before. But this doesn't work either, because other innocent people get hurt in the process.
>
> HappyflowerThat's a good point, being uncivil, but vague, means *more* people may feel accused or put down.
--
> so...I thought about this post and I suppose part of what it was about, and only part, is that sometimes (perhaps it's hard-wired) we are vigilant of possible ill intentions of others- and maybe we see it even when it isn't there ...
>
> I do think we like to argue, to find wrongs, to criticize....
> why do we do it?
> and we really tend to see evils in "authority"
> is it a matter of convenience, a place to store the uncomfortable within ourselves? ...
>
> obsidianThanks for reflecting on this process. There are a number of angles that could be examined, including:
1. I and the deputies are vigilant for incivility, and others may model themselves after us.
2. People may be vigilant for "evil" in authority now because they've experienced it before.
3. We may also "hold" uncomfortable parts for others. Such as?
Bob
Posted by Happyflower on June 28, 2007, at 13:09:22
In reply to Re: conflict, posted by Dr. Bob on June 28, 2007, at 12:23:33
Dr. Bob!
You could teach philosophy! :-) Love the questions, I don't have any good answers though. What are your thoughts?
Posted by muffled on June 28, 2007, at 14:31:22
In reply to Re: conflict, posted by Dr. Bob on June 28, 2007, at 12:23:33
> > I think it would be nice if you could support your deputies a little bit.
> >
> > sunnydays
>
> I agree! I'm sincerely grateful for all the work the deputies do for me -- and for Babble. They enable me to have more balance in my life, and they enable Babble to remain a supportive community. It really is a hard job, and we're lucky to have volunteers who do it so well.**See a full thot chunk. Cool. Now thats refreshing, and its good to see public thanks and recognition. It helps I bet. And for Bob to have more balance in his(your) life...wow, one time in chat we were marvelling over that you even had a mother!!! You do seem rather not-quite-real therefore impermeable to hurt etc.....
(ROFL!!! the words omniscient, omipotent come to mind....LOL!)
>
> > I am trying to keep my comments civil, and sometimes that vagueness is because of the rules here. I am just trying to follow them because I understand them better than before. But this doesn't work either, because other innocent people get hurt in the process.
> >
> > Happyflower
>
> That's a good point, being uncivil, but vague, means *more* people may feel accused or put down.
*??so being UNCIVIL and vague is even worse than being outright uncivil? Is this what you are saying? Its unclear to me. Sorry. Guess it makes sense though, cuz then others, in our low self esteem ways, tend to take it upon ourselves...:-(
Oh, I just re-read it, what I think I was trying to figger, is that the way you wrote that makes it seem like you considered HF uncivil and is that civil???
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkk.
Seriously, I am getting a headache.
>
> > so...I thought about this post and I suppose part of what it was about, and only part, is that sometimes (perhaps it's hard-wired) we are vigilant of possible ill intentions of others- and maybe we see it even when it isn't there ...
> >
> > I do think we like to argue, to find wrongs, to criticize....
> > why do we do it?
> > and we really tend to see evils in "authority"
> > is it a matter of convenience, a place to store the uncomfortable within ourselves? ...
> >
> > obsidian
>
> Thanks for reflecting on this process. There are a number of angles that could be examined, including:
>
> 1. I and the deputies are vigilant for incivility, and others may model themselves after us.
>
> 2. People may be vigilant for "evil" in authority now because they've experienced it before.
>
> 3. We may also "hold" uncomfortable parts for others. Such as?
>
> Bob1. Now that IS interesting...I am learning bout modelling in relation to my kids. I think for me, I just hate it when people fight is all.
2.That is most likely true IMHO. I am not doubt NOT alone in my distrust of authority, cuz w/authority comes a certain amount of power (deputies here have very little IMHO) and humans being what they are, some abuse that power, and feeling powerless is a very frightening and sickening feeling....but that is in more of a cop context. Don't feel that way bout deputies. But Bob ....ummmmmm....well......hmmmmm...
3. Not sure what you mean here, but i been thru my 'I love to hate Bob' phase. And most definately YES, it was a place to put my negativities. Now that has calmed into just a general distrust...
That is MY take on those thots, I cannot speak ofr others.
M
Posted by Happyflower on June 28, 2007, at 14:59:25
In reply to Re: conflict, posted by Dr. Bob on June 28, 2007, at 12:23:33
Dr. Bob,
I think my vagness comment was taken out of context of my orginal post. You wanted to know about the preceptions of envy of deputies.
I wrote about my experiences of those preceptions of deputies. I didn't single anyone out, because that would be outright uncivil. But when I talked about my experiences, I just used "deputy" in the vague sense because not all my experiences were from all the duputies, and not all deputies made me feel the way I have at times.
So how do we discuss the preceptions of deputies, which is one of your ideas, without mentioning the deputies either as a whole or as indivduals?
After all didnt' you also imply that we felt "envy" of the deptuties? I know I dont' feel envy, and not all babblers feel that way. I am sure you didn't mean ALL babblers, right? But you had to use the vague form of babblers to explain what you were asking, right? Or am I off base?
Posted by confuzyq on June 28, 2007, at 20:54:39
In reply to Re: conflict, posted by Dr. Bob on June 28, 2007, at 12:23:33
> > so...I thought about this post and I suppose part of what it was about, and only part, is that sometimes (perhaps it's hard-wired) we are vigilant of possible ill intentions of others- and maybe we see it even when it isn't there ...
> >
> > I do think we like to argue, to find wrongs, to criticize....
> > why do we do it?
> > and we really tend to see evils in "authority"
> > is it a matter of convenience, a place to store the uncomfortable within ourselves? ...
> >
> > obsidian
>
> Thanks for reflecting on this process. There are a number of angles that could be examined, including:
>
> 1. I and the deputies are vigilant for incivility, and others may model themselves after us.
>
> 2. People may be vigilant for "evil" in authority now because they've experienced it before.
>
> 3. We may also "hold" uncomfortable parts for others. Such as?
>
> Bob4. Sometimes objections are valid but respect of explanation or accountability is not given, and this can disturb the peace. Moreso as it could so easily be avoided by mere admissions when just and logical, with no lists of possible issues on part of objectors appended. Reasons some authorities may exhibit this behavior include...?
Posted by obsidian on June 29, 2007, at 0:20:40
In reply to Re: conflict, posted by Dr. Bob on June 28, 2007, at 12:23:33
so...I thought about this post and I suppose part of what it was about, and only part, is that sometimes (perhaps it's hard-wired) we are vigilant of possible ill intentions of others- and maybe we see it even when it isn't there ...
> >
> > I do think we like to argue, to find wrongs, to criticize....
> > why do we do it?
> > and we really tend to see evils in "authority"
> > is it a matter of convenience, a place to store the uncomfortable within ourselves? ...
> >
> > obsidian
>
> Thanks for reflecting on this process. There are a number of angles that could be examined, including:
>
> 1. I and the deputies are vigilant for incivility, and others may model themselves after us.yes, I know what is expected on this site, and it sometimes keeps me from posting certain things
...but, I'd like to think that I'd stop and think anyway - the anonymity however might be too tempting ;-)> 2. People may be vigilant for "evil" in authority now because they've experienced it before.
my goodness yes! I have certainly experienced this...we learn to distrust those people who would be the ones we are supposed to "listen to"
we start to doubt their intentions, to test them and maybe finally to reject them
>
> 3. We may also "hold" uncomfortable parts for others. Such as?well now isn't this a complicated question?
well, let me see now....I'll just pick one thing : anger
for instance...I am not comfortable with anger..it makes me feel guilty, however if I am met with a despicable foe, full of malice and worthy of no compassion or consideration, then I can be angry as I want to be at them...and I need not feel badly about it (it is funny just how many people like these I can find ;-), but seriously
but who am I in this instance??
an innocent victim, exploited, with good intentions, with fleece as white as snow, saintly, virginal, all that good stuff, etc.
but where is my self-centeredness, my lack of concern for other people, my ignorance, my mistakes, the false assumptions I make??
so.... somewhere in between lies the truth
so back to my hating conflict...it would seem that resolving it would require some identification with the person with whom you are in conflict, an understanding of their understanding, a recognition of them in you...if they live on a whole other planet (or so it feels) then it isn't so likely
and if you are one of "us" and they are part of "them" well...
the antonym of "evil" is "righteous" which would seem to suggest to me that rage against what is "evil" can be considered sanctioned, can be "right", and then one can debate endlessly about what is "right"
....to summarize - I don't talk politics or religion unless I want to take on a very uncomfortable and conflictual position...uh... NOT!
Posted by Dinah on June 29, 2007, at 7:35:02
In reply to Re: conflict, posted by Dr. Bob on June 28, 2007, at 12:23:33
> I agree! I'm sincerely grateful for all the work the deputies do for me -- and for Babble. They enable me to have more balance in my life, and they enable Babble to remain a supportive community. It really is a hard job, and we're lucky to have volunteers who do it so well.
Thank you, Dr. Bob. I appreciate it.
Sometimes I wish for a bit more balance in my own life, so I understand that feeling.
> 3. We may also "hold" uncomfortable parts for others. Such as?
I'm a analytic dunce, so I really don't understand 3). Can you or someone who does understand it kindly explain?
Posted by scratchpad on June 29, 2007, at 8:23:23
In reply to Re: conflict, posted by Dinah on June 29, 2007, at 7:35:02
Dr Bob, my comments:
> > I agree! I'm sincerely grateful for all the work the deputies do for me -- and for Babble. They enable me to have more balance in my life, and they enable Babble to remain a supportive community. It really is a hard job, and we're lucky to have volunteers who do it so well.
>
> Thank you, Dr. Bob. I appreciate it.
>
> Sometimes I wish for a bit more balance in my own life, so I understand that feeling.
>Yes, this was nice of Dr Bob to say. I also agree that the deputies require balance in their own lives, which could perhaps be scheduled in? Dr Bob's presence here is seemingly random, but is that so? What if we knew for certain that he'd be reviewing the boards, say, on a weekly basis?
That might make for some balance in the deputies' lives.
Just a thought.> > 3. We may also "hold" uncomfortable parts for others. Such as?
>
> I'm a analytic dunce, so I really don't understand 3). Can you or someone who does understand it kindly explain?Yeah, I don't get the holding stuff either.
Thanks for reading.
sp
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