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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 18 to 42 of 55. Go back in thread:
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 10:57:59
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy!, posted by madeline on February 15, 2007, at 7:10:25
"There are times when I need to say that I hate my furniture, my boss, the weather, my therapist etc...
It can be very helpful just to vent and I usually get of insight from posters about the way I feel.Sometimes this is the only place where I get that."
I see what your saying too - sometimes its easier to vent on babble because of the anonymity -
& I do think there is a difference venting between objects/weather etc. than venting against a person/group of people.
However, babble FAQ also says that it's not necessarily civil to say something, although it might be therapeutic IRL.
Honesty is not held in the same regard as civility - so the same would apply for a rant/vent. You may need to say it, it may be true - you might feel better after saying it - but it falls outside of babble civility guidelines.
& for me, it's a conundrum - the only mitigating factor is a person on babble "might be offended" -but no one has a rule book as to what might offend any particular poster - no one is a mind reader - so the guidelines are extremely interpretative, in my opinion.
& yes, some posts do drip venom and hostility, even with a trigger - I do not understand why not even a "re-phrase" is not usually called for.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on February 15, 2007, at 12:38:54
In reply to civility versus honesty, including rants/vents » madeline, posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 10:57:59
I'm not saying we can't vent/rant about stuff, just we do it in a civil way.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on February 15, 2007, at 12:41:55
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy! » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Declan on February 15, 2007, at 2:08:41
I suppose....(about the boot thing). Yeah. But that doesn't mean we need to swear blind about it.
Well perhaps I'm quite mild mannered IRL, so civility things come naturally to me.
Can you pass the sugar please?
Yes, the weather has been postively tropical of late. Its only been -2C today, and believe me, that feels warm after the temperatures we've had!
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:02:45
In reply to Well...., posted by Meri-Tuuli on February 15, 2007, at 12:38:54
I dunno, sounds like an oxymoron to me.
Posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:03:50
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy! » Declan, posted by Meri-Tuuli on February 15, 2007, at 12:41:55
Does anyone care that I feel accused in this thread?
I feel like I deserve an apology
Deneb*
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:25:53
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy!, posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:03:50
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:28:57
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy!, posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:03:50
I feel it's unfair for you to demand an apology, especially given the nature of some of your distressing posts.
Do you care that people have repeatedly told you they uncomfortable and afraid for you?
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:34:24
In reply to + Deneb - » Deneb, posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:28:57
Posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:36:14
In reply to + Deneb - » Deneb, posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:28:57
> I feel it's unfair for you to demand an apology, especially given the nature of some of your distressing posts.
>
> Do you care that people have repeatedly told you they uncomfortable and afraid for you?I don't understand what that has to do with the current issues. I don't understand.
I feel accused. I just do. Please don't tell me what I should or shouldn't feel. It's invalidating.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:39:28
In reply to + I feel pressured and accused too. (nm) » one woman cine, posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:34:24
Sorry you feel pressured and accused.
Deneb*
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:40:09
In reply to Re: + Deneb -, posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:36:14
I'm not telling you what to feel or not to feel - just as you feel accused - others might feel pressured by you to give you an apology by your statement.
That's not fair either.
No one asked you to apologize, & I feel very pressured by the statement "I deserve an apology".
Posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:43:03
In reply to Re: + Deneb -, posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:40:09
> I'm not telling you what to feel or not to feel - just as you feel accused - others might feel pressured by you to give you an apology by your statement.
>
> That's not fair either.
>
> No one asked you to apologize, & I feel very pressured by the statement "I deserve an apology".I didn't write that. I wrote that I *feel* like I deserve an apology. I'm not telling people to apologize.
Deneb*
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:47:07
In reply to Re: + Deneb - » one woman cine, posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:43:03
That is not my impression of your post.
& I must re-iterate - this thread is not about you.
Posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:49:03
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy!, posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:03:50
> Does anyone care that I feel accused in this thread?
>
> I feel like I deserve an apology
>
> Deneb*I'm not saying this thread is making me feel accused. I'm saying I feel accused.
Deneb*
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:51:35
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy!, posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:49:03
Ok, if this thread isn't making you feel accused -then why do you feel accused? Please explain to me in concrete terms that I can understand.
How do you feel accused?
Posted by Declan on February 15, 2007, at 13:52:06
In reply to Re: + Deneb -, posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:40:09
Is it bad if we feel pressured?
O my goodness.
Posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:56:25
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy!, posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:51:35
> Ok, if this thread isn't making you feel accused -then why do you feel accused? Please explain to me in concrete terms that I can understand.
>
> How do you feel accused?I don't want to explain it. I'm not sure I can. I don't even understand it all myself.
Deneb*
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:58:33
In reply to Something, posted by Declan on February 15, 2007, at 13:52:06
"Is it bad if we feel pressured?
O my goodness. "
Um, in case you didn't know Bob made a "i feel pressured" ruling - a short time ago. Check the archives.
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 14:01:56
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy! » one woman cine, posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 13:56:25
Then I don't understand how you can say - you "feel like you deserve an apology" if you can't explain how you feel accused. How can someone apologize for something they did to you that you don't even understand yourself?
I confess - I haven't had coffee yet.
Posted by Deneb on February 15, 2007, at 14:05:40
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy!, posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 14:01:56
> Then I don't understand how you can say - you "feel like you deserve an apology" if you can't explain how you feel accused. How can someone apologize for something they did to you that you don't even understand yourself?
>
> I confess - I haven't had coffee yet.I'm sorry. I think my words made people feel bad again. I always write the wrong things. :-(
I dunno what to write anymore. I just want everyone to feel good.
(((((((((everyone))))))))))))
Deneb*
Posted by Quintal on February 15, 2007, at 14:08:40
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy! » Declan, posted by Meri-Tuuli on February 15, 2007, at 12:41:55
>Well perhaps I'm quite mild mannered IRL, so civility things come naturally to me.
I was just thinking that actually. Our mild-mannered, good-natured Meri........ I suppose my fiery temperament is bound to get backs up and lead to blockings from time to time.
Q
Posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 14:10:51
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy! » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Quintal on February 15, 2007, at 14:08:40
If so, welcome back.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on February 15, 2007, at 14:21:56
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy! » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Quintal on February 15, 2007, at 14:08:40
> Our mild-mannered, good-natured Meri........ I suppose my fiery temperament is bound to get backs up and lead to blockings from time to time.
That made me laugh out loud (not very mild mannered but hey). I'd rather be fiery. I'm too under-assertive.
Cucumber sandwich anyone?
Meri
Posted by fayeroe on February 15, 2007, at 14:33:30
In reply to Re: Well. This is all just crazy! » Quintal, posted by Meri-Tuuli on February 15, 2007, at 14:21:56
> > Our mild-mannered, good-natured Meri........ I suppose my fiery temperament is bound to get backs up and lead to blockings from time to time.
>
> That made me laugh out loud (not very mild mannered but hey). I'd rather be fiery. I'm too under-assertive.
>
> Cucumber sandwich anyone?
>
> Meriyes, please......pat
>
>
Posted by Declan on February 15, 2007, at 17:30:56
In reply to Re: Something, posted by one woman cine on February 15, 2007, at 13:58:33
Sometimes I feel that psychobabble is 'the expense of spirit in a waste of shame'.
Is that feeling pressured?
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