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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on January 24, 2007, at 20:25:17
Posted by Deneb on January 24, 2007, at 21:33:55
In reply to SOS Dr Bob (nm), posted by ClearSkies on January 24, 2007, at 20:25:17
I sent you an e-mail, I'm OK.
Deneb*
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 24, 2007, at 23:18:24
In reply to SOS Dr Bob (nm), posted by ClearSkies on January 24, 2007, at 20:25:17
Posted by gardenergirl on January 25, 2007, at 0:06:19
In reply to Re: SOS Dr Bob/CLEARSKIES IS A deputy (nm), posted by Fallen4MyT on January 24, 2007, at 23:18:24
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 25, 2007, at 0:30:38
In reply to Humminah? (nm) » Fallen4MyT, posted by gardenergirl on January 25, 2007, at 0:06:19
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 25, 2007, at 1:49:46
In reply to Cancel the SOS Bob, posted by Deneb on January 24, 2007, at 21:33:55
> I sent you an e-mail, I'm OK.
That's good. I wonder if it might be helpful for all of us to have some discussion here about SOS situations in chat? In general, without singling you out...
Bob
Posted by zazenduckie on January 25, 2007, at 7:47:46
In reply to Re: SOS situations, posted by Dr. Bob on January 25, 2007, at 1:49:46
http://dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061228/msgs/724627.html
Bob you missed my question above re SOS situations.
Don't forget to support the supporters. It can be hugely stressful for people to work with suicidal people.
Posted by Gee on January 25, 2007, at 9:20:45
In reply to Re: SOS situations, posted by Dr. Bob on January 25, 2007, at 1:49:46
So, any ideas how we could/should handle a situation like this in the future?
Posted by ClearSkies on January 25, 2007, at 11:26:25
In reply to Re: SOS situations, posted by Dr. Bob on January 25, 2007, at 1:49:46
I'd like some firm, clear cut guidelines as to how to respond to a suicidal poster.
We can ask them to get help IRL. Then what? What if the poster declines to do so, and continues to post about taking suicidal action?I have to believe that any expression of suicidal urges is genuine. We care, we tell them we care, we urge them to get help. And how do we best respond when the suicidal talk continues?
CS
Posted by zenhussy on January 25, 2007, at 12:17:36
In reply to Re: SOS situations - let's discuss, posted by ClearSkies on January 25, 2007, at 11:26:25
in the FAQ already: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#suicidal
Posted by ElaineM on January 25, 2007, at 12:18:00
In reply to Re: SOS situations - let's discuss, posted by ClearSkies on January 25, 2007, at 11:26:25
>>>>>I'd like some firm, clear cut guidelines as to how to respond to a suicidal poster.
We can ask them to get help IRL. Then what? What if the poster declines to do so, and continues to post about taking suicidal action?If the discussion is held privately (like just the team) then please include clarifying the "pressuring" rule (as discussed in a few threads above) as this deals with the same concerns that several of those who contributed to the "Threats Vs. Pressuring" thread were wanting help with earlier.
thanks, el
Posted by one woman cine on January 25, 2007, at 12:21:22
In reply to Re: SOS situations - let's discuss, posted by ClearSkies on January 25, 2007, at 11:26:25
> I'd like some firm, clear cut guidelines as to how to respond to a suicidal poster.
> We can ask them to get help IRL. Then what? What if the poster declines to do so, and continues to post about taking suicidal action?
>
> I have to believe that any expression of suicidal urges is genuine. We care, we tell them we care, we urge them to get help. And how do we best respond when the suicidal talk continues?
>
> CS
I have asked this question multiple and have not received an answer. Given the gravity of a situation where imminent harm seems likely, I'd like to know what steps will be taken IRL practical terms, not abstract arguments.I am uncomfortable when put into a potentially fatal situation without knowing what to do. It's doesn't feel fair to anyone involved.
(((Clearskies)))
Posted by one woman cine on January 25, 2007, at 12:27:13
In reply to Re: SOS situations - let's discuss » ClearSkies, posted by zenhussy on January 25, 2007, at 12:17:36
Posted by Gee on January 25, 2007, at 13:27:20
In reply to Re: SOS situations - let's discuss I second this.., posted by one woman cine on January 25, 2007, at 12:21:22
I feel the same way.
It's not like talking with a real life friend on the phone or even online. In real life, we know (more or less) where they live, their name, and touts les chose comme ca.
But on here, we do not have the option of calling EMS or the police if we feel someone is very much unsafe, or doing damage to themselves.
Posted by muffled on January 25, 2007, at 13:59:46
In reply to Re: SOS situations - let's discuss I second this.. » one woman cine, posted by Gee on January 25, 2007, at 13:27:20
Posted by Glydin on January 25, 2007, at 14:02:01
In reply to Re: SOS situations - let's discuss I second this.. » one woman cine, posted by Gee on January 25, 2007, at 13:27:20
Battle weary are crying out for help ....
I am worried it may never come and this will go on and on and on....
Basically, I don't like that this is my focus anymore on these boards - my issue - but I don't like it.
Posted by Deneb on January 25, 2007, at 16:45:06
In reply to Re: SOS situations - let's discuss I second this.., posted by Glydin on January 25, 2007, at 14:02:01
I was upset and overwhelmed with school and life. I wanted to escape life. I think I OD'd because I felt the distress centre didn't take me seriously. I think I kind of did want to go to the hospital when I told you guys about it. But then I took the actual OD and felt better, maybe because it was proof that I really was feeling distressed. I felt better and didn't want to go to the hospital anymore.
I wasn't going to the hospital, but then Gee suggested I call a nurse to ask if I was going to be OK. I didn't want to kill myself or harm myself too much so I called. The nurse told me to go to the ER. At first I didn't want to, but Gee and JYL were there and convinced me to go. I was scared I'd harmed myself.
I'm pretty sure I would have been OK even if I hadn't gone to the ER. I didn't feel sick while at the ER.
I just wanted to say that Babblers do make a difference, but I hope this never ever happens again because I don't want to hurt Babblers.
I just want to stress that I did not want to kill myself last night. It was a stupid episode of self harm.
(((((((((((Babblers))))))))))))) I know you care very much. I'm sorry I hurt you.
I love you all.
I'm kind of scared for myself now. I make all these promises to never OD again and then I do. I'm not sure what to do to protect myself. I'm scared.
Deneb*
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 25, 2007, at 19:18:45
In reply to Re: SOS situations - let's discuss, posted by ClearSkies on January 25, 2007, at 11:26:25
I hope you get it. I hope we get it. I think youre awesome (((CLEARSKIES))
> I'd like some firm, clear cut guidelines as to how to respond to a suicidal poster.
> We can ask them to get help IRL. Then what? What if the poster declines to do so, and continues to post about taking suicidal action?
>
> I have to believe that any expression of suicidal urges is genuine. We care, we tell them we care, we urge them to get help. And how do we best respond when the suicidal talk continues?
>
> CS
Posted by Deneb on January 25, 2007, at 20:09:00
In reply to Re: SOS situations - (((CLEARSKIES))) » ClearSkies, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 25, 2007, at 19:18:45
((((((((((ClearSkies))))))))))))
You helped me feel less alone. Thanks for going to chat with me. I'm sorry if I scared you.
Deneb*
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 26, 2007, at 7:53:57
In reply to Re: SOS situations - let's discuss I second this.. » one woman cine, posted by Gee on January 25, 2007, at 13:27:20
> We care, we tell them we care, we urge them to get help. And how do we best respond when the suicidal talk continues?
>
> CSOne option would be just to continue to tell them you care and to urge them to get help. But (Zen, thanks for the link to the FAQ):
> it would not, IMHO, be appropriate to reply angrily
>
> noa--
> I am uncomfortable when put into a potentially fatal situation without knowing what to do.
>
> one woman cineI think it's important to feel empowered to disengage from uncomfortable situations. Quotes in the FAQ:
> the behavior also does have the potential to anger me, maybe because it seriously pushes my own helplessness buttons. And break my heart though it might, I might have to withdraw from a discussion if this happens because I can't let my own inner resources be depleted.
>
> noa> Those that are not up to supporting suicidal posters need to recognize their own needs and take care of themselves.
>
> zenhussy--
> on here, we do not have the option of calling EMS or the police
>
> GeeI think it's important to accept that a disadvantage here is that it's not possible to help others "directly". Quotes in the FAQ:
> people can ... get a lot of support here, but it will never be the kind of support that will keep them safe when they cannot keep themselves safe.
>
> noa> My own decision about what to do to protect myself is to realize my limitations. There are only a very few people here who I have any possibility of physically helping.
>
> Dinah(This turns out also to be an advantage: because it's not possible to hurt others directly, either, it's safer.)
As mentioned above, however, there can be exceptions. If one poster told another where they lived, or how to contact their psychiatrist, they would give that poster the power to help them directly. And to hurt them directly, too, so the 1st poster would need to trust the 2nd. And with power comes responsibility, so the 2nd poster would need to be willing to accept that.
Bob
Posted by zazenduckie on January 26, 2007, at 8:12:46
In reply to Re: SOS situations, posted by Dr. Bob on January 26, 2007, at 7:53:57
Did you see my question?
What if a poster has emailed you his or her real name and location?
Or if you have that information from off board contact, babble parties etc.
Have you accepted responsibility for him or her in case of emergency on your board?
Sorry to be keep asking but it may be a matter of life and death some day.
Thanks for your efforts to help others on babble.
Posted by zenhussy on January 26, 2007, at 13:45:58
In reply to Re: SOS situations, posted by Dr. Bob on January 26, 2007, at 7:53:57
>>>As mentioned above, however, there can be exceptions. If one poster told another where they lived, or how to contact their psychiatrist, they would give that poster the power to help them directly. And to hurt them directly, too, so the 1st poster would need to trust the 2nd. And with power comes responsibility, so the 2nd poster would need to be willing to accept that.
Bob<<<
the power to help along with the power to hurt...both come with responsibility
what about the responsibility of owning up to the consequences of one's actions, or lack thereof?
since you did bring power into the conversation it got the ol' wheels turning and out popped this post
what about the admin's responsibility? now that there have been posts containing the possibility of session-like posting relationships beween admin and community participants this question becomes more interesting and more relevant to discussions at hand.
as for trust....is the agreement members sign when they join equivalent to [the collective whole of mankind] our placing trust in you with our confidential information? if so then you would be placed with a great responsibility....and you do accept that as you're running this board and new members join daily, correct? is this is an ongoing contract of trust for you, as admin/doctor, with the members of the community?....that viewpoint could arise, and possibly has, as this thread grows....
respectfully and in our limited verbal gymnastic way we can only communicate as best we're able....w/o the assistance of rephrases we're lost as to the communication styles required for civility.....this isn't a joke....this is serious and added here at the end to show good faith in trying to learn the ways of the Bob and the Hsiung at Babbledom.
This is the end of the thread.
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