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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tamar on October 15, 2005, at 19:17:44
Not sure who I'm hearing from...
Posted by Nickengland on October 15, 2005, at 19:29:41
In reply to Scambuster, what was your previous posting name?, posted by Tamar on October 15, 2005, at 19:17:44
Hi Tamar
I was thinking the same thing, reminds me of someone who said when they return we will not know who they are.
I read the archives alot alittle while back, there used to be this poster called 'whatever' back in 2001 as I remember reading about. He sounded familar to lots and lots of others who used to get blocked and post again.
I think there was a poster called 'so' who used to read the archives alot too, she would have had alot in common with Scambuster I think.
Interesting.
Kind regards
Nick
Posted by alexandra_k on October 15, 2005, at 22:56:33
In reply to Scambuster, what was your previous posting name?, posted by Tamar on October 15, 2005, at 19:17:44
though of course...
who the person is...
is irrelevant to the worth of their claims.
if it is a blocked poster
then that will be found out soon enoughin the meantime...
i think its an interesting discussion...
Posted by Tamar on October 15, 2005, at 23:08:46
In reply to Re: Scambuster, what was your previous posting name?, posted by alexandra_k on October 15, 2005, at 22:56:33
> though of course...
> who the person is...
> is irrelevant to the worth of their claims.> if it is a blocked poster
> then that will be found out soon enough
> in the meantime...
> i think its an interesting discussion...Actually I asked about a previous posting name because Scambuster posted to me over on Social. I didn’t recognise the name so I came to Admin to see if anyone had changed their name recently.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it…
Posted by gardenergirl on October 15, 2005, at 23:20:35
In reply to Re: Scambuster, what was your previous posting name? » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on October 15, 2005, at 23:08:46
> Actually I asked about a previous posting name because Scambuster posted to me over on Social. I didn’t recognise the name so I came to Admin to see if anyone had changed their name recently.
Yes, a similar post to me had me confused, as I am not aware of having a social or other type of relationship with said poster.
Someone else said they were scared by it, and I can understand that feeling. I get unnerved when someone suggests they know me, and I am clueless as to how.
gg
Posted by sal0805 on October 16, 2005, at 2:16:05
In reply to Familiarity » Tamar, posted by gardenergirl on October 15, 2005, at 23:20:35
I also felt a little afraid by it, but when I read the happenings on this board (above)- I became totally unnerved!!
Sabrina
Posted by verne on October 16, 2005, at 8:16:56
In reply to Scambuster, what was your previous posting name?, posted by Tamar on October 15, 2005, at 19:17:44
When we post on the social board aren't we inviting responses from strangers? How else would we ever get to know each other or "socialize"? - not that I think that's possible online, but that's another point.
There's always babblemail and private chat for those who want private conversations.
Verne
Posted by Gabbix2 on October 16, 2005, at 11:22:16
In reply to Re: Scambuster, what was your previous posting name?, posted by alexandra_k on October 15, 2005, at 22:56:33
> though of course...
>
> who the person is...
>
> is irrelevant to the worth of their claims.
>
> if it is a blocked poster
> then that will be found out soon enough
>
> in the meantime...
>
> i think its an interesting discussion...I agree, and funny I made the Socrates comment too, a few months ago, it was a bit more cryptic though I just said "Beware of those Hemlock Lattes"
Posted by Angela2 on October 16, 2005, at 11:30:43
In reply to Scambuster, what was your previous posting name?, posted by Tamar on October 15, 2005, at 19:17:44
My reaction to Scambuster's message to me was that he/she is someone who found this message board, lurked around for a while, decided they didn't like was they saw, and when deneb's post came up they just got p*ssed and this is how they are showing it. They think PB is b*llsh*t. I know other people who would think the same thing as scambuster about pb actually.
Posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 14:55:33
In reply to Social Board, posted by verne on October 16, 2005, at 8:16:56
> When we post on the social board aren't we inviting responses from strangers? How else would we ever get to know each other or "socialize"? - not that I think that's possible online, but that's another point.
>
> There's always babblemail and private chat for those who want private conversations.Yes, I’m aware of that. What I was perhaps less prepared for was cyberhugs from someone whose posting name I didn’t recognise. While my first response was to feel rather uncomfortable (because it seemed overfamiliar), it occurred to me that perhaps this poster was someone I’d previously encountered under a different name. And that’s why I came over to Admin to see if there was a change-of-posting-name message.
And to be honest I now feel even more uncomfortable about the post to me on Social, since it appears that this poster is someone with whom I have, in fact, never interacted and was therefore hugging me (if only virtually) without my knowing anything about him/her. Maybe I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable, but the fact remains that I do.
Tamar
Posted by alexandra_k on October 16, 2005, at 18:01:54
In reply to Re: Social Board » verne, posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 14:55:33
> Yes, I’m aware of that. What I was perhaps less prepared for was cyberhugs from someone whose posting name I didn’t recognise. While my first response was to feel rather uncomfortable (because it seemed overfamiliar), it occurred to me that perhaps this poster was someone I’d previously encountered under a different name. And that’s why I came over to Admin to see if there was a change-of-posting-name message.
> And to be honest I now feel even more uncomfortable about the post to me on Social, since it appears that this poster is someone with whom I have, in fact, never interacted and was therefore hugging me (if only virtually) without my knowing anything about him/her. Maybe I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable, but the fact remains that I do.Acts of kindness from random strangers...
Can lead to one feeling uneasyBut...
Do you feel a little flattered as well?
I think...
It was a compliment :-)
Posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 20:03:45
In reply to Re: Social Board » Tamar, posted by alexandra_k on October 16, 2005, at 18:01:54
> Acts of kindness from random strangers...
> Can lead to one feeling uneasy
>
> But...
> Do you feel a little flattered as well?No. I don’t feel flattered. I only feel uncomfortable. And I don’t usually feel uneasy at acts of kindness from random strangers… but this doesn’t feel like an act of kindness. It feels intrusive.
> I think...
> It was a compliment :-)I wouldn’t feel it was a compliment if a complete stranger hugged me in the street, and I don’t feel it’s a compliment if a stranger cyberhugs me. Maybe I’m unusual, but that’s just how I feel. I like to establish at least some kind of connection before cyberintimacy.
And as it turned out, it seems the poster in question was a blocked poster posting under a new name, as other people apparently suspected. So I definitely don’t see much of a compliment there. I find it rather creepy, actually.
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 20:43:12
In reply to Re: Social Board » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 20:03:45
> I find it rather creepy, actually.
Maybe this was indeed too strong. I should say that I felt spooked when I read the post in question.
Tamar
Posted by alexandra_k on October 16, 2005, at 20:47:12
In reply to Re: Social Board » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 20:03:45
> And as it turned out, it seems the poster in question was a blocked poster posting under a new name, as other people apparently suspected. So I definitely don’t see much of a compliment there. I find it rather creepy, actually.
?
Because one doesn't want hugs from 'those sorts of people'?Depends on how you look at it I suppose...
I cyberhug people without knowing whether or not I would feel comfortable hugging them IRL. In fact... I have been known to cyberhug people (and happily babble with people) who I think would majorly freak me out irl.But...
It is words on a page being displayed on your computer
For me...
A hug just means 'I care'
And I'm more liberal with them here
Because I don't worry about people taking them the wrong way...But maybe...
I should be worried.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 16, 2005, at 20:48:30
In reply to rephrase, posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 20:43:12
unnerved
unsettled
spookyi agree...
there is something a little...but i also really think...
that it is okay :-)
Posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 21:09:14
In reply to Re: Social Board » Tamar, posted by alexandra_k on October 16, 2005, at 20:47:12
Sorry Alex, I really want to be able to answer your post, but I just can’t right now.
It’s a very complicated issue for me, and I can’t seem to find a way of articulating it within the framework of the civility guidelines. I’ve tried… but I’m feeling too upset. I want to say how I really feel, which probably isn’t acceptable here.
I hope you’ll understand.
Tamar
Posted by gardenergirl on October 16, 2005, at 22:11:54
In reply to Re: Social Board » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 21:09:14
In my case, it's the suggestion of a prior relationship that I noticed and reacted to. It feels crazy-making to me for someone to post in a socially intimate manner to me when I've never heard of them before. It felt invasive to me.
Perhaps its more of an intuitive thing and not related to any actual words in a post.
gg
Posted by alexandra_k on October 16, 2005, at 22:35:39
In reply to Re: Social Board, posted by gardenergirl on October 16, 2005, at 22:11:54
> In my case, it's the suggestion of a prior relationship that I noticed and reacted to. It feels crazy-making to me for someone to post in a socially intimate manner to me when I've never heard of them before. It felt invasive to me.
yes...
i get that irl so i think i understand that one.
i guess... i've just becomed used to it.
Posted by JenStar on October 17, 2005, at 0:23:15
In reply to Scambuster, what was your previous posting name?, posted by Tamar on October 15, 2005, at 19:17:44
sounds like SO?
Posted by AuntieMel on October 17, 2005, at 10:05:48
In reply to Re: Social Board » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on October 16, 2005, at 21:09:14
I understand completely how you feel. I tend to think of this board as real myself and wouldn't cyberhug anyone I didn't think would welcome it.
But, I'm not a huggy person in real life either.
Posted by Tamar on October 17, 2005, at 14:32:37
In reply to Re: Social Board » Tamar, posted by AuntieMel on October 17, 2005, at 10:05:48
> I understand completely how you feel. I tend to think of this board as real myself and wouldn't cyberhug anyone I didn't think would welcome it.
>
> But, I'm not a huggy person in real life either.Thanks, AuntieMel.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 17, 2005, at 16:12:50
In reply to Scambuster, what was your previous posting name?, posted by Tamar on October 15, 2005, at 19:17:44
I think I see what you mean.
There was such a contrast between some posts that were very intimate...
And other posts in which the poster didn't seem to see or want to see the people involved. To see their perspective, to see their feelings.And so...
One may well be led to feel used
Or violatedI'm sorry I invalidated your feelings
Very sorry indeed
Sometimes...
It can be hard to know whether our emotions are rationally grounded or not
It is something I struggle with
Explanation in order to see whether they are justified responses to the present or not
I have immense difficulty...I apologise for dragging you into that.
Posted by Tamar on October 19, 2005, at 20:04:38
In reply to Re: Tamar, posted by alexandra_k on October 17, 2005, at 16:12:50
Hi Alex,
> I think I see what you mean.
> There was such a contrast between some posts that were very intimate...
> And other posts in which the poster didn't seem to see or want to see the people involved. To see their perspective, to see their feelings.Yeah, I guess that was a major part of it. The contrast.
> And so...
>
> One may well be led to feel used
> Or violatedI’ve been struggling for the right word for the last two days. And I think the word I want is harassed. I felt harassed… because harassment can often come disguised as a compliment, and I didn’t feel that the post to me was really complimentary because of the tone I perceived in the posts on Admin. You’re right: it was the contrast.
> I'm sorry I invalidated your feelings
>
> Very sorry indeedNo need to apologise! I didn’t think you invalidated my feelings. It’s OK for you to ask why I feel the way I feel. Sometimes it takes me two days to explain… I was just very upset about the situation, but I wasn’t upset at you.
> Sometimes...
> It can be hard to know whether our emotions are rationally grounded or not
> It is something I struggle with
> Explanation in order to see whether they are justified responses to the present or not
> I have immense difficulty...
>
> I apologise for dragging you into that.Again, no need to apologise. It’s an important issue. Sometimes our emotions aren’t rationally grounded. I still don’t know whether my feelings about Scambuster’s posts were rationally grounded, but I do believe I had good reasons for feeling I wanted to question his/her motivation once I discovered it was a blocked poster…
(((((Alex)))))
Take care,
Tamar
This is the end of the thread.
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