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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jay on October 22, 2004, at 8:17:35
Could it not be considered hurtful to make accusations and make people feel like they need to defend every word they say? I think people should be accountable for what they accuse others of, because the accusation can make one feel put-down as well. Could you possibly develop some policy around accusing posts and being held accountable to that? So much time on this board is consumed with 'he said/she said', especially with ones accusing or dwelling on certain posts. For example, I can't just call the police and expect them to charge somebody with crimes based on my own words, on a daily basis. Could you please clarify where you stand on the issue, and/or if there needs to be some type of policy around accusations? i.e. the amount of them you can make?
Thanks,
Jay
Posted by verne on October 22, 2004, at 9:00:09
In reply to Dr. Bob...Hurtful Accusations, posted by jay on October 22, 2004, at 8:17:35
There should be something in the site rules about posts that serve no other purpose than to provoke others.
I looked back through the archives and noticed that the same accuser repeatedly provoked an emotionally-charged negative response from those he publicly accused on the administration board and they, in turn, were blocked or left the site as a result. The damage is incalculable and this is called "support"?
Perhaps this is the experiment and what this site is really about.
verne
Posted by SLS on October 22, 2004, at 9:20:21
In reply to Dr. Bob...Hurtful Accusations, posted by jay on October 22, 2004, at 8:17:35
> Could it not be considered hurtful to make accusations and make people feel like they need to defend every word they say?
Perhaps there is no need for you to defend yourself. Maybe Dr. Bob can do that for you.
Would ignoring these posts provide the same result as spending time and effort defending yours? You could experiment. I think that if you maintain the civility of your own posts, you have nothing to worry about.
Of course, this might be more easily said than done.
- Scott
Posted by Fi on October 22, 2004, at 16:20:44
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob...Hurtful Accusations, posted by verne on October 22, 2004, at 9:00:09
Extra clarification, as one of the plse dont post from one of the people (lou):
There is a range of ways this happens, and certainly sometimes exactly what you described did happen
I wasnt in discussion with Lou before I posted, and my message wasnt motivated by being emotionally negative. I was motivated by thinking it was such a shame that he didnt show signs of implementing/having read some useful ideas from an expert (whose feedback to my message was v interesting for me).
I was surprised to get that particular response, as I expected requests for clarification. That doesnt make it 'better'- does make it more complicated re what sparks off a plse dont post.
I was pleased to read Lou's helpful reply to a poster on PSB recently - showed another aspect.
Of course, this may all be down to my own psychopathology- want to 'make things better' and am not comfortable with 'full and frank' discussions (what politicians call arguments!)As I have mentioned on another post that it also changes how I approach posting on PBA- much more thought and caution.
And oh heck, maybe its not so important?? Part of me thinks that its easy to get drawn into this more than it deserves.
What really matters to me is that the other PB boards continue to exist, and can provide a supportive setting. Both show every sign of continuing.
Phew!
Fi
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 23, 2004, at 6:26:43
In reply to Dr. Bob...Hurtful Accusations, posted by jay on October 22, 2004, at 8:17:35
> Could it not be considered hurtful to make accusations
> > I think there's some tension between administration and support. I can administrate better if people inform me about questionable posts, but that's inevitably somewhat accusatory.
> >
> > http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020627/msgs/6529.html> I can't just call the police and expect them to charge somebody with crimes based on my own words, on a daily basis.
>
> JayWell, in fact you can -- though they may not actually be charged...
--
> Perhaps there is no need for you to defend yourself. Maybe Dr. Bob can do that for you.
>
> I think that if you maintain the civility of your own posts, you have nothing to worry about.
>
> Of course, this might be more easily said than done.
>
> - ScottI think that's an excellent way to try to weather the vicissitudes here, thanks!
Bob
Posted by verne on October 23, 2004, at 8:01:04
In reply to Re: defending oneself, posted by Dr. Bob on October 23, 2004, at 6:26:43
> > I can't just call the police and expect them to charge somebody with crimes based on my own words, on a daily basis.> > Jay
> Well, in fact you can -- though they may not actually be charged...but you will, for making a false report or harassment.
This is the end of the thread.
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