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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 4 to 28 of 28. Go back in thread:
Posted by TofuEmmy on June 22, 2004, at 8:13:04
In reply to Aren't required or asked to tell old name, posted by Glydin on June 22, 2004, at 7:38:14
It's definately not a rule to announce who you used to be. It's just a courtesy I guess. Say I had a big nasty fight Chemistx who now hates my guts, then I change my name. He would want to know it's me, so he doesn't divulge personal details of his life to someone he hates, you know? (no we didn't have a fight...not yet anyhow...wanna rumble dude?)
Although I can understand that if people want to get a fresh start, this is one way to do it. It just feels sorta uncomfortable to me to not know who I'm posting to. To me, it feels like they are hiding something...and I'd never relax around them cuz I'd always be wondering....who the heck IS this?? I'm sorry if that's offensive in anyway, it's not meant to be, it's just how I feel.
When I recently changed my name, I posted here my old and new name so everyone knew who I was. So, if they hated me, they could continue to do so! :-)
If I wanted I clean start, I would just post, "Listen everyone, I was a dork, and I'm truly sorry. Let me start all over again with a new name. I am now going to call myself....."
TofuEmmy
P.S. On the issue of not be allowed to delete a post that revealed too much, and possibly exposed your identity, well....that's just wrong. Seems to me, that's part of the Admin's job...to help us when we goof up, to help us maintain our privacy, etc.
Posted by Glydin on June 22, 2004, at 9:27:53
In reply to Anonymous name changes, posted by TofuEmmy on June 22, 2004, at 8:13:04
This topic is certainly debatable and policies can be changed. It doesn't really matter to me one way or the other. I followed policy as it is written. I'm pretty convinced others change names and no alert at all is given.
Posted by TofuEmmy on June 22, 2004, at 9:39:25
In reply to Re: Anonymous name changes, posted by Glydin on June 22, 2004, at 9:27:53
Yup - surely true. Plenty of people change names and never tell anyone. You did exactly as Bob requested. Em
Posted by Glydin on June 22, 2004, at 9:53:04
In reply to Re: Anonymous name changes » Glydin, posted by TofuEmmy on June 22, 2004, at 9:39:25
That's meant very sincerely.
Posted by chemist on June 22, 2004, at 18:06:44
In reply to Anonymous name changes, posted by TofuEmmy on June 22, 2004, at 8:13:04
hello, chemist here....have i offended you in some way? i'm guessing you were using a variation of my posting name as an example, but want to make sure i have not rattled you in any way......all the best, chemist
> It's definately not a rule to announce who you used to be. It's just a courtesy I guess. Say I had a big nasty fight Chemistx who now hates my guts, then I change my name. He would want to know it's me, so he doesn't divulge personal details of his life to someone he hates, you know? (no we didn't have a fight...not yet anyhow...wanna rumble dude?)
>
> Although I can understand that if people want to get a fresh start, this is one way to do it. It just feels sorta uncomfortable to me to not know who I'm posting to. To me, it feels like they are hiding something...and I'd never relax around them cuz I'd always be wondering....who the heck IS this?? I'm sorry if that's offensive in anyway, it's not meant to be, it's just how I feel.
>
> When I recently changed my name, I posted here my old and new name so everyone knew who I was. So, if they hated me, they could continue to do so! :-)
>
> If I wanted I clean start, I would just post, "Listen everyone, I was a dork, and I'm truly sorry. Let me start all over again with a new name. I am now going to call myself....."
>
> TofuEmmy
>
> P.S. On the issue of not be allowed to delete a post that revealed too much, and possibly exposed your identity, well....that's just wrong. Seems to me, that's part of the Admin's job...to help us when we goof up, to help us maintain our privacy, etc.
>
Posted by Emme on June 22, 2004, at 18:16:08
In reply to Anonymous name changes, posted by TofuEmmy on June 22, 2004, at 8:13:04
Okay, that makes sense. I can understand wanting to backtrack and start over if one has put out too much personal info and has privacy concerns. It's just a little bewildering, that's all.
Posted by Emme on June 22, 2004, at 18:17:16
In reply to Re: Name changes » Emme, posted by yoshimi on June 22, 2004, at 3:58:22
> hi Emme,
>
> i've been posting here for years, i had to
> change my name because of privacy because i
> posted something identifyign a while back and its made it scary for me to post. if you have an email i can send to i would be happy to tell you what my old name is. thats for anyone. im sad i had to change my name, but they wouldnt delete the post i made, so i had no choice.
>
> yoshimi
Hi Yoshimi,I'm at xxx at yahoo
Emme
Posted by Dinah on June 22, 2004, at 20:03:20
In reply to Re: Name changes » Emme, posted by yoshimi on June 22, 2004, at 3:58:22
And I'm bullyforyou77 at yahoo, if you're so inclined. :)
Posted by TofuEmmy on June 22, 2004, at 21:45:35
In reply to Re: Anonymous name changes » TofuEmmy, posted by chemist on June 22, 2004, at 18:06:44
Oh golly jeepers no!! Actually, and this is funny, I tried to think of someone who I could use as an example who wouldn't take it personally! :-)
Nope, you have never ever ever offended me!
Emmy
Posted by chemist on June 22, 2004, at 21:49:02
In reply to Re: Anonymous name changes » chemist, posted by TofuEmmy on June 22, 2004, at 21:45:35
> Oh golly jeepers no!! Actually, and this is funny, I tried to think of someone who I could use as an example who wouldn't take it personally! :-)
>
> Nope, you have never ever ever offended me!
>
> Emmy
just checking :) tjm
Posted by yoshimi on June 23, 2004, at 4:20:42
In reply to Re: Name changes » yoshimi, posted by Emme on June 22, 2004, at 18:17:16
sent you all mail
yoshimi
Posted by Dinah on June 23, 2004, at 8:02:02
In reply to Re: Name changes Dinah and Emme » Emme, posted by yoshimi on June 23, 2004, at 4:20:42
I really do appreciate your kindness and will reply to your email when I get this migraine tamed.
Posted by AuntieMel on June 23, 2004, at 12:05:08
In reply to Re: Anonymous name changes » chemist, posted by TofuEmmy on June 22, 2004, at 21:45:35
Use me next time if you like. I can take it.
Posted by AuntieMel on June 23, 2004, at 14:18:01
In reply to Re: Anonymous name changes, posted by AuntieMel on June 23, 2004, at 12:05:08
Posted by TofuEmmy on June 23, 2004, at 16:55:33
In reply to above meant for TofuEmme (nm), posted by AuntieMel on June 23, 2004, at 14:18:01
Posted by gardenergirl on June 23, 2004, at 19:41:02
In reply to Cool!!! Let's rumble!! :-) (nm) » AuntieMel, posted by TofuEmmy on June 23, 2004, at 16:55:33
Posted by justyourlaugh on June 23, 2004, at 22:10:16
In reply to Name changes, posted by Emme on June 22, 2004, at 3:36:35
if a person wants to "change",
imo...it is for their personal reasons and not for me to judge or ask.
i dont think they are out to deceive other posters...and if a bad apple falls it will be seen sooner or later..
jyl
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 24, 2004, at 19:47:18
In reply to Re: Name changes, posted by justyourlaugh on June 23, 2004, at 22:10:16
> It just feels sorta uncomfortable to me to not know who I'm posting to. To me, it feels like they are hiding something...
I understand, but lots of people hide things, and I think being able to do so helps them feel comfortable here.
> If I wanted I clean start, I would just post, "Listen everyone, I was a dork, and I'm truly sorry. Let me start all over again with a new name. I am now going to call myself....."
I think that's preferable, but some people will be more forgiving than others...
> On the issue of not be allowed to delete a post that revealed too much, and possibly exposed your identity, well....that's just wrong.
>
> TofuEmmyI don't like to delete whole posts, but when people post something really identifying, like their real names, and then ask me to do something, I'll edit them.
> if a bad apple falls it will be seen sooner or later..
>
> jylI wouldn't call anyone a "bad apple" :-) but that's been my general philosophy, too.
Bob
Posted by zenhussy on June 24, 2004, at 22:07:51
In reply to Aren't required or asked to tell old name, posted by Glydin on June 22, 2004, at 7:38:14
> Under FAQ you are asked to express you aren't a new poster and not post with numerous ID's.
Some of us had to change our names before this rule went into effect.
And remember not everyone is posting under a new name to be deceitful. Imagine having to change names, have the sheriff's number available by all phones, change the locks on the house, have both the ISP and telephone companies block my addy and phone number from the harassment I had been receiving.
So please remember the battered women, men and children for whom safety trumps out letting everyone cyber in on the new screen names.
A few too many slips have happened inadvertently over the years ending with the previous identity/posting name revealed. If that happens in my case I will not be able to use this board again. My irl safety was at stake about a year ago and the few who knew who I was have guarded my identity with their lives as they remember the hysterical phone calls from me frantic after a 'domestic disturbance' or whatever the cops call it to trivialize assault.
I think Dr. Bob has addressed this somewhere in a post how he doesn't like to edit but will remove personal names or some type of obviously identifying characteristic. But you had better ask him as he updates his FAQ frequently and might already have this in there.
--zh
Posted by justyourlaugh on June 24, 2004, at 22:47:18
In reply to Re: Name changes, posted by Dr. Bob on June 24, 2004, at 19:47:18
my wording was wrong.
but it is hard to express in a few words,
how a person can hurt with intention because they are in pain..
i can understand lashing out..
thanks for brining this to my attention...
i will be more compassionate.
jyl
Posted by yoshimi on June 25, 2004, at 5:45:23
In reply to Re: Name changes, posted by Dr. Bob on June 24, 2004, at 19:47:18
When I posted my real name and wanted it deleted you refused.
Yoshimi
Posted by zenhussy on June 25, 2004, at 15:37:26
In reply to Dr. Bob this is not what you told me at all » Dr. Bob, posted by yoshimi on June 25, 2004, at 5:45:23
> When I posted my real name and wanted it deleted you refused.
> YoshimiYoshimi,
I can't post any commentary as I'm not usually within civility laws here but I can say that these links from the archives shed some light into the mystery that is the Bob.
My e-mail is over at open if you wish to contact me so that I can comment without fear of a year banishment.
It seems there isn't consistent protection of privacy after reading these links but that is merely *my* opinion.
--zh***November 13, 2000
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2606.html
excerpt from post: > Just wanted to let everybody know that I won't be posting anymore, ever again, on the net using my real name. Last night, my husband showed up all upset because a friend gave him a floppy with all my various posts to this site. Some were not even ones I made but were by someone with a similar name. So be careful in posting!I'm really very sorry about this. :-(
You have to give a name and an email address when you register, but:
1. The name doesn't have to be your real name.
2. The email address has to be a valid email address, but you don't have to give it when you post.In other words, you don't have to make your real name or your email address public.
Sorry again, but the price of liberty is eternal vigilance.
Bob***January 26, 2001
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20001124/msgs/330.html***January 27, 2001
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20001124/msgs/360.html
excerpt from post: > Although you did use single letters to denote posters, the illustration of the frames format shows [zh edited name of poster as the link shows enough]'s screen name in full, and I am wondering if this was intentional or not.Here's the deal. I wanted to include a screen shot, a picture is worth a thousand words, etc. But a real screen shot has the name of the poster. If I edit the web page, it's no longer authentic.
The answer (or one answer, anyway) is to use the actual web page, but to black out in an obvious way the name of the poster. But I just didn't think of that then.
***April 17, 2003
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030404/msgs/219971.html
excerpt from post: > I don't think people should be allowed to post information of any sort about other posters which has not appeared on the board all ready. There is no way to verify anyone's identity or the truth of these posts.Plenty of unverified information of other types is posted...
> I think it is a violation of the anonymity and privacy that helps make the board possible.
If it's something the person doesn't want shared, I agree, that's an issue, but to assume they don't want anything shared, I don't know...
Bob***December 30, 2003
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20031120/msgs/294666.html
excerpt from post: April 8, 2002: >Every now and then it appears that you've deleted a post. Is this actually what's happening, or have I misinterpreted it? If it is, how do you decide when a post needs to be deleted?It actually is happening. But there may also be times when you're misinterpreting. :-)
The main reason I delete posts is when they seem to me particularly disruptive. Or if I've already asked for a thread to be redirected...
BobNovember 26, 2002: I understand what you're saying, but I don't like to delete posts. Partly because this way "offers the advantages of clarifying the limits for others, modeling conflict resolution, diminishing any paranoia about activity "behind the scenes," and allowing others to contribute to the process" (from that CyberPsychology article).
Bob***June 3, 2004
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040602/msgs/353483.html
excerpt from post: This site is not currently considered research. Still, I may publish case studies on this web site or in a book or an academic journal. If I do, I may include example posts. I would, however, try to leave out identifying information.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 25, 2004, at 16:48:17
In reply to Dr. Bob this is not what you told me at all » Dr. Bob, posted by yoshimi on June 25, 2004, at 5:45:23
> When I posted my real name and wanted it deleted you refused.
Hmm, could you email me again? Was it a while ago? Maybe I hadn't yet decided to do it this way?
Bob
Posted by yoshimi on June 28, 2004, at 1:55:03
In reply to Re: not what you told me at all, posted by Dr. Bob on June 25, 2004, at 16:48:17
Hmmm, YES It was a while ago. I dont know what you decided when, its really hard to follow.
I have lurked this whole time and never seen you post that you changed your rules. I cant find the post now but believe me it was easily searched for back then. Its really too late now to do anything about it.
Would it have been THAT DIFFICULT TO JUST DELETE IT WHEN I ORIGINALLY ASKED???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
It would have saved me a ton of heartache, and you probably only would have had to press a few buttons, BOB.
Yoshimi
> > When I posted my real name and wanted it deleted you refused.
>
> Hmm, could you email me again? Was it a while ago? Maybe I hadn't yet decided to do it this way?
>
> Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 28, 2004, at 10:07:23
In reply to Re: not what you told me at all » Dr. Bob, posted by yoshimi on June 28, 2004, at 1:55:03
> Would it have been THAT DIFFICULT TO JUST DELETE IT WHEN I ORIGINALLY ASKED???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
>
> It would have saved me a ton of heartache, and you probably only would have had to press a few buttons, BOB.Delete your real name or delete your whole post? I don't like to delete whole posts...
I'm sorry about the heartache, but I think it's important for people to be careful about what they post...
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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