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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Meltingpot on February 21, 2016, at 12:05:54
I'm just wondering how people's depression affects them.
For me, I don't sob uncontrollably I just start feeling really scared all of the time, unable to concentrate, like this feeling that I've doing something wrong and I'm going to get caught out and told off. I also wake up with sudden feelings of dread and doom. The primary emotion that I feel isn't sadness it's fear!
Also, I'm always confused when people talk about depressive episodes where they get depressed and them come out the other side I function ok with medication and have done since the age of 35. I'm now 49, everytime I stop my meds I go back to the way I was at 35 when I felt suicidal, my situation can be totally different but I still feel as bad inside.
I don't understand it when people who have come though depression say that it has made them a better person and that they are stronger for it.
I wish I'd never suffered with it, I don't feel like I'm a better person or stronger person because of it and I'm not glad that I have suffered from it. Even if I was completely cured I would never want to go through it again. I feel haunted by how bad I felt, it worries me that my brain is naturally in such a state. If someone had asked me at the age of 35 whether I wanted to die or have the experience of suicidal depression. I think I would have chosen death. At least I would have died in ignorance.
Denise
Posted by SLS on February 21, 2016, at 12:40:10
In reply to Different strains of depression, posted by Meltingpot on February 21, 2016, at 12:05:54
Difficult time?
What triggered this?
Yes, there are different "strains" of depression. This has been recognized for a long time.
- Scott
Posted by Tabitha on February 21, 2016, at 15:54:50
In reply to Different strains of depression, posted by Meltingpot on February 21, 2016, at 12:05:54
> I'm just wondering how people's depression affects them.
>
> For me, I don't sob uncontrollably I just start feeling really scared all of the time, unable to concentrate, like this feeling that I've doing something wrong and I'm going to get caught out and told off. I also wake up with sudden feelings of dread and doom. The primary emotion that I feel isn't sadness it's fear!Hi Meltingpot. Wow, it sounds really miserable to have your brain producing fear that intense for no reason, and I'm sorry you have to experience that. I think you are correct in suspecting there are different types of depression. I don't primarily feel sadness, either. In fact if I feel sadness I take it as a sign of improvement, because sadness is an emotion.
I have had different flavors of depression over my life. The last one I would describe as just being utterly unable to feel hope, barely any ability to feel pleasure, and a non-stop barrage of self-criticism. With effort I could direct the self-criticism outward and get into criticizing everything around me, but I couldn't stop the onslaught.
>
> Also, I'm always confused when people talk about depressive episodes where they get depressed and them come out the other sideWhen people say that I assume they are talking about overcoming difficult life events as opposed to clinical depression. If you have not experienced it, I think it is very hard to comprehend.
>I function ok with medication and have done since the age of 35. I'm now 49, everytime I stop my meds I go back to the way I was at 35 when I felt suicidal, my situation can be totally different but I still feel as bad inside.
Me too, without the right meds I just relapse. If anything it's worse now than it used to be.
>
> I don't understand it when people who have come though depression say that it has made them a better person and that they are stronger for it.
>
> I wish I'd never suffered with it, I don't feel like I'm a better person or stronger person because of it and I'm not glad that I have suffered from it. Even if I was completely cured I would never want to go through it again. I feel haunted by how bad I felt, it worries me that my brain is naturally in such a state. If someone had asked me at the age of 35 whether I wanted to die or have the experience of suicidal depression. I think I would have chosen death. At least I would have died in ignorance.
>
>I agree with you, I don't think depression is a valuable character-building experience. The only thing I have learned from it is that I'm not entirely in control of my thought or moods. Which is interesting but I'd rather not have the personal experience!
Posted by baseball55 on February 21, 2016, at 20:29:12
In reply to Re: Different strains of depression » Meltingpot, posted by Tabitha on February 21, 2016, at 15:54:50
I know what you mean. Depression did not make me stronger. I don't get this idea that suffering makes you stronger. It seems this is only said by those who have never experienced the pain of severe depression.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on February 21, 2016, at 20:50:58
In reply to Re: Different strains of depression » Meltingpot, posted by SLS on February 21, 2016, at 12:40:10
when im depressed, i've noticed i kinda turn into a mute, i don't feel like talking, and feel like im the only on existing on the planet, everyone else is not able to connect even if they talk with me, ughhh i rerember that dreaded depression feeling helpless and only being an observer
Posted by Meltingpot on February 22, 2016, at 1:13:55
In reply to Re: Different strains of depression » Meltingpot, posted by SLS on February 21, 2016, at 12:40:10
Hi Scott,
I have gone through a difficult time, I came off my seroxat before Christmas, taking Zyprexa now and again to help with the withdrawal. I was actually doing ok for about 5 weeks and then I started getting bad again. I went back on the Seroxat and experienced excrutiating anxiety, I had to leave work one morning, fortunately the Zyprexa took care of this.
I'm feeling ok now (touch wood) and it has been 4 days since I took a Zyprexa, I'm just a bit worried that the Seroxat is not working as well.
Anyway, when I go through periods like this it always makes me think a lot about things and worry I suppose because I just don't understand what's wrong.Denise
Posted by SLS on February 22, 2016, at 7:35:21
In reply to Re: Different strains of depression, posted by Meltingpot on February 22, 2016, at 1:13:55
I have VERY often suspected that I was totally screwed. I was ALMOST convinced that there was something profoundly broken such that it could not be fixed. However, it was never logical that I could be sure of that. It was never logical for me to give up entirely if there existed even one more treatment left untried.
You depend on paroxetine emotionally. Do you think that this might be preventing you from exploring other treatments?
Q: Can you name ONE treatment that you know you haven't tried yet?
- Scott
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