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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Phillipa on August 3, 2013, at 10:02:28
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 3, 2013, at 6:46:11
Lamdage Silly me as been spelling your name lamadge so sorry for this error on my part. I am so sorry your parents got divorced. It sounds like it really hurt you. Phillipa
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 4, 2013, at 6:37:10
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me » Lamdage22, posted by Phillipa on August 3, 2013, at 10:02:28
I really dont want to be improved for the worse anymore by Psychiatry. I will restrain from pushing for changes. Especially changes toward taking more or new meds. That has led me into this anno 2010 rollercoaster of states of mind in the first place. I will, for the most part let the doctor do his job. I really dont want to stay in the hospital forever.
It remains to be seen if the 30mg of Parnate do or do not help me. I have serious doubts. It puts me in a fight or flight state of mind, way too alert and it seems to tend to put me into this extreme "im enlightened and have to save the world yesterday" state of mind. Which is really painful really.
Seroquel at 300 mgs keeps me out of undesirable states of mind and doesnt destabilize me, at least it either without antidepressants or with Effexor. So far. Dont like the Effexor too much. Id like to c*m when i have sex, more than one time a day if i want to.
It currently does not seem to be enough together with Parnate, but without it, it is.Of course no one, including myself, wants to hand me over to depression without any protection at all.
I think it may be a good idea for me to look, aside from the Seroquel that does help me, for mild alternative things to improve my state of mind and outlook. I know that Tryptophan is available here in the pharmacys. I know that in this hospital, they also sometimes use St Johns Wort although i would prefer either 5-htp or tryptophan.
I do not like the fact that Ssri type drugs kill my enjoyment in sex. I prefer substances that raise Serotonin throughout the body and the brain rather than changing neurotransmission like Ssri do.
I do not want to take an antidepressant that forces me to take anti-manics and/or higher doses of antipsychotics. To me, thats changing things for the worse.
I see that Tryptophan helps mild to medium depression and i know that there are no side effects to speak of really. I know that non-dopaminergic/adrenergic substances havent destabilized or psychoticized me in the past.
I would like to take the Seroquel/Seroquel prolong along with Tryptophan. I will ask my doctor what he thinks.
Fortunately or unfortunately, however you may see it, i get 10mg of Zyprexa tonight. But if Parnate (and it looks like it does) forces me to take more antipsychotics, then im not interested.
Thoughts?
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 4, 2013, at 7:25:06
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me » Lamdage22, posted by SLS on August 3, 2013, at 7:18:36
> How do you define the term f*ck*d up?
Emotionally and mentally damaged, without necessarily fullfilling criteria of legitimate psychiatric illness. If you think that these illnesses i have catapulted me into with harassing my dr. to give me Nardil are my only problem, you are wrong.
I had depression and anxiousness. Those where the Problems i carried to the doctor. Everything else i was diagnosed with.. they sent me home with that as an additional "gift".
I know doctors hate me for exposing how harmful their practice often is.
By f*ck*d up i mean emotionally damaged. Broken hearted, tormented. Having a wound that influences your whole life. Including the genesis of mental illness. F*ck*d up as the core of it.
> Perhaps it is best that you not make any major decisions right now. Your mental state is probably too labile and your outlook too changeable.
Scott, if i would always follow advice like this, i would be a permanent resident in the mental hospital and the doctor may call the shots for the rest of my life. You know that right?
Why do you give advice like this?
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 4, 2013, at 7:28:03
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 4, 2013, at 7:25:06
Its not my fault that Parnate causes me to be a nutcase.
I want to get off off that. Or at least to 25mg maybe instead of 30.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 4, 2013, at 7:35:32
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 4, 2013, at 7:25:06
Being labile doesnt mean you cant make ok decisions.
I made a killing on real estate pretty much in the midst of psychosis.Just saying.
Posted by Tomatheus on August 4, 2013, at 12:50:02
In reply to Psychosis or not: heres what i think now:, posted by Lamdage22 on August 4, 2013, at 6:37:10
Hi Lamdage,
I of course don't know the ins and outs of how Parnate has been affecting you, but I tend to think based on reading what you've written here as of late that your statements about feeling too alert, feeling like you're in a fight-or-flight state, and feeling as though you're enlightened and in need of saving the world while taking the medication are accurate. I think that the decision as to whether or not you should discontinue Parnate in favor of something else is one that should be between you and your doctor, and I think that it should ideally be done after both you and your doctor have carefully evaluated both the benefits you and others have noticed from the Parnate and the drawbacks that you and others have noticed from taking the medication. You've already noted some of the drawbacks that you've noticed since starting Parnate. In what ways do you think that you might be benefiting from the medication?
If a decision is ultimately made to discontinue Parnate, I think that tryptophan and 5-HTP might be among the antidepressant treatments that you'd want to consider, but I would also seek your doctor's input on how to proceed as far as the treatment of your depression is concerned. I would also probably take a look at what treatments you've responded well to in the past. You mentioned that Effexor brought on sexual side effects for you, but how was it as far as effectiveness was concerned? Might dosing be an issue? If I were in your position, I'd also want to evaluate what your depression looks like when it's untreated and the extent to which taking an antidepressant might help to reverse the symptoms you notice when you're not receiving any treatment. Might psychotherapy help? How have you responded to psychotherapy in the past?
I'm not sure that I have much specific advice to offer other than to get your doctor's input on how to proceed treatment wise and to ask yourself some questions (such as those that I posed) concerning your treatment. I do, however, tend to think that your odds of getting out of the hospital will probably be increased if you do something different than what you've been doing treatment wise. I might or might not be correct in this assessment, but I wonder about the extent to which the antidepressants that you've been taking might be doing more harm than good, and I tend to see doing something different as the most beneficial strategy to try in your situation. But as I said, I could be wrong.
As usual, I wish you the best of luck with your treatment.
T.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:23:55
In reply to Re: Psychosis or not: heres what i think now: » Lamdage22, posted by Tomatheus on August 4, 2013, at 12:50:02
Tomatheus, thanks, you always take alot of time to answer.
Well the Parnate really does brighten my mood.Maybe my flight of ideas and need to save the world were due to the stressors of changing hospitals.
What i certainly wont do anymore is diagnosing myself, even in my mind. I just tell the doctor about pleasant and unpleasant effects from what he prescribes. First time i came to the doc i really wanted those diagnoses of depression and social anxiety. Maybe i didnt assess myself correctly. Its bad enough other folks diagnose me as a lunatic, i wont do it myself ever again because thats not what i believe.
Who says that im a liar when im "psychotic"? Who is to say that voices dont exist? Who is to deem what reality really is? Isnt there an offchance that society is wrong in some ways, too?
I want to live in this society so i agree to treatment of what they deem undesirable or what is unpleasant to myself. But i dont agree to disencouragement and to pathologizing myself. Certainly antidepressants have some serious disadvantages for me even to the point of triggering "illnesses" i dont usually have. I really felt pretty ok on 300 Seroquel only. By the time we added antidepressants, i didnt feel it was enough though. Maybe i should lower my expectations a little.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:34:01
In reply to Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 3, 2013, at 6:14:43
I was even diagnosed hypochondriac about my mental health once. Maybe there is something to it.
Can you think of a better (or worse) idea for a hypochondriac than mental illness? There is no test for it, no certainty over wether or not it is really there.
So i can go on and have all the symptoms in the world. Nobody can look into my brain and tell.
Im kinda in despair.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:35:49
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:34:01
Sometimes belief in your illness is helpful. Sometimes, maybe in my case, belief in my sanity is more helpful. And more realistic.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:50:17
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:35:49
It is not helpful to me to believe in my insanity at all. And maybe, just maybe its a big hoax stemming from hypochondrism and failure of the Dr.
I already diagnosed myself with depression long before i met a dr about it.
Idk really. In a way i think we all are god, but not god himself.
I just want to investigate the idea.
Speaking of hypochondriac, i thought i had heart disease once.. i pushed my blood pressure up to 190 just out of anxiety i ate something wrong, which it turned out i didnt. 10 minutes in the hospital after speaking to the doc, BP was back to normal. If i can do circus like tricks with my BP, maybe i can do it with my mental health as well.
I think im fine really, just very stressed out and uptight.
I dont know but i do think its very possible.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:00:22
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 4:50:17
There is something about me, that just doesnt feel insane at all. I try to hold onto that as hard as i can.
How could a belief to be broken be helpful?Maybe its only partially the psychiatric systhem to blame but my hypochondrism.
That would explain alot. That would explain why i only got sicker from it. The more i researched about depression and saw myself in that, the more depressed i was. Reading on this forum didnt help that either. Maybe it was plain and simple homesickness.
So i got depressed to the point where i took Nardil. And this whole story that is well documented here started.
I never had symtoms of lunacy before that.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:02:49
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:00:22
And maybe, in my case, i can really just "snap out of it".
Im not saying i dont work with my Dr, i just keep that in the back of my head.
If this is true, the Guiness record of hypochondriac belongs to me. Lol
See i didnt loose my humour.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:07:22
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:02:49
I certainly should tell this my Dr?
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:16:21
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:07:22
Jesus christ, that would actually make sense in alot of ways.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:28:16
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:16:21
Idk whats more embarassing. Being as ill as my records suggest i am or just making most of all of this stuff up.
Id say mental health profs are probably hypochondriac magnets, just as mentally ill are psychopath magnets.
I have seen mentally ill people, i dont think im one of them, really. Thats why im so freaking angry at them, meining MH professionals. I want an illness to hide behind, i get it.
Once a nurse in the locked ward said to me, no, yelled at me: Stop hiding behind diseases that dont even exist.
She didnt mean mental illness doesnt exist, she meant that my so called mental illness doesnt exist. And all the nurses there said stuff like that to me. They didnt buy it.That would mean psychiatry is not a cult, it would just mean i have nothing to do there.. and im only harming myself because they support my hypochondrism.
Sounds about right. I am thrilled what my doctor will say. Prolly "dont admit this to anyone you mind freak" or sth. Lol
Somebody help me, i feel like an idiot.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:30:11
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:28:16
Somebody say im intelligent again. Hahaha
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:36:01
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:30:11
Should i tell him? I will certainly talk about this with family membrers first.
Posted by SLS on August 5, 2013, at 6:34:47
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 5:30:11
> Somebody say im intelligent again. Hahaha
You are intelligent again.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130730/msgs/1048151.html
You need some sort of intervention.
Tell your doctors? I think it would be in your best interests. They are not there to hurt you or take away your intelligence and creativity. You will still be able to help the world.
I really don't care if you want me to post to you or not. I find it difficult to watch you headed in the direction of psychosis without trying to make you aware of it.
It is the nature of your illness that you will be resistant to treatment. Will you tell your doctors what you are thinking and feeling? Probably not.
- Scott
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 7:57:00
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me » Lamdage22, posted by SLS on August 5, 2013, at 6:34:47
Scott, so what are you saying? Are you saying that my posts present intelligence but still are psychotic? Are you saying there is truth to it, but its still psychotic?
Just what is psychosis then? How can i have psychosis when im saying true things? I dont really know what you think of what i have written. And what exactly it is that makes you think im psychotic.
And what makes you think im intelligent or creative. Do you even think i am?
Psychosis is bad, intelligence good. Please elaborate!
I cant even really remember what i said exactly. Something about how Psychiatrists and partially society are doing harm in the world.
I think we do not quite understand eachother here. At least im unsure what to make of some of your posts.
Please elaborate.Im scared the doctor will punish me for what i think and feel during what you call psychosis.
How can i say intelligent things during psychosis. Isnt the nature of psychosis delusional and more related to extreme stupidity? And who decides whats real? Isnt that Gods job?
I want to come off Parnate, too. I dont like whats been going on at all. Especially that i need more APs than i used to. Any effect Parnate might have for mood and motivation are killed by AP anyway.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:05:12
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me » Lamdage22, posted by SLS on August 5, 2013, at 6:34:47
Do you think i should tell him bout my hypochondriac theory? Think i should. Also, should i tell him what exactly i thought and said on friday? Hmmm.
I called it "flight of ideas" and "thoughts going on with or without my will". Is that enough, or tell him more.
I could tell my therapist, too. She could tell him. I trust therapists more than pdocs. Idk. I dont really remembber what i said, it was pretty outrageous and it was painful to think that way over people. Was it false? Idk. Have to read again. :S
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:12:26
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:05:12
How do you tell whats psychotic when you cant say that what im saying is false?
I dont get it. I want to get off Parnate for sure. My Dr told me to take it this morning:(
Please make me understand what youre saying, scott.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:23:44
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:12:26
It feels more like a rush of truth to me, that is painful to recieve. I dont want to have it in this type of way.
But id like to know what it is exactly that i said, that leads you to believe im psychotic.
Do i think i am god? Yes and no. Not THE ultimate god for sure. Do i have "some of god" in me. I think so. Do i think im eternal? Yes. I dont think that our souls just go to nothing when we die. Do i sometimes think i am more intuitive and knowing than i am? Yes. Do i get into a rush of "truth". Yeah. Do i think too lowly of people sometimes? Yes.
Do i generalize too much sometimes and try to explain society just by my own experiences and have trouble looking at it from a neutral perspective? Yes.Whats the "psychotic" here? If you say im psychotic, id like to know what statements specifically you are refering to. Its not like i write pure BS when you say i am psychotic,
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:35:27
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me » Lamdage22, posted by SLS on August 5, 2013, at 6:34:47
Is everyone that questions Psychiatry or his illness psychotic? You cant just say "you are psychotic". I may make psychotic assumptions or statements, but i am Julian, not psychotic.
Im interested to hear what specifically you are talking about.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 11:45:57
In reply to Re: Parnate bad for me, posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 8:35:27
Interesting that you dont want to answer my questions. Maybe because you realize there is no reasonable grounds for you to call me psychotic?
Fun fact, scott. By my knowledge, you are not a doctor so you are not in a position to diagnose anything or anyone!
There is a certain human rights thing called freedom of thought, that many Psychiatrists and submissive patients like yourself dont like at all. Probably all of the people that fight and stand up for this right are psychotic as well, huh?
Dude, you just dont want to or can not receive what i say and consider the possibility that there is truth to it, because you are saturated by Psychiatric philosphy. Or should i say anti-philosophy? Anyway. Thats why you just discard what i say as psychosis.
I believe i am eternal. I believe we all are. I believe i am partially god, in the sense that we are made in the image of god and carry a "godly sparkle", that you can feel sometimes more, sometimes less. I dont really worry much about anything because i trust in God to take care of my soul. He will neither send me through needless suffering nor will he let me down. If he needs me to learn a lesson and it isnt possible without suffering, well then i have to go through that.
Another fun fact: I never had anything close to "psychosis" before i went to see the psychiatrist. I didnt have repeated thoughts that are bothering me, nothing really. I sat at the computer and used forums just like this one to find me a reason not to proceed with my life and get caught up by healing my "broken mind".
I had my diagnosis "straight" month before i saw the Psychiatrist. I self diagnosed. I tend to be a hypochondriac. I have catapulted myself into the Psychiatry world with a strong drug that i thought i needed because my friends left the USA and because reading about depression and other illnesses MADE me ill. This strong drug kicked off a rollercoaster of undesirable states of mind and outcomes.I will never know wether it is a real illness i inherently have unless i try to get away from Psychiatry and its grips.
Another fun fact: Antipsychotics have something called "discontinuation psychosis" as a side effect. Which is funny when you think they are supposed to heal you. The Psychiatrist doesnt want to give me Lorazepam because it is addicting. Of course all the other Psychiatric drugs and Psychiatric philosophy is not addicting at all. I dont need to worry about a thing right?
Only one time i tried to get off of Zyprexa i had a medically significant loss of reality. I had about 8 beers that night. It just may be that Psychiatry and its teachings have saturated my brain so much that i just hypochondriaced my way into this. Or it could well be that i had a mixture of alcohol induced Psychosis and discontinuation psychosis.With panic attacks it is said that the body doesnt produce that much adrenaline forever. When its exausted its over. Why should this not be the case with Dopamine?
Why should i have any mental illness at all? Out of nowhere? The pot that psychiatrists like to use as a scapegoat, i stopped smoking it 3 years before i took Nardil and many other drugs and subsequently got very ill.
It is ridiculous.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 11:53:07
In reply to You are not doctors., posted by Lamdage22 on August 5, 2013, at 11:45:57
They have discontinuation psychosis as a side effect. But they are not addicting at all. Because hey, its not a drug right?
I am the last person not to take my 300 mgs of Seroquel if i suffer too much otherwise. But i will always think that Psychiatry made me either ill or addicted enough so i have to take it.
Probably both. Thats something i want to change.But hey of course, it is part of my illness that i want to discontinue and resent treatment. Everything that Psychiatry cant explain without revealing its true face is part of all our illnesses.
Im not saying Mental illness is not real, i wouldnt know. But i seriously consider the possibility that my illness is not real. It doesnt feel real. And if thats true, why shouldnt other peoples mental problems be basically a hoax as well.
But hey, Psychiatry longs to erase critical thinking. You shall not think that way IE psychotic. Freedom of thought, bro. Psychiatry openly takes a duce on it. Malicious.
I cant only be sure i am right if i try to go off of it. If im healthy then, well then i have just exposed my whole "medical" history as a f*ck*ng hoax.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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