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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 23 to 47 of 76. Go back in thread:
Posted by floatingbridge on November 13, 2010, at 21:10:16
In reply to Lou's request-photrdhephahm » floatingbridge, posted by Lou Pilder on November 13, 2010, at 19:08:31
Hi Lou,
Good to hear from you. You know, when I wrote that comment about Catholics and Jews, I wasn't sure if it was in good taste. I'm sorry if you or anyone took offense.
The practice of any faith seems to be colored and affected by one's family's
practice. My Catholic family believed that God was an authority beyond question, though if you begged his mom, she might put in a good word.Some years later I came upon a different way of relating to God through mostly Jewish friends. Their families didn't feel
that a disagreement with God would break the relationship.I imagine it is possible that any faith can be practiced that way, with reverence, if one chose.
My post was based on subjective experience and nothing more.
I haven't been feeling too well these days, and so I'm not here very often. I hope this post helps clear up misunderstandings. Oh, and the number ten was rather random. Or wishful thinking. I'm not sure there are ten left.
Best to you, Lou. Hope you are well.
fb
Posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 22:30:47
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » Maxime, posted by floatingbridge on November 13, 2010, at 20:48:01
> Maxime,
>
> rTMS. I'm with SLS on that.
>
> Though I surely have wanted my brain replaced many times....
>
> Are you on a waitlist for rTMS?
>I guess you and Scott are right. It's just that I feel so desperate right. SO desperate. My Pdoc was supposed to get info to see if I could get rTMS done at the psych hospital. I think I will send him a email reminder.
Posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:14:19
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » polarbear206, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 18:25:30
It's amazing how receiving one nasty Babble Mail can set a person off. So much for so many months without cutting. I cut again tonight pretty badly. I am SO TIRED of this sh*t!
Posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:49:14
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:14:19
Lou, I posted a question to you in your shop in Faith. I want to get to the New Realm. It sounds like the best to be. If I have to die to get there, so be it. It's where I want to be.
Posted by floatingbridge on November 14, 2010, at 2:41:35
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:14:19
Hey Maxime, this will pass. I know tonight was painful.
All your months still count. They haven't been wasted.
How are you now? When you say badly, do you need medical help?
The crisis centre?
Write tomorrow.
Posted by Lou Pilder on November 14, 2010, at 6:20:32
In reply to To Lou - please go to your shop, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:49:14
> Maxi,
I am on my way there. It will open soon. You do not have to die before you live.
Lou
Lou, I posted a question to you in your shop in Faith. I want to get to the New Realm. It sounds like the best to be. If I have to die to get there, so be it. It's where I want to be.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on November 14, 2010, at 11:15:35
In reply to Lou's request-photrdhephahm » floatingbridge, posted by Lou Pilder on November 13, 2010, at 19:08:31
>You wrote,[...Sometimes I think I would have done better being rxxxxx yyyyyy....At least I could shake a zzzz...ten fffff mmmmmm would jjjj mm....].
Lou, why are you writing in code? Please can you write so that we can understand what you are saying.
Posted by floatingbridge on November 14, 2010, at 15:36:42
In reply to Re: Lou's request-photrdhephahm » Lou Pilder, posted by ed_uk2010 on November 14, 2010, at 11:15:35
How is the day going for you?
Posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 15:57:43
In reply to Let's go to the shop » Maxime, posted by Lou Pilder on November 14, 2010, at 6:20:32
I'm still waiting and it's getting dark out. I hope you will come soon.
Posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 17:59:41
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:14:19
Sundays are always the worst days of the week mood wise for me. Since I have been so down lately, today was almost unbearable. The one thing that kept me going was supportive Babble Mails from people here on the board. Not many about the crap that is on the Social Board right now, but just really caring messages ... and one insanely funny one that caused me to snort with laughter. Yes, I am very lady like.
Tomorrow I work. I hope it will go better than on Saturday when everyone could tell how bad I was feeling. A few of them hugged me after the class. I have to hide how I feel. I should be able to do that since that is how I was brought up. I need to be as professional as possible. I was professional on Saturday but my pain and depression showed through. I just told them I was having an off day. If only they knew.
I'm still really suicidal. Physically I feel like crap today, aches and pains, hot and cold.
I don't want to kill myself around the holidays.
Posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 19:30:47
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » Maxime, posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 17:59:41
I cut myself last night after receiving Babble Mails from a certain poster. I hadn't cut in a long time. I think I was more upset that I had resorted to cutting than the actual wound itself. Well, it's still bleeding tonight. I cut too deep. I can't take care of it tomorrow because I will be at work.
If I go to the ER now I will be there all night. It really needs to be cleaned and stitched. I guess I will wrap it up and go to the ER after work.
Self injury doesn't go over very well at the ER. They usually make me wait a very, very, very long time. No one in the ER understands why people do these things. I am seen as a parasite. I guess I am.
FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by floatingbridge on November 14, 2010, at 20:19:49
In reply to FML!!!! *trigger about self injury*, posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 19:30:47
Maxime,
I'm glad you posted tonight, and sorry you feel so much stress to perfom at work. No one will really know tomorrow. Sounds like you work with very kind folks who allow people space to be human, judging by the hugs.
I'm concerned about your wound care,
but don't have any advice :(Isn't someone at the ER trained in psychological issues? Well, you'd hope...
Is the er your only option?
((((*))))
Posted by SLS on November 15, 2010, at 5:26:42
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » Maxime, posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 17:59:41
> Sundays are always the worst days of the week mood wise for me.
Do you tend to sleep later on Sunday mornings? If so, the disruption of your circadian rhythm (phase delay) can very easily explain your feeling worse that day. The trick is to wake up at your regular time, and stay awake for at least 15 minutes. Subjecting yourself to bright lite during this time might be important, but I am not sure. After being fully awake for 15 minutes, you can then return to bed and wake up late without feeling so bad.
- Scott
Posted by B2Chica on November 15, 2010, at 11:54:11
In reply to Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by maxime on November 12, 2010, at 21:53:57
can you add neurontin for pain? (gabapentin?)
the reason my pdoc put me on that was cuz i was self-medicating with pain meds, and he said gaba works on pain receptors. and is for anxiety.
it is great for me.
i am SO glad to get off the xanax.Best wishes...
ps.. stay away from bridges please.
Posted by maxime on November 15, 2010, at 20:42:59
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » Maxime, posted by SLS on November 15, 2010, at 5:26:42
Yes Scott, I sleep in on Sundays. It's the only day of the week I can. If I wake up, I won't go back to sleep. Sigh. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. But I will try it this coming Sunday.
Posted by Cydnie on November 15, 2010, at 20:45:02
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by B2Chica on November 15, 2010, at 11:54:11
Oh God,Maxime, please babble chat me if you want, I promise that I believe so much I think I can empathize,and hope so much no one triggers that again. I've been a cutter too, and am also a chronic pain sufferer, but I want to talk about the cutting because this has always been so hard to deal with. You worried me when you wrote you cut deep. Please if you want to babble chat, tell me, and you can share your triggers, I would never want to do that. You are very much not alone, please write on. I'm here, and listening. We're all here. I don't know what the trigger was - I wanted to write to you quickly before my DH comes back. Please write in. Please keep writing!
Posted by maxime on November 15, 2010, at 20:45:38
In reply to Re: FML!!!! *trigger about self injury* » Maxime, posted by floatingbridge on November 14, 2010, at 20:19:49
I went to the ER to get my wound looked at. No gory details except to say that I got 15 stitches. The doctor was really nice and didn't make any comments about how I got the wound. Most doctors like to make snide remarks.
It really hurts right now. But I guess I deserve the pain since I did this to myself.
Posted by maxime on November 15, 2010, at 20:47:22
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by B2Chica on November 15, 2010, at 11:54:11
Hi Chica, I have tried Neurontin twice I think and both times the edema was so bad that I ended up in the hospital for a few days. Same with Lyrica.
I am glad you are off the xanax ;)
Posted by maxime on November 15, 2010, at 20:59:23
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by maxime on November 15, 2010, at 20:47:22
I received an email from my pdoc today. He said that the PDOC who is doing the rTMS is not accepting new patients. I cried so hard when I read that. One of my chances was just squashed. He is the only PDOC in my city who does rTMS.
My pdco also said that I could try the Desipramine.
Feeling really down and alone tonight. I hate night. Why does night have to exist?
Posted by floatingbridge on November 15, 2010, at 22:28:32
In reply to Re: FML!!!! *trigger about self injury* » floatingbridge, posted by maxime on November 15, 2010, at 20:45:38
I'm glad you received good treatment.
>
> It really hurts right now. But I guess I deserve the pain since I did this to myself.We don't deserve pain. No one does. It just happens because we are human.
(((big hug)))
Posted by hyperfocus on November 15, 2010, at 23:20:42
In reply to Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by maxime on November 12, 2010, at 21:53:57
Just want to say I hope you feel better. I don't have anything to offer besides what other babblers have said but I just want you to know I'm rooting for you. I know what it's like to feel like life isn't worth living - I've been in that place many times, believe me. It will pass, I promise.
Have you considered amitriptyline? It's an effective AD and sleep aid and very good for certain types of pain in small doses. You'll need an expert to manage you if you take it together with your Parnate though.
Posted by SLS on November 16, 2010, at 5:57:12
In reply to Re: FML!!!! *trigger about self injury* » floatingbridge, posted by maxime on November 15, 2010, at 20:45:38
> It really hurts right now. But I guess I deserve the pain since I did this to myself.
Do you believe that you deserve the illness that compelled you to act in this way?
I am curious to see how you reply to this question.
- Scott
Posted by morgan miller on November 16, 2010, at 16:40:38
In reply to Re: FML!!!! *trigger about self injury* » maxime, posted by SLS on November 16, 2010, at 5:57:12
> It really hurts right now. But I guess I deserve the pain since I did this to myself.
You haven't done anything to yourself. None of this is your fault. I really wish you could get in to see a therapist, any therapist.
Posted by floatingbridge on November 16, 2010, at 17:58:58
In reply to maxie » maxime, posted by floatingbridge on November 15, 2010, at 22:28:32
> We don't deserve pain. No one does. It just happens because we are human.
>
> (((big hug)))
>Hi Maxime
How is your day going? I wanted to temper my post a bit. My intention was to take the 'blame' out of the equation. As your friend, I stick up for you. You do not deserve pain, part of being human is to know pain, and being human we can set our intentions toward diminishing pain. Kindly as one would treat a child.
((((*)))))
Posted by Maxime on November 16, 2010, at 18:01:54
In reply to Re: FML!!!! *trigger about self injury* » maxime, posted by SLS on November 16, 2010, at 5:57:12
> Do you believe that you deserve the illness that compelled you to act in this way?
>
> I am curious to see how you reply to this question.
>
>
> - ScottHi Scott, this is so hard to answer. In the 1990s I was a victim of a ramdom act violence. I was raped and beaten beyond recognition. I still have not fully dealt with what happened and I suffer from PSTD. When I received a BabbleMail from someone saying that their husband was very mad with me and wanted to Babble Mail me, I freaked out! Flashbacks to the event. Zoned out and cut myself.
I do feel responsible for what happened to me that dark night in the 1990s. I was walking in a dark and secluded area. I should have known better than to walk in an area like that. If I hadn't been there, I would not have been raped and beaten.
Now I have PSTD and for I don't feel responsible for that. I can't. Even though I feel responsible for the event that caused the PSTD in the first place.
Does any of this make sense because it sounds confusing to me.
Maxie
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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