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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by SadNina on April 12, 2009, at 19:47:53
Hi Everyone,
My name is Nina. I am desperate and suffering tremendously. I have never before felt like I am fighting for my life like now and because it is about sadness, emotions, and possible opiate intervention I do it in silence. I really, really, really need some advice. I realize any advice I get on this forum is not medical but I have no other choice.
I cannot take my emotional suffering and mind tricks any longer. I am an adult survivor of abuse who has always loved life despite an enduring pain. I had big plans for myself until 4 years ago when my Grandmother who was basically like my Mother died suddenly and I was left to fend for myself. I became a stripper and had a nervous breakdown, since then I have tried therapy. Good therapy, which I payed for out of pocket and yet we didn't get anywhere because I am in so muc hdistress. I have tried Anti-depressants and know they don't work for me. I am not addicted to benzodiazapenes and have a disfunctional family that makes it very hard for me to think this through.
I want to try Subuxone because when I take any opiates for pain linked to my kindney stones, I feel normal. I get happy about things that I can't even remember how I ever got happy about htem before. I am suffering so horribly, I WANT TO DIE. When I take any opiates, i Just feel like oh my god, how could I have thought that way.
I am praying someone will get in touch with me about this subject and give me some advice.
I am crying as I write this because I know our culture lends itself to being able to forget about people, and I feel I am being pulled under and this is not what was meant for me. Please someone if you are concerned reach out to me, thank you.Nina
Posted by Sigismund on April 12, 2009, at 20:28:13
In reply to Someone please, stay calm, and help me., posted by SadNina on April 12, 2009, at 19:47:53
Search the site for buprenorphine.
I saw 372 results.
Posted by Cseagraves on April 12, 2009, at 21:12:39
In reply to Re: Someone please, stay calm, and help me. » SadNina, posted by Sigismund on April 12, 2009, at 20:28:13
Nina,
I am so, so, sorry to hear you in such pain. I wish there was something I could do more to help, but know that here you can find all the support you need. People here have helped me through so much and I know they can help you to.
For now all I can tell you is to try to keep yourself calm and know that life, no matter what is worth fighting and living for. You didn't mention your age, but I was a dancer to quite a while ago.
It might take some time, but there are meds and methods out there that will help you, you just have to be patient. This situation is not going to fix itself immediately. I have had to learn this the hard way also. It will be a struggle, but you have to remember the strong person that you are and you can defeat this.
I understand how you feel. I have days when I think I want to just end it all, but when I really think about it, I want to live, I just want what is going on with me mentally to stop so I can live my life outside of my house like a normal person. I also look at my children and know what ending my life would do to them.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE UP!!!! You have a purpose here and you will see it in time, but taking yourself out of the picture is not an option. Remember, it is a combination of mind, body and spirit. It's easier to give up than it is to fight.
Take a look at all you have been through and you made it this far. I know that life can seem very overwhelming. I have extremem GAD, panic and agoraphobia. I have tried every slew of meds and am still struggling to find the right one, but I will keep fighting until I do. There is an answer for you. Don't put a huge burden on yourself by trying to figure this out quickly. Take it one day at a time. Small baby steps. Try not to focus on the past or future right now. Just focus on the present. Stay in the moment and keep repeating positive thoughts to yourself. Do it enough and it will help drown out all of the negatives or at least be able to help you manage them better.
Tell yourself everyday that there is an answer and you will find. Put the good energy out there, not the negative.
All of us here are going through our own personal hells, but we will all get through one way or another.
Promise me that you will keep reaching out here. It will be of great help to you. The people here are very supportive and knowledgeable. It would help if you could tell us what you have taken and what your experiences were.
Believe in yourself and do not give up!
Courtney:-)
Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on April 12, 2009, at 21:30:15
In reply to Someone please, stay calm, and help me., posted by SadNina on April 12, 2009, at 19:47:53
Hi Nina,
I'm so sorry to hear your turmoil and pain. I can relate. I know this is a forum about medication, and you are asking for help along that vein, but once you have that figured out (and I see that others are giving you advice about that) and are stabilized/in less distress, you might want to look specifically for dialetical behavioral therapy (DBT). I am in it and can attest to how well it works for learning to tolerate distress and handle relationships. Often people who grow up in dysfunctional families, like myself, do not learn how to deal with and create boundaries, how to tolerate everyday stress, how to ask for what we need in later relationships, etc. I know you've tried lots of therapy and personally, I think a lot of therapists are not helpful because they don't help the client work on skills and coping. DBT is totally different. A therapist trained to do DBT is all about helping the patient learn to cope with real-life skills.
If you look up DBT, do not be put off by it having been developed for borderline personality disorder. It is used for many other diagnoses now, including PTSD and anxiety.
Good luck,
Amelia
> Hi Everyone,
>
> My name is Nina. I am desperate and suffering tremendously. I have never before felt like I am fighting for my life like now and because it is about sadness, emotions, and possible opiate intervention I do it in silence. I really, really, really need some advice. I realize any advice I get on this forum is not medical but I have no other choice.
>
> I cannot take my emotional suffering and mind tricks any longer. I am an adult survivor of abuse who has always loved life despite an enduring pain. I had big plans for myself until 4 years ago when my Grandmother who was basically like my Mother died suddenly and I was left to fend for myself. I became a stripper and had a nervous breakdown, since then I have tried therapy. Good therapy, which I payed for out of pocket and yet we didn't get anywhere because I am in so muc hdistress. I have tried Anti-depressants and know they don't work for me. I am not addicted to benzodiazapenes and have a disfunctional family that makes it very hard for me to think this through.
>
> I want to try Subuxone because when I take any opiates for pain linked to my kindney stones, I feel normal. I get happy about things that I can't even remember how I ever got happy about htem before. I am suffering so horribly, I WANT TO DIE. When I take any opiates, i Just feel like oh my god, how could I have thought that way.
>
> I am praying someone will get in touch with me about this subject and give me some advice.
> I am crying as I write this because I know our culture lends itself to being able to forget about people, and I feel I am being pulled under and this is not what was meant for me. Please someone if you are concerned reach out to me, thank you.
>
> Nina
Posted by Phillipa on April 13, 2009, at 0:12:02
In reply to Re: Someone please, stay calm, and help me. » SadNina, posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on April 12, 2009, at 21:30:15
Nina welcome to babble. Lots of good info on this site. So you're addicted to opiods. Seems some respond to opiods but they do develop tolerence and then your're in trouble. Sub is a good med. you have a pdoc? Clinic near you? As they can help you obtain this med. And you might also want to post on psychology also good people there also. Love Phillipa hang in there.
Posted by Zana on April 13, 2009, at 12:04:54
In reply to Someone please, stay calm, and help me., posted by SadNina on April 12, 2009, at 19:47:53
Keep posting, Nina. Let us know how you are today.
It is clear that you do need help and I think babble is one way of getting it. I also think you need to find a really good Psychopharm doc. Someone well-trained and open minded. Your therapist might know someone. You might find one through a hospital psych department. Sounds like you need to get some meds that help. I have been in therapy when I felt like dieing all the time and it does feel like it's going nowhere. I think it's the combination of a therapy that's right for you and meds that will pull you through this. Don't give up and don't be afraid to ask for help. I know it's hardest to get the energy together to be active on your own behalf when you need it the most. Baby steps are great. Do what you can. Don't lose hope. There are lots and lots of meds you haven't tried, therapists you haven't met, people who care.
But please, let us know how it is going.Zana
Posted by desolationrower on April 15, 2009, at 0:36:00
In reply to Someone please, stay calm, and help me., posted by SadNina on April 12, 2009, at 19:47:53
sorry you're going through this. not sure what else i can add as some others probably have more experience to relate but hope you can see something beyond the current distress. if you have any more questions about things i'll try to help.
-d/r
Posted by garnet71 on April 15, 2009, at 1:23:42
In reply to Someone please, stay calm, and help me., posted by SadNina on April 12, 2009, at 19:47:53
((((Nina)))) Sorry about your Grandma
You remind me of someone I know.
"I am crying as I write this because I know our culture lends itself to being able to forget about people, and I feel I am being pulled under and this is not what was meant for me."
I too know about dysfunctional families and have spent some holidays alone. Depression sux, but depression with no support is 10 x worse. I was all alone with depression for a long time, and if my boss at the time had not taken me under his wing, who knows what would have happened to me. Friends who have never had depression don't seem to understand as good as their intentions might be.
You need to find yourself a family, and the way to do that is to find some NA or AA meetings. They are a family and they will understand. Really-I've known a couple people in similar but unique situations as yours is, who were resued by NA/AA. Someone will take you under their wing - and that is what you need right now. Please don't try to tough it out alone.
This is the end of the thread.
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