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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by meltingpot on March 9, 2009, at 8:42:59
Hi,
I've been having a lot of suicidal thoughts lately but whilst I have Zyprexa I wouldn't act on them.
The thing is when I feel at my worst, all I want to do is just die and then I start to feel even worst because I wouldn't know how to do it. I think when I'm feeling at my worst suicide is the last thing and yet the only thing I want to do (well I suppose it would be the last thing I did)
I've thought about hanging myself but I have no idea how to tie a noose, then you have to find a high enough tree in the middle of nowhere to do it. I can't imagine scurrying in the woods in the middle of the night, especially when I'm at my worst. I have no incentive to do anything.
I thought about Carbon Monoxide poisoning but then I've read that cars with catalyst converters aren't good for that and I can't imagine being calm enough to just sit in the car and wait for death to come and get me. Also, I'd have to find somewhere really quiet and secluded to park my car.
I thought about parachuting and jumping but not opening the shute but then I'd have to do two days training before I could do a solo jump. Then you never know I might not die, some people survive falls.
Why does suicide seem so hard?
My friend had an elderly couple living next door to him, the were both in their 90s. The elderly gentleman died one night and then the lady said to my friend that she didn't intend being around for much longer. That same night she went to bed and didn't wake up.
I keep wondering what did she take that made it so easy.
I don't intend taking my life whilst there are drugs out there that help to some extent (although not as much as I'd like) but I'd like to know that I could do it if I chose to.
This probably sounds irrational but it would be a comfort to me to know if all else failed there would be another option.
I know we are not supposed to talk about such things on this board and I feel very guilty (especially when I think of my mum) even bringig it up but please babblemail me if you can offer any advice, as bizzare as this may sound.
Thanks....Denise
Posted by West on March 9, 2009, at 9:43:15
In reply to I need to know there is another option, posted by meltingpot on March 9, 2009, at 8:42:59
Denise
I know what you're going through. When you've been depressed for a long time it's hard to see the forest from the trees.
I really suggest you see somebody privately or if that is not an option check yourself into hospital. Please don't give up, you have a brighter future ahead of you.
West
Posted by Phillipa on March 9, 2009, at 10:53:02
In reply to Re: I need to know there is another option, posted by West on March 9, 2009, at 9:43:15
Denise have you talked to a doc about the thoughts? I will write you Phillipa
Posted by Meltingpot on March 9, 2009, at 11:25:12
In reply to Re: I need to know there is another option, posted by West on March 9, 2009, at 9:43:15
Hi,
I'm not going to give up right now. I just want to know the best most painless way (with drugs) if I did decide to.
Denise
Posted by Maria3667 on March 9, 2009, at 15:23:32
In reply to I need to know there is another option, posted by meltingpot on March 9, 2009, at 8:42:59
Hi Denise,
Well you sound pretty desperate!
If you really, really can't find your way out of this depression, you might want to try testosterone. (of course, always consult your GP before trying anything drastic!!)
I took it two years ago and it made me feel like a new person. Not so sensitive, more self assured, excellent sleep, etc. I could quit all my tranquilizers and AD within a few weeks.
FAQ's:
* Will it turn you into a man? Yes probably, when taken long enough & depending on the dose.
* Do you have to inject your self: yes, unless you find a nurse willing to do it for you. -> you could also try the gel, but I'm not sure it's strong enough
* Side effects? Yes plenty, i.e. weight gain, more hairs on chin, back of hands, around nipples, on buttocks, lowered voice, hairloss on head -> but this takes a couple of weeks/months. Also possible nasty effects on the heart due to higher 'bad' cholesterol.
* The best effects? Huge increase in libido (for the 1st time in my life I was sneakily watching porn movies on the web), mood brightening, more strength and duration at the gym.If it deters you from committing suicide it might be an option.
Other options: more psychotherapy, different medications.
Take care,
Maria> Hi,
>
> I've been having a lot of suicidal thoughts lately but whilst I have Zyprexa I wouldn't act on them.
>
> The thing is when I feel at my worst, all I want to do is just die and then I start to feel even worst because I wouldn't know how to do it. I think when I'm feeling at my worst suicide is the last thing and yet the only thing I want to do (well I suppose it would be the last thing I did)
>
> I've thought about hanging myself but I have no idea how to tie a noose, then you have to find a high enough tree in the middle of nowhere to do it. I can't imagine scurrying in the woods in the middle of the night, especially when I'm at my worst. I have no incentive to do anything.
>
> I thought about Carbon Monoxide poisoning but then I've read that cars with catalyst converters aren't good for that and I can't imagine being calm enough to just sit in the car and wait for death to come and get me. Also, I'd have to find somewhere really quiet and secluded to park my car.
>
> I thought about parachuting and jumping but not opening the shute but then I'd have to do two days training before I could do a solo jump. Then you never know I might not die, some people survive falls.
>
> Why does suicide seem so hard?
>
> My friend had an elderly couple living next door to him, the were both in their 90s. The elderly gentleman died one night and then the lady said to my friend that she didn't intend being around for much longer. That same night she went to bed and didn't wake up.
>
> I keep wondering what did she take that made it so easy.
>
> I don't intend taking my life whilst there are drugs out there that help to some extent (although not as much as I'd like) but I'd like to know that I could do it if I chose to.
>
> This probably sounds irrational but it would be a comfort to me to know if all else failed there would be another option.
>
> I know we are not supposed to talk about such things on this board and I feel very guilty (especially when I think of my mum) even bringig it up but please babblemail me if you can offer any advice, as bizzare as this may sound.
>
>
> Thanks....Denise
This is the end of the thread.
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