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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by utopizen on October 23, 2008, at 21:49:16
I know what clinical depression is, and always will know the difference, having experienced it. So I know where to benchmark things at.
At night, I feel guilty for not having completed things I put off all day, try to cram it in late at night, creating this vicious cycle of sleeping late after going to sleep at 2, maybe 4 AM, and not having much to show from it anyhow.
Maybe it's depression creep, I don't know... all I know is, I recall in college, this year, sophmore year, I was on Effexor, for a year, and it didn't do much for the social anxiety I was taking it for (I hadn't yet been depressed) but I do recall getting out of bed religiously each morning, at 7 AM, going to sleep same time, too... eating at regular meals (okay, I also was on meal plan, but still)... and just vaguely feeling like I would eventually rule the world.
Now I'm lucky if I wake up at noon, I do basically nothing, the 2 courses I do take, I am behind in, and it's just pathetic.
anyone on Effexor think it's realistic/worth it to bring up with my doc prospect of returning to it for another try? I want to feel like I felt when I was 19. I'm 25 now. I want to get out of a long rut... sort of remnants of a depression I had a few years back.
I want to wake up in the morning, and I want to feel like it's not a chore to do it. And when I near bedtime, I don't want to feel a burdensome dread over my shoulders about the mere prospect of entering bed to sleep.
I don't want to think of it. I use to hop into bed and sleep, because it was midnight, and that's when we slept in the dorms in college. I didn't have precipitating clouds of guilt over something so natural as sleeping.
Anyone on Effexor want to explain whether this is absurd for me to tie the drug to my pep level? I don't feel depressed when I talk to folks, I can feel pleasure still, unlike when I had nasty depression... but maybe it's still... low-grade depression?
Posted by Phillipa on October 24, 2008, at 0:20:32
In reply to I'm still in remission... but I have no drive., posted by utopizen on October 23, 2008, at 21:49:16
I stay up til 2am every night and sleep till 11 by choice as I like the night and hate going to sleep. No not on effexor are you bored? Just a thought. Dysthymia? Phillipa
Posted by azalea on October 24, 2008, at 11:00:27
In reply to I'm still in remission... but I have no drive., posted by utopizen on October 23, 2008, at 21:49:16
Are you currently taking any medications?
> I know what clinical depression is, and always will know the difference, having experienced it. So I know where to benchmark things at.
>
> At night, I feel guilty for not having completed things I put off all day, try to cram it in late at night, creating this vicious cycle of sleeping late after going to sleep at 2, maybe 4 AM, and not having much to show from it anyhow.
>
> Maybe it's depression creep, I don't know... all I know is, I recall in college, this year, sophmore year, I was on Effexor, for a year, and it didn't do much for the social anxiety I was taking it for (I hadn't yet been depressed) but I do recall getting out of bed religiously each morning, at 7 AM, going to sleep same time, too... eating at regular meals (okay, I also was on meal plan, but still)... and just vaguely feeling like I would eventually rule the world.
>
> Now I'm lucky if I wake up at noon, I do basically nothing, the 2 courses I do take, I am behind in, and it's just pathetic.
>
> anyone on Effexor think it's realistic/worth it to bring up with my doc prospect of returning to it for another try? I want to feel like I felt when I was 19. I'm 25 now. I want to get out of a long rut... sort of remnants of a depression I had a few years back.
>
> I want to wake up in the morning, and I want to feel like it's not a chore to do it. And when I near bedtime, I don't want to feel a burdensome dread over my shoulders about the mere prospect of entering bed to sleep.
>
> I don't want to think of it. I use to hop into bed and sleep, because it was midnight, and that's when we slept in the dorms in college. I didn't have precipitating clouds of guilt over something so natural as sleeping.
>
> Anyone on Effexor want to explain whether this is absurd for me to tie the drug to my pep level? I don't feel depressed when I talk to folks, I can feel pleasure still, unlike when I had nasty depression... but maybe it's still... low-grade depression?
>
Posted by utopizen on October 24, 2008, at 15:54:06
In reply to Re: I'm still in remission... but I have no drive. » utopizen, posted by azalea on October 24, 2008, at 11:00:27
maybe I am bored.
I have no idea what Dysthymia is. I've heard it thrown around here quite a bit. Atypical depression was what encapsulated what I am in remission from.
Since a kid, up until, say, last couple of years, I've always been a morning person. Although when papers came, I tested limits with all-nighters...
I was on Lexapro 30mg, but had no real reason to stay on it, and al it did since helping me into remission was give me lingering ED. So I went off it like in October. I'd say I felt about same before I went off it as I do now.
I'm on Desoxyn and Klonopin (for ADD + social anxiety). I wouldn't really read into these two meds that much... I've been on 'em when I was energetic and never encountered depression, and I've been on 'em when I was at my worst ever, and they really didn't change much mood wise for me either way. I do need Desoxyn to help me focus.
I have nowhere near levels of anxiety I had back when I was depressed... I'm actually quite grounded feeling, really... but it's helpful on occasion.
But the drive... maybe it's nostalgia, but, I had it. I would jump out of bed in the mornings in college. I would follow a routine. I would eat right. I would take breaks from studying without feeling guilty. I would sleep without feeling guilty.
tim
Posted by Phillipa on October 24, 2008, at 20:00:33
In reply to Re: I'm still in remission... but I have no drive., posted by utopizen on October 24, 2008, at 15:54:06
Since you're a morning person that is a problem. Dysthymia from the top of head is low grade deprssion some live with it all their lives and don't ever take meds. I didn't know the above about you. Sorry Phillipa
Posted by azalea on October 24, 2008, at 20:35:29
In reply to Re: I'm still in remission... but I have no drive., posted by utopizen on October 24, 2008, at 15:54:06
Klonopin could be causing the no drive, lack of motivation. What dose are you taking and how often? Is is something you take everyday or just in social situations?
> maybe I am bored.
>
> I have no idea what Dysthymia is. I've heard it thrown around here quite a bit. Atypical depression was what encapsulated what I am in remission from.
>
> Since a kid, up until, say, last couple of years, I've always been a morning person. Although when papers came, I tested limits with all-nighters...
>
> I was on Lexapro 30mg, but had no real reason to stay on it, and al it did since helping me into remission was give me lingering ED. So I went off it like in October. I'd say I felt about same before I went off it as I do now.
>
> I'm on Desoxyn and Klonopin (for ADD + social anxiety). I wouldn't really read into these two meds that much... I've been on 'em when I was energetic and never encountered depression, and I've been on 'em when I was at my worst ever, and they really didn't change much mood wise for me either way. I do need Desoxyn to help me focus.
>
> I have nowhere near levels of anxiety I had back when I was depressed... I'm actually quite grounded feeling, really... but it's helpful on occasion.
>
> But the drive... maybe it's nostalgia, but, I had it. I would jump out of bed in the mornings in college. I would follow a routine. I would eat right. I would take breaks from studying without feeling guilty. I would sleep without feeling guilty.
>
> tim
Posted by utopizen on October 24, 2008, at 21:32:32
In reply to Re: I'm still in remission... but I have no drive. » utopizen, posted by azalea on October 24, 2008, at 20:35:29
> Klonopin could be causing the no drive, lack of motivation. What dose are you taking and how often? Is is something you take everyday or just in social situations?
>I get rx'd it to take everyday, but honestly, I take it before classes, and I only have one where I would feel nervous in (other's like 12 kids, this one's 2x/week, with 30 or so, all rather "on my level"/smart enough to critique my ideas).
As for dysthymia, I've had a very happy childhood, and indeed, still am rather happy if I travel, as I recently did, to Europe or some place...
One of the ways I knew I was depressed for sure was, I was constantly tired/craving sleep all the time, but also, things I once took pleasure in I no longer did. But now I do take pleasure in doing the things that interest me.
It's just... about getting out the door, doing the work, not being a hermit in my apartment because I'm so lazy. I suppose being unemployed doesn't help, but I finally mustered the energy to call up a dog walking service today, and sent over resume... I only take two classes part-time.
Posted by brandlin on November 1, 2008, at 0:16:11
In reply to Re: I'm still in remission... but I have no drive., posted by utopizen on October 24, 2008, at 21:32:32
> One of the ways I knew I was depressed for sure was, I was constantly tired/craving sleep all the time, but also, things I once took pleasure in I no longer did. But now I do take pleasure in doing the things that interest me.
>
> It's just... about getting out the door, doing the work, not being a hermit in my apartment because I'm so lazy. I suppose being unemployed doesn't help, but I finally mustered the energy to call up a dog walking service today, and sent over resume... I only take two classes part-time.
>The only way I know that I didn't write this post is you referencing the dog walking service and resume, but other than that, I can relate exactly to how you are feeling. I feel like a walking Cymbalta commercial - tucked up on the sofa with my two dogs begging me to play with them, but I just don't want to. Like you, utopizen, getting up and doing the most mundane things seems to be a BIG DEAL for me, it's a task to pick up the phone and place a call to pay my cell bill, car bill, etc., and I have most definitely isolated myself, but when I do hear from people I would actually like to chat with, I do and I enjoy myself. I have to wonder how much of what I'm feeling is laziness and boredom and how much is depression, and I don't know how to differentiate. (Not to mention how much of it can be attributed to me starting Zoloft which seems to have zapped every last inch of emotion or reaction out of me and turned me into a robot.) Sorry for the rambling. Utopizen, how long have you been on Effexor and what is your dosage? I was on it about 3 years ago, and it took a good 6-8 weeks for me to reach maximum benefits. I'm sorry you're feeling so rough. :-( I know it's hard to get out and do things - even though you know it will result in you being happier/feeling better - because you just don't FEEL like it or just don't want to. Like I said, I can empathize with you... You should see my ever growing to-do lists. They're soon going to start needing chapters and volumes of their own. Hopefully Effexor will kick in soon for you.
This is the end of the thread.
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