Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by your#1fan on March 24, 2008, at 22:56:28
guys, its late, im so sorry, there has been something that has happened. I cant tell it here, but its pretty serious. Anxiety has skyrocketted to a Red zone....
I dont feel like waking up, but i gotta to put on my "happy" mask, act like everything is ok. People are mean to me, i hate it, and im not playing a victem either, its just how i let people confrount me, i let them run over me. What has happened is (if you go on social, idenity crisis there) my mind is blank, i've drained myself of energy, mainly because of this new situation im in (confidencial).
I would do anything to just change my life. Right now im on Prozac 40mg, Xanax (right now its helping me through a crushing time), Zprexa, and Restoril 30mg -- at night
I dont know, im runned down, its like when your in track, you lose your energy during the run, thats what i feel. And the "good" feeling of life, is going too.
Plus lately my attention span has been horrible, i cant pay attention to conversation much. Like i said, my life is a bottem point right now (not depression) just idenity, where im going to go, how im going to do it.
I miss people, and times where i was myself and not someone else. But you got to know that when im myself, thats the time im more prone to people attacking me. So i can't be myself ever, logically speaking.
I just need support, and im going to get back on but i need help..........im slipping from a rope, pull it quick!
Prayer, logic, reality, and the right state of mind is the best.
dealing with pain is whats going to get you out of a sink whole.
I dont want to lose my idenity....but im slipping....hard. Whats going to happen next? i dont know. I've said enough and i think your pretty tired of hearing me type.
Good Night, too all listeners...
your#1fan
Posted by your#1fan on March 24, 2008, at 23:16:24
In reply to Help Help Help....S.O.S, posted by your#1fan on March 24, 2008, at 22:56:28
Im up late, listen all my fears inside will come out at night. I am getting to doctor soon, i have to see psychiatric treatment because its the only hope, besdies the divine lord.
if you want to see the real me: i found me inside, this is what i am really with no masks on.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ioBSYKDnoOI
This is how i socialize with out any ego, mask or persona, i feel awful. This is why my life is so fake, because im afraid to take off my masks. And i dont want to be rejected im just please just help me.... but i do experience dissociation, and the real me comes out. The real me, the person that i forgot about. But you know i dont know whats going on.....im gonig to have to tell this to the doctor.
Im getting help and i know for the best that im going to be better, so please, keep in prayer.
Im so sorry for anything i've done.
help
Posted by nfc on March 25, 2008, at 7:05:12
In reply to Re: i dont know where i am, SOS, posted by your#1fan on March 24, 2008, at 22:16:24
hey
hang in there, read ur posts and wish there was something more i could do. Thats good that your getting to a pdoc soon and get to a therapist as well. my stuff has got me down too and the advice from others to give it some time works a bit. but yeah hang in there. we support you.
talk to u later
nfc
Posted by your#1fan on March 25, 2008, at 22:10:02
In reply to Re: i dont know where i am, SOS » your#1fan, posted by nfc on March 25, 2008, at 7:05:12
thank you so much.
I have some cathing up to do, this is my online mental place to come and talk about things. Im living new, im better, but i still suffer from anxiety attacks.
Thank you for responding. I just got on, its 11:09pm i usally post at night and listen to music, right now.
Thanks.
your#1fan
Posted by Molybdenum on March 26, 2008, at 6:00:26
In reply to Re: i dont know where i am, SOS, posted by your#1fan on March 25, 2008, at 23:10:02
Fan,
I know you suffer a lot. I know you've tried so many meds & docs too.
Personally, I'm not an exercise person but my pdoc told me that studies show it to have a genuine & significant anti-depressant effect. On a par with the drugs. Would that be something for you to try? Maybe go walking somewhere pleasant to help your mind clear out a bit or ride a bike - I love slacking off down the hills.
How about renting some DVDs. I'm sure you've got some fond memories deep in there that could be awakened by seeing a movie or 12. Don't rent "Pink Floyd The Wall" or probably not "Donnie Darko" either but you know what I'm getting at. "King Of California" is funny enough & there's a nut in it for us to relate to. "Talladega Nights" is funny. Plenty of crazies. And oh yeah - "Stranger Than Fiction". There's several nuts in there & morbid themes for us to enjoy but altogether a movie that should make you smile a lot more than not.
Hope You're Feeling Better Soon - that's another thing I've found out lately: when you lose everything the only way is up ;)
Posted by Molybdenum on March 26, 2008, at 6:08:04
In reply to Help Help Help....S.O.S, posted by your#1fan on March 24, 2008, at 22:56:28
Ok, another thing to try - two Pink Floyd tracks that ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL BETTER:
album "Atom Heart Mother", track "If"
album "Ummagumma (studio disc)", track "Grantchester Meadows"
Posted by Sigismund on March 28, 2008, at 23:43:18
In reply to Re: Help Help Help....S.O.S, posted by Molybdenum on March 26, 2008, at 6:08:04
What about Fearless from Meddle?
I've always loved that.
Posted by Molybdenum on March 29, 2008, at 21:32:18
In reply to Hey » Molybdenum, posted by Sigismund on March 28, 2008, at 23:43:18
> What about Fearless from Meddle?
>
> I've always loved that.A great track too plus no harm in "A Pillow Of Winds".....now how can these fail to make someone feel better?
:)
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