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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by capricorn on April 15, 2006, at 11:37:28
When i am in an emotional/stressed state i have marked tendency to become irrational and mentally 'all over the place'.I find it hard to think straight and experience what i would call a 'cognitive meltdown.
This will manifest itself in an agitated spewing forth of words in an ill thought out/disorganised
and somewhat hysterical way either in terms of speech in a face to face situation or the written word when interacting online.i can go to pieces over something and have
an intense emotional reaction and yet the next day or even hours later it's as if it never
happened.When it's happening though it is so accute. Sometimes when it gets very bad it builds up like a fever in the brain and then follows
the sensation of being awake and yet in a dream,unaturally peaceful.Sometimes there is a feeling of familiar things looking unfamiliar / as if visually things are being seen in through the distorted lens of an avant garde cinematographer.
When not stressed i am a reasonably articulate and intelligent 49 year old.
However when faced by events and situations i find stressful i seem to regress to being much younger than my 49 years.
Does anyone else experience this? Do you have any advice on how to cope with it/minimise the effect.
Posted by bassman on April 15, 2006, at 12:53:03
In reply to Irrationality and stress, posted by capricorn on April 15, 2006, at 11:37:28
At first it sounded like what a friend of mine describes when he becomes instantly upset and angry, which has been diagnosed as the manic part of him being bipolar. But then he feels really badly about what he's said or done, so bad fit. He's also as nice and humorous a guy as you'd ever meet. I'm really interested in what other people may come up with..
Posted by capricorn on April 15, 2006, at 15:54:54
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress, posted by bassman on April 15, 2006, at 12:53:03
> At first it sounded like what a friend of mine describes when he becomes instantly upset and angry, which has been diagnosed as the manic part of him being bipolar. But then he feels really badly about what he's said or done, so bad fit. He's also as nice and humorous a guy as you'd ever meet. I'm really interested in what other people may come up with..
Thanks for replying Bassman,
Aside of the above i have problems coping with criticism and rejection(real or otherwise) ie accute anger and over the top reactions only to feel like a total worthless sh*t when the anger etc has passed,anxiety that leaves me feeling mentally and physically wiped out that seems to come from nowhere,feel insecure/paranoid,either feel that i am emotionally dead or my emotions are too strong- that if i could touch them i'd get burnt by doing so.
I have often felt that the only time i feel alive is when i'm emotionally charged in a negative way.I can like people and then they do or say something and it feels as though they are my worst enemy and i can act hatefully towards them.
With regards to rejection my tendency is
often to reactively lash out in a mix of anger,fear, and paranoia and then when that subsides there comes the self realisation of what an awful person i am.
Inwardly i soak things up whilst outwardly being in extreme denial.I find that while a lot of things i do are ok they don't give me a great sense of fulfillment.It's like if food= inner fulfillment then i've got Prader-Willi(sp).Sometimes i will try and fill the
void by snacking and snacking in the hope that food will make it go away but it doesn't.
Posted by SLS on April 15, 2006, at 16:18:32
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress, posted by capricorn on April 15, 2006, at 15:54:54
Have you been evaluated for borderline personality disorder?
- Scott
Posted by capricorn on April 15, 2006, at 17:23:14
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress » capricorn, posted by SLS on April 15, 2006, at 16:18:32
> Have you been evaluated for borderline personality disorder?
>
>
> - Scott
Not been dxed with borderline but pdoc switched me from a schizoaffective/bipolar diagnosis to 'personality disorder' last year without specifying an actual PD.He made a particular point of telling me he had known plenty of people like me who were very intelligent and yet emotionally 5-15 but never came out with 'I think you have BPD'.
Posted by bassman on April 15, 2006, at 17:52:54
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress, posted by capricorn on April 15, 2006, at 17:23:14
I was embarrassed to ask if it was a personality disorder, but isn't it a charactersitic of personality disorders that people blame the external world and not themselves? Again, if you accept that, it's not a good fit...capricorn seems very much involved with the external world and willing to evaluate his/her role in it. The "I can love you one minute and hate you the next" is like BPD or HPD, though. I really wonder about the doc telling someone who is sensitive/volatile that they are 5-15 yo emotionally. Much nicer ways to say that without inflicting damage.
Posted by capricorn on April 15, 2006, at 20:16:54
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress, posted by bassman on April 15, 2006, at 17:52:54
> I was embarrassed to ask if it was a personality disorder, but isn't it a charactersitic of personality disorders that people blame the external world and not themselves? Again, if you accept that, it's not a good fit...capricorn seems very much involved with the external world and willing to evaluate his/her role in it. The "I can love you one minute and hate you the next" is like BPD or HPD, though. I really wonder about the doc telling someone who is sensitive/volatile that they are 5-15 yo emotionally. Much nicer ways to say that without inflicting damage.
I blame a dysfunctional childhood(reserved conservative father and neurotic problem drinking/alcoholic? mother lots of arguing,verbal
and very occasional physical abuse )+torrid time at an English public school for f***ing me up.
A succession of crap pdocs just made it all a degree or two worse so yes the catalyst for me being a 'f***ed up individual was external.
However my own response to such adverse external factors has most probably left a lot to be desired.I've got the inate intelligence to work out 'what's what' but at the emotional level it's a whole different ballgame.
Posted by Phillipa on April 15, 2006, at 22:35:20
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress, posted by capricorn on April 15, 2006, at 20:16:54
I relate the that completely bad childhood and no parents. I grew up on my own. Sad but true. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by gibber on April 16, 2006, at 1:23:19
In reply to Irrationality and stress, posted by capricorn on April 15, 2006, at 11:37:28
I can relate on some levels with your situation. When I feel stressed my mind can often fog over and words become difficult to put forth and my memory goes south. I'm a music teacher and this morning as I was teaching I was really having a hard time talking and was thinking this job is not for me and I'm not enjoying this at all. Then later in the day I could communicate much more easily and what I was feeling earlier in the day, which felt very real, seemed completely false. Later in the day the world visually seemed a bit brighter too. I'm not sure I can comment on the emotional aspects of this nor do I think I have any personality problems. It's mostly a cognitive and life perspective problem that doesn't really involve outwardly project anger, although when a student is having a hard time with a concept I either think I'm not a good teacher or I get angry at the student for being, um, stupid. Both are false but seem very real during the 'acute' phase of it as you say.
Posted by SLS on April 16, 2006, at 7:45:40
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress, posted by capricorn on April 15, 2006, at 17:23:14
> > Have you been evaluated for borderline personality disorder?
> Not been dxed with borderline but pdoc switched me from a schizoaffective/bipolar diagnosis to 'personality disorder' last year without specifying an actual PD.
Two drugs that help with BPD are Tegretol and Zyprexa alone or in combination. Personally, I would try using Trileptal instead of Tegretol. I know someone whose life was turned around with this combination of drugs along with psychotherapy. The drugs alone will probably help with impulse control and perhaps mood lability. If mood lability remains an issue, an antidepressant can be introduced.
- Scott
Posted by becksA on April 16, 2006, at 12:05:24
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress » capricorn, posted by SLS on April 16, 2006, at 7:45:40
capricorn - right now im working on a term paper due VERY SOON, so i want to get in touch with you more later about this, but i swear every word of that post looks like it came out of my mouth...
thanks
Posted by capricorn on April 16, 2006, at 13:04:10
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress » capricorn, posted by SLS on April 16, 2006, at 7:45:40
> > > Have you been evaluated for borderline personality disorder?
>
> > Not been dxed with borderline but pdoc switched me from a schizoaffective/bipolar diagnosis to 'personality disorder' last year without specifying an actual PD.
>
> Two drugs that help with BPD are Tegretol and Zyprexa alone or in combination. Personally, I would try using Trileptal instead of Tegretol. I know someone whose life was turned around with this combination of drugs along with psychotherapy. The drugs alone will probably help with impulse control and perhaps mood lability. If mood lability remains an issue, an antidepressant can be introduced.
>
>
> - ScottI am not on any drugs at the moment.Last combo was olanzapine and tegretol.Neither of which i was
able to take regularly for
differing reasons.Found it hard from a psychological perspective to take the tegretol as
i was switched to this after being on lithium for years and then being told the only thing they had me marked down for was dependant personality disorder.Intellectually i knew you do not treat DPP with mood stabilisers so emotionally got it into a 'eff you. if you say i've not got a mood problem then eff the tegretol.' state of mind.
Deep down i knew i had mood problems of a primarily reactive kind but as they'd said i hadn't i just went into full 'why should i take it?' mode.Zyprexa is by far and away the best drug i have ever been on in terms of therapeutic effect ie
reducing the dyshoria and having an emotionally calming effect.
Unfortunately i couldn't take it regularly as it made me feel like a zombie.Could have perhaps worked through this if i hadn't been looking after a wife with dementia and couldn't afford to be
operating at zombie level.
Of course on an emotional level the stress of
trying to do my best whilst being scared by it all pushed me into some really dark places and certainly exacerbated my symptoms.
Tried asking if they could titrate the olanzapine to get the best symptom effect with the least side effect but it fell on deaf ears.
Was taken off the olanzapine and tegretol in August last year about 3 wks before my wife died unexpectedly in hospital.Treatment if you can call it that consists of attending a few groups at my mh centre.Rambling group on a Tuesday morning .Gardening group on a Thursday morning and an all male discussion group
on Thursday afternoons.
The discussion group which is lead by my care co-cordinator follows the format of her asking all of us how we are and then we just informally chat about a variety of things at a 'coffee morning' kind of level.It's not unpleasant and, like the other groups, relieves the loneliness and isolation for a few hours.
Posted by Racer on April 16, 2006, at 13:38:44
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress, posted by capricorn on April 16, 2006, at 13:04:10
I have nothing useful to add, but I wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. That's got to be devastating.
Posted by ed_uk on April 16, 2006, at 18:52:33
In reply to Re: Irrationality and stress, posted by capricorn on April 16, 2006, at 13:04:10
Dear Capricorn,
>Zyprexa is by far and away the best drug i have ever been on in terms of therapeutic effect ie
reducing the dyshoria and having an emotionally calming effect.
Unfortunately i couldn't take it regularly as it made me feel like a zombie.Have you tried a less sedating atypical antipsychotic? Abilify is an example.
Regards
Ed
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