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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by med_empowered on November 13, 2005, at 23:14:56
OK, so I just talked to a friend...I asked "Do you think I should go to a shrink/go back on meds?" *PAUSE* Response: "Well..you seem to be doing better now than you ever did all those years on meds"
And you know what..she's right. I mean, some days I feel terrible--flat out, undeniably AWFUL--but it kind of balances out. I notice I dont have my hardcore panic attacks (shaking, sweating, etc.) anymore. I rarely consider suicide. I feel awful a lot, but I can pull through.
Could I have learned from all that time being "unwell"? Its like RD Laing's theory that psychosis has something to teach us....Jung thought the same thing, too...could it be that maybe my experiences with mental illness have actually made me a *better* person? Current theory holds that psychosis is bad for you, etc. etc. But what if..what if Jung and others were rights; what if psychosis, and severe anxiety, and severe depression could **sometimes** (obviously, not always) be good for you? I mean, its not as if my life is perfect and I'm happy as can be, but my problems are more manageable now than they've been in a long time. I can sleep without medication, leave my house without medication...I don't get panic attacks, I don't get psychosis....
Maybe I'm better off than I thought? Maybe...maybe now, instead of going to a shrink, I should just work on improving my life (friends, school, job, etc.) and see how that goes? Maybe...maybe all those years on hardcore medications did more harm than good?
Who knows.
Posted by Reggie BoStar on November 14, 2005, at 1:32:42
In reply to Maybe I am OK?, posted by med_empowered on November 13, 2005, at 23:14:56
After 10 years of struggling with psychiatrists, therapists, useless medications, and bizarre treatments (e.g. ECT), I think I have to agree with you - all of that effort did more harm than good. Rather than making some progress, though, as you seem to be doing, I have this awful feeling that I'm all on my own with no support that works. I see my regular MD tomorrow. Hopefully he can help me, but after all my experiences with the psychology folks, I doubt it.
Well, I'm old now anyway. What's the point? I'll be gone in a short while regardless.
What a totally pointless life.
Posted by med_empowered on November 14, 2005, at 3:29:02
In reply to Re: Maybe I am OK? » med_empowered, posted by Reggie BoStar on November 14, 2005, at 1:32:42
hey! don't feel bad...your life hasn't been pointless, I'm sure; besides, there's enough left of it that you can certainly end on a high note. I sometimes feel that way, too--like there's no support, like there's no safety net. Then I remember how much the "support" offered me (hospitals, drugs) really felt more like control, maybe even punishment-- and I realize that maybe I'm better off this way. Besides, the more I think about it, the more I come to think that the mental health profession has been damaging by reducing my faith in my own abilities, both in terms of intelligence and talent, and in terms of my ability to handle life and life's challenges w/o professional or chemical assistance. I guess you could say I lost the Zoloft and found myself.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 14, 2005, at 17:59:22
In reply to Maybe I am OK?, posted by med_empowered on November 13, 2005, at 23:14:56
sounds to me... like med_empowered is becomming self_empowered :-)
bravo. really. this is something... that i am recently coming to myself as well. that... the mental system has (in the final analysis) probably resulted in my being harmed more than being helped.
don't get me wrong - some clinician's really were very helpful to me. it is just that other clinician's... harmed me so very much.
i had been fighting for treatment for a while... a matter of years... and finally... i came to the place where i was starting to think... maybe... i was better off without them. and then... i was terminated anyway. was told that i function too highly to qualify for treatment. hmm. that set me back. i railed for a while. raged for a while. for giving me diagnoses with horrible predictions for my future etc. then cutting me loose to fend for myself. to try and come to grips with this... to try to recover from this by myself.
but... i think i really am better off by myself. i made up a mantra a while back...
i don't need them
i don't need them harming me anymore
i don't need their horrible predictions about the course my life is going to take
i don't need them running me down
i don't need them anymoreand i really do believe... (mostly... mostly) that i do not need them anymore. that they harmed me more than they helped me.
don't get me wrong, things are really very tough sometimes. i struggle. my mood goes way down... something feels like it snaps... but... i come out of it. i come out of it faster with a little help from my friends and i come out of it slower being locked up being told those negative messages those judgemental messages about my future etc.
i think...
everybody finds that life is tough sometimes.
i think...
that that is 'normal'.
i think...
that i probably struggle more than most.
but i think...
i am better off dealing with that with a little help from my friends
and i am better off not trying to deal with those judgemental bastards who just made me feel worse about myself and my life.
thats not to say that maybe sometime i'll need their help again...
maybe sometime i will get into a really bad place and not come right
and i'll need their medications or something.but it is to say that...
in general...i'm better off without them.
and maybe... you are coming to realise... that you are too.
there is nothing wrong with us except the point that we may well struggle sometimes and struggling can be horribly painful sometimes.
i reckon...
i'm okay.
and i'll bet...
that you are okay too:-)
Posted by Phillipa on November 14, 2005, at 23:15:18
In reply to Re: Maybe I am OK? » med_empowered, posted by alexandra_k on November 14, 2005, at 17:59:22
Med, so glad to hear that. You are a definitely intelligent, gifted person. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by willyee on November 15, 2005, at 0:00:43
In reply to Maybe I am OK?, posted by med_empowered on November 13, 2005, at 23:14:56
I dont think any of these medications have proved there worth scientifacly.In that regard i can understant why people would choose to step away from these drugs.
I am not the same person i was at 18 when i took my first med,i trusted a "doctor".In hinds site knowing what i know now i would have challenged many avenuse before considering these drugs.
No matter how much tom cruise goes on the air,or how much pharm manf run commercials,the TRUTH is we have come next to no where in understanding emotional disoreders.
With that i dont think anyone choosing to opt for medication cause although not a cure it is something that helps them feel less pain.
I also dont see a single thing wrong with someone ready to and wantin to bury the idea of medication.
How someone can strongly debate to either side i dont understand,we just dont know.
All us lamen folk can do is sit wait and hope someone out there is doing some real research,and at the same time try to save the ones we care about to the best of our ablitys.
And when u see someone u love in pain,agony tears,you will consider all options even drugs to help them.
I will admitt im envious to anyone who can do it med free,i tried,i went a year off them and it was just so hard,i spent so much time struggling that when i took a look at the big picture of my life,i saw that yeah i was med free,but i spent 90 percent of my time in a constant struggle,and i just dident want that anymore.
I also personaly believe that earlier drugs certain ones that i just wont mention cause i dont wanna scare anyone ,but i feel these specific one or two mainstream drugs have caused some type of damage that will live with me for the rest of my life.
Good luck to all of us as we all pick our brains every single day trying to oblivate this pain.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 15, 2005, at 0:17:57
In reply to Re: Maybe I am OK?, posted by willyee on November 15, 2005, at 0:00:43
> I will admitt im envious to anyone who can do it med free,i tried,i went a year off them and it was just so hard,i spent so much time struggling that when i took a look at the big picture of my life,i saw that yeah i was med free,but i spent 90 percent of my time in a constant struggle,and i just dident want that anymore.
((((willyee)))))
I know I have found benefit to medications at times. Sometimes... They help us. And when they help us I think we should take what help we can get. But when they seem to harm more than help... Maybe its time to stop.I imagine I might well need medications at some point. Hopefully just for a while. But if they helped me I'd most definately continue taking them.
This is the end of the thread.
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