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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by denise1966 on September 11, 2005, at 7:53:53
Hi,
For two years I went through the usually trials of different medication with no success, the only drug that really helped was Zyprexa 10mg every now and again. Two years ago the Seroxat at 40mg suddenly seemed to start helping, I actually started to live again and enjoy things again, only thing is I became more promiscous than I had been before because I thought what the hell I might as well enjoy everything I can while I can. I still had down periods but not half as bad. It was so nice just to be reliant on Antidepressants and not ever getting so bad that I needed Zyprexa.
As of Christmas the 40mg of Seroxat seemed to stop helping so much although I was still coping without any really bad anxiety/suicidal ideation attacks like I'd had previously.
I decided that maybe going back on Nardil again for a month and then switching back to the Seroxat might help the Seroxat to work again. This was back in June.
Anyway, I've been off Seroxat for about 3 months, just going through the washout period now from Nardil and have a week and a half to go before taking the Seroxat again.
I'm having to take the Zyprexa every 7 days otherwise I really start thinking about suicidal and I feel completely helpless and hopeless. I hate having to take Zyprexa as it means that I'm really bad again.
I'm so scared that I'll go back on the Seroxat (i intend going on at 60mg this time) and this time it won't help at all and that I'll be stuck taking Zyprexa for the rest of my life.
I hate all of this, most people don't even have to think about or worry about such things.
Denise
Posted by spriggy on September 11, 2005, at 22:34:16
In reply to I'm soooooo worried., posted by denise1966 on September 11, 2005, at 7:53:53
I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time. It's hard to understand why some of us have to suffer with this battle in our minds (daily) while other's never experience the depths of this kind of despair.
It's tough. I'msorry.
Have you ever tried Seroquel?? I know some people on here have had success with it and it's also an antipsychotic- if Zyprexa helps you, maybe this would as well.
What meds have you tried (if you don't mind me asking)??
Wouldn't it be wonderful to just feel "normal" without having to take a pill or work yourself silly to feel that way????
I know.
((hugs))
Posted by denise1966 on September 12, 2005, at 8:31:15
In reply to Re: I'm soooooo worried., posted by spriggy on September 11, 2005, at 22:34:16
Thanks Spriggy.
Why is it that some of us have to feel this total despair while others never have to go through it??? It seems so unfair, don't we all derserve something extra special at the end of it just to make up for all those bad times.
I sometimes think maybe if there is such a thing as Reincarnation, my next life will make up for all the crap I've been through in this life.
You know I was trying to do my CV the other day, and this lady from the agency sent me an example of some other CVS done by some seemingly, dynamic, depression free, contented people, who'd really been successful in there careers. I was thinking what do I put in mine, I felt like putting.
Managed to get through 4 years at IBM and implement some successful projects, inspite of feeling suicidal, panicy, spaced out, sweating profucely, extremely apathetic - Istn't that more of an achievement than theirs.
Managed to facicilate a Monday morning conference call inspite of the fact that I'd spent the previous weekend, walking and walking not caring where I was going, feeling suicidal, frantic etc but still managed to get up Monday morning and do that conference call and carry on for the rest of the f*cking day.
Sorry, it just seems so unfair sometimes and the worst thing is nobody who hasn't been through it really understands at all. They have absolutely no idea what it's like. I'm sure they think we're just weak minded people who just need to get a grip! God how I wish (and I know this sounds bad) that Tom Cruise would suddenly have a breakdown and have a nice (at least) 4 year bout of depression, it disgusts me how he can sit there on his high horse pontificating on how people shouldn't take antidepressants.
Zyprexa helps me just fine so I really don't need to take Seroquel I just want to not need atypical antipsychotics altogether but I realise how lucky I am that I'm there if and when I need them.Like I said in my previous note I'm just hoping high dose Seroxat will help a bit again, I was starting to feel numb on it but give me numb any day over anxiety.
Sorry if this note is a bit long winded, got carried away :-)
All the best....Denise
Posted by mellymel_d on September 13, 2005, at 17:38:34
In reply to Re: To Spriggy, CVs, Tom (f*cking) Cruize and meds, posted by denise1966 on September 12, 2005, at 8:31:15
> Thanks Spriggy.
>
> Why is it that some of us have to feel this total despair while others never have to go through it??? It seems so unfair, don't we all derserve something extra special at the end of it just to make up for all those bad times.
>
> I sometimes think maybe if there is such a thing as Reincarnation, my next life will make up for all the crap I've been through in this life.
>
> You know I was trying to do my CV the other day, and this lady from the agency sent me an example of some other CVS done by some seemingly, dynamic, depression free, contented people, who'd really been successful in there careers. I was thinking what do I put in mine, I felt like putting.
>
> Managed to get through 4 years at IBM and implement some successful projects, inspite of feeling suicidal, panicy, spaced out, sweating profucely, extremely apathetic - Istn't that more of an achievement than theirs.
>
> Managed to facicilate a Monday morning conference call inspite of the fact that I'd spent the previous weekend, walking and walking not caring where I was going, feeling suicidal, frantic etc but still managed to get up Monday morning and do that conference call and carry on for the rest of the f*cking day.
>
> Sorry, it just seems so unfair sometimes and the worst thing is nobody who hasn't been through it really understands at all. They have absolutely no idea what it's like. I'm sure they think we're just weak minded people who just need to get a grip! God how I wish (and I know this sounds bad) that Tom Cruise would suddenly have a breakdown and have a nice (at least) 4 year bout of depression, it disgusts me how he can sit there on his high horse pontificating on how people shouldn't take antidepressants.
>
>
> Zyprexa helps me just fine so I really don't need to take Seroquel I just want to not need atypical antipsychotics altogether but I realise how lucky I am that I'm there if and when I need them.
>
> Like I said in my previous note I'm just hoping high dose Seroxat will help a bit again, I was starting to feel numb on it but give me numb any day over anxiety.
>
> Sorry if this note is a bit long winded, got carried away :-)
>
> All the best....Denise
>
>
>
>Denise- MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY! I know I've accomplished so much in my professional career and I get paid well to do it. Own my own home, have 2 beautiful healthy children, a husband who *tries* to understand ( I say tries from your sentence above- nobody can understand that hasn't went through it) SO with all that said - WHAT THE F@#$ IS WRONG WITH ME? Why am I plagued by these anxious thoughts and feelings? Why am I depressed all the time? Why can't I see myself through rose colored glasses at least...
I feel your pain Denise, and I'm going through it with you sweetie.
The only thing that keeps me from suicidal thoughts is I would NEVER leave that burden on my children. I wouldn't want them to have to wonder forever what they could've done. I live for them.
This is the end of the thread.
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