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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lydia on April 15, 2005, at 22:18:43
i'm 19. paranoid schizophrenia runs in my family. everyone who developed the disease was about 20. i'm bipolar. recently my mood has been well, but i've been having bizzare, breif bouts (usually only a couple minutes, but last night it lasted three hours) of disorientation, COMPLETE UNREALITY, mild visual distortions (things look too far away) and trances (the trances only last about a minute, but are happening more often). my eeg couldn't confirm seizures, but my neurologist thinks epilepsy is a possibility. i take a low dose of lamictal. i've had several neurological tests, and all of them are normal.
IM SOOO SCARED THIS IS SCHIZOPHRNIA.
i mean sick with fear, dreaad. my doctor says its possible but improbable. but im at just the right age! my mind is so unstable! these things are so bizarre! he couldnt explain WHY its improbable. he says these might actually be early signs of M.S., which is equally terrifying, or it might just be anxiety. i dont think its anxiety. he tells me we just have to wait and see what happens to my symptoms since starting the lamictal. IM NOT OKAY WITH THAT!
i want to know whats happening in my brain.anybody have schizophrnia, or know how schizophrenia initially manifests itself? everything i know about schizophrnia is about actual psychotic episodes, not transient non-fullblown symptoms.
this may or may not be relevent: i was in a two-week depressive stupor in the fall. i'm on lamictal and 25 mg of zoloft, and 25 mg of seroquel for anxiety as needed. i've been ABSOLUTELY PARANOID lately, and i think its a result of the weird neurological (psychotic?) stuff, not vice versa.
my stomach hurts so bad right now with fear thinking about schizophrenia. i feel shaky and like i could cry.
i just want to feel healthy. and sane. i feel insane.does anyone know anything?
Posted by banga on April 15, 2005, at 22:39:44
In reply to SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared!, posted by lydia on April 15, 2005, at 22:18:43
Hi,
Im sorry you feel so scared. I cannot personally comment on schizophrenia, I too am more familiar with how things can get for someone who has had schizophrenia for a while. Please do remember that you have bipolar disorder diagnosis...very strange things can happen in bipolar too. Feelings of derealization --feeling disturbingly disconnected from what is around you, and depersonalization--can happen with mood disorders such as depression and bipolar. Remember in fact sometimes bipolar is confused with schizophrenia. But I definitely would not necessarily say what you are feeling is a sign of schizophrenia.I know the message time will tell is probably not much comfort right now, but it may be really the only answer he can give for now.
And also, you have to focus more on what medication could help you, and less about diagnosis. Here on the board you realize that diagnosis is so much less important than going by symptoms in general to find the right help in meds.
It seems like maybe the meds you are on are simply not doing their stuff. Did you and your docotor look at the medications you are taking right now? And the logic behind the mix? You said low dose Lamictal--what is the dosage?
I know you are scared, try to slow down and just take things one step at a time. Focus on what can help now...
Posted by Phillipa on April 15, 2005, at 22:40:17
In reply to SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared!, posted by lydia on April 15, 2005, at 22:18:43
What a legimate fear! I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I do know that an MRI can rule out MS. I'm not sure about schizophrenia. I know about the MS because I have chronic lymes and they thought it could have given me MS so they did an MRI with and without contrast. High anxiety can cause you to become psychotic. Why not call your pdoc and tell him how really scared you are. I know other posters will be here to help. I care. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on April 15, 2005, at 23:14:25
In reply to Re: SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared! » lydia, posted by Phillipa on April 15, 2005, at 22:40:17
You said you were diagnosed with bipolar illness. There is schizo-affective disorder which is a combination of bipolar illness and schizophrenia. I think you just have to wait and see how things develop.
I have to agree with you. If schizophrenia runs in the family, I don't know why your doctor would use the word "improbable".
I hope you get the support you need.
Maxime
Posted by MidnightBlue on April 15, 2005, at 23:44:22
In reply to Re: SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared!, posted by Maxime on April 15, 2005, at 23:14:25
Lydia,
My aunt had paranoid schizophrenia. Absolutely NO ONE else in the family had it. There were people who had problems with anxiety and depression, but no schizophrenia.
I don't know if that helps any, but it might. Also, if someone told me there was even a possibility that it could be MS I would be freaking out.
Take a deep breath and write a list of all the questions you want to ask each of your doctors and if you don't like the answers ask if there are any more tests that need to be done or medications that you need to try so you can feel better.
Good luck my dear!
MidnightBlue
Posted by Racer on April 16, 2005, at 2:46:26
In reply to SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared!, posted by lydia on April 15, 2005, at 22:18:43
I know one thing: your doctors are patting you on the head instead of answering your questions, which always makes me grind my teeth. I don't think you're out of line at all in being upset.
As for your specific fears, they're reasonable -- to a point. There are things about it that I have read: that more people with it are born in the early part of the year, that it seems to be related to a prenatal virus, etc. Beyond that, I haven't read anything about genetics of it. (Or, if I have, I'm way too tired to remember anything...)
The depersonalization, disorientation, etc, are common enough symptoms of anxiety, as well as other mood disorders or epilepsy, or any number of other things. (Personally, I know I have a fever when I start seeing elephants in my bed -- weird, but true. Once the elephants start walking over me, I know it's time to hit the ER. I'm not psychotic, it's just something that happens when I have a high fever...) Although this probably isn't any more comforting coming from me than from the doctor, you're probably OK.
Here's another factor to consider: in schizophrenia, the hallucinations, etc, are not experienced as being hallucinations -- you won't say that you're hearing voices that aren't there, you'll be hearing voices speaking directly into your head, or from invisible people. As long as you're aware that these things are going on, you probably aren't showing early signs of anything Really Really Bad.
'Nother thought for you: most seizure disorders won't show up on the average EEG, unless you have a seizure in the middle of it... You might talk to your doctor or neurologist about diagnostic certainties, just to make sure it's been ruled out.
And, finally, can you tell your doctor that -- even if it is entirely unlikely that there's anything really bad going on, in his opinion -- you're worried about it, it's upsetting you, and you just really want these things ruled out, so that you can relax and move on in your life. You might use those same comments to ask him to explain WHY he says PS is so unlikely. (Although he may say that you wouldn't be worried if it was PS, which might be true...)
Hope something in there helped -- I'm overtired and a bit depressed, neither of which helps my communication skills...
Posted by scatterbrained on April 16, 2005, at 3:08:21
In reply to Re: SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared! -- Lydia, posted by MidnightBlue on April 15, 2005, at 23:44:22
Regardless of what's causing these symptoms, at least you have insight, which is the most important tool against any illness that messes with perception.I know it's terrifying, believe me, i've been there.But, excessively thinking about whether you have Schizophrenia can seriously make things worse. The more you can keep your mind off this fear, the better it is for your brain.Worry can lead to increased cortisol levels which can lead to all kinds of nasty things including depression.Your seeing a doctor and your getting it all tested out, so you should take some comfort in the fact that your in good hands.And because you have a mood disorder, the worst case scenario is that you might develop schizoaffective disorder NOT schizophrenia. The prognosis for schizoaffective disorder can be very good and that's the worst case scenario, so hopefully that will give you some relief.
Posted by bimini on April 16, 2005, at 11:37:59
In reply to SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared!, posted by lydia on April 15, 2005, at 22:18:43
Some wonderful advice here, wow helped me too.
I was told I have schizophrenic affective and bipolar and a boatload of other syndromes, I was more and more shocked at each additional dx. But what others said here is right, the dxs are relative and tentative. A trial description and a way to find you help. Time is the real helper, and boy do I hate hearing it too: have patience, you are in good hands.
After each new dx I went to battle reading up on it. This was incredibly soothing, I learned to correct my misconceptions and that helped all those fears of the unknown.
"wait and see what happens to my symptoms since starting the lamictal. IM NOT OKAY WITH THAT!"
If Lamictal is helping your symptoms, the cause of the derealization spells are more channel gating problems. If it isn't helping, the problem may be more on the dopamine side. That's my understanding, correct me if this is wrong, anyone.
In my case I plunged into sudden gaps of unreality at age 45, I know real from improbable, in most cases recognize hallucinations. Gaps last anywhere from 10 seconds to half hour but also have lasted as long as several hours. When I come out of it I feel exhausted, confused and achey all over. In cases where it lasts for hours it takes me days to recover. I am concious but am limited during these episodes, sometimes cannot speak or understand speach and motorcontrol is unreliable I better sit and wait it out. I get several every day, some more others less, finding triggers is really hard.
bimini
Posted by Phillipa on April 16, 2005, at 14:29:51
In reply to Re: SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared! » lydia, posted by bimini on April 16, 2005, at 11:37:59
I always had been taught that schizophrenia occurred in your late teens and early twenties. You say you had no problems until you were 45? I didn't know a person could be dx'd at that age. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by ed_uk on April 16, 2005, at 16:03:49
In reply to Re: SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared! » lydia, posted by bimini on April 16, 2005, at 11:37:59
Hi Bimini,
>Gaps last anywhere from 10 seconds to half hour but also have lasted as long as several hours. When I come out of it I feel exhausted, confused and achey all over. In cases where it lasts for hours it takes me days to recover. I am concious but am limited during these episodes, sometimes cannot speak or understand speach and motorcontrol is unreliable.............
They sound rather like a complex partial seizures.
Ed.
Posted by bimini on April 16, 2005, at 16:39:05
In reply to Re: SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared! » bimini, posted by ed_uk on April 16, 2005, at 16:03:49
Posted by bimini on April 16, 2005, at 16:53:09
In reply to Re: SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared! » bimini, posted by Phillipa on April 16, 2005, at 14:29:51
I am dx'd affective due to brain damage from an accident. This circumstance complicates getting treatment however, everything's got to go through the channels until everybody is confused beyond a doubt, lol.
bimini
Posted by lydia on April 16, 2005, at 23:24:06
In reply to Re: SCHIZOPHRNIA...im scared!, posted by banga on April 15, 2005, at 22:39:44
Thank you all so much for the helpful advice -- theres a lot of it. its both a HUGE RELEIF and really scary to be told that my fears are ligitimate.
i feel pretty terrible right now, not up to writing much more..my thoughts are a bit clouded, i apolagize this isnt a very thoughtful post
bimini- what you described (the partial seizures?) sound an awful lot like whats been happening to me... You have several every day?! that sounds awful.
what makes me doubt that whats happening to me are partial seizures is that my episodes? have been happening more frequently since starting Lamictal a week and a half ago- (tho im still at only 25 mg a day...) and the bouts of confusion feel more intense.
and if this is MS?! dear God. i dont even know.
since i was little i've always been a little preoccupied with the fear that someday i'd become psychotic. like mother like daughter.
but now that these things are actually happening, it seems to be becoming reality..and i cant really cope with this.
the Lamictal has put a stop to the rapid mood cycling i was experiencing a couple weeks ago.my anxiety has definatly gotten worse since then, but i attribute that to the increase in bizzare perceptions.
banga, phillipa, maxime, midnightblue, racer, scatterbrain, bimini, thanks for your helpful advice, it means a lot. im really out of it right now, and will have to re-read this thread in the morning
thanks guys, have a good night
This is the end of the thread.
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