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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by passionsky on December 10, 2004, at 1:54:28
Hello, I'm new to this group and have a lot of questions. I have had depression most of my life and recently lost it (again). I see myself as borderline personality disorder with major depression. I lost my job in Oct and went into a deep, suicidal state. I have lived with anger and depression for so long I don't even know what it is like not to be angry. So the job loss happens in Oct, I'm feeling angry, crying, rage, suicidal, take a test and doc (not a psychiatrist) gives me some tests and sees that of course score high on the depression side but also sees some bi-polar disorder, (the anger) he puts me on depakote 250mgs twice daily and zoloft 50 mgs once a day. Have been on ssri for nine years. Was on Prozac for seven then celexa and now zoloft, (he put me on that because at the time I had no insurance and its a long story.)
So the point I'm still feeling sad but not angry which sucks because anger I don't know I'm just so used to being angry, no motivation, am 30 years old and feel like life sucks don't see much hope. then I watch prime-time tonight and now i'm wondering if medication is the way to go at all. I also am seeing a therapist (only for about a month now) and don't see anything helpinng in that realm so are these meds really helping or hurting us or what. Am I on the wrong meds I'm just totally confused. Btw sorry to be truly babbling. I feel so f***ing old, and just so pathetic. When I was angry at lest I had someone to blame.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Posted by SDW on December 10, 2004, at 7:39:54
In reply to confused about it all, posted by passionsky on December 10, 2004, at 1:54:28
It sounds like you have been through quite a lot. Losing a job, or not being able to work, can be the most devastating result of depression…there are definitely people who can relate here. Hopefully we can give you some useful information.
I have had several episodes of severe depression, and also suffer from dysthymic disorder, a mild-to-moderate long-term depression.
My first suggestion, after reading your post, would be to consult a Psychiatrist, or maybe a Psychopharmacologist (MD expert in Psychiatric drug therapy). It seems like they would be in the best position to help you. I get the impression that you just haven’t had complete treatment for your illness, or possibly even a correct diagnosis.
I can understand feeling hopeless about meds, wondering if they are even worth it, but many people on this board with situations similar to yours say that the right combination of medications completely changed their lives. Most modern psych drugs are extremely safe, and the risk of letting any mental illness go untreated is a much bigger risk in my opinion. There are many meds and combinations you haven’t tried….
Post ANY question you have. I’m sure someone will have an answer. Best of luck in trying to sort all this out…it can be unbelievably frustrating and confusing, but I think you are already on the road to some meaningful answers…Good luck and keep us posted!
Steve
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on December 10, 2004, at 7:46:06
In reply to confused about it all, posted by passionsky on December 10, 2004, at 1:54:28
Is it possible for you to see a psychiatrist? I work in the mental health field and I can tell you that I have seen so many regular docs put people on the wrong meds. The people don't feel any better and sometimes worse. The right meds can make so much of a difference! Psychiatrists have so much more experience prescribing and are much better at knowing what combos and amts work. You can ask your therapist or regular doc to refer you to a pdoc.
Also, I think it might be helpful for you to have a conversation w/ your therapist about what s/he sees as your problems and diagnosis. You mentioned that you have a diagnosis for yourself, but it is sometimes to dx ourselves b/c we are too close to the situation, you know? Her/his ideas might provide you with some directions for treatment and self-understaning.
Finally, I am suspicious about the bipolar dx. You'd need more symptoms than anger. Also being on an SSRI often triggers a manic state for someone who is bipolar. You have been on one for years? I really think that it is time for a consult.
Best,
EE
Posted by passionsky on December 10, 2004, at 16:02:00
In reply to Re: confused about it all, posted by Emily Elizabeth on December 10, 2004, at 7:46:06
Thanks to Elizabeth for the reply. Yes I have an appt with my fam doc on wed and I'm going to ask him to ask him to refer me to a psychiatrist, I have insurance now.
My new therapist doesn't know when she first met with me she saw bi-polar and now I'm saying to her I don't think so and she is following suit. I am not connecting with her so I think I'm gonna request a new therapist. She just sits and listens to me and repeats what I just said. I understand she is trying to get to know me but I'm not connecting i.e, no new ideas ect. The women has been doing therapy for like 9 years you would think she would have some comfort to give me.
Anyway so on Wed I'm gonna ask Doc to send me to pdoc.
Thanks for the info and for caring I'm so unmotivated and depressed. Did you happen to see the Primetime special last night? If so what did you think of it?
Posted by passionsky on December 10, 2004, at 16:07:37
In reply to Re: confused about it all, posted by SDW on December 10, 2004, at 7:39:54
So did you see the Primetime special last night? You do feel most meds are safe? Why is it that so many people are suffering from depression than in the past. I know media plays a part in that but it seems like a tremencdous amount recently and you have to admit the drug co are making a big profit. I don't know give me your ideas.
Jennifer
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