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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by becksA on September 16, 2004, at 7:26:21
Just wondering if anybody was sharing this same experience...I started suffering from social anxiety when i moved back to the states after living in Europe for 8 years. My anxiety has become bad, and I simply cannot make friends, except with a couple people who I see every day and have become comfortable with. Unfortunately these people are 20 or 30 years older than me so we only get to talk occasisonly at work. It's so frustrating to me because I know I'm intelligent, extremely genuine, and when given the chance, (like in the past) I can make many friends, and very close ones at that!
Posted by lest on September 16, 2004, at 8:29:01
In reply to Anxiety Isolation - like cases?, posted by becksA on September 16, 2004, at 7:26:21
i cant make friends either :] i duno if its my anxiety or if people just arent friendly here in st louis.
Posted by partlycloudy on September 16, 2004, at 8:50:21
In reply to Anxiety Isolation - like cases?, posted by becksA on September 16, 2004, at 7:26:21
Hello, becksA. This is a recurring topic here on Babble. There's no easy answer. My therapist has told me that perhaps I am trying too hard. When I let go of this issue, the anxiety did lessen somewhat. She said that some people can sense when you're trying too hard, and it's off-putting. For me it's been a rough ride, as I have moved often, lost "friends" when I divorced, and I pretty much have to say that my Real Friends are here on Babble.
Being smart and personalable isn't enough, I guess.
Posted by becksA on September 16, 2004, at 9:11:23
In reply to Re: Anxiety Isolation - like cases? » becksA, posted by partlycloudy on September 16, 2004, at 8:50:21
You're right about the clinginess being a turnoff...Looking back on a few opportunities I've had to make friends, I jump at it too quickly, and scare them away I guess...coming right from Europe where I had tons of friends to michigan where I know nobody, when I get the opportunity I just seem a little crowding...so what you say about hanging back and not trying so hard makes sense. I seem to always realize this, unfortunately it's after they've been turned off. After that happens, I totally change and seem cool about it.
Posted by partlycloudy on September 16, 2004, at 9:29:08
In reply to Re: Anxiety Isolation - like cases?, posted by becksA on September 16, 2004, at 9:11:23
Same here. I backed off from worrying about making friends and got invited out for a meal. Go figure. It seems animalistic, doesn't it?
Take care and don't forget your babble pals!!
Posted by becksA on September 16, 2004, at 10:43:20
In reply to Re: Anxiety Isolation - like cases? » becksA, posted by partlycloudy on September 16, 2004, at 9:29:08
I never will!
But you're right...for example I've found with girls, the more you blow them off and don't talk to them, the more they want you. Makes SO much sense. (We're not allowed to express our emotions).
Posted by woolav on September 16, 2004, at 11:08:36
In reply to Re: Anxiety Isolation - like cases?, posted by becksA on September 16, 2004, at 10:43:20
Hi, I am almost thinking that only major CBT will help SP..Because I can take 2mg of xanax and still not say a word in a crowded room. Even on paxil...I am starting a new job soon and during the orientation, there i was just standing there. Looking at everyone else talking....I hate being like this. Thats why I cant make friends, because I cant talk to ppl unless i know them really well. I just started Klonopin and I am hoping that will help. xanax didnt work.
Sandy
Posted by iris2 on September 16, 2004, at 13:01:49
In reply to Anxiety Isolation - like cases?, posted by becksA on September 16, 2004, at 7:26:21
> Just wondering if anybody was sharing this same experience...I started suffering from social anxiety when i moved back to the states after living in Europe for 8 years. My anxiety has become bad, and I simply cannot make friends, except with a couple people who I see every day and have become comfortable with. Unfortunately these people are 20 or 30 years older than me so we only get to talk occasisonly at work. It's so frustrating to me because I know I'm intelligent, extremely genuine, and when given the chance, (like in the past) I can make many friends, and very close ones at that!
I have simialr experiences. You might want to post this on the "Social" board. I'll check to see if you post there.irene
Posted by anxiety_free on September 17, 2004, at 0:55:44
In reply to Re: Anxiety Isolation - like cases? » becksA, posted by iris2 on September 16, 2004, at 13:01:49
> > Just wondering if anybody was sharing this same experience...I started suffering from social anxiety when i moved back to the states after living in Europe for 8 years. My anxiety has become bad, and I simply cannot make friends, except with a couple people who I see every day and have become comfortable with. Unfortunately these people are 20 or 30 years older than me so we only get to talk occasisonly at work. It's so frustrating to me because I know I'm intelligent, extremely genuine, and when given the chance, (like in the past) I can make many friends, and very close ones at that!
>
>
OK, despite the name, I have anxiety....its BACK with a terrible venegance. Anyway, the only friends I've ever had are the ones who latch on to me because I'm "different" and "cool, unique" (few benefits of being an intelligent neuorotic 20 year old). Now I'm at the point that it takes ever escalating doses of benzos for me to even function at a basic level socially. What to do? Beats me. Good luck to all :-)
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 17, 2004, at 1:45:03
In reply to Re: Anxiety Isolation - like cases? » becksA, posted by iris2 on September 16, 2004, at 13:01:49
> > Just wondering if anybody was sharing this same experience...I started suffering from social anxiety when i moved back to the states after living in Europe for 8 years...
>
> I have simialr experiences. You might want to post this on the "Social" board.I went ahead and redirected it:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040914/msgs/391838.html
Thanks,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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