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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pretty_paints on August 21, 2004, at 5:17:04
Ok, it's a saturday and there's no-one I can call, so I'm gonna explain something and see if any of you guys can help me. It's kinda related to both meds and therapy, so I'll post on both boards.
The issues I've been dealing with in therapy are to do with having an emotionally distant mother, who didn't give me much attention. When I was 16 I broke up with a guy, and EVER SINCE, I've had the feeling he was looking over my shoulder. He was ALWAYS there, everything I did was an act FOR HIM. I did it without even realising that I had stopped being *me*. I slowly came to realise that the way I was acting, everything I was doing, my clothes, my beliefs, everything was just an act I put on to impress HIM (this guy in my head). My therapist says its all to do with not feeling that I'm "enough" and having to prove myself etc. Anyway, although I'm far from having dealt with these issues, I have come to realise the ways in which I act, and I started to feel more like *me*, and things were becoming more real. I know deep down the way for me to be happy is to let go of this guy altogether and be myself, but that is still way too scary at the moment.
ANYWAY, how this relates to meds...
I was on 300mg Efexor. 4 days ago I dropped to 225mg and added 15mg Remeron.
OH MY GOD. I AM SO UNHAPPY TODAY. The guy in my head has come back in full swing. Last night for the first time THIS YEAR, I indulged in this massive daydream about us getting back together and getting married and blah blah, and then when I woke up this morning I was so low. I'm totally *acting* for him again (and I cant break out of this). Even worse, this time it feels like I don't even WANT to get over it. I don't WANT to have to cut him out (even though deep down I know it makes me unhappy). I even want to end therapy if all its going to do is gradually ween me off this guy.
WHY HAS THIS SUDDENLY HAPPENED?? Nothing in my life has changed. It just feels like a switch in my brain :( I thought the Remeron was supposed to make me feel happier, not worse. But then I guess Iv only been on it 4 days. Maybe all this is the result of decreasing my Efexor dose. :(
I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT
At least before, even though I found it so hard to cut this guy out of my life, at least I know I WANTED to deep down.
ARRRRGHH
Please please help me anyone. I doubt any of you will be able to. and sorry its not totally related to meds. I just didn't know who else to ask. :(
Posted by HappyGirl on August 21, 2004, at 11:51:05
In reply to Don't know if anyone can help, but I'll try anyway, posted by pretty_paints on August 21, 2004, at 5:17:04
Hi:
Sounds like you have 'depression' that causing those 'issues,' including your mother's 'unattentive' attitude towards you.In my experience, in depressive stage, ... there is/are 'sad'/unhappy feelings that goes a way back to the childhood. Every small things seem 'negative' to me, even though in my heart, there is 'love' between my close relatives and me. For that reason, most of pdocs. rxes 'anti-depressants' to bring up 'good feelings' that in turn makes NOT hold any 'ill/sickly feelings' towards to those who we love.
However, I can NOT be sure, ... because this is simply based on my personal experience during my 'sad' days. Anti-depressant has DEFINITELY a positive and powerful effect on 'unsolved' isses. But then, ... it might be NOT in your case, because there is 'love'/old guy' issue involved. It seems like you still have some 'tender' feelings towards this guy, ... that is causing you 'nagging/unsolved' problem? I can not be sure, ... but if you still have 'feelings' towards him, then you may need a therapist who is 'capable' to give an appropriate advice on this issue, because 'love' issue takes quite awhile to get over.
H.G.
Posted by waki on August 22, 2004, at 22:26:38
In reply to Re: Don't know if anyone can help, but I'll try anyway, posted by HappyGirl on August 21, 2004, at 11:51:05
A correct answer to a question like yours is like an affectionate kiss.
If you would have stayed with him, the only way it would have worked out is if you became blind and he became deaf.
I bet this lover of your's stood in real well with your pet dog.
Lose the thought of the dood by replacing him with a real and better young man.
Posted by J. Backer on August 23, 2004, at 12:56:06
In reply to Re: Don't know if anyone can help, but I'll try anyway, posted by waki on August 22, 2004, at 22:26:38
my first love haunts me sometimes also, not so much when im with a girl. (especially my really awesome new girlfriend) but when i havnt had any relationship type of business going on for a while. i really dislike her but in some sick-ass way i problly have some hidden love that will always remain. anyway this psycho did ocasionally (very occasionaly from what i remember) say some eligightng shit.( or mabey everybody does if you lisen long enough.) but she told me that the first love always takes something when they leave. (actually those are my words, i cant remember exactly what words she used.)
peace J(p.s. self-expression has a way of healing these type of things)
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 24, 2004, at 19:31:07
In reply to Re: Don't know if anyone can help, but I'll try anyway, posted by J. Backer on August 23, 2004, at 12:56:06
> i really dislike her but in some sick-[*]ss way i problly have some hidden love that will always remain. anyway this psycho did ocasionally (very occasionaly from what i remember) say some eligightng sh[*]t.
>
> (p.s. self-expression has a way of healing these type of things)Sorry to be such a prude, but please don't use language that could offend others. Even if it's healing for you.
Anyone who has questions about this or about posting policies in general, or who is interested in alternative ways of expressing themselves, should see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Also, follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Smeegle on August 24, 2004, at 22:22:00
In reply to Re: please be civil » J. Backer, posted by Dr. Bob on August 24, 2004, at 19:31:07
It has been my experience that negative and counter-productive (irrational) thinking significantly increase in relationship to my dose of Effexor. If I miss a dose (or am really late taking it), the irrational thinking sets it. It doesn't seem irrational to me at the time but when I step outside of myself, I can see that it really is. Stick with your plan. Keep seeing your T and keep taking your meds. Ride the mental crisis out. These things seem so HUGE when we are in the midst of them, but somehow we manage to ride it out (often with the help of family, friends and drs). Once you have tamed your demons (and they aren't always easily tamed), hopefully you will find that you can be yourself in a relationship, rather than who you perceive he wants you to be.
Smeegs (taming my own demons)
This is the end of the thread.
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