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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alesta on August 18, 2004, at 14:10:30
wish me luck! the anhedonia is about to drive me crazy. i do think pure monotony would definitely qualify as a serious form of hell, and i'm not waiting to find out. i have struggled with this decision and now am sure it is the right one. when i am alone it is absolutely *unbearable*. i just don't feel like i have anyone i can vent to that would understand this. and, to be honest, i have a whole bunch of other problems right now, like a boyfriend who is a total addict and rages at me all the time, gets mad at me whenever i go on the internet, but has been in the bathroom getting high for the last 3 years. no one knows i'm living with a hardcore addict. i can't leave right now. my mother is now (thankfully) out of my life, as she has narcissistic personality disorder and is *extremely* toxic, destroys my life. my father always ignored me, and my brother, the only family i had, my best friend, committed suicide. so i am totally alone. i've wanted to die since i was 19. i wouldn't kill myself, but i would rather not be here. so i can relate. i manage to genuinely be positive a lot of the time (when i'm on an antidepressant supplement/drug). but the prozac is just not a stable happiness for me (in other words, it ain't working!) i just need a shoulder to cry on at this very moment. i'll probably be fine tomorrow. but have to get this out right now. there has been a *lot* worse stuff that has happened to me than this piddley stuff, but it would take forever. i just figured since everyone else around here is spilling their guts, i might as well. i actually think i feel a little better. guys, please don't give me a bunch of advice. i just wanted understanding. i just wanted you guys to know that i know desperation. we may all have different forms of it, but we share it nonetheless (some of us). i am just here. waiting for all of this to be over.
thank you for listening,
amy
Posted by waki on August 18, 2004, at 14:45:49
In reply to can't take it anymore--going off prozac, posted by alesta on August 18, 2004, at 14:10:30
wow, that was deep, your my hero! i luv it when i can relate.
you have a huge advantage and asset going for you. you know exactly what your problems are. most people don't know what their problems are. hell, you know what to do! think about it!
That word "anhedonia" is now added in my vocabulary. I'm starting to understand why I had a football scholarship and not an acidemic one for vocabulary.
Every post on here keeps throwing a different pass at me with a new word I have to look up. If I don't get any help off this board I'll spell like a pro at least!
I'm working on "anhedonia" as you so elequintly described it. However my p-doc and i don't have as good as vocab as you, we just call it plain ole "pleasure".
we've been turning up the volume on dopimene and it's not cutting the mustard.
I covertly made an appointment with a psycholigist to understand that lack of "anhedonia" elequintly you mention.
I have it in my mind, I'm going to march in this person's office next week and ask for a full evaluation. Sometimes i wonder is it a lack of pleasure I have or a lack of concentration of pleasure or is it that pleasure is an illusion and only in the mind.
A poet could not have better described "anhedonia".
I understand you don't want advise, but I'll give you some free "guy" advise.
You need to lose the dood! If a guy can't complete you, help you and be your rock what good is he?
My friends and I could never figure out why nice girls/women like bad boys. We call it the bad boy syndrome.
My friends talked me into losing this girl I was seeing. I flew her to new york on weekends, showered her with gifts, fixed her house and the bi#$h choked me, I mean choked my neck. And she would scream, nag and complain about every good thing done for her. Hell, I bought her a diamond ring as a gift, I think it set me back 6 grand, and she complained about the shape.
Dropping that chix was the best thing I ever did besides get some help.
Well theres your guy advise, no med advise like you asked!
Once again nice word use of "anhedonia"!
Posted by alesta on August 18, 2004, at 15:28:48
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore--going off prozac, posted by waki on August 18, 2004, at 14:45:49
Posted by woolav on August 18, 2004, at 16:05:57
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore-- WAKI, posted by alesta on August 18, 2004, at 15:33:49
Hi Amy, I can relate to your post also. I have a stepfather with NPD and am planning* to dis-associate myself and my family from HIS life. And unfortunately my mothers life also. She has let him treat me like crap since i can remember and I told her i cant take it anymore. I think narcisist personality disorder is one of the worst mental illness' out there. Anyway, I was just going to ask about the prozac deal. How long have you been taking it? I just switched to it from paxil (and i had the NOTHING feeling on that) so hence the change. I also have had the NOTHING feeling with zoloft too..I was kinda hoping prozac would be the ONE for me..Are you going to try something else now??
:)
Sandy
Posted by alesta on August 18, 2004, at 16:36:37
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore-- AMY, posted by woolav on August 18, 2004, at 16:05:57
Sandy, it is so nice to know that somebody here knows what I’m talking about. Whenever someone hears that I’m having problems with her they tell me crap like “well, you only have one mother, you know” or to forgive and forget or whatever. And they have NO idea. This isn’t just abuse, this is the worst form of abuse a human being can inflict. They aim to *destroy* you. they don't care about you. you just can’t explain it to people who haven’t been through it. I used to wish she would hit me so I’d have proof, because they put on such a good front. I do forgive her. I just want her to stay the h@#$ away from me. In my book, I have no parents. I raised myself.
I’m sorry you’ve been through this, too. You have to dissociate, sandy. your instincts are dead on. I’ve tried having a relationship b/c I felt guilty for the pain I would cause her by dissociating, but you just can’t.
San, I didn’t realize that you’d already tried two SSRIs already with no success. They all work in basically the same manner. I really think if one SSRI doesn’t work for you, none of them will. (it’s good to have the array to choose from due to the different side effect profiles, and to switch off on if you get poopout, though.)
I’ve been taking the prozac for over 6 weeks now, maybe 7. I’ll keep you posted about what I take as a replacement.:)
Thanks!
amy
Posted by waki on August 18, 2004, at 18:52:10
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore-- AMY, posted by woolav on August 18, 2004, at 16:05:57
Sandy,I read somewhere Amy mentioned if one ssri does not work none of them will. That is the exact case for me.
ssri's did absoulutly nothing for me. Paxil turned me inot a zombi who missed steps on stair cases. Prozac, effexor, nadda, zip, zilch a huge ZERO.
My program now is geared around high octane gas, jet fuel, extra coal in the fire, PZAZZZZZZZZZ!
All meds from now on are the stimulating kind. I thought all these wellbutrins, dexidrene's were going to turn me into speedy gonzalas. As Sherlock Holmes said "Quite the Contrary my dear wattson". These meds that are stimulants have more of a normalizing effect on me.you may want to think about throwing in the towel on the ssri's and changing over to these others.
gl
Posted by woolav on August 19, 2004, at 7:53:36
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore-- Sandy, posted by waki on August 18, 2004, at 18:52:10
When my paxil wasnt working, I told my pdoc that I was interested in wellbutrin, because of the sexual side effects and the zombie feeling. But she said to try prozac first. I have heard of ppl taking prozac and wellbutrin. I wonder if that would be a good combo. I got back to the pdoc in 2 weeks...
Thanks
sandy
Posted by waki on August 20, 2004, at 1:22:03
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore-- Waki, posted by woolav on August 19, 2004, at 7:53:36
Its all depends if ssri's effect you. Prozac did nothing for me. When Prozac was given to me they said it was the original Battle ship. sertonin might be a good med to take with wellbutrin because wellbutrin has that speed feeling.
I hope it works out for you.
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