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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Rainee on February 1, 2004, at 18:37:53
I keep telling myself I'm not depressed. My main thing is I feel like I don't want to live anymore.
I couldn't actually do anything too myself at this point but I beg God to take me.
I am mad all the time, fustrated unmotivated, stubborn, pissed. on and on. I don't know what to do it seems antidepessants don't work.
I hate myself and blame myself, feel guilty , argue, fustrated I do nothing feel like I can't do anything...Please...anyone who knows these feelings...let me know.... I don't know what to do.Rainee
Posted by Theta99 on February 1, 2004, at 19:21:02
In reply to has anyone had prolems with extreme irritability.?, posted by Rainee on February 1, 2004, at 18:37:53
In a word yes. I've felt those same feelings before in the past. I was fortunate enough that an SSRI worked for me. I don't feel that way nearly as often, and never as bad any more.
I feel your pain. Hang in there, and keep trying other meds.
Posted by sac on February 1, 2004, at 19:45:24
In reply to has anyone had prolems with extreme irritability.?, posted by Rainee on February 1, 2004, at 18:37:53
Depression takes many forms. Though you may not have a depressed mood, your other symptoms sound like they fit the criteria for a major depressive disorder. I have been on medications for depression for 15 years and bipolar for the last three. My depressions don't always present themselves with a "sad" mood. However, when my depressions recur I get extremely irritable, angry, aggresive...I just plain don't feel good and don't want to live. Many times, I don't even recognize that it's my depression coming back because I don't feel sad, or down. If you have tried the SSRI's without success perhaps talk to your doctor about mood stabilizers (they work well for irritation, anger, instability,etc.) Lithium, depakote, Trileptal, Lamictal are some examples of mood stabilizers. Just some thoughts, Good luck to you and you are not alone. -Stacey
> I keep telling myself I'm not depressed. My main thing is I feel like I don't want to live anymore.
> I couldn't actually do anything too myself at this point but I beg God to take me.
> I am mad all the time, fustrated unmotivated, stubborn, pissed. on and on. I don't know what to do it seems antidepessants don't work.
> I hate myself and blame myself, feel guilty , argue, fustrated I do nothing feel like I can't do anything...Please...anyone who knows these feelings...let me know.... I don't know what to do.
>
> Rainee
Posted by helenag on February 1, 2004, at 20:14:34
In reply to has anyone had prolems with extreme irritability.?, posted by Rainee on February 1, 2004, at 18:37:53
> I keep telling myself I'm not depressed. My main thing is I feel like I don't want to live anymore.
> I couldn't actually do anything too myself at this point but I beg God to take me.
> I am mad all the time, fustrated unmotivated, stubborn, pissed. on and on. I don't know what to do it seems antidepessants don't work.
> I hate myself and blame myself, feel guilty , argue, fustrated I do nothing feel like I can't do anything...Please...anyone who knows these feelings...let me know.... I don't know what to do.
>
> Rainee
Dear Rainee:Please hang in there, Rainee.. Ask your doctor if there is anything more you two can do to help your symptoms.
Yes, your irritability rings a big bell for me. This is a lot like my own depression can be. Angry, pissed off, "mad at the world" is how my doctor described me.
Please don't blame yourself, no matter how frustrated you feel. This is not your fault, how you feel is how you feel. The suggestion you received about mood stabilizers was excellent. They have helped me immensely.
I hope things improve for you soon. With peace, Helen
Posted by terrics on February 1, 2004, at 21:30:12
In reply to Re: has anyone had prolems with extreme irritabili, posted by helenag on February 1, 2004, at 20:14:34
Sorry you are not feeling well. What you are describing sounds alot like what happens to me also. I agree with whomever suggested mood stabilizers. I started feeling alot better when lithium was added to my meds. You may need a combo of meds. My pdoc. did alot of trial and error and came up with a pretty good combination. good luck and feel better. terrics
Posted by terrics on February 1, 2004, at 21:32:35
In reply to Re: has anyone had prolems with extreme irritabili, posted by terrics on February 1, 2004, at 21:30:12
Sorry, the above post was meant for Rainee. terrics
Posted by Rainee on February 1, 2004, at 22:32:04
In reply to Re: has anyone had prolems with extreme irritability.?, posted by Theta99 on February 1, 2004, at 19:21:02
Thank you for the suggestions this is a scary place to be. I never felt like I just want to runaway from everything before. But I have to keep reminding myself I cannot run from myself.
Through this fog I do love my family and want a life. But everything irritates the hell out of me. I will contact a Dr about a mood stabilzer.Rainee
Posted by Karen Moore on February 2, 2004, at 0:09:04
In reply to Re: has anyone had prolems with extreme irritability.?, posted by Rainee on February 1, 2004, at 22:32:04
Sounds like a "mixed state" of bipolar to me. I went through them for years and was misdiagnosed as "anxious depressive" but was really bipolar. SSRIs may make this state worse (if taken w/o a stabilizer). Yes, a mood stabilizer is probably you're best bet. Depakote worked best for me, and I've had two specialists in mixed states/treatment resistance recommend it (Jan Fawcett and Stephen Dubovsky). Also, if you need something to immediately take the edge off the nastiness you might talk to your pdoc about Seroquel, a very low dose acts very quickly and can do wonders, it's kept me out of the hospital a number of times...
Good luck, mixed states are absolutely miserable and scary, but very treatable.
KM> Thank you for the suggestions this is a scary place to be. I never felt like I just want to runaway from everything before. But I have to keep reminding myself I cannot run from myself.
> Through this fog I do love my family and want a life. But everything irritates the hell out of me. I will contact a Dr about a mood stabilzer.
>
> Rainee
Posted by Rainee on February 2, 2004, at 0:27:08
In reply to Re: has anyone had prolems with extreme irritabili » Rainee, posted by Karen Moore on February 2, 2004, at 0:09:04
Thanks Karen..sounds about right this bipolar thing has been floating around for some time for me.. It was panic.anxiety depression....then only time I had wondeful relief was my first intro too prozac many years ago and I was euphoric.
well years later come to find out it was a hypomania..loved it though..lol
but when it wore it off it left me depressed,lethargic,nasty, and 50 pounds heavier.
and I stayed on the stuff for years because I didn't panic anymore.
I'm afraid Depakote will make me gain more I already am 100 pounds over weight.
God I'm at my wits end.... I need help.
I see my therapist tomorrow and I am going to see if I can go inpatient for a bit.Thanks,
Rainee
Posted by Karen Moore on February 2, 2004, at 1:05:45
In reply to Re: has anyone had irratibility, posted by Rainee on February 2, 2004, at 0:27:08
Rainee,
Unfortunately weight gain can be a challenge on Depakote. I think Trileptal is better in that area, but I couldn't tolerate it. You may also want to talk about Neurontin, it does wonders for anxiety. But it's no longer clear if it actually works as a mood stabilizer.
Seroquel did not give me problems with weight gain, but whatever you do, don't try Zyprexa, a similar drug that is often more popular with pdocs these days. I've always been underweight but with Zyprexa I went up by a whopping 30%!
Good luck, if you're pdoc doesn't seem to help get another one. Dysphoric/mixed mania/hypomania can be a beast... but its a tameable one.
KM
Posted by Rainee on February 2, 2004, at 10:02:40
In reply to Re: has anyone had irratibility, posted by Karen Moore on February 2, 2004, at 1:05:45
Hi Karen,
Trileptal didn't do a thing for me . I did give Lamictal a shot but I don't think I was on a theraputic dose and not for very long. Are you able to work?
Rainee
Posted by Karen Moore on February 2, 2004, at 16:00:21
In reply to Re: has anyone had irratibility, posted by Rainee on February 2, 2004, at 10:02:40
No, I haven't been able to work for over 2 years now (seem to have developed CFS/dysautonomia to go with the BP). But I can't live on my savings forever... Starting back on Depakote today. Last time it worked until I threw in some alcohol, Nardil, and a psychotic therapist (no kidding, he was hospitalized for 5 weeks), and completely destabilized. This time I'll add a second stabilizer to the mix if the Depakote alone doesn't work. Probably Nimodipine.
Any luck with your pdoc today?
KM> Hi Karen,
>
> Trileptal didn't do a thing for me . I did give Lamictal a shot but I don't think I was on a theraputic dose and not for very long. Are you able to work?
>
> Rainee
>
Posted by sb417 on February 2, 2004, at 23:08:13
In reply to has anyone had prolems with extreme irritability.?, posted by Rainee on February 1, 2004, at 18:37:53
Rainee, I'm sorry, I haven't read the entire thread, but I was wondering what medications you are on right now. Wellbutrin made me very irritable. It think that was partly because of the Wellbutrin itself and partly from the insomnia that I had while I was on it. Sleep deprivation makes me very cranky! If one of your meds is causing your irritability, perhaps an adjustment is possible?
Posted by Rainee on February 2, 2004, at 23:51:02
In reply to Re: has anyone had irratibility » Rainee, posted by Karen Moore on February 2, 2004, at 16:00:21
well I just talked to my therapist on the phone today. I finally got out of my head and reached out not only her but too you and the other members,and I thank you all. My nephew is a p-doc at John Hopkins and he gives me some insights on how to approach this. So I can get on the right track. He specializes in mood disorders and believe me he doesn't know much more than we do..lol
I wish I'd quit the denial.
Are maoi's helpful to bipolars?
I'm sorry you have another disorder to contend with.
with all the adrenal exhaustion I've been through with panic attacks not telling what really going on with me chemically.
Nutty Docs! lol I could tell you stories..lol and therapists too boot.
Rainee
Posted by Karen Moore on February 4, 2004, at 22:11:14
In reply to Re: has anyone had irratibility ., posted by Rainee on February 2, 2004, at 23:51:02
> well I just talked to my therapist on the phone today. I finally got out of my head and reached out not only her but too you and the other members,and I thank you all.
Excellent! I know that getting rolling in a positive direction is sometimes a huge part of the battle!
>My nephew is a p-doc at John Hopkins and he gives me some insights on how to approach this. So I can get on the right track. He specializes in mood disorders and believe me he doesn't know much more than we do..lol
Well, tell your nephew to drop in on Dr. Kay Jamison. Last time I heard she was still there at JH. And knows more about bp, personally and professionally, than most anyone on this planet. Besides the popular books she's written, she also co-wrote a fantastic/extensive 900pg textbook on Manic-Depressive Illness.
> I wish I'd quit the denial.
At least you recognize it as such! I've used my journal to help me avoid denial. It still blows me away to read how manic I was a year ago and yet still managed to convince my pdoc that I was quite sane!
> Are maoi's helpful to bipolars?
They're the only ADs that have ever helped me. So, yes!> Nutty Docs! lol I could tell you stories..lol and therapists too boot.
Yeah. But at least they've kept me entertained this year. I hate boredom more than anything...KM
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