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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jay on June 12, 2003, at 21:47:32
Warning: Long and *needy*.
I've been asking about antipsychotics..and mainly because it looks like I will have to be on one permanently. I am kinda sad so fe responded with experiences. I now have very frequent explosive, rageful attacks, (DSM "Explosive Personality Disorder") and I haven't hurt anyone physically, but am starting to break things on purpose, put holes in walls, and aggressively swear at anybody who looks at me the wrong way, and now hate pretty much everybody and anything. I am even afraid to drive. I have also been banging my head against a wall and causing nasty bruises on a regular basis. I have no friggen idea why. I am still in touch, I think, with reality, but I also have many memory 'blackout' periods. I fear for my own life, because it is making some sence that I feel like for others around me would be much easier if I just ended it. I know how to do it..am not chicken to do it...and if decided to, that would be it. No half-hearted attempts..none of that...it would be over fast and quick..period.
I also cry all the time, and my anger usually comes through my tears. This part, the deep, rageful anger has been it's worst in the past two years.
I know about all the antidepressants..the benzos..and mood stabalizers...so I don't need any info on them, as they have made things worse often. When I went on Lithium, I spent 4 weeks phoning up every relative and friend who ever let me down and yelled at them for as long as possible and told them that I thought they where scum. The same feelings come with most other mood stablizers. Oh..and I'd rather be dead than do ECT...even if only slight memory risk, there is some chance of very bad risk...and a number of friends (the few I have) have said ECT can work for the depression..but not consistent explosive personality.
It's time to bring in the 'big guns'. Please...more than just one or two of you out there must have experience with wider ranges of antipsychotics. Once I get the anger soothed and such, then we will look at the other treatments for more common depression and such.
As far as what I have been on..smaller doses of Risperdal, Zyprexa, and Quintepine(?)..whatever it is called. Geodon, Apriprzol(sp?) and all others aren't avaialble in Canada..but I may talk to my doc about getting a "special medical need" import.
I'll even go to the ER tonight if I have to..I dunno...I am going to go and try to talk to my Dad. The problem is...he is a carbon-copy of me...on major meds for depression/explosive personality disorder...anxiety..etc.
There is only one word to sum this up: F**K! (Dr. Bob I didn't say the word..so none of your PBC stuff, alright? Man..)
Comments from some experienced users, and also folks with Borderline Personality problems, schizo-type personality..and even brain injuries, as I was born with a developmental disorder (ya..a "retard"!)..and had a bad tic problem that surfaces once in awhile.
Oh man...thanks for your comments..please..
Jay
Posted by slinky on June 12, 2003, at 22:07:56
In reply to I *really* need help..please.., posted by jay on June 12, 2003, at 21:47:32
Jay...You wrote you tried mood stabilizers but have you tried carmazapine (sorry can't spell today)
It helps extreme anger outbursts anxiety rage etc. I know someone who takes it --but everyone's different ...Hope you get some relief soon.
Posted by justyourlaugh on June 12, 2003, at 23:00:14
In reply to Re: I *really* need help..please.. » jay, posted by slinky on June 12, 2003, at 22:07:56
jay,,
i always took that rage and anger against myself...
seoquel was quite numming for me but really helped when i took a dose(100 or 150) when needed or for sleep.
lorazapam has been working for me...though i take enough to stop pretty much everything...no rage,depression,thought.....
sorry you are having such a bad time :(
please post soon jay
s
Posted by Ritch on June 12, 2003, at 23:22:11
In reply to I *really* need help..please.., posted by jay on June 12, 2003, at 21:47:32
Jay, I 2nd Slinky's idea about Tegretol (carbamazepine) if you haven't tried it. Don't know if you have tried Depakote or not. If you try a conventional AP-check into thioridazine. As far as the borderline traits go-you might check into some Luvox.
and... it might be worthwhile to talk to your Dad. Ask him what *he* thinks about your rage spells, and how *he* deals with his rage spells and what *he* thinks about them.
Posted by jay on June 13, 2003, at 8:41:37
In reply to Re: I *really* need help..please.. » jay, posted by slinky on June 12, 2003, at 22:07:56
>
> Jay...
>
> You wrote you tried mood stabilizers but have you tried carmazapine (sorry can't spell today)
> It helps extreme anger outbursts anxiety rage etc. I know someone who takes it --but everyone's different ...Hope you get some relief soon.
Hi..thanks very much for posting. Yes I have tried carbamazapine, but it made me very, very depressed. I've been through most mood stabalizers actually, with little help. It feels like a "wet blanket", minus any benefits, is put on my mind with them. I am looking at Trileptal(sp?), it's cousin, though and keeping open to options. I have a feeling it is going to take 2+ mood stabalizers, or a mood stabalizer and antipsychotic to notch down this fire of torment in my head.Thanks again..jay...
Posted by jay on June 13, 2003, at 8:43:49
In reply to Re: I *really* need help..please.., posted by jay on June 13, 2003, at 8:41:37
this above message for Slinky...
Posted by jay on June 13, 2003, at 8:59:56
In reply to Re: I *really*, posted by justyourlaugh on June 12, 2003, at 23:00:14
> jay,,
> i always took that rage and anger against myself...
> seoquel was quite numming for me but really helped when i took a dose(100 or 150) when needed or for sleep.
> lorazapam has been working for me...though i take enough to stop pretty much everything...no rage,depression,thought.....
> sorry you are having such a bad time :(
> please post soon jay
> sHi JYL..thanx..it's nice to hear from you. I've noticed I have taken out my problems on mymself too..with a tab bit of self injury, but a *LOT* of neglect! Because I felt (feel) there was/is not much to live for, I did things like avoid most physicals from doctor since 1997...I've been locked in my room since 1997! heh. Neglect..major, major neglect...plus I was really screwed by our mental health system..when I got not one, two, but three refferals to Mood Disorders Clinic..and the people there *lost* every single one! (My doc's secretary has the copies time stamped when she sent them in..the first one in December of last year! So..the **** with the 'Mood Disorders Clinic'...supposed to be only three month waiting list...and NOW they tell me 6 months latter thery haven't gotten my referals! No wonder I am so infuriated!!) So..I wrote them a letter and told them if I showed up in a body bag if they would give me service. Haven't heard back from them..as usual.
On meds, I am looking at Seroquel, plus maybe a PRN small dose of a typical antipsychotic. This is really situation critical...I've never felt at such the end of my rope as I have now in 12+ years. So, now my turn to get my power-house meds. I've even started bruising myself badly..and man I don't want that to turn into further self injury..as it could. Plus..well I told you I know my one simple easy way out...and that scares the hell out of me. It wouldn't be some half-hearted attempt or whatever...just one quick action, and it's over with. No notes..no nothing. I can hold off on it...but it's creeping up too close. It's time to bring out the 'big guns' and slay this beast, or atleast wound it.
Thanks as always..and I hope you are feeling better..
SIncerely,
Jay
Posted by jay on June 13, 2003, at 9:15:48
In reply to Re: I *really* need help..please.. » jay, posted by Ritch on June 12, 2003, at 23:22:11
> Jay, I 2nd Slinky's idea about Tegretol (carbamazepine) if you haven't tried it. Don't know if you have tried Depakote or not. If you try a conventional AP-check into thioridazine. As far as the borderline traits go-you might check into some Luvox.
>
> and... it might be worthwhile to talk to your Dad. Ask him what *he* thinks about your rage spells, and how *he* deals with his rage spells and what *he* thinks about them.
Mitch..thanks..you have been so kind in offering your experiences. I am obviously at a desperate..actually most desperate than ever..point..and particular info is really helpful, especially since there is not much info or good research out there on older antipsychotics. As I said to Slinky, I did try the carbamazepine, but as a single mood stabalizer, it plungged me into depression and still kept the tears flowing as well as no effect on anger..no matter the blood levels, the brand, the type (XR vs. IR etc..)..the total dose..etc.
Depakote I have plenty of experience with, and again it was like the carbamazepine, but also seemed to make my anger explosions worse..no matter dose, timing, etc.My Dad just got put on Risperdal with his combo of Doxepin and bromazepam. He just got the Risperdal a few days ago..so I don't know if it will work for him yet. See I live with my folks..and heck I think I cause much of this pressure on them, and just have this inkling that the Risperdal for anger was brought on by some of my absolutely low, very nasty moods.
About Luvox..that was the first SSRI I tried in 1993 or so, and I couldn't tolerate the physical effects (lot's of flu-like symptoms)..and after 7 months, became a "walking weeping" case, and cried and isolated myself daily.
About thioridazine, well all the research say it's likely one, if not the, safest of the typical's, but the cataract warning, which is strong, as well as your experiences in that area, I am not sure if I can risk that.
Thanks again so much for your help..and please take good care...
Sincerely,
Jay
Posted by Ritch on June 13, 2003, at 10:49:27
In reply to Re: I *really* need help..please.. » Ritch, posted by jay on June 13, 2003, at 9:15:48
Jay, you might check out how your Dad is doing with the Risperdal (let him by your guinea pig) and see how he responds to it. Very likely a good response with your Dad may predict a good response for yourself. good luck---Mitch
Posted by babs on June 13, 2003, at 16:29:57
In reply to I *really* need help..please.., posted by jay on June 12, 2003, at 21:47:32
Jay- I agree with Ritch. how your dad does on risperdal may predict how you do on it. Also, I think you mentioned (please correct me if I'm wrong) that you tried low-doses of atypicals. Perhaps you need a higher dose to help with your explosive anger. I don't have that particular problem but it took me 2 mg of risperdal just to get my anxiety under control. Maybe you need a higher dose. At any rate, hang in there. There are people who do care. Peace to you, babs
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